9622.net

Hmm... 53% gay. Smack dab in the middle - I never realized I was so... average.

I'm more than a quarter gay (26%) but still the invisible oracle advises me to "loosen up, my straight mate. These days women like a man with some softer edges to grab ontoE."

OntoE!

33%??? Even though I cut my hair only when laughed at?

33%? but but i'm bisexual! the test LIES!

does anyone want to teach me how to change the oil in a car?

So P-Lo, Adam and me don't even add up to a complete man or woman? How pathetic! ;)

God, I thought I was average, but now that I'm seeing all your results, I feel like Big Gay Al.

63% gay. Helllllllo, sailor.

Great. Now I'm feeling like some redneck truck driver.

I am only 16% gay. I am a walking, talking, red-blooded hetero, mate.

Mate?

53% gay, same as scribblative. Just because I own a pair of leather pants? Sheesh.

I'm super, thanks for asking!

40%...I love the question about good drivers making good lovers.

anathema, you and i should, uh, get together (unless you're a man. um.)

i too am 40% gay, and like miguel, I was given advice so that I might be more easily grabbed "ontoÉ".

Montreal is one of my favorite cities and its only a few hours away and we have been talking about going up there for a while now...I'm not sure if I'm ready to ditch my fiancee at the border for you yet though. How about some pictures. The OED pass is definetely in your favor. Wait, are you actually French Canadian? Do you or any member of your family have plastic butterflies on the side of a lime-green house?

I am neither French-Canadian nor butterfly-bearing, and the world's best bagels are available four blocks from my house.

The fiancee is a bit of a turn-off, though. Ditto for the misspelling of "definitely".

"Summer is 43% gay!" - that took me back to my schooldays for a second.

Alternate questions for the test:

Have you ever referred to another man as:
a. Mary
b. Nancy
c. Sally
d. Mommy

Define the following words:
a. Tea Bagging
b. Fluffer
c. Bottom
d. Bear

Give me a brake marke.

*is given*

I'm 53% gay - which, I think is about right.

I chickened out in the middle of the test-those of you who have taken it will understand.

But you also know WHAT I am so it was (irrevelant? irreverent?) anyway.

36% gay. they just don't know that i'm a lipstick lesbian.

Ah, but we know. And that's half the battle.

Jon is 16% gay

Oh, yeaaahhhh!

*beats chest, scratches ass, checks out babes, spits on floor*

Now I feel like a real lesbian. But where can I find one?

26% here.

I have no clever comment to add.

My left kneecap is gay, which causes me no end of embarrassment, what with its swanning about and attempts to influence decorating decision.

EBK is 23% gay! Man he's hot. I wonder during which 23% of the day I can get some of that!

26% here.

I have no clever comment to add.

Posted by: Crash on August 7, 2002 12:22 PM

You would if you were gay, sister.

36%, bizzatches.

I take pride (pun intended) that I am gayer than p'Lo. I'm not sure why.

um, because she's gay.

things i love about being gay:
-being able to say "wow, man. that shit is seriously gay." without getting a lecture on my heterosexism.
-hanging out with gay men.
-knowing in my heart that i am gayer than jpoulos, no matter what the numbers say.

Uh, am I the only straight female on this board?

jus' wonderin'...

don't define myself here.

i'm a lesbian trapped in a straight man's body.

I'm a trapped in a man body's straight lesbian.

babelfish or TCS, you be the judge.

53%. Right where I would put myself, happily aspiring to being a drag queen, despite the fact that I'm a chick and married. I can't change oil, but I'm purely low maintenance with the hairdo. Pro-beer, anti-sports.

On second thought, maybe 53% gay, or 100% confused.

Posted by: readymade on August 7, 2002 04:51 PM

While we are on the topic, why are straight people called "straight" anyway?

not married - forever wishing i was gay. i even came out to my mother once, and she told me not to be ridiculous. WHY AM I NOT GAY is pretty much the story of my life.

I got 50% gay...happy and healthy hetero babe, so they say. ;) I know *how* to change the oil in my car...but I'm way more likely to pay someone else to do it.

Go: came out to my mother once...

Hysterical. I bet your mom and my mom would have such a nice time over coffee. :) She sounds like a hoot.

Straight....as in "not bent"..."straight and narrow, not veering off to the side of hellfire and eternal damnation where you will be poked with pointy sticks forever and ever, and there will be wailing and gnashing of teeth."

"What if you don't have teeth?"

"Teeth will be provided."

Don't forget the worms.

To change the subject, have any of you seen "Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood"?
I went with about 10 other gals yesterday (parrr-tay!). Ultimate chick flick.

Why I went from sexual preference to this I will never know. Just blame it on my "condition that dare not speak its name".

Forget that - I want coffee with you. Where are you anyway? Are you going to crash cold chef's wedding with us?

Things I like about being het:

-less arduous personal grooming
-ability to belch and fart publicly
-freedom to walk around publicly while displaying total lack of fashion sense.

The unwritten law of 9622 states that you shall never utter the words "Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood".

May The Lord have mercy on your soul.

*fears another gratuitous self-flannel-link from jonmc*

yeah - that was probably not necessary...

I notice I am the only one that gets called out on these "unwritten laws". Where is my evil twin when I need him?

It disturbs me to note that a certain online support group I frequent is so much more normal than this place. *delicate shudder*

*fears another gratuitous self-flannel-link from jonmc*

Face Your Fears, Kaf. IThere's a monkey to soften the blow at least.

Une Chemise Flannel Avec Les Canards

And a Silly-Monkey flannel shirt wearing doll!

Your flannel child

That's creepy, K.

I was Googling "flannel monkey" just this morning and found that picture.

No, mom! I was just googling my flannel monkey! Honest!

Meanwhile, in today's Popbitch:

"Bonobos are pygmy chimpanzees who shag anything. Lesbian bonobos are into genito-genital frotting. One female faces the other and clings with arms and legs to her. The first monkey, standing on both hands and feet, lifts her friend off the ground. The two females then rub their genitals laterally together, emitting grins and squeals that reflect orgasmic experiences.

Gay male bonobos practice Penis-Fencing: two males hang face to face from a branch while rubbing their erect penises together. They also like standing back-to-back, with one male rubbing his scrotum against the buttocks of another."

More wanky bonobo fun:
http://www.songweaver.com/info/bonobos.html
Photo:

Penis-fencing?

En garde!

*waves penis around like an épeé*

Hmm. Someone could put an eye out.

*sheaths épeé*

I think that's Ape-ée

Oh touché!

26%. Same as Miguel. Hmmm........

Same time, same place, Kevin? I'll bring the feather boas! ;)

16% - I am a raging heterosexual

but I don't even wear flannels....

That's the same score as me TJ?

*gives tj the once over*

you fill out those Levi's nicely, you know?

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