9622.net

What, no Joe Jackson?

Mine: Dishonesty, pretension, social climbing, status obsession, tattoos, egoism, Budweiser, egoTism, not being adventurous or curious, Brussels sprouts, condescension, those trendy clear-yet-reflective sunglasses (the J-Lo look), lipstick in funky colors, Circus Peanuts, fashion magazines, the fashion industry in general, Republicans, leg hair.

And many more, as soon as I think of 'em.

(and Migs, I hope you're saving the "What turns you ON?" thread for later?)

Budweiser?

There go your chances with me, honey. Besides you could never afford me...

Actually, I don't really have any turn-offs that I can think of. Maybe meanness. Narcississm. Nose rings, excessive makeup, bony asses, what I call the "Medusa Look"-all black, snakey hair, platforms.

Turn-ons are much more fun: girls in glasses, raspy voices, women who drink, girls who dress tomboyish, short "quirky" hair, the ability to make a good cup of coffee, to appreciate good music, to talk dirty with a straight face, and smiles.

Turn-ons are a whole 'nother bag o' worms...and prolly something I shouldn't post from work...

Jon and Vidiot! I'd assumed, as a good Latin, turn-ons included everything else. :)

I'll never forget a thirteen-year-old friend of mine at school running riot round the playground, shouting: "Ana Salgado is sitting in the grass, all barefoot!"

Still: turn-ons: raincoats; intelligence; crew neck sweaters; Louise Brooks bobs; indecision; cigarettes; husky voices; loving clothes; cleanliness; fickleness.

Leg man, eh Miguel?

Turn-ons for me (hmmmmm...at least the ones I'm willing to post here): intelligence, smiles, wicked senses of humor, an appreciation for (and better yet, a willingness to make) puns, a love of movies beyond what you see in the multiplex, willingness to try anything once, goofy sense of humor, a certain way of walking (kind of a willowy sashay, if I had to describe it), self-confidence, spring evenings, library stacks, big eyes, girls that play guitar (or drums), the smell of the sea, women who drink (right on, Jon!), Yeats, deep knowledge of an esoteric field (any one), sophistication without snobbiness, globe-wandering, et cetera, et cetera.

But, of course, it's not limited to these -- I have no particular "type." I've been known to fall in love with women in the next car over, and then find myself being overcome with wistfulness when the light changes.

Sigh.

gosh Miguel, if you like intelligence, cigarettes, loving clothes, indecision, and fickleness, maybe I should introduce you to the Psycho Ex.

(nope -- I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.)

Does anyone remember those things that were overalls but instead of going down like pants, they were shorts as well? They used to be quite common, but don't pop up frequently anymore. Those things are enough to send me into a "I just found my best friend fucking my girlfriend" rage. I guess you could call that a turn-off.

And they're even worse on guys.

I feel the same way about capri pants.

Turn offs: Men who still live with their parents up to the age of 35, male camel toe, octopus syndrome

Sometimes I think I live in the wrong country.
....

Nah.

octopus syndrome?

also known as: grab-ass syndrome, happy hands syndrome, ABCS (attempted body cavity search), Yellow Pages syndrome (Letting your fingers do the walking), etc.

Not related at all to: hentai

You mean Roman hands?

*rimshot*

Nothing turns me off quicker than a girl cutting off my penis and wearing it on a necklace around town.

But for sensual pleasure, I cast my mind back to days on the croquet lawn, wooly cricket jumpers and the soft blush of twilight, as Smythe brought out the G & Ts with his softly trembling hands. Something in the crease of his frock coat and the slightly mildewy smell of his ears drove me insane with lust, though the class difference made it an impossibility.

Later, in front of the fire with my foxhound, I found relief, lost in the rough stroke of forepaws and dewy whiskers.

I can't believe Miguel doesn't like romance novels. A Harlequin on a rainy day is like jerking off when the missus is away for a week vacation.

You do it to pass the time.

"What is guaranteed to turn you off?"

Underarm hair, bad teeth, and an aversion to bathing.

France, in other words.

Turn-off: cigarette smoke. It's so stinky. When everybody smoked I didn't notice it that much, but now it really smells dreadful.

This sounds sappy but my strongest turn-on is affection. If I find you endearing, Brad Pitt's got nothing on you.

I'm actually turned-off by lists about people's turn-offs.

Good morning, sunshine!

cop mustaches.

Turn-ons for me (hmmmmm...at least the ones I'm willing to post here): intelligence, smiles, wicked senses of humor, an appreciation for (and better yet, a willingness to make) puns, a love of movies beyond what you see in the multiplex, willingness to try anything once, goofy sense of humor, a certain way of walking (kind of a willowy sashay, if I had to describe it), self-confidence, spring evenings, library stacks, big eyes, girls that play guitar (or drums), the smell of the sea, women who drink (right on, Jon!), Yeats, deep knowledge of an esoteric field (any one), sophistication without snobbiness, globe-wandering, et cetera, et cetera.

Mommy! Mommy! That bad boy Vidiot is giving me a hard-on!

turn-offs: my kittens nursing off each other.

just plain creepy.

Mommy! Mommy! That bad boy Vidiot is giving me a hard-on!

Dude! You are seriously freaking me out!

Also, you sound like Frank Booth.

That sound you hear is my libido shooting itself in the head.

With a peashooter. That's all it took. But still it had to be done.

I'm confused by your post and comments, Mig, maybe I'm reading this backwards, but I'm also not Portuguese ; )
Ok turn offs: A guy. Deeper: a woman who is stuck on her, what could be worse, bad breathe.

Turn on: (hard to find one, today’s turn ons become yesterday’s, what was I thinking dude, hit me please. One I’ll go with: foreign.

How's our Cold Chef? Bit wet?

I worry, you know.

Turn offs: Snobs, bigots and idiots. Pseudo-intellectual poseurs. People who spell poser with an extra "u". And stupid people. Ok, most people. Smelly feet. Slow cars and fast men.

Turn ons:
Self knowledge and acceptance. A love of reading. The ability to make a good martini, grill a rare steak and pick a good bottle of wine. Fast cars and a slow man.

Mommy! Mommy! That bad boy Vidiot is giving me a hard-on!

Errr......urp.....ummmm....

I'm speechless.

*attempts to blot from mind pending explanation, moves on*

For some reason, this thread is putting me in mind of this exchange from Bull Durham:

Annie Savoy: What do you believe in, then?

Crash Davis: Well, I believe in the soul, the cock, the pussy, the small of a woman's back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days.
[pause]
Crash Davis: Goodnight.

Annie Savoy: Oh my. Crash...

Hey, apropos of nothing...is the big blue down for anyone else, or am I just having DNS issues again?

Hey, apropos of nothing...is the big blue down for anyone else, or am I just having DNS issues again?

Grrr! Sorry about the double post...not sure how that happened.

It's not working for me either, and the wiki says it's down.

Wouldn't that be funny if it was just...gone?

Ah, I dunno. that place was turning into a leftist version of Free Republic.

When you've stopped loving someone, go ahead and break up with them. But that doesn't mean they can't date other people.

No, I still "date" the MeFi, but I like to entertain the fantasy of hysteria that would slowly build as the realization hit people that MeFi was actually...gone!

Where would we go? What would we do? Would we be forced to go outside, like that episode of the Simpsons where Itchy and Scratchy is terrible and the neighborhood kids all go outside to play? Or would there be nasty withdrawls, followed by long periods of blue-free depression?

I just have an overactive imagination. It must be a much crueler mistress to me than it has been for me to wish for it's demise.

That last sentence was less unwieldy in my head when I wrote it. Now it reads like I'm channeling "stilted college-speak."

There are enough people on MeFi that it is silly to declare it anything. It just so happens that that noisiest people there are utter tools. That is too bad.

I always envisioned a Bering Strait Land Bridge-type migration to another site upon the demise of The Blue. Either that or it would just splinter into a bunch of feudal (and most likely feuding) smaller sites where the new Matts could just go ahead and impose their own damn The Way It Used To Be visions and be done with it already.

And I, for one, would sorely miss our vibrating, pancake-munching, pony-riding, Pepsi-Blue-drinking overlords.

God. It's annoying enough over there.

You know, I've thought about when the plug gets pulled on MeFi (which it probably hasn't: check megnut and Matt's a.whole, they're both down too). My guess is there won't be an announcement beforehand.

Actually, that ties into one of my turn-offs: making melodramatic announcements warning people of the obvious consequences for their bad behavior.

Matt doesn't strike me as the kind of guy to do that ahead of time, he'll simply take it offline and delete all the emails that come in with a subject line of "MetaFilter???!!!!"

1. "Tools" is one of my favorite words. I call lots of people "tools." It's brilliant.
2. Land-bridge theory: Not a bad scenario...but was that the migration where the humans crossed over, or the one in which the mammals overtook the poor marsupials and ate them all? (I'm guessing the former...)

Oh, yeah, on a more pleasant note Vidiot turned 28 yesterday. We celebrated by consuming sausage and beer watching barmaids dance with bulldogs.

Twas pleasant. You are now officialy pushing thirty, mack daddy.

*looks up from marsupial-B-Q sandwhich*

yeah, the former.

Turn offs: clowns, ventriloquist dummies, puns, collectible figurines, people pestering you to be in pictures you don't want to be in.

I guess this isn't the time to tell tj about my vast collection of smurfs.

Especially not Bozo Smurf.

That's why we just clandestinely photograph you without your knowledge, tj. Your every movement is traced by us.

Whose turn is it to change the batteries on his car's GPS unit, again?

Turn-offs:

Visors, Patchuli, hair gel, dirty nails, staring, profession of your undying love for all things Star Wars/Trek, big muscles, small cocks (ha!), savior-complexes, referring to me as "the marrying type," overt aggression, and willful ignorance.

Vidiot! Happy birthday, you old coot! Sneaking up on 30 won't help any--just jump in with both feet.

One of us. One of us. One of us....

I hope that the indigestion was less than I imagine with Mr. McNally as your birthday guide, and that the bulldogs were pretty. Or something.

Hey Vidistalker, this is what I'm referring to about the picture thing.

Got that midwestern Don Johnson thing happenin' there, huh teej?

NTM, I always wondered where the contestants on Blind Date hung out. Now I know.

Jon, do you really want to start ripping into your friends, asshat?

tj, you're the only one in all of the pictures that doesn't look like he/she just snorted a bump. Teeth grinding smiles!

Teej, it was just a joke. That's what we do here I thought, poke good natured fun at eachother.

Sorry.

The difference is that when you do it, jon, it often sounds petty.

You know what, I have enough aggravation in my real life. I don't need this.

Have fun.

I know it's not about deep fried or junk food so it doesn't interest you or anything. and please regail us with another boring story of Rob the EMT.

on preview.. right back at ya.

was that a bit over the top?

I can never tell.

There is room for everyone here, and not everyone has to get along all the time.

witchy, the DJ was so horrible that is was "must pretend to be having a good time" for most of them (except the other guy in the photo was thinking "must fire this wedding DJ and get a real one"). I refused to do that.

$16 martini?!?

Yowtch.

Although I guess that's better than The Pearl of Shanghai.

The phrase "coke bump smile" makes me think of David Lee Roth as he appears these days.
"nnnggggg!"
Not a bad thing, btw. I can't ever look that jolly.
TJ poses for pictures like I do.
I'm either "kind of unhappy looking" or "vying for attention with my naked ass."

And hey, happy birthday Vidiot.
28, huh.
Soon, Avril Lavigne will seem threatening.

Hope you had a happy one, vidjit. Glad to see I'm not the only cancer 'round here.

Potstickers are the greatest food invention in the history of humankind.

It's very difficult to elevate your foot in a cubicle. My sausage toes have returned and are back for blood.

Happy 28th Vidiot!

Mmmm...blood sausage toes...

And a happy B-day to the whippersnapper!

oh damn.. sorry Vidiperson.. happy birthday and such!

Happy birthday, Vidiot!

*grumbles...28! Jesus Christ!*

I believe Jesus is 33. Which reminds me--as I am now 30, I should be kickstarting my ministry.

Hey, there's monkeys in the New York Times today.

They use facial expressions as an aid to perceiving speech - probably helps prevent misunderstandings *cough cough*

wow. just, uh... wow.

i was wondering just how long it would take for the nastiness of the blue to sneak over. maybe, just maybe, if it went back up, we could return to happiness and light.

If people are cranky, let them crank. We can even have a thread for it.

Vidiot A Happy Birthday salute, 28, that’s not 30, don’t listen to the old farts.
You have 2 more years of your 20’s to enjoy, who knows what you will acomplish before us.
I have you beat by 6years & 16days as age goes [scratches head]wonders how many beers that would add up to. Cheers on your young years...want to trade some youth for wisdom, mind you my wisdom is brain dead from all the beers I’ve drunk.

Really?

Crank thread? Just like the drug I'm mildly intrigued yet petrified of the side-effects.

And once you go crank, you'll never go back to bumps of coke.

Thankya to all of you. With monkeys like these, who needs friends?

Er, that came out wrong.

By the way, one of our lurkers has a birthday today...

Glad to see I'm not the only cancer 'round here.

Sad part? I had to read this three times. *awareness dawns*

now that I'm old, I must be coming down with Whats-Its-Name's Disease.

See, it's a slow societal breakdown at first: people bickering, early-onset senility in birthday boys, the craaaaaazy suggestion that we don't need to be happy all the time, and then we realize...

28 days later....

that we're all zombies. Gone mad! Mad!

They'd better get either MeFi back up, or find a cure, STAT!

(I haven't seen 28 Days Later. It looks too scaaary.

This thread was - from the get go, please take two fingers and push those drooping edges of your lips up into a smile, it's a b-day celebration in here; if you can't do that, go stare at the sun for a few hours; your sure to form a smile by your squinting blind eyes.

whoops left off; actually taking my hat off to Languagehat, Happy Birhday.

Vidiot!

Happy birthday. Drink hard or spank something/one to celebrate.

Or both.

My biggest turn off is monkey. Period. The

My biggest turn off is monkey. Period. The conspirators have blinded you all! www.monkeyconspiracy.com

is monkey? the state of being monkey?

I'm not sure what you're trying to say here.

*throws tj back into basement*

it puts the lotion on it's skin or it gets the hose again.

Happy birthday, languagehat!

Just relaxing with my thoughts, folks.

I kiss you!

Gawrsh... thanks, guys!

By the way, the wife was jealous of Koko, so she and I recently got our own monkey at the Bronx Zoo gift shop, and it will presumably be making an appearance at the next NYC meetup.

*just now notices*

Ladies, what shade of nail polish is that thread-topping monkey wearing?

Happy birthday Vidiot and Languagehat!

Umm....yeah, that's all I got.

Belated happy b-days to vidiot and languagehat. Hope you guys had a good one.

Since I'm already forced to go to the pub tonight and hoist a pint for my friend Brendan, I'll make sure I hoist one for each of you. (You know -- since I'm so rarely at the pub.)

I'm steeling myself for my own birthday nonsense later this month. 34. Where has the time gone? I'm pretty sure I was still in my 20s just last week.

Thanks, aine42! My wife and I had the celebratory dinner at Tabla, and began getting sloshed on their scrumptious Tablatinis, which I recommend to all lovers of things served in martini glasses who aren't martini purists.

I'm not a huge fan of pineapple juice, but I'm bettin' Mr. Aine42 -- who is -- would love those. Think I'll have to share the recipe, seeing as how there will be at least one cookout this weekend. What better for lounging on the tiki patio? (Yeah -- they built a tiki patio at their house. Complete with bar and goldfish pond.)

Very belated but enthusiastic birthday greetings to good old Vidiot and good old language hat! :)

Say, happy birthday Language Hat.
I admit I'm not familiar with you, but there's no viable reason why I shouldn't be pleased you were born, other than the generally increasing congestion on the freeways, but that's really sort of abstract.
Well done. Way to not die yet.

Everybody OK here? Do we need a head count?

And severed heads don't count.

*crickets*

p-p-probably just the wind...

*creaking*

*takes bath for no good reason*

can I come out from under the stairs yet?

*the lights go out*

Zoinks! Run, Scoob!

What's that flashing?

*eats maggot-ridden chicken-leg*

Hey, just because I've got leprosy that's no reason to call me maggot ridden!

And stop that, it tickles.

Meka Leka HI meka Hiney Ho!

Did somebody say ... swish?

I love my toys!

...Later, in front of the fire with my foxhound, I found relief, lost in the rough stroke of forepaws and dewy whiskers.

Dear ghod, I love the kaf.

Happy day, V!

*misses playing with you guys during the week*

*looks around on an empty 9622 at 10:13 on a holiday morning*

*fling!*

Dear ghod, I love the kaf.

Me too. This slayed, err, slew me.

Hi, gang! I'm back... Happy birthday, Vidiot and Languagehat! Witchy, how are you feeling? How *is* everyone? Any chance I can get Cliffs Notes of the past two weeks?

: cheery waves! :

I was gone on vacation for a week. I can't believe I missed this thread!....

Miguel posted a pic of a baby monkey!

Lupo!!!! You are back, you are back!

*happy tizzie dance*

I was gone on vacation for a week. I can't believe I missed this thread!....

Nothing to see here...move along, the show's over, folks...

The happy tizzie dance is my favorite tizzie dance of all.

Lobo!

Do you like the regular version or the "pole" version?