9622.net

I am now waiting for the lyrics to "Sometimes When We Touch"

If you tell my heart
My achy-breaky heart...

*implodes*

Chicago's "If You Leave Me Now." ["Ooo-ooo-ooh baby, please don't go"] Anything from the late-Chicago era is pretty damned bad.

Or that Offspring song, oh, I dunno. Any one will do, really. Bunch of frat-boy punk-rip-off artists.

And Britney Spears: "Oops, I Did it Again" which, aside from being awful, sounds suspiciously like Barbra Streisand's "Woman in Love."

And that freakin' Kylie Minogue song, aptly titled, "Can't Get You Out of My Head." That song followed me all over Italy last fall. It was the worst thing about a very lovely trip.

"Na na na, na na na na na,
na na na, na na na na na..."
[repeat, ad infinitum]

Posted by: readymade on August 15, 2002 09:59 PM

Scorpions rock you like a hurricane for best song ever.

I've given this some more thought.

Two words:

Hey.

Macarena.

That one about the girls who wear Abercrombie & Fitch. Two summers ago, it was the only thing they played at the gym. I still twitch thinking about the line about "Willy Shakespear wrote a whole lotta sonnets."

Or Bill Shatner's interpretation of "Rocketman" that he did at the Sci-Fi Awards.

Or anything from Mr. Nemoy's oeurvre.

Where to start?

"Obladi, oblada, life goes on, BRAH! La la how the life goes on." Oh, how I wish they had buried Paul.

The emasculated version of "When A Man Loves a Woman" perpetrated my Michael Bolton.

"I-E-I-E-I... will always love yoooWHHowoooooooh..."

And, of course, the two songs which made my head explode in the other thread.

All those songs are horrific, I agree. However, at the risk of alienating some fellow poo-flingers, my own personal hell would include REM's "Losing My Religion" - for some reason, the whine of Michael Stipe's voice makes me want to lash out & commit bodily harm to others.

(I know, it's really not cool to dislike REM; on an intellectual level I understand that their music is worthwhile, but something in me just can't get past that whine...)

And of course that's "by" Micheal Bolton. It's hard to type without a head.

"blank", a little-known b-side by the smashing pumpkins, is the Absolute Worst Song I Can Think Of.

That's cool scrib, I have a massive, uncontrollable loathing for "Shiny Happy People" and "Stand" by REM.

from what i read of some random interview with michael stipe, REM shares your loathing for those songs, EBK. :)

My private hell would be that damn Titanic song by Celine Dion.

*whistles*

"Celebrate" by Kool & The Gang.

It's an elevator staple. Everytime I hear it, I want to go play with a downed power line.

Hee hee; we're on a roll here!

OK, here are my Top Ten Worst Unforgettable, Permanently Scarring Songs:

1. Adrian Gurvitz - Gonna Write A Classic
2. Jim Diamond - I Should Have Known Better
3. Supertramp - It's Raining Again
4. John Denver - Country Roads
5. Joe Cocker - Up Where We Belong
6. Christie - Yellow River
7. Foreigner - I Want To Know What Love Is
8. Whigfield - Saturday Night
9. Bonnie Tyler - Total Eclipse of The Heart
10.Jennifer Rush - The Power of Love

There is really no argument:

Mambo #5 by Lou Bega

is the worst song ever created by mankind. I've seen grown men stab out their eardrums with icepicks after a mere 27 choruses.

oh god. believe, by cher. my senior year in high school, i had to do aerobics to that song every day for a quarter. i wanted to rip out my spinal cord.

then we had to make up our own aerobic routines to a song of our choosing. my partner and i tried devo's whip it, only to find out (whilst presenting said routine) that the beat was WAY TOO FUCKING FAST to ever think about doing aerobics to it, unless you're a crazy person.

Then there's the amusing category of great artists performing shite songs even more shittily than the song allows. Frank Sinatra singing "Little Green Apples" springs to mind.

There was a time when REM was great. After "Reckoning" it stopped being Pete Buck's band and started being Michael Stipe's band.

Hee - the thought of aerobics to "Whip It" just made me laugh out loud, P-Lo - wish I could have been there just to see the look on people's faces when you presented it...

I also have a severe loathing for that fucking "Hot in Here" Nelly song.

A lot.

they were mostly very angry, seeing as they had to a) replicate this completely horrible aerobics routine we'd worked up -- it was really awful-- and b) do it in double time, basically. at least double of the slow, forgiving tempo of that fucking cher song. :)

Hey - I like late REM. Automatic and Up are the best things they've recorded. Sorry, over-nostalgic fogeys.

"I Will Always Love You" (Whitney Houston) usually makes me wince pretty badly, also anything by Jennifer Warnes, Joe Cocker, and their ilk.

"Der Kommisar". Either version.
"Rock Me Amadeus"
Anything by Air Supply.
That song by House of Pain that makes me want to hurt innocent bystanders.

whitney houston i wanna dance with somebody

hell yes marquis! throw it up for REM! (not that reveal wasn't a big pile of shit, but still - credit where credit is due)

Come on, now!

A little bit of Monica
By my side
A little bit of Whoever the fuck
In my life

It's the worst! The Worst!

It is the sound of old fat people dancing at a wedding.

But...what's this......wait for it....

HOTEL CALIFORNIA!!

Aaaaaaugh!

*dies*

Welcome to the Other Side, Kaf.

"Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald" - makes me wish I'd gone down with the bloody ship.

That horrible "someone left the cake out in the rain" song, oh gak.

And that other really desperately bad song with the woman in the taxi, and the taxi driver thinks he knows her from somewhere; it has to be the Psychotic National Anthem.

*shudders violently* ewwwwwwww.

And if you really want to talk squirm inducing:

The Growing Pains Theme Song

oh yes, my friend. Oh yes.

It's the diametric, polar opposite of the Barney Miller theme song, which not only is the coolest TV theme ever, but the discussion of which by myself and Jonmc was censored from MeFi lo these many months ago.

While we're at it, "Heartache Tonight" is pretty death-inspiring, too.

I'll shut up now.

Man! This is like Bad Song Indianhead Poker or something.

Okay, my least favourite has to be Feel like a woman as "sung" by Shania Twain.
Ick. Watching otherwise sane people run screaming for the dancefloor when this comes on... the mind boggles

the Step By Step theme song was pretty shitty as well, kaf. something about sitcoms.

however, kids in the hall had the best theme song of any show ever.

On the behalf of all over-nostalgic fogeys:

feh, just wait till it happens to something you cherish ya lil' whipper-snapper...

Oh no! They're popping out of my head like Athena from Zeus!

I think there is a special bad song nirvana reserved for bad ska. Like, oh say,

The Date Rape Song! Man, it sucked!

Every No Doubt Song Ever Recorded Ever

and

Every Save Ferris Song Ever

but it gets worse....what about....

Kriss Kross'll make ya Jump! Jump!

*dies even more dramatically, even Shatneresquely*

not to say that Kriss Kross was ska, you understand.

Let's just say Shit Sandwich.

Oh, yeah, Hotel California kills me. Ug. Eep. Even the Langley Schools Music Project vsn was intolerable.

when i was in fifth grade, kriss kross as all the rage. i was taken in by their evil charms. so taken in, in fact, that i wore all my clothing backwards for two days, until some kindhearted adult told me to go put my clothes on like a normal person.

however, to my credit, i never liked new kids on the block.

was, rather. not as.

The worst sitcom theme song is that freaking Rembrandts song from Friends.

What's scary about the "i left that cake out in the rain" song (titled: "MacArthur Park" and written by Richard Harris.) is that Giorgio Moroder and Donna Summer somehow found it necessary to make a 15 minute long cover version.

Also, truly bad, but in a good way. Convoy by CW McCall.

Come on, man. I had a rough night and I hate the fuckin' Eagles, man!

Isn't the Eagles kafkaesque's favorite band? Don't be dissin the Eagles in front of kafka. He's liable to go all Desperado on your ass.

Well we laid a strip fer the Jersey Shore
An' prepared to cross the line
I could see the bridge 'as lined with bears
But I didn't have a doggone dime
I sez Pig-Pen, this here's the Rubber Duck
We just ain't a gonna pay no toll
So we crashed the gate doin' ninety-eight
I sez, let them truckers roll, 10-4

Cause we gotta mighty convoy, rockin' through the night
Yeah we gotta mighty convoy, ain't she a beautiful sight?
Come on an' join our convoy, ain't nothin' gonna git in our way
We're gonna roll this truckin' convoy, cross the USA
Convoy... Convoy...

That is beau-ti-ful.

Surely not this Richard Harris?

Eyeballkid confided in me his secret fave band: The Weather Girls.

"Margaritaville" by Jimmy Buffett. I'm sure that's on the soundtrack in Hell.

And I can't remember the singer's name (It was Bobby something-or-other) but there was this song called "Honey" which is basically about some guys wife who died-sappy and hideous...the first line was something like "See the tree, how big it's grown..." I guess the dead gal planted it or something-

Either one of those is enough for me to stick my fingers in my ears in public.

But I like "I want to know what love is" by Foreigner. Oddly enough.

Oh, and if I never have to hear any thing by Whitney Houston or Michael Bolton ever again, it will be too soon.

Surely not this Richard Harris?

I think that's what inspired him to write it.

This one. ( i apolgize in advance. the computer i'm working on right now has no speakers. i have no idea what i'm subjecting you to.)

Hallelujah! It's raining men.

One of the Weather Girls is resonsible for that C+C Music Factory song that everybody loves.

Buffet's "Cheeseburger in Paradise" is even worse.

Buffet's "Pencil Thin Moustache" wins, hands down.

For those of you who live in civilized parts of the world, you will never know the horror that is...line dancing.

White people. Bad clothes. Bad music. Moving as one.

Thank you. Goodnight.

Oh. My. God. Chef - you and I share the same pain... I endured the first 19 years of my life in a town that loved line dancing (should that be capitalized? "The Town That Loved Line-Dancing"), and I ran far, far away as soon as I reached majority & had scraped together enough money.

(There was a mechanical bull at my High School Grad celebration. 'Nuff said.)

Hold me, scrib.

*gives you all the finger*

I live in fucking Nashville.

"Free Bird" and "Stairway to Heaven" back to back in a stuck elevator would make me wish the cable would let loose. The craptacular theme to our lame prom in the 70's was "Stairway to Heaven". It was sooo bad that they cancelled the 5th high school reunion because of lack of interest. They only held a tenth one out of morbid curiousity. None since.

oh man, how has no one mentioned creed yet?!

For today? That Avril Lavigne song. My imbecile shorteyes officemate thinks she's "deep." You don't want to know what he really means. He's the kind of guy who has the Olsen Twins Street Legal Countdown Clock in his sys tray. Gah.

For ever? Just about anything by that half-wit, faux-sensitive, 60's-reliving, working-class-leeching, girlfriend-beating peckerspank Jackson Browne. I wish that, after he'd smacked around Daryl Hannah, she'd come back and put the business end of a claw hammer through his skull.

I can't believe no one has yet dredged, from the pits of their mind, the inimitable "Having My Baby" by the one and only Paul Anka.

UncleFes, are you familiar with the work of Tonio K? His song H-A-T-R-E-D would be right up your alley, I think:

yes I wish I was as mellow
as for instance Jackson Browne
but "Fountain of Sorrow" my ass
motherf**ker
i hope you wind up in the ground

yhbc, I did dredge that one up. Over there ->
in that "Three Hour tour" thread. The whole thing. All the lyrics in all their lyrical greatness.

Then I had to go away and vomit for two hours.

Fes: Avril Lavigne made me think of Shakira. Shakira's voice could wound small animals and children. She doesn't sing as much as screech like one of HR Giger's Aliens.

And p-lo, I think the fact that Creed sucks is universal knowledge. It need not be mentioned.

Anyone who hates Jackson Browne can't be all bad, biz.

I missed it - I couldn't read the whole thread first. Now that I have, I can't believe that beautiful thread degenerated so far.

At least I had the decency to only put in a link, rather than the lyrics themselves (he said, with a distinct smirk).

ebk: maybe i just hate them a lot more than most other people do. we're talking full visceral reaction here.

You asked for it, eyeballkid.
I really hate James Taylor's "I've seen fire and I've seen rain..."
Much, much worse is Christopher Cross's "When you get caught between the moon and New York City..."
But all pale beside the one, the only, Dan Hill (look away if you don't want tooth-decay):

You ask me if I love you
And I choke on my reply
I'd rather hurt you honestly
Than mislead you with a lie
And who am I to judge you
On what you say or do?
I'm only just beginning to see the real you

And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides

Romance and all its strategy
Leaves me battling with my pride
But through the insecurity
Some tenderness survives
I'm just another writer
Still trapped within my truth
A hesitant prize fighter
Still trapped within my youth

And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides

At times I'd like to break you
And drive you to your knees
At times I'd like to break through
And hold you endlessly

At times I understand you
And I know how hard you've tried
I've watched while love commands you
And I've watched love pass you by

At times I think we're drifters
Still searching for a friend
A brother or a sister
But then the passion flares again

And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides

courtesy of billy corgan:

I wish I was blank
I wish I was blank
I wish I could thank
I wish I was blank

I'd write a letter to you
And there'd be nothing to it
I wouldn't hem and haw
On just how to start it

I wish I was blank
I wish I was blank
I wish I could thank
I wish I was blank

I wish I'd stand up straight
I wish I'd said things different
I wish I'd said nothing
Things would be so perfect
I wish myself to keep
I pray my soul to sleep
I wish myself away
I wish I was blank

Come on, is that all you got?

I'll take "Songs way more saccharine than 'Sometimes When We Touch'" for one hundred, Alex:

Seasons In The Sun
( Terry Jacks )

Goodbye to you my trusted friend
We've known each other since we were nine or ten
Together we climbed hills and trees
Learned of love and A B C's
Skinned our hearts and skinned our knees.

Goodbye my friend it's hard to die
When all the birds are singing in the sky
Now that the spring is in the air
Pretty girls are everywhere
Think of me and I'll be there

We had joy we had fun
We had seasons in the sun
But the hills that we climbed were just seasons
Out of time......

Goodbye Papa please pray for me
I was the black sheep of the family
You tried to teach me right from wrong
Too much wine and too much song
Wonder how I got along.

Goodbye Papa its hard to die
When all the birds are singing in the sky
Now that the spring is in the air
Little children everywhere
When you see them I'll be there.

We had joy we had fun
We had seasons in the sun
But the wine and the song like the seasons
Have all gone.

We had joy we had fun
We had seasons in the sun
But the wine and the song like the seasons
Have all gone.

Goodbye Michelle my little one
You gave me love and helped me find the sun
And every time that I was down
You would always come around
And get my feet back on the ground.

Goodbye Michelle it's hard to die
When all the birds are singing in the sky
Now that the spring is in the air
With the flowers everywhere
I wish that we could both be there

We had joy we had fun
We had seasons in the sun
But the stars we could reach
Were just starfish on the beach

We had joy we had fun
We had seasons in the sun
But the stars we could reach
Were just starfish on the beach

We had joy we had fun
We had seasons in the sun
But the wine and the song like the seasons
Have all gone

All our lives we had fun
We had seasons in the sun
But the hills that we climbed were just seasons
Out of time......

We had joy we had fun
We had seasons in the sun

ahh, saccharine is what we're after? i was going for horrific 6th grade goth poetry. ^_^ i'll work on saccharine.

I likeJames Taylor. Really. And Jackson Browne.

Songs are melody and lyrics, Crash. "Sometimes When We Touch" is...untouchable, though I'll grant that "Seasons in the Sun" wins on lyrics alone. Now to gratuitous '70s name-dropping and Peter Starstedt:

You talk like Marlene Dietrich and you dance like Zizi Jean-Maire.
Your clothes are all made by Balmain and there's diamonds and pearls in your hair.
You live in a fancy apartment off the Boulevard St. Michel
Where you keep your Rolling Stones records and a friend of Sasha Distel.
You go to the embassy parties where you talk in Russian and Greek
And the young men who move in your circles, they hang on every word you speak.

But where do you go to my lovely... when you're alone in your bed.
Tell me the thoughts that surround you. I want to look inside your head.

I've seen all your qualifications that you got from the Sorbonne
And the painting you stole from Picasso. Your loveliness goes on and on.
When you go on your summer vacation, you go to Juan-les-Pins
With your carefully designed topless swimsuit
You get an even suntan on your back and on your legs.
And when the snow falls you're found in St. Moritz with the others of the jet set.
And you sip your Napoleon brandy, but you never get your lips wet.

But where do you go to my lovely... when you're alone in your bed.
Tell me the thoughts that surround you. I want to look inside your head.

You're in between twenty and thirty, a very desirable age.
You're body is firm and inviting, but you live on a glittering stage.
Your name it is heard in high places. You know the Agha Khan.
He sent you a race horse for Christmas and you keep it just for fun, for a laugh, aha aha.
They say that when you get married, it will be to a millionaire.
But they don't realize where you came from and I wonder if they really care, or give a damn.

But where do you go to my lovely... when you're alone in your bed.
Tell me the thoughts that surround you. I want to look inside your head.

Ah, remember the back streets of Naples, two children begging in rags
Both touched with a burning ambition to shake off their lowly-born tags, so they try.
So look into my face Marie-Claire and remember just who you are.
Then go and forget me forever
But I know you still bear the scar deep inside, yes, you do.

Ah, I know where you go to my lovely... when you're alone in your bed.
I know the thoughts that surround you, cause I can look inside your head.

Honestly, p'lo, I didn't even see your comment there. You must have posted while I was previewing.

I never did have much respect for Billy anyway. His voice sounds suspiciously like someone letting the air out of a balloon by stretching the neck tightly, so it's got that high-pitched farty-whine thing going. Especially on that one with the retro-moon-trip video. What's it called? Tonight, tonight?

Christ on a crutch, I hate that song. He's whinier than a toddler with a full diaper and an empty stomach.

One thing I will say for Jackson Browne: he did help bring Warren Zevon to light. Other than that...

And Crash, you are a mean and funny man.

Ladies and gents, let the music speak for itself. Definitely a time and place.

heh... Crash - you should hear Steven Lynch do his famous Billy Corgan impression; it's called "What if that Guy from Smashing Pumpkins Lost His Car Keys?", and it's a hoot.

I love Lynch. "That's Why Your Mommy Left Us" never fails to make me double over with hysterical laughter.

Of course, that's 'cause it's actually the true story of my life, and I'm laughing to dull the pain of my miserable existence.

But it's funny nonetheless.

None of the above compares to the Euro-pop awfulness of 'Hey Baby' by DJ Otzi. It's German. Imagine the Macarena and Saturday Night by Whigfield, but take away the sophisticated tunes and intelligent lyrics. In the land that gave birth to the Beatles, Stones, Who, Bowie, Clash, Pogues, Smiths etc etc, crowds on Saturday nights can be heard chanting "heyyyyy, hey baby, oooh ah oooh" to German synth pop while thrusting their hips in and out.

Plus:

'Frankie' - Sister Sledge
'Time Warp' - Rocky Horror
'When the Going Gets Tough' - Billy Ocean
'Uptown Girl' - Billy Joel
'Take my Breath Away' - Berlin
'Power of Love' - Jennifer Rush

It's a tie between 'Hotel California'* and 'The Star Spangled Banner'.

*That song gives me post-tramatic stress disorder. While I was in high school in Dallas 97.1FM changed format and played that song for 48 fucking hours. It made surfing the radio an absolute surreal torture.

I admit I sort of like that Avril Lavigne song.

I think that it's important here that we confess our hatred, not for the obvious, like whitney houston, but for those songs that we aren't supposed to hate.
I DETESTE the following songs (and by saying so I risk losing you as friends):
REM: Losing My Religion (For those of you who don't recall - Michael Stipe at some music awards show getting 35 billion awards and changing his T-shirt every time he went up to accept. I was a young idealistic 9th grader, and it made me want to slit my wrists.)
Red Hot Chilli Peppers: Keep it Away
I don't like Primus
The Eagles give my high school flashbacks (Sorry K.)

OK Goneill. I hate everything the Rolling Stones every did and all, I mean all jazz.

Everyone in Britain seems to think The Beautiful South are dry and clever tunesmiths. I think they're ugly, annoying smugmeisters.

I'd vote for most everything that's been listed so far, but I haven't seen Desperado or the Rammstein song. Which one? Does it matter? And a big fat Hear! Hear! to all the Jimmy Buffet bashing.

We Built This City
by Starship or whatever they were called at the time

Just getting started

Ooooo, wait. The one song that will send me screaming from public places (well, set of songs):

Bad renditions of the Nutcracker suite, including "Waltz of the Flowers", "Russian Suite", "Spanish Suite", "Mother Ginger", "Snowflake Scene", "Marzipan Suite" and last but not least, "The Sugar Plum Fairy"

*shudder*

(I'm with donger. I kinda like that song.)

Tizzie was on to it. The songs of Harry Chapin are some of the worst every recorded.

Lets be honest, any music is better than silence. Or, hearing your self bitching: Get me the f- out of this elevator somebody, PLEASE.. (And you would be saying please, somebody) Then if the song, Love in a Elevator came on, you, yes, you would love it. As you could really sing your own words, Stuck in this F-ing Elevator, Somebody please help me.
What I fear are those tv monitors now in the elevators.
So your stuck looking at food ads(which make you hungry) and worse, live reports of your stock portfolio keep popping up reminding you things are worse once you get out of this f-ing elevator. Then Karen Carpenter, any song, comes on through a speaker somewhere and your thinking, I hope I starve to death..........since I am broke like this f-ing elevator.
*splat*

I have been stuck in an elevator before.

It was not fun.

The worst thing about it is that you feel like you're in a bad sitcom, and spend the whole time wondering when the cast of Bosom Buddies will be along to rescue you.

ditto kafkaesque

Kafkaesque, I feel for you, I heard about a guy who just recently, got stuck. He was last to leave the building, and was stuck all weekend. Worse, Monday was a holiday.

If I have my choice, I'd rather not listen to electronic music. I like lyrics.

Oh, and I often sing "Mandy" at the top of my lungs, putting my fiancee's name whereever I should be saying "Mandy." Love makes me do this.

I have gotten stuck in elevators many times, as old buildings here in the center have old elevators to match, the kinds that require you to manually shut both inside and outside sets of doors and have many mechanical gremlins. I think it's marginally better than getting stuck in some skyscraper's metal tube where no one can hear you screaming.

Still sucks though.

"where no one can hear you screaming"

I want to, like, buy you an ice cream or something, romakimmy.
You sound so auschwitz-survivor just there.

Any Will Smith song makes me want to stab puppies in the head with a butterknife.

Any Will Smith song at all.

romakimmy, forget the station, this past memorial weekend in Dallas, this FM station changing formats played Feliz, Navida.......3days straight that I know. Sorry you had to experience high school here.

Feliz Navidad? Eep.

More songs that make me want to rip my eardrums out: The Cotton Eyed Joe, Anything by Garth Brooks and that frickin' Thong Song by Cisco. While I can understand one wanting to sing the praises of a g-string, did he have to make it so damn annoying?

Dong, I'm a wee bit claustrophic if I can't at least *see* open space near-by me. I forgot to mention most of the antique elevators here have windows on the doors and are unenclosed except for grating(ie, you can see the cables hauling the car up). Getting stuck in an elevator like the picture at top for more than 15 minutes would make me wig out. And I prefer fig sherbert ;)

Anything from Rick Astley...

"Never gonna give you up, Never gonna let you down, Never gonna turn around and forget you..."

even the girls of the world are nothing but trouble song, dong?

also, anything by puff doody. or whatever the fuck his name is.

oh, and "Islands in the Stream" by Dolly and Kenny. That one just kills me too.

"Any Will Smith song makes me want to stab puppies in the head with a butterknife."

So it's happy music.

Let me think, what popular music of today, lionized by critics and adored by fans, is to me caterwauling on the order of cats fucking in a Dumpster?

All of it, my friends. All of it.

romakimmy, your not a country fan, yea.......
(brain dead today so it took a while)
Thanks to "gone ill", you reminded me the one song I never want to hear, stuck or not. REM, Shiny Happy People, it is a downer when I hear it. From memory on KROQ, LA, Stipe said he wished if he could have one song back, this would be it...
Has anyone had a Mr.Toad's Wild Ride on an elevator. That is when the elevator races up and down, from floor to floor on it's own, and yes your not alone, whee.....definitely an E ticket.
And when you do finally exit, the maintenance man races up to all of you not realizing your all about ready to pee your pants in fear. "Excuse me, where did the out of order sign go?"( side note I use to sell and program the PLCs that run some elevators)

Adam, you mean "poo doody" :)

gen, he's not good enough for our, poo. *splat*

I've never had a mr. toad's wild ride in an elevator, but well, i can't say the sounds of fucking in a dumpster are entirely unpleasant,
"when you see the dumpster rockin' don't come a knockin'"
Need I remind everyone that 2 of the tenants of punk rock love are:
1. making out in a dumpster
2. having sex for the first time, ever, in a recycling bin.

I love all duets, Crash, especially Neil Diamond and Barbara Streisand, "You don't bring me flowers" I used to make my boyfriend (oh, he was sweet) sing it with me at the top of our lungs all the time.

Let's see. Sex in a dumpster. Screaming Neil Diamond songs.

I wonder why Tommy never calls...

(I kid, G. You know I'm just jealous.)

Timmy...

(I'm all talk...)

Strictly a Italian thing, but last summer there was an overplayed piece of bubblegum crap titled voo voo voo mi piace tu (www. i like you)

and TCS, unless it's Patsy Cline or Johnny Cash, it's crap.

That's just mean. And it's Timmy.

oooh, too slow.

I get all giddy when you walk by cold chef.

"All of it, my friends. All of it."

Thinking it over, I'd say Crash speaks for me as well.

Also, I want the 8-track back.

I had a friend who found an old stereo with an eight track and a record player and a tape player and he only had one 8-track, which was the carpenters greatest hits. Which, is a really, really good record after the 38,792 time you listen to it.

That's how they made Frank Sinatra betray his country in The Manchurian Candidate

romakimmy, And yes like minded, what I say music some call country, like Patsy Cline, Johnny Cash.........I moved to Dallas when some, actually a fact, young country was on everyones playlist, I mean everyone I met, knew here, or worked for... Thank God no family lives here, then I would have to be polite about it. I was so happy when Young Country became Talk Radio(hee hee hee, or as they would say hee haw....)
Crash, what you said way up there, true. As I get older I hope to go deaf(future technology will help me hear what I want to) as those ok songs twenty years back, become one hit wonder today and make millions for folks. Butt, we are stuck with them in our heads, like the repeat button was left on. Same music over and over, recycled. No wonder the youngins are in a band. I bet you can make a one hit wonder recycled even before hitting the LOTTO, or die having fun at it anyway. Any takes, the fun part, groupies, partying and sex.............

"Also, I want the 8-track back."

Not just any old eight-track, donger. Quadraphonic.

Jeez, Crash, I was jus' trying to come off all anachronistic and crotchety with today's youth.

Now you've made me all uncomfortable.

My day's not complete until I've given someone a case of the heebie-jeebies.

Tonight, I sleep like a baby.

Does anyone remember how to work the 8 track. There was a system (4 traks with 4 songs so it seemed) that if you were listining to a tune on track one, after you could go to track 3, with song 3 playing(??), You never re-wound, and you could skip songs w/o rewindind or fast forwarding. I had a basic model and first album of current play music, The Wall in 8track. Basically you used your banana to work it, and it was better than casset.

"Basically you used your banana to work it..."

Hell, Thom, I still use that system on my cassette player. It's just that it's a bit of a longer reach to the button from the driver's seat than it used to be.

Moved someplace cold, have you?

Nah, it's just an extra couple of inches to get around my now-fat gut. Nothing more sinister than that.

Two words: BOB SEGER

[As an aside, whew! you guys are prolific. I leave for one day and this place is overwhelmed with monkeynames, haiku, and vitriolic bile about the Eagles. I had to read the equivalent of a cheap pulp novel just to catch up.]

We now continue with previously scheduled programming.

Posted by: readymade on August 16, 2002 11:00 PM

Not to brag or anything, but my parents have an 8 track that still works, and I have an 8-track of ZOFO that still works - ok yeah, I guess I am bragging..

(The umlaut is sexy on you.)

Hello.

It's Friday night as I type this. Deke Dickerson is playing the Tractor Tavern tonight.

I, on the other hand, am at work.

There is a sound system where I work. Tonight it is playing Edith Piaf, much to my dismay.

I know that I'm supposed to like, or at least tolerate, "The Little Sparrow". And I've tried, really I have. Her material is fine, and sung by someone else, I'd probably be OK with it.

It's that voice. I'd rather have each and every tiny bird in France fly over here to land on my head, peck away the flesh & plunge their fiery little beaks into my brain than listen to another minute of La Piaf whine on and on about some tragic love affair or another in that rusted cheese-grater of a voice.

It's a character flaw, I guess.

That's no umlaut, it's just cold in here!

*rimshot*

Thank you.

Also, good lord is bmarkey right.

Ah, Bob Seger, the bane of my existence. ...And I live in Detroit, where if he put out a CD called "The Sounds Bob Seger Makes When He's Taking a Nasty Draft Beer Shit," I would have to hear it on the radio every twenty minutes. If you'll excuse me, I have to go set my head on fire now.

Ok, I'll admit it. Kiss. I hate Kiss. Liked it in 3rd grade, doncha know. Hate it now. Makes me cringe.

Heard a Zepplin song in Muzak format in the mall the other day. Considered a mad shooting spree...but the husband keeps hiding the ammunition. He's a clever boy, that one. :)

stairway to gilligan and harder, better, faster, stronger.

Oh shit. That Gilligan song is so...I'm not exactly sure. But thanks quonsar, I think.

Cant give you a particular song, but the new sound system at Dairy Queen where i work plays the same 20 Beach Boys -style songs...
over &
over &
over &
over &
...

aaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
*dies from lack of oxygen... and bad music* lol

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