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You are my clone, my stalker, my friend, John, but I cannot share your love for Starbucks.

I give it the the prehensile tails down.

And why do you have a picture of that Harry Potter kid?

That's my stepson-type-person. Isn't the resemblance uncanny? That was actually his Harry Potter halloween costume. He basically just put a cape on and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.

16 oz. of overpriced liquid shit in a cup.

Starbucks is a perverted culinary sin of the devil, I say. The Devil!

I gotta say that for all their corporate grossness, Starbucks does make a decent espresso.

I get coffee via mail as a gift from aw from Veritas, and I got a free french press and storage container with a year subscrption. Pretty damned good.

I like to make the coffee and stick it in the fridge, bringing it to work in an insulated sports bottle. The rate at which the caffeine is ingested into my bloodstream is increased by my ability to pound this concoction back with a rapidity impossible to attain when merely slurping hot coffee.

Courtesy of my years slingin joe, I can make a mean Iced Coffee... just make sure when you make it, you make the coffee twice as strong as usual, and pour it directly over ice...it'll dilute into the correct strength.

why can't i just get a caffeine drip?

Wait wait wait a minute.

You have a stepson?

What is that?

I'm pretty sure it's when you're married to someone who has a son, Brittney, but that's not important right now.

i'm a candy coffee drinker. which means i am a sucker for the caramel frappachino. in fact, i'll eat pretty much anything with caramel involved. but these days i prefer the iced chai latte. the best kind is oregon chai, but it's hard to find in places. starbucks' is pretty good. they are overpriced, agreed.

okay, remember that Life commercial from when we (well, some of us) were kids and the kids wanted Mikey to try the cereal and one of the boys says "He won't eat it, he hates everything!" well: have you noticed that people have bastardized it to the point where they say "Give it to Mikey, he'll eat anything!" and think they are quoting the commercial, when in reality the sentiment of an indiscriminate palate is actually the complete opposite of the meaning of the original commercial.

perhaps i am annoyed by silly things. and it really is minor in the grand scheme of things. i've just noticed a disturbing trend.

Heh, I meant the mud-colored beverage on ice.

shirley you jest!

I will be happy to refute your claim, Adam, with a pack of Lavazza cafe and a stovetop percolator.

I still shudder at the memory of what Starbucks considered to be a cafè macchiato. I'm still in therapy from that experience...

Kafka, ever had a cafè corretto during the joe slinging years?

He's a sort of stepson. He's my ex-girlfriend's son. I came along when he was two. Now he's nine, and I still see him every week. I'm not his dad, I'm his john. Being a John is somewhere in between Parent and Best Buddy: I get to make him clean his room, but I also get to help him mess it up. Ain't he a cutie?

That, my dear Brittney, is an iced half-caf venti americano with just a tiny bit of whole milk.

Starbucks is a perverted culinary sin of the devil, I say. The Devil!

I think you give Starbucks too much credit. Starbucks isn't the problem -- consumers are the problem. There should be only two considerations -- taste and price (actually, possibly four, if you include presentation and/or convenience). If Starbucks makes the grade on those axes, more power to you. But if your decision-making process is influenced by stupid things, like what is "cool," that's not Starbucks' fault. Personally, my own calculation makes Starbucks espresso and mocha frappucino viable options for me when in a pinch. Sure, I wish they charged less, but sometimes it's worth it.

Yeah, the macchiato thing varies so much. Same with cappuccino. "Macchiato" means "stained", right? So it should be just lightly stained with foam, no? And I always made cappuccino with 1/3 espresso, 1/3 steamed milk, 1/3 foam. Then, at other places, I've seen it mostly foam, or with as much liquid milk as a latte.

But no, I've never tried a cafè corretto.

John, does he get "I see dead people" a lot?

The nice thing about my little town is we have quite a few independent coffeehouses (with better hours than starbucks-ours is located in Barnes & Nobles of all places).

Speaking of "english majors are losers" today is the last day of my job. I don't know whether to cheer or worry.

I think I'll cheer.

(see, boys and girls-that's what happens when you choose English over accounting...)

Hyperbole aside, Starbucks took the Italian institution of bars and made it a supersize to-go. Which wouldn't be a bad thing if, as you said, quality and price were maintained. (uh, here bars are what might be termed 'cafe' in the US and pubs are where you go to get sloshed.) Just out of curiosity, how much do you pay for a cappucino?

A barrista's job here is an art form. The bar downstairs from my flat is a sight to behold in the mornings: about 20 people crowded around the bar, with one guy slinging the coffee and the other guy setting up the saucers and spoons. If the bar has a crappy barista who burns the coffee, the bar doesn't get much business.

I could wax poetic all day about cafè and the simple art of a perfect cup, and if my f@*&ing web host ever gets their service back up, I will.

A cafè corretto is a 'corrected cafe'(espresso), generally corrected with grappa or amaro, but also other liquors. Sort of like an Irish coffee, but more espresso, and no whipped cream. Drunk after dinner or early in the morning by old wisened men wearing those flat caps.

I also like to order Kona from Dragon's Lair Estate. A little more pricey, but damn fine.

While I'm sure the coffee bars are galaxies better in Rome, you can't fault an American coffee franchise for not being a small Italian shop. I don't belong to the Church of Starbucks--I don't like what they've done to the little guy, for example, and I don't delude myself that it's even the best coffee available. But when you consider that before a Starbucks opened near me--which was only a year or so ago--the best coffee around was Dunkin' Frickin' Donuts, I get on my knees every morning in gratitude.

That's true, Lupo. I didn't mean to come off as a coffee snob, I just don't care for their coffee.

I would go without caffiene before I would lower myself to touch duncan doughnuts coffee.

Did you know that Waffle House grinds their coffee beans in house now?

An update:

The scary thing is that people around here swear by the swill that they serve at Dunkin Donuts, or even (I'm totally serious) McDonald's. Even if you don't have a taste for espresso, Starbucks Lite Note and similar blends are so much better than that.

Does Krispy Kreme serve a decent cup of coffee? We don't have any around here.

God, I need to get out of the sub-suburbs.

jpoulos, you're a darn nice guy. Seriously.

Yum, Lavazza Crema Gusto. That's my favourite. I had a Starbucks macchiato the other day and it was quite nice. I don't usually go to Starbucks as it's hideously over-priced but they had a garden and the sun was shining.

I could always go down the street and do some field research for you, jp.

i need to cheer myself up with a donut anyway.

I could always go down the street and do some field research for you, jp.

i need to cheer myself up with a donut anyway.

I have had to resort to D&D lately, but have about a week off of it now that I can't go anywhere for lunch (mandatory overtime). I hate it, but it has sucked me in a little, because of the damned convenience of it being on my way back to work from home. They even know what I want when I go in. Help!

hey, the website burped-first time I posted that message some weird error message popped up.

I used to drink coffee. Now I don't any more.

Thank you for your time.

Funny you should mention Dunkin' Donuts (for which I have a fondness from my childhood years): they (or maybe more aptly the franchise owner) went bankrupt in less than a year here.

I don't fault a large franchise for not being a mom and pop operation, just the idea that quanitity is better value than quality. Be it 16 oz. of coffee, super sizing a menu item, or huge portions at a restaraunt. It's a me thing, and admittedly one of the resaons why I live here. :-D

Now, has anyone had Turkish coffee? Yum. Just don't drink the dregs...

The scary thing is that people around here swear by the swill that they serve at Dunkin Donuts, or even (I'm totally serious) McDonald's.

John, do you live near me? I have heard the exact same thing over and over (including from members of my family). It boggles my mind. I guess it's the herd mentality at work. And while there are no Krispy Kreme stores near me, there was one in Las Vegas, and it's coffee was passable (better than McDonald's or DD, imho).

it's its

I love Turkish coffee, and Armenian...and Greek...all the incarnations.

And I would like second the fact that Lupo is indeed a peach of a guy.

They even know what I want when I go in. Help!

The British equivalent of this is the kebab shop knowing you well enough to give you a calendar at christmas.

I love Turkish and Greek coffee as well. And Spanish. It's the muddiness.

I would gladly kill to be able to get a real Doner Kebab in this stinking country.

Turkish coffee is awesome, ground like flour, and in that little Turkish coffee pot jammie? First time I had some, I had delusions of being Sonic the Hedgehog. Vroom!

Turkish (arabic?) coffee was my salvation from Nescafe in Egypt. So was cardimom (sp) tea, but it didn't have the same caffine punch as the coffee. As Summer said, the muddiness is what makes it so rich.

I hear Hardee's has really good coffee.

In, the words, of Scott, Dr. Evil's son, no Jpoulus Powers, that not a coffe shake, But Dr Evil's monkee poo, O' forget it I see you liked it. (with a finger to one side of my mouth)
For one million poo dollars, would you like another?

he returns!

Yesterday I had a crackaccino (3x espresso, chocolate, frothed milk) from my local coffee shop then did all my laundry, detailed the stove and lined the drawers of my dresser.

No shit.

The Mocha Valencia at Starbucks goes through me like Draino.

In a good, clean out the system, way.

Mocha Valencia: Tough on those stubborn clogs.

For you coffee snobs out there, Torrefazione is one step away from the heavenly coffee in Roma that romakimmy keeps fondling. They used to be even better: they were run by imported Italians, but now that the franchise has taken off, apparently they can't afford to empty Italy of its barristas anymore.

Rumor has it that the people who originally started Torrefazione left and opened a new roasteria, Cafe Umbria (a fallout with corporate? They were bought by somebody they hated?) which is supposed to be as good as the Torrefazione heyday.

And if your in Portland, Stumptown is pretty damn good too.

Posted by: readymade on August 14, 2002 03:12 PM

Yea, "you're"="your". Sue me.

Posted by: readymade on August 14, 2002 03:22 PM

Consider yourself sued, thunderslut.

crackaccino (3x espresso, chocolate, frothed milk)

o. m. G!!!!

Er, that sounds quite nice.

I would gladly kill to be able to get a real Doner Kebab in this stinking country.

I live in takeway heaven. From my window I can see the Wimbledon Kebab House (lovely chicken doner), the Balti Raj (best takeaway curry I've ever had) and Happiness Chinese Takeaway (quite average acutally). Yes, I live in a really classy street.

I'm a thunderslut? I always wanted to be a thunderslut! Thank you, brittney!

As for the lawsuit, can we settle out of court?

Posted by: readymade on August 14, 2002 03:38 PM

"Fondle your coffee, molest your limoncello"

Thanks readymade, I have a new motto now. :)

Maybe I'm a lowbrow rube, but every Denny's I've ever been in has damn fine straight black coffee. And they don't serve it to you fresh from the blast furnace, either - you can drink it right away, which is important at Denny's.

Otherwise, I get my double espressos from my boss's espresso machine in her office.

The Bushmill's goes in when I get back to my desk.

IHOP don't fuck around. You order a cup, they bring you a pitcher.

Confession - when it comes to coffee I like diner the best. I can't drink the other kind of coffee, even though I've tried. I like the pitchers; I like the free refills; I like the outfits!

Lupo for 9622ette of the day!

In case anyone is confused I'm reappropriating 'ette'

goneill. Remember the good times?

cold chef - i'm listening to this song that you might have heard, called, "What Would Willy Do" I miss those days, Whatever happened to 'us'? There are too many thundersluts to compete. Can't we return the boyzone quality - where I was unique?

Why did I chase everyone away?

It's your eyes. They frighten me.

Hey, whatever happened with you and that mloser mlang?*

*I kid because I love.

brittany, you detailed the stove, what wax did you use, easy off. Want to do mine, I love to cook, just detailing my stove sound boring.....
as my stove is a plain jane, does yours have white walls, or chrome rims.....

Do I hear the bells of romance ringing?

icecream man! icecream man!

mlang and I parted ways on the near best of terms, due to my youthful indiscretions and his trench-coat and glasses routine. (it was a little soft shoe...).

They say the eyes are the windows to the soul...

I was thinking goneill and tcs...

*runs*

There are too many thundersluts to compete. Can't we return the boyzone quality - where I was unique?

bitch, if you can't take the heat, step the fuck OFF. it's tough being a thunderslut. finding the right joke to make - i.e. fulfilling both the expectations of "being funny" and "talking about ourselves naked" - can be hard. but without competition, where would we be? the standards have been raised, my friend. no longer will a simple "who wants a blowjob?" suffice! i know, sweetie, i long for those salad days of lemonade, badminton, and slavering men just as much as your next thunderslut, but this is a Golden Age!

so work it, girl. allow the spirit of competition to inspire you to new heights of creativity. remember, nothing turns men off more than girlie-turf wars*!

(* unless those turf wars take place in such locations as "tub of jello", "tub of pudding", or even the exotic "on the bed in our panties using only pillows as weapons")

i *heart* p-lo

She makes my Venti Joe(second today, I'm lagging) shoot out of my nose.

best comment EVER!

Lupo for 9622ette of the day!

*blushes*

no longer will a simple "who wants a blowjob?" suffice!

bwahahahaha!

p-lo drives the van.

Oh, and a duck walked into a bar and I got naked.

I'm way to hot and busy to read the whole thing, but didn't the whole ice coffee thing come up a few months ago? Lupo said the reason iced didn't seem to give me the kick of hot was because of the dilution factor. Do I actually have to say to you people that I would never use regular ice cubes? I use COFFEE CUBES kids! I devote about a half hour a day making sure I will have sufficient supplies for the following day. Okay, here's something interesting...when you make coffee cubes somehow the potent coffee oils rise to the surface of the ice. Pick a few cubes up with your hand and then lick your fingers, what you have is this super 100x coffee concentrate. Fuck yes. I'm a coffee snob, only order my shit through Equal Exchange, not because it's PC but because it's really really good coffee. Is it obvious that it's still 90 degrees here at 10PM?

And I can't count on me filling them up when empty.

Oh, and as jonmc could attest, if he ever dragged his ass over here, P-Lo drives the Short Bus of Justice.

I'm so square. What the hell is "the short bus to justice?"

Posted by: readymade on August 14, 2002 11:31 PM

jon was trying to explain the short bus of justice to me one night. does it need a logo (with a big thundersluts ad on the side?)

Yeah, sorry for the inside joke. The Short Bus of Justice came about during a chat session with me, jon, P-Lo, and others (UncleFes was there, I believe). The Short Bus of Justice was a group of "challenged" superheroes who traveled in one of those small buses the special needs kids take to school. (There was nothing mean-spirited about it. We meant it in good humor.) Jon joked he was gonna make a comic book based around the idea.

Personally, I'd love to see something come of it. Run with it, my boy!

If there was ever a group of superheroes in a short bus, the bus would have to look like this:

On the topic of coffee, I must brag that I got a brand new saeco espresso maestro on ebay for 40 bucks, use preground(!) espresso, and goddamn, if'n I don't get absolutely kickass, 1/3 inch thick crema-topped epresso shots every damn time.

Kicks the hell out of Starbucks and the local "coffee" shop's swill.
I ♥ my lil' electroblock!

Sometimes literally, which makes clean up a bitch.

See, what's significant about the above statement is, using an electroblock style of machine and preground epsresso is supposed to produce shitty results, yet, somehow, beyond reason, I'm getting wonderful coffee.

I'm quite a little writer, aren't I?
Thank you.

What's a thunderslut?

"What's a thunderslut?"
A question a child may ask, but not a childish question. Any thundersluts want to field this one?

a thunderslut is any woman who knows that she holds all the secrets and power of the universe in her vagina. if she can shoot out a thunderbolt or two, that's extra credit.

where's the original thunderslut thread? i can't remember.

if she can shoot out a thunderbolt or two, that's extra credit.

I'm handy with a lighter after a night of Mexican food. Does that count for anything?

I don't think I'm one of those. More like a persistent-drizzle monogamist. That's not very poetic though.

mmmmm....fajitas.....

mmmmm....vaginas.....

Mmmmm ... fajitas plus vaginas ... no no no stop.

to the tune of Escape (the Pina Colada Song):

If you like fajita vaginas
Gettin' caught in the rain

Yeah, I don't want to go on either. But trust me, it's going to be stuck in your head now.

Damn you, witchstone.

I know not this Pina Colada song of which you speak. ha-ha. :-P

argh! hoist by my own petard! i'd forgotten about it until i read it again.

The original "Thurdersluts" threads are:

685
697
and
699 (the logo thread)

That's like gross, and stuff. Fajitas are filled with cheese.

Get that image out of your head now.

An acquaintance of mine is the roaster for Torrefazione (in the US.) I always get awesome coffee from him whenever I visit.

Nice to see you gen, just checked out some of your info and I must recommend two records to you.
Luomo-Vocal City
Akufen-My Way
both on Force Tracks

why can't I just get a caffeine drip?

I like a ristretto, but only if you can get a good one.

To serve a true ristretto shot (.75 oz of liquid in 25 seconds)...

*has heart-attack just thinking about it*

*dies*

Thanks anathema- I'm not sure that I own anything on Force Tracks so I'm curious.

iwant to know what is the Starbuck(ihave a work of one page about it could you help me please:coffee wars.) Thanks.

iwant to know what is the Starbuck(ihave a work of one page about it could you help me please:coffee wars.) Thanks.

iwant to know what is the Starbuck(ihave a work of one page about it could you help me please:coffee wars.) Thanks.

iwant to know what is the Starbuck(ihave a work of one page about it could you help me please:coffee wars.) Thanks.

You should lay off the coffee, it's making you repeat yourself

i would like to know what is the Starbuck exactly (i am a french student and i have a work about it) .Thanks for ansering me.

i would like to know what is the Starbuck exactly (i am a french student and i have a work about it) .Thanks for ansering me.

could you help me please:coffee wars

Well, since you asked six times:

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away...

COFFEE WARS

It is a period of civil war. Local coffee houses, striking from a hidden base, have won their first victory against the evil Starbucks.

During the battle, local spies managed to steal the secret recipe to Starbucks' ultimate weapon, the iced half-caf venti americano, a caffeinated beverage with enough power to destroy an entire planet.

Pursued by Starbuck's sinister agents, Princess Romakimmy races home aboard her cute little Italian motor scooter, custodian of the stolen recipe that can save her people and restore good taste to the galaxy...

I think the real question on debora's mind is "how can I change the radio stations on GTA3?"

I think we all know who can help.

Actually, I happen to think that the definitive answer to that question was submitted by our very own eyeballkid.

Starbuck's est une très, très gros vache, qui mange les têtes des enfants jeunes. C'est terrible!

Sacre bleu!

Savoir faire is, indeed, everywhere.

No it isn't.

oh.

Merci, mon cher

No more rhymes now, I mean it!

Au revoire PeeWee!

Anybody want a peanut?

*puts le hands on les walls of le invisible box*

The homework thing again?

All the kids of today recognize us as upstanding and inspirational leaders, and want to learn at our knees.

Or learn at our dragging knuckles.

just as long as we don't insult punk, man.

Someone should tell them punk really is dead this time. I don't care what the Exploited said.

Dead? But Avril is so young!

Dead? But Avril is so young!

(Well, she is.)

Dead? But Avril is so young.

*rolls eyes*

Dead? But Avril is so young.

someone nudge brittney. she's skipping.

What the?

Me no good at using typing-machine box.

punks not dead - your just old.
(sorry, i'm obliged...)

Yeah, for something to be dead, it had to have been alive in the first place.

like metal?

Exactly. Bingo.

long live the math rock.

or the prog core.

or whatever the cool kids are calling it these days.

(and I'll take Ian MacKay and Keith Morris over Joe Elliot and Mark Slaughter any day!)

I'm a big fan of death-ska-rave myself.

I prefer punk-merengue-hop.

fusion - bossanova - rap

Dude, you have to check out the new C-Murder featuring Astrud Gilberto single "My Bizziyitch's Brew".

Or the new Piazolla-Brubeck-Wu Tang

I heard the DB Quartet and Wu-Tang got into a rumble during the recording session. Ol' Dirty Bastard almost got his ass kicked by Dave.

Let's Hear It For Polka!!!

...or not.

**Polkas alone in the moonlight**

I love coming home and finding revived threads like this. Weeks, months, years from now, we'll all need to still keep coming back to see what weirdness has befallen one or more of our old, dead threads.

Don't forget gay.

We love our dead gay threads!

anathema...i know what you look like with a shaved head...

we love our dead gay shaved threads

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