9622.net

That band name is *so* related.

And actually, I was trying just this morning to come up with a way to diaper my dog. See, he's getting very old and, um, incontinent. I'm a very sad lupo. :-(

Also, an acquaintance of mine had a very nasty habit of wetting the bed when he'd had too much to drink. When you heard his girlfriend scream in the middle of the night, you knew what was happening. Can we get a diaper for him?

Am I sharing too much?

You can see in this picture that Sammy is becoming a little agitated with the diaperer.

...

Here you see Sammy rising up against her oppressor, beating the diaperer's head against the bars again and again and again.

...

This picture is one of my favorites: Sammy's holding up the diaperer's head, which is by now just a mess of blood and hair, and shrieking her death-song.

Oh and sorry about your dog, jpoulos.

This may help.

The video is definitely worth a look at the very least.

no, go on john.

i knew someone who dated a guy who would wet the bed when he was drunk. what i don't understand is why this would happen more than one time. isn't lying in bed of urine enough to make you break up with someone? but maybe that's just me and my "commitment problems."

* Jan 1999 - August 2000 | Webmaster, Virtuatech Industries

* August 15, 2000 - August 17, 2000 | Monkey Diaperer (Contract)

* August 2000 - Present | Patient, Helping House Head Inury Wellness Center

"Also, an acquaintance of mine had a very nasty habit of wetting the bed when he'd had too much to drink. When you heard his girlfriend scream in the middle of the night, you knew what was happening. Can we get a diaper for him?"

Depends.

Well, y'know witchstone, some people dig that sort of thing.

...or so I've read.

I think these bed-peein guys are lying. They're just too damn lazy to get up out of bed and make it to the pot. Plus, they get to pee on someone else! And they get to get drunk! What a deal!

They're probably the same kids who "heated" the public pool when we were kids.

The poor dog in the video! They weren't fooling him. He knew he was still carryin' it with him.

Eeeewwww....Doggg dooooo...i'm gonna put it oooonnnn you.....

if that video turned me on, does that make it pornography?

If it appeals to your pruriant interest.

*gloats that I could finally use that word in a sentence, proving once and for all that English majors are losers*

If you want your monkey to be truly fashionable, head to monkeyzone.com for these attractive monkey diaper covers:

PruriEnt.

Sorry, adam.

In a previous life, I once tinkled all over my girlfriend at the time while in a completely passed out state. Without gaining consciousness, I kneeled on the edge of the bed and just let loose what ended up seeming to be about a liter of piss. She eventually returned the favor.

This chronic inability to distinguish between ants and Ents could cause you no end of trouble in both entomology and geekery, Adama.

I'm not sure how I feel about that video. Totally related.
I laughed, I cried, I pooped in my pants.

*weeps*

But ants do seem to crawl on Ents, no?

More proof that English majors are, yes indeed...

ho, hum...a hasty folk...

I had three children in 2 1/2 years.

I will be DARNED if I would diaper a MONKEY.

I darn thee!

craptacular!

Once, when asked with great expectation and need by a girlfriend how I felt about her, I decided the best way to get my level of desire and lust across would be with the phrase "I would eat the shit from your diapers."

Yes.
Loooove.. exiting and new.....

Oh, and yes. the geriatric ward is a great place to meet chicks, and thank you for asking.

so what happened, dong? did she toss down her diaper before you and demand you make good on your pledge?

don't leave us hanging like that, sheesh.

No, she just pressed the "call security" button again. Made up some junk about how she'd never seen me before.

Invalids. They think they're people.

If they're just going to lay there all day, how is it my fault if I get the wrong message?

All cute and bedsorsey.
They're succubi of the worst kind.

Oh, and speaking of diapering monkeys, here is some fodder for any mixmasters out there. Oui, oui, pou-pou?

We have friends in the country who have a foul-smelling sawdusty compost commode. They're so into humanure and have come to depend on it so, they keep asking their guests, like soliciting pimps, if we're sure we don't want to take a little dumperino. Basically, they're in it for the poo.

They sell or exchange the humanure they can't use, as it's apparently a better fertilizer than the classic cow's poop. They also maintain that one day collecting and paying for poor countries' poop will help balance their economies.

So perhaps soon, as with the gourmet coffee beans, we'll have a world market in humanure, with certain varieties(say "rich, corn-fed vegetarian Midwestern")being more expensive than others.

*makes a note to research market value of monkey poo and how to eventually start used-diaper-collection*

Sorry, didn't mean to change the subject. Reminds me of the old joke about the hag that "picked her scabs and let the puss run". How did that go again?

Probably best that you did, aw.
An old whore, who was all the poor sailor could afford, if memory serves.

Wasn't there another one about a bus driver asking "Hey, lady, how far do you think you're going to get on a scab?"

Bad punchline to type just before going to lunch.

*urp*

I'm here to tell you there is a definite correlation between coffee and humanure. Sometimes just smelling coffee is enough for me.

Don't nobody go in there for 40-45 minutes.

wait, i thought portugal WAS a third world country!

Having a shot in the dark doesn't help much either, Kaf.

Oh Nugget, how could the country that gave new worlds to the world be third world.
*cries*

me desculpa, miguel.

Portugal is a real country? I thought Migs was just making that shit up. You mean there are people that don't live in America? God, that's so sad.

I made an espresso with that "water joe" caffeinated water once.

Felt like a Klan rally in my intestines.

Obrigado, Pepita*! :)

*Pepita is "nugget" in Portuguese, as in "gold nugget"="pepita de ouro".

I thought "Portugal" was the dirty bit of Rhode Island.
I'm so sorry, Miguel.
You don't, like, sit around all day in the sun with files crawling all over your hunger-distended belly, do you? You'd be okay if you'd just eat the cows, you know, they're not really sacred.

Did you get any money from that Bob Geldof thing?

my little brother used to be really really skinny and we used to make him stick out his stomach and play ethiopian boy.

he thought it was funny until the day we made him eat feces.*

ah, those were the days.

Props to yhbc for adding to unruly boner's infamy at the grey...

Wait, there can't be a "Portugal." Miguel is on the internet. The Internet is in America. I knew he was trying to fool us.

But, if I'm wrong, I'd go with dong and eat the cows. (in no other universe but 9622 would that statement make any sense.)

"Girl, you KNOW it's true!"

*plays ethiopian boy in the witchstonian manner*

I'm looking for some of that sweet Geldof cash. The Royal Tenenbaums is out on DVD.

Oh the Geldof goldmine closed long ago. These days I just print out one of our threads here and go beg the American tourists outside the Four Seasons: "Look! Me American friends mucho mucho. Me Interneto, no problema. Me buddy Mr. Dong Resin - see here he say my name. He teach me post images. He say me ask you dollar, you give, you good people. Me big friend all these guys, Mr. Eyeball he send me compact disc, you know? Me hungry, please pay me I go away..."

Ah, thanks for the call-out, First-man*. I knew somebody had to be watching.

* - "Adam", get it? Too obtuse? Not funny? What? What?!?

Oh, sorry to interrupt. Go about your groveling.

* flips the old boy a peseta *

Oh Nugget, how could the country that gave bew worlds to the world be third world.

*looks around, confused, scratches diaper*

You talkin' to me?

Don't take it personal, Nugget.
It's the dengue fever and herpes and ass rot they get in Portugal, with the tsetse flies and those remora things in the drinking water and shit.

Them 3rd world non-American places are hard.

Please, it's "developing nation," you retard.

I prefer the term "Sam Donaldsonesque" to "retard."

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