9622.net

Feh.

This is a total scam. There's no guarantee that this poo came from zoo animals at all--let alone monkeys.

I, for one, have better things to spend my hard-earned money on than the crap of some zookeeper with a fecal fetish.

What they *should* be doing is renting out the animals, especially the monkeys. Lease a macaque for a month for say $200, and you can keep any poop he leaves behind.

For some reason, I read the above as us purchasing a 6x3 bed. I think you guys would hog the covers.

I live about two miles from this zoo. I can vouch for the quality of their monkeys. And while jpoulos is correct in asserting that there is no guarantee of the inclusion of actual monkey poo, think of the fear one could inspire in one's enemies by flinging, say, tiger poo at them. I understand Special Forces is requisitioning several tons for an unspecified purpose...

we make our own poo at home.

that goddamn northwest is full of dirty hippies.

also: heavy metallers with guns.

that's why we love it so.

Don't forget the neo-nazis! They bring in the tourist dollar.

that goddamn northwest is full of...heavy metallers with guns.

Really?

*contemplates running away from home to join the revolutionary army of his people*

OK, let's get our stereotypes straight. The militias over in Idaho have the guns; the heavy metallers are mostly unarmed & still trying to figure out what happened to Soundgarden.

The hippies are still dirty, though, and reek of patchouli. They labor under the mistaken belief that it is a substitute for bathing.

Four words:

Organic deodorants don't work.

*still trying to get her mind around a bedpile of 9622ers*

As a UC Santa Cruz alumni who spent many long hours in the overcrowded campus shuttles, with hippie-pits near my olfactory center, I concur with the non-efficacy of organic deodorants.

Just say no to a metric ton of patchouli oil.

This also explains my aversion to Bob Marley's Legend.

You're a Fightin' Banana Slug, Kaf? Cool. I always thought that that was one of the better school mascots around.

*still trying to get his mind around a shuttle full of hippie-pits*

*afraid she might see a Fightin' Banana Slug while on acid*

Exactly *how* does a Banana Slug fight, pray tell?

"Exactly *how* does a Banana Slug fight, pray tell?"

Slimily.

I'm a geoduck. Go, geoducks!

(My geoduck can kick your slug's ass!)

Posted by: readymade on August 20, 2002 03:27 PM

For those of you outside of the NW who don't know what a geoduck is (pronounced Gooey-duck) I give you this alarming picture.

Posted by: readymade on August 20, 2002 03:36 PM

WAY ahead of you, readymade. My cousin was a geoduck, btw.

i don't ♥ my supervisor. her face looks like a geoduck.

Wow, I'm sorry I missed that thread! Well, clams that look like elephant appendages will always be entertaining. Or at least interesting....

Posted by: readymade on August 20, 2002 03:48 PM

I just found out that our latin slogan, "Omni Extaris," translates roughly to: "Let it all hang out."

Pun-ny. Very pun-ny.

Posted by: readymade on August 20, 2002 03:58 PM

Well UCSC only had an Ultimate Frisbee team...maybe a soccer team, so we weren't too confrontational. Our motto: "Fiat Slug!"

I always thought a better motto would be: "Lick us for nourishment when lost in the forest!"

OK, let's get our stereotypes straight. The militias over in Idaho have the guns; the heavy metallers are mostly unarmed & still trying to figure out what happened to Soundgarden.

excellent. i was waiting for someone to call me on this.

i have a few friends from art school -- punkael and katrina, actually, they're named (punkael makes a pretty kick ass "punk-ale" -- it's a pale). some of punkael's very good friends (or are they katrina's? no, punkael's) happen to be heavy metallers. well. death metallers. in a band. in oregon. with guns. semi-automatic guns. i saw pictures.

they're actually a pretty popular death metal band. i'm trying to recall what they're called.. but, alas, my grasp of death metal is far from complete.

now, while i'm supposing oregon is surely not teeming with these death-metaller gun lovers, there sure are some there; thus, my statement is correct. also, smelly hippie is a tautology -- so there!

(also: let me briefly make this tangential point as to the origin of the logic that allowed for the hippie tautology. when i was in fifth grade -- '89, if i recall; yessum -- we went on a field trip to yosemite. there was a kid in our class, who, due to the food chain of abuse, managed to fall just slightly below us. actually, he was the only one below us, as we were hugely unpopular. anyhow, we discovered, while at yosemite, and much to our juvenile delight, that he wore RED underwear. now, while i think everybody wore tighty-whities back then, [and i at one rather misguided point in my life, wore man-ties, so it's not to say that i'm irreproachable upon the subject of undergarments. also: bike shorts] nobody, but nobody, wore red underwear. for the next 3 days, we gave him constant crap about his designer underwear. you know how kids are -- they can work these sorts of jabs in anywhere - "Could you find me the milk?" "OH? MR. DESIGNER UNDERWEAR CAN'T FIND THE MILK, HUH?" -- that sort of thing. unsubtlely at its finest.

anyhow. eventually a chaperone, sick, probably, of hearing us torment this otherwise rather likeable child, informed us that *everyone's* underwear was designed by someone, and thus, everyone wore designer's underwear.

we were speechless for about 5 minutes, but then he left, and we gave that kid the biggest wedgie ever.

what?)

but, hey, since it sounds like you live closer to there now, i'll trust your judgement (but i swear those heavy metallers are up around there somewher -- look out for them.)

I always call hippies "Portuguese Waterdogs", so that may explain some things.

Well,I did state that the heavy metallers were "mostly unarmed". The situation among Oregon death metal bands may be different than here in Seattle, where the biggest danger is having someone drop a 40 of Rainier on your foot.

Um. Wow. My panties were never very fashionable.

As to quasi-militia death-metal gun-toters, I remember driving to Portland once and crossing the WA-OR border where I read a headline in a newsbox at some truckstop: Oregon Has Highest Gun-Ownership per Capita, Says New Study. "More than Texas?" I asked myself. But driving through much of Oregon, one realizes that the populace is not much like Portland, and there could be a fair chunk of death-metal gun-lovers hanging it all out there.

As to competitive college teams, I don't even know what sports we had at Evergreen...we had a climbing wall, I remember. And there was a very stern German yoga teacher. I just wanted to say "slugs v. gooeyducks: soggiest match ever."

Posted by: readymade on August 20, 2002 07:12 PM

I still owe for the brick, yes pay pal works with credit, did I miss I can use for a checking account?

readymade - in my experience, you're dead-on about the difference between 'city' and 'rural' Oregon... No offense to any Oregonian apes out there, but every single time I've driven through rural Oregon, it's been like Deliverance-lite - lots of scary "you-ain't-from-around-these-parts" stares at food stops, etc; like those scenes in old western movies where the piano player stops & all conversation ceases after the villan walks into the saloon. And I'm very "normal" looking (okay, relatively speaking... heh...) - I don't have purple hair, or unusual facial piercings. I'm not bashing the state, but it really is the strangest feeling of "outsider-ness", and it happens every time I go... It never seems to happen in rural Washington or California, though.

Also, it has been my observation that Oregon has waaay more roadkill than either Washington or California - coincidence?

that sounds right to me, too, scribblative - i currently live in corvallis, oregon and will be moving to portland in the next week or so. from what i can tell, the further away from I-5 you get, the scarier oregon is. that goes for the coast, too - they're scary in their own little anchors-and-sea-captains-everywhere kind of way. however, oregon is beautiful, and based on my very vague recollections of election-time, i think nader got a higher percentage of votes here than almost anywhere else.

so, oregon consists of:
1. dirty stinking hippies (eugene)
2. hip twentysomethings (portland)
3. scary deliverance-esque people (sweet home)
4. hewlett packard higher-ups (corvallis)
5. anchor-wielding types who warn you against sneaker waves and "falling into the drink" (entire oregon coast)
6. cheese (tillamook)
7. fire (everywhere)

Let's hear it for Tillamook, makers of rennet-free cheddar! Cheese without guilt is a very good thing. And it's Kosher, too.

There's this gas station in southern Oregon on I-5 that I've been to a couple times: once by accident, the second time to confirm that I had actually been there.

It's this tiny Texaco, two pumps or something, that operates in a house. You go inside and it's got a little store with Snapple and snacks, the usual, but because it's in a house, it's cramped and dusty and (per scribb's and Lo's description) very "Deliverance." I needed to use the loo so I was given meandering directions. I opened the door and let out a yelp: there in the tub (the tub???) was a BODY! Upon closer inspection, of course, there was no body, but a dummy made to look very creepy and dead. I peed as quickly as I could and went to pay for my soda and gas when I noticed a poster of Oliver North on the way out.

Decked out as Rambo, complete with ripped wife-beater, gun-belt and huge machine gun, it said, "Oliver North: an American Hero." Priceless. I thought I heard him whisper to me: "git out, woman...git out whaile yew can."

Just to prove to myself that it was as creepy as I thought, my husband and I found it again. It was definitely as creepy. We've looked for it since, but it seems to have slipped back into the twilight zone where it belongs.

Posted by: readymade on August 20, 2002 10:42 PM

that's southern oregon for ya. on a road trip once, i had to pay my cell phone bill in roseburg. the sprint store was PACKED full of old men in muscle tees arguing over cell phones, cell phone accessories, and the prices thereof. it was insanely surreal.

fish spelunker, what the hell are 'man-ties'?

man panties. a word, i (like to) believe, (was) popularized by dan savage (but only for me, i guess).

your diesels, your 2xist, and the like.

there's actually a store around here (in the castro, natch) that is full of nothing but man-ties.

on hangers.

with dressing rooms.

it's a scary thing.

of course, across the street they sell dirty underwear, so i'm guessing it's not anything one should, uh, get in a twist about.

Ah. Like tighty-whities. Here I was pronouncing '-ties' like it rhymed with 'cries'.

I'm not sure which men's undergarment store scares me more, the pre-stained undies or the perfectly hung stepford undies

Used clothing is apparently all the rage. I recently saw pre-worn jeans at the Gap, of all places. They cost more than the new ones.

Dude, if secondhand skid marks are the new thing...ugh, I can't even think about it. Gross. Foul. Nasty. Gag me with a spoon. Ick.

Secondhand undies store wins as 'Most Disturbing'

It wins? No one told me there was a contest. Cuz I can *totally* top that.

Oops meant to type 'Most Disturbing Fashion Trend'. I got distracted...

How used are they?

But honestly, imagine celebrity pants! You could make a killing. Or historical pants, that were worn in a double homicide or something.

uh, i don't know if you're clear on this, but those dirty undies, well, they ain't for wearin'.

plan a daytrip next time you're here:

Worn Out West: Yeah, you can break the bank at Rolo or Citizen, but wouldn't you rather wear Levi's or combat boots that someone has already broken in? WOW has mostly second-hand clothes, including cowboy wear, police wear or anything else that appeal to the Levi's/leather/uniform crowd. Downstairs, you'll find classic, useful everyday wear: new and used shirts, T-shirts, Levi's and Wranglers and bandanas in all colors of the rainbow. The really cool gear is all upstairs: leather harnesses, ball gags, new and used boots, leather jackets, fatigues, police togs and latex wear. 582 Castro St., (415) 431-6020.

ps. the review above is too timid to mention the unmentionables. you can find a reference here: http://www.armpitswebsite.com/jockstraplinks.html

for those at work: "Used jockstraps for sale at a place named "Worn Out West". It's on Castro Street in San Fransisco. They are in a basket at the back of the first floor."

how do i know so much about used undies? it is a mystery.

pps. armpitswebsite.com? i hadn't looked, but now i sort of wish i had. kinda.

DOES ANY1 KNOW WHAT A TIGER POO LOOKS LIKE?????
I REALLY WOULD LYK 2 KNOW!?!?!?!

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