9622.net

I bet Karl Rove got an "A" on his book report of 1984. Orwell just keeps echoing throughout this administration.

I *really* need to start reading links, and not just looking at the pretty pictures, before commenting.

Heh. Make sure to look at the comments, too.

That reminds me, I had an excellent portion of red snapper today for lunch.

"I swear to god, man, her ass was this big..."

Bush always looks like he's very amused that he should have to be explaining this stuff. The leader of my own nation, Mr T Blair (who I have an unexplained attraction to), always looks like he really, really wants you to understand that he's doing it all for the best.

I loathe him and his simpering little smirk. I also despise how every speech sounds like an Oscar acceptance speech. To me, he sounds like he's continually amazed that he is allowed to be president at all.

Unless, you know, there's any CIA guys reading this. In that case, that last comment was ironic.

Now you all know how I felt when Clinton was president.

Yeah, it must have sucked having a good economy and low unemployment.

I've always felt that politicians would be much more cognizant of the needs and wishes of the body politic if more members of the body politic were trained snipers.

I can not wait for the day that he is out of office. I don't care who replaces him...

...how about his quote last night, "things are tough all over"?

How in the good sweet heaven would he know?

There is absolutely nothing that he has done that has been positive in any way, shape, or form for anyone since he took office, or before he took office, for that matter.

[/political debate]

Aw, c'mon Adampsyche - what about the good times? Remember, at that manufacturing plant with the robotic arm thingee, where he moved his arms out really far and said "I once caught a fish.. this big!" That was hilarious!

You know, I don't like the president, but I suddenly feel that we should obey him and fear him.

yeah, ok. that big blister he had on his face was pretty funny, too.

these pretzels are making me thirsty.

Hey! We may have had low unemployment and a strong economy when Clinton was president, but that doesn't change the fact that he got it on with an intern. He ruined this country. Bastard.

W. is a man of integrity. A man who knows how to start a war and not quite finish it. A man who has turned this economy right back to what it was in the 70s and erased all the "mistakes" of the previous administration. He's the kind of man who takes three month-long vacations in less than a year in office. He's just what this country needs!

I keep losing track of Italy's prime ministers

Seriously, I'm not sure which is the lesser of two evils, one super idiot in office for four years or a continuous booting of idiots from office.

ya know, i made that comment without even bothering to remember that a pretzel almost took him out. it was purely a seinfeld reference.

creepy!

by the way, i really like salt. when i get to the bottom of these pretzel sticks, i think i'll just spoon up the excess salt and eat it.

Also, when you're in a political argument, a funny thing to do is:

Every time the other person makes a statement, say, "Yes, but..." and then tell them exactly what they told you.

"President Bush is holding this country together."
"Yes, but...you have to remember that President Bush is holding this country together."
"[Stunned silence]"

W. is a man of integrity. A man who knows how to start a war and not quite finish it. A man who has turned this economy right back to what it was in the 70s and erased all the "mistakes" of the previous administration. He's the kind of man who takes three month-long vacations in less than a year in office. He's just what this country needs!

Are you kidding? I hope you're kidding. You're kidding, right? Wars are bad, you fucking idiot! And you think it's a good thing that he takes long vacations? More like a bad thing. Get your head out of your ass!

If Clinton had done his job (instead of making the Oval Office a laughingstock) perhaps 9/11 would never have happened. That day had more to do with our economy right now than you are giving it credit. It certainly affected our family directly.

Besides, anyone who honestly thinks that a president -no matter who-can take the lion's share of credit-or blame-for a given economy needs to borrow my
pills for awhile.

The truth is, no matter who the president is, poo will be thrown at him. Heck, I can remember when Nixon was the most hated man in America, when Carter was considered a bumbling fool, when Ford supposedly couldn't walk and chew gum at the same time....you think THIS economy stinks, you obviously don't remember the mid to late '70's.
Inflation was no joke back then, boys.

When, ahem, Ronald Reagan took office, inflation finally cooled down. At least I didn't have to watch my can of tuna cost more and more every week.

Okay, enough poo thrown for now.

ya know, i think that ebk may have been a bit tongue-in-cheeck if you will, but upon further consdiration, him taking a three-month vacation is not altogether such a bad thing.

There can never be enough poo thrown.

*fling*

If Clinton had done his job (instead of making the Oval Office a laughingstock) perhaps 9/11 would never have happened.

That was one of the most ill comments I have ever seen here. or anywhere else, for that matter.

let's just stop this now.

If Clinton had done his job (instead of making the Oval Office a laughingstock) perhaps 9/11 would never have happened.
Wait, this is sarcasm, right?

My new motto.

ColdChef:
Bringing politics to the zoo.

Eek. I just wrote this long anti-Bush-Reagan diatribe, and realized I was going to Dark Side. I need to eat a sandwich, read some trashy SciFi, and breathe.

Please no bad blood in the zoo (or pee in the pool).

Help me, O-monke-nobi, you're my only hope.

Posted by: readymade on August 14, 2002 04:20 PM

Reagan helped to turn this country into the steaming cesspool that it is now. Thanks to his legacy, the foreign policy of America has as much to do with human rights as the huge companies it services.

Democrats are fools and Republicans are villains.

If you ask me, the best president during my lifetime was Carter.

In other words,

Fuck it, dude. Let's go bowling.

Clarence Carter?

The other night I was strokin´ my woman
And it got so good to her, you know what she told me
Let me tell you what she told me, she said:
´Stroke it Clarence Carter, but don´t stroke so fast
If my stuff ain´t tight enough, you can stick it up my...´ WOO!

I be strokin´ Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
I be strokin´

ACK! Pop-up hell! Warn me next time Chef. :)

sorry.

Way to bring it back to the level of discourse I admire and adore, Chef. I commend you.

Posted by: readymade on August 14, 2002 04:26 PM

Say what you want about national socialism, dude, at least it's an ethos.

Shut the fuck up, Donnie.

The ultimate end of nihilism is silence. I choose belief instead. I surf lots of sites, and take the wafer thin-slices of people into my mouth, drink an occasional white Russian (rather than wine), and hope for the miracle.

Shut the fuck up, Donnie.
BTW, that's a movie quote. I don't really want someone to shut the fuck up.

Okay. Maybe myself.

Carter????!!!!!!!!!
*passes out in dead faint*
*revives long enough to call out for a cappuchino*
*faints again*

Nell Carter?

My President's breath smells like cat food.

But what does The Onion say?

Not Nell. Lynda Carter

Hey, careful, man, there's a beverage here!

All kidding aside, b*fire, what does "If Clinton had done his job (instead of making the Oval Office a laughingstock) perhaps 9/11 would never have happened" mean? Are you serious?

No, no, no. Read The Onion. Read The Onion.

*reads The Onion*

aaaah. Thank God.

Let's not turn this place into metapoo....

Which part? "Nation's Economic Recovery Hinging On Success Of Diet Vanilla Coke"?

This part.

Not to give such a horrendous statement any more attention thatn it deserves, but I knew quite a few people who said the exact same shit: that 9/11 would have never happened if Bush was not elected president. Let me put this nicely: anyone who used that event to further their political aspirations or put down the other party is an asshat.

I give up.
*dons asshat*

"Born to be wi-i-i-ild..."

Ah, yes. I thought the Onion in the last three weeks has been even better than usual.

*sprays adam with cold water while simultaneously forcefeeding him sausage biscuits*

You know, if Gore would have been elected, we wouldn't have all these roving gangs of skull-shirted monkeythugs.

*scratches head*
*still confused*
*gets ready to go to happy hour*
aaaah. Thank God.

Forced groomings are becoming rampant.

"Gore was elected, you asshat!"
Ha! I beat ya!

On the plus side, we have many more tire swings and monkeychow. So that's nice.

"Don't even try to tell me you've never wondered what Yoda's penis looks like."

Okay, to clear up what i meant here it is.

I have heard that Clinton had the opportunity to do something about Osama and various and sundry other terrorists-and didn't.
Okay, to be fair maybe that isn't true. But you can't tell me he could keep his full mind on the job while dallying with Monica-or facing the fallout after his peccadilloes were discovered.

I remember the day I discovered my peccadilloes. I played with them non-stop for about a month.

I have heard that Clinton had the opportunity to do something about Osama and various and sundry other terrorists-and didn't.
"Search for terrorists? Get a blowjob? Search for terrorists? Get a blowjob."

I think those big messages are placed there not for our benefit, but to remind GWB what he's supposed to be talking about in case he gets lost.

"I'll say it again. America is a great country. You know why? Because of people. People make it great. And, um..." *turns around* "...Corporate responsibility! That's what I'm talking about!"

You must have me confused with the clown who gives a damn.

dammit. She got me.

ColdChef: How dare you reach into the corners of my psyche and confront me with the truth! I DO think about Yoda's penis! All the time!

Great, now everyone knows.

*slips into reverie about Yoda's possibly- prodigious member.*

Posted by: readymade on August 14, 2002 05:04 PM

Speaking of blowjobs...

Like a Tauntaun I am hung, yesss?

Me and B****fire.

"Sure, Mr. High and Mighty Jedi Master. You can raise an x-wing fighter out of a swamp, but you can't raise that little thing?"

"Master Yoda. May I ask: If you're so powerful, why do you lean on that cane all the time?"

"Cane, it is not."

"Oh. I see."

I understand him, not the talk, the hand jive. I just saw him in Waco, Tx on C-span and my thought was to post this, yet you know my record. Like minded folks elsewhere, I see.
He was listening to this lady(you couldn't see her just hear a sweet polite granny voice) by his gestures you knew his thoughts. First he had a look of, "like I hear you mom for the 100th time. Then his hands said, "Ok lady your so sweet, but get your monkey ass off the stage as I have better things to do, like slinging some poo on you,*splat*

I can understand support for Reagan. I can muster up some good things about Bush senior. I can find the good in the Clinton administration. I speak from the standpoint of no political affiliation. W. is a joke of a man and a joke of a president. He is the frightening satire of a bad Saturday Night Live skit incarnate. He is the scariest situation I could ever imagine in that position.

"Pleasure me, you will."

"Okay, I'll try."

"Do or do not. There is no try."

"Listen, frog...you want some of this or not?"

"Sorry I am."

This thread is officially schizophrenic, alternating as it is between Yoda's penis and political debate.

In an effort to restore balance: "I couldn't agree more, ebk. Having George W. as President is about as scary as Yoda's penis!"

If Yoda's lightsaber prowess is any indication, I'm in awe of the master's penis.

CC, maybe bush needs one, BJ. You know the joke, how to loose a war with a woman, pull out your gun, lay down and have her blow, you up.........
Ps, cc, I want right now, as in a canadian whisky and coke

HOOKER: There's no way I can handle all of that.

YODA: So certain are you. Always with you it cannot be done. Hear you nothing that I say?

Hooker looks uncertainly out at Yoda.

HOOKER: Master, moving stones around is one thing. This is totally different.

YODA: No! No different! Only different in your mind. You must unlearn what you have
learned.

HOOKER: Yeah, I'm learning why you muhfuckers live so long. How much blood you got in that thing?

How does TJ Hooker fit into this?

YODA IN A BAR: Ya know, three times already I have had sex today.

UNIMPRESSED WOMAN: Really? How interesting.

YODA IN A BAR: May the fourth be with you?

UNIMPRESSED WOMAN: Does that line ever work?

I dunno where TJ Hooker fits in, but a Google search of Shatner turned this up.

Posted by: readymade on August 14, 2002 06:01 PM

Shatner blamed it on Nimoy

Typical.

*smacks ColdChef*

Puns you will not make, mmmm?

* resisting urge to comment on political monkey thread. *

Hey, you guys, do you remember all of those fun pictures that compared the leader of the free world to a monkey?

GWB makes me very depressed. Pass the soma BF.

*seals thread. buries thread. covers grave with spiky rocks*

Can you believe this shit? My school blocks access to MetaTalk, but not Metafilter. What the fuck? Can't they understand my need to surf during breaks?

I guess that means William Shatner really IS a gasbag...

A school is blocking MeFi? Maybe a naive question but why? Were ya'll talking about politics or something today? I'm so sorry I missed out.

Edmund: Right Baldrick, let's try again shall we? This is called adding. If I have two beans, and then I add two more beans, what do I have?
Baldrick: Some beans.
Edmund: Yes...and no. Let's try again shall we? I have two beans, then I add two more beans. What does that make?
Baldrick: A very small casserole.
Edmund: Baldrick, the ape creatures of the Indus have mastered this. Now try again. One, two, three, four. So how many are there?
Baldrick: Three
Edmund: What?
Baldrick: And that one.
Edmund: Three and that one. So if I add that one to the three what will I have?
Baldrick: Oh! Some beans.
Edmund: Yes. To you Baldrick, the renaissance was just something that happened to other people wasn't it?

My school blocks access to MetaTalk, but not Metafilter. What the fuck?

I get that at one of the offices where I work. All webmail is blocked as well.

I just started my new school last night; it is a technical school, that I am taking part time...anyhow, we get laptops and such, and we are all in class sitting in rows with our 'puters, and plugged into the network. Being the first day, there was a lot of hullabub about getting people set up (put the ethernet wire in the hole, guys!) and all that jazz, so I had a little time just sitting there, and headed on over to the blue. No problems there, but when I tried to go to the grey, I got an error telling me that this site has been blocked. Maybe it has to do with "talk" being in the title or something. Filepile worked, though! Also, Yahoo mail is blocked, as well as all things AOL (which was reported to me by someone else).

'Tis for the better, I say.

Heh.

I'm not the most politically savvy monkey on the block-but my husband is. So I just called him and asked him about Ashcroft (I admit it-been ignoring a lot these days..). My Republican husband told me Ashcroft scares him.

If my husband holds that opinion, then, monkey brethren....

Hitler wakes up screaming when he dreams of Ashcroft.

bunny, thanks for the info, I thought maybe I lost my "labeled marbles" (republican ideas, one day I hope to have no "labeled marbles") yet I see I'm not the only one, thinking Ashcroft is a waco creep. First inclination was him covering the tits of a woman(statue) who has been naked in our capitol, since the beginning of our country. O' my gosh it's a titty, my first drinking fountain, can't show that as were all monkeys. No wonder Clinton was horney, well, us monkeys you know, monkey see monkey do.....

ah yes my glorious alma mater has the dubious distinction of being the only art museum to have had rodin's "kiss" in it's possession but not to show it. yes, it was deemed offensive by none other than the wife of the mayor of Provo, and so pulled from the exhibit and stored in the basement, along with 3 other statues.

Witchstone-did you go to college where I THINK you did????

You have my condolences. And I am being completely serious here.

condolences accepted.

*shudder*

My husband used to be a Mormon. Boy does he have some stories.

But I just love the look on the Mormon missionary boys' faces when I tell them he was excommunicated.

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