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Bitch.

When jpoulos pulls that mp3 to save bandwidth charges, make sure you listen to the infamous monkey sex call.

The infamous monkey sex call was goddamn fucking HILARIOUS! And when the Monkees song came on...I was on the floor. Oh man.

Oh. my. sweet. GOD!

When I was but a tiny Southern Baptist tot, our weekly busload of tykes sang that catchy little song every Sunday, on the way to church. (The monkey one, not the Monkees one.)

Consider that the next time you're tempted to send your kids to their weekly brainwashing session. That kid in A Clockwork Orange had it easy.

That infamous monkey sex call was off the hook.

For the "The Monkey Song", man that is just sad. Nothing like warping the minds of youth through propaganda. Optamystic, I feel for you. I thought this song was bad enough growing up.

Whay couldn't we have been exposed to this one?

plemeljr: actually, i learned that from my 7th grade science teacher. my intro to tmbg. thank god for public ed, eh?

It's a good thing Charles isn't alive to listen to this. He liked a good tune, did the old Darwin.

May I be forgiven for actually liking the "hey" right at the end of the song, jpoulos?

Damn. Zandinga won't let me play the song again.

AUGHH! I gots no sound at work. You people are killing me!

(on a side note, a friend of mine was briefly engaged to Crystal Bernard's sister. That's all I really have to say.)

The lyrics, painstakingly (and painfully) transcribed for my monkey brother:

The Monkey Song
Robin and Crystal Bernard

Chorus:
I'm no kin to the monkey (no no no)
The monkey's no kin to me (yeah yeah yeah)
I don't know much about his ancestors
but mine didn't swing from a tree

It seems so unbelievable
And yet they say that it's true
They're teaching us about it in school now
That humans were monkeys once too

(Chorus)

Although it's so ridiculous
They're teaching us now that it's true
The teachers that came from a monkey
Would be better off in a zoo

(Chorus)

It seems so much more believable
And surely, surely it's true
That God made Man in His image
No monkey story will do

(Chorus)

This monkey business has to go
Because it just isn't true
It's such a disgrace to the monkey
A disgrace to the human race too

(Chorus)

mine didn't swing from a tree
mine didn't swing from a tree

What a fucking idiot. Thanks, jpoulos.

Well, from the looks of Crystal's hairdo, she's about ten years away from marrying a televangelist.

I read somewhere that she dated Rush Limbaugh. Seriously.

Sigh.
No more "inappropriate behavior" during Wings for dong resin.

Cheer up, Dong. There's always "Faye."

Faye? Faye Dunaway?

Fay Wray? She was a monkey lover.

I'd like to apologize to anyone who, like me, has had this damn song stuck in his/her head all day.

Slowly Quickly....going....mad....

Sorry. I meant Fay.

god damn you jpoulos. that song reminds me of that time I was stuck in a bear trap and had to gnaw my way through my ankle. only it was more painful. and the pain lingers longer.

get it out of my fucking head! out, out damn song! I can't... i just... i'm... no kin to the monkey the monkey's no kin to me....

la la la

Using my father's computer. I have just listened to the song above.

Truly. Fucking. Awfulyeahyeahyeahyeah.

Brittney is right to be a little freaked and quick to name Faye Dunaway... she's seen it angered, and up close.

Ohhh .... my old favourite "The Monkey Song". I have a much lower quality version of this song which I treasure. Nice to have a higher quality version, thanks!

I don't suppose that jpoulos (or anyone) has a longer version of this mp3 with (who I assume is) Jerry Falwell introducing the song? His long rambling introduction never ceases to amuse me (i mean Jerry Falwell not jpoulos)

As a matter of fact, I came across that version during my failed attempt to find the lyrics online. Here it is.

You all must listen to that longer version. It includes a second, even more outrageous song.

ok, I'm listening to this while loking at animated gif that adam put up.. it synchs disturbingly well

After listening to the second version, I'm surprised that they could figure out how to use all that strange, magical and miraculous recording equipment.

I've reached a zen state about this track. I imagine myself in space, like Dave Bowman running the hampster wheel in 2001, that song playing in the background. There is quiet humming and I realize it's coming from me. Then I'm shaking my head in time with the beat and those precious voices. The voice of a sentient computer in the background, soft and low, singing basso to round out the high pierced pitch from the Bernard and friend. There is a wide smile on my face.

The Ecumenical Movement is a great tune. It's a nice fuck you to all those inferior religions like Buddhism, Hinduism and Catholicism. Hah, they are just like the devil. I knew it! I'm glad that those girls are going to heaven, fuck knows I'm not and the last thing I want after I'm dead is eternity anywhere near them.

After reading the story of Moja, her remarkable abilities, and the apparent intelligence of her and her cohorts, this whole thing is no longer laughable. It's infuriating.

Let me rot in the earth. Let me shovel coal in the flames, alongside Moja. But if this kind of ignorance and intolerance is what He's selling, I ain't buying.

hey! how you change your comment, sneaky man?

I can change yours too, little man. So watch it! --jp

jpoulos knows magic.

Dios mio!

He's not the only one
MWAH HA HA HA -tj

Too many admins on this site, time to clean house - eyeballkid

sorry about that... I couldn't resist.

happiness is a high quality monkey-related overly-earnest song of praise! thanks jpoulos

What's the old saying about chiefs and indians? Or is it monkeys, for that matter?

Um....gypsies, tramps and thieves?

Hey that song was number one on the day that I was born!

There's some site that tells you that pointless info. If i had even the barest hint of motivation I would google it.

I don't.

Number one song the day I was born? "Let's Get it On"

Awwww, Baby.

What they really meant was "surely we can do better than this?!?!"

sorry.

The U.S. No.1 on the 22nd October 1972 was... My Ding-a-Ling by Chuck Berry.

heh.

the U.S. No.1 on the 18th December 1970 was... The Tears of a Clown by Smokey Robinson and the Miracles

the U.K. No.1 on the 18th December 1970 was... I Hear You Knockin' by Dave Edmunds

Bleah. "Will you Love me Tomorrow" by the Shirelles.

The U.K. had it better - "Are you Lonesome Tonight" by Elvis.

Tomorrow, tonight - who knows.

I don't know what my song is, but I do know that abortion was legalized suspiciously near the time of my birth.

the U.S. No.1 on the 18th October 1967 was... The Letter by
The Box Tops

the U.K. No.1 on the 18th October 1967 was... Massachusetts by
The Bee Gees

I'm going out to the yard and shoot myself.

if you aim the right way, you might be able to spray some brain matter towards massachusetts.

Can I get the monkey song? I have half of the song on a tape from years ago. It came on the radio, and I had to run 2 red lights and almost hit a kid to get to my destination more quickly so that I could record it. I would be totally stoked if I could get this song!

Check your email.

That was so cool. Almost Eastwoodish in its perfection, or even - dare I say it -

Arnoldian.

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