Me and jpoulos were shooting the shit a few minutes ago when I joked that if we ever did 9622 Radio, I wanted to be our Johnny Fever. Wiseass little chimps that we are we ran with it and here is our cast of WKRP in Cincinatti or 9622 in Cyberspace. I'm sure you all will go nuts recasting every sitcom under the sun, so here's our start:
Andy Travis:Kafkaesque(he's got the hair)
Mr.Carlson:YHBC
Herb Tarlek:stavros in a bad suit(we had to pick someone)
Bailey Quarters:brittney
Johnny Fever:jonmc
Venus Flytrap:jpoulos(we're blowing out his afro as we speak)
Les Nessman:Miguel
Jennifer:witchstone
Let the fun begin!!
Posted by jonmc at August 21, 2002 10:14 PMWe tried to find a place for adampsyche, but he'll have to settle for being tootie on the facts of life
Posted by: jonmc on August 21, 2002 10:19 PM
I dibs Henry Desmond from Bosom Buddies. Failing that, Kip Wilson would be OK, too. I've got the height of Scolari, the coloring of Hanks, and look much better in a dress than either one of them.
Posted by: bmarkey on August 21, 2002 11:23 PMI'm just glad to be in there - in there as a clueless, dimwitted semi-authority figure, but in there nonetheless.
Posted by: yhbc on August 21, 2002 11:40 PMWho are these people and who is trying to kill us?
Posted by: Befuddled Foreigner on August 21, 2002 11:43 PMNot to worry, Les - they're the same folks who write "slash" fiction. When they get tired of thinking of different ways to describe Spock's "turgid member, as he cast his steely Vulcan gaze upon Kirk's taut, sinewy, human form", they drop by to kill off sit-com characters.
It's an American thing, I think.
A geeky American thing.
Not that I would know anything about that.
Posted by: yhbc on August 21, 2002 11:50 PMRemember the episode where the photographer took nude photos of Jennifer through a false mirror while she was changing?
I'm that guy.
Posted by: Crash on August 21, 2002 11:52 PMOn a weekly basis I think about a man throwing live turkeys out of a helicopter.
Posted by: jpoulos on August 21, 2002 11:53 PMI was afraid that if I didn't speak up I'd be cast as one of those turkeys.
Posted by: bmarkey on August 21, 2002 11:56 PMCrash- if you'll recall that same photograppher took pictures of Andy Travis in a speedo.
Kaf is waiting for his close-up Mr. De Mille
Posted by: jonmc on August 21, 2002 11:56 PMI no longer have the hair, actually, so I don't know if I qualify.
Who's gonna be Boner from Growing Pains? Or ALF?
Or Mr. Belvedere. Maybe I'll be Mr. Belvedere. Or that sassy butler from The Fresh Prince. He's so sassy! Love the butler! Sass! Or Benson from SOAP. Man, was that cat sassy!
No! Wait! I want to be Exedor from Mork & Mindy. And then, on weekends, I want to be the extremely sassy Bentley from The Jeffersons. Does it get any sassier than Bentley? I think not! That sassy mofo was doing double duty, getting 9's painted on his sassy-ass head on Sesame Street! How sassy is that?!
I can't stop saying sassy! Help me!
Sassy!
The image of Sherman Helmsley walking on that guy's back scarred me for life.
Posted by: jpoulos on August 22, 2002 12:00 AMI had to google Bailey Quarters, which means I'm probably too young to be playing, but it seems a Cloth Monkey likes her well enough.
(Big fat HA! for donger as ReRun--too funny.)
Posted by: brittney on August 22, 2002 12:01 AMBailey was supposed to be the Plain Jane next to Loni Anderson's Jennifer, but everyone knows she was hotter.
Posted by: jpoulos on August 22, 2002 12:02 AMAnd I think it's pretty obvious that ALF would be played by thomcatspike.
Posted by: jpoulos on August 22, 2002 12:04 AMbritt- we could always give Bailey Quarters to cowboy sally, she's our alternate.
I also reserve the role of Radar O'Reilly. I just like saying "Golly" and he does it a lot and got be "Corporal captain for a few fleeting hours.
Posted by: jonmc on August 22, 2002 12:04 AMJon, I see you more as that guy the cook guy on M*A*S*H. What was that sassy cat's name again? Igor or something.
It'd be cool to be Col. Flagg too.
Posted by: kafkaesque on August 22, 2002 12:07 AMI don't give up that easily, jon. Cowboy Sally would have to thumb wrestle me for it or something, at least.
Posted by: brittney on August 22, 2002 12:08 AMHawkeye and Trapper would of course be Eyeballkid and Adampysche. Who'd be Hot Lips?
Posted by: jonmc on August 22, 2002 12:13 AMEveryone is everyone, grasshopper.
I'd be Kwai Chang Kane.
He was sassiest of all.
Posted by: kafkaesque on August 22, 2002 12:15 AM*sings*
The man they call
Kwai Chang Caine,
they call
Kwai Chang Caine,
he was the sassiest of them all....
Posted by: jonmc on August 22, 2002 12:26 AMGood lord. 9622-induced Kung Fu mini-flashback.
You will be ready to leave when you can snatch this fly from my hand ... (or some such, can't fully remember)
* dozes off *
* goes to bed *
Posted by: yhbc on August 22, 2002 12:30 AMYa'll can have your fun just so long as I can be Freddy "Boom Boom" Washington. So who's up for Arnold Horshack.
Posted by: Ufez Jones on August 22, 2002 12:50 AMcan i be that creepy little robot fucker from small wonder? i think her name was vicki.
Posted by: pikachu lolita on August 22, 2002 12:52 AMI wanna be Punky Brewster, described on one site as being full of "pluck, sass, and downright adorability...." Both pluck AND sass? How can I resist?
On the other hand, the combination might be nausea-making in the cute-itude department.
Posted by: readymade
on
August 22, 2002 01:07 AM
OOH! OOH! i wanna be sloane from ferris bueller's day off!
Posted by: pikachu lolita on August 22, 2002 03:14 AMMaybe I'll be Kitt, the car from Knight Rider.
On second thought, Mr. Hasselhoff would be sitting on me all the time. That can't be good....
Posted by: readymade on
August 22, 2002 03:21 AM
If we are talking sitcom, sorry...ya gotta cross the Flying Nun with Roseanne if you want the REAL bunnyfire.
Posted by: b****fire on August 22, 2002 06:45 AMyou can stop saying sassy! by saying saucy! instead...
Posted by: adampsyche on August 22, 2002 06:58 AM
![For anyone who doubts her beauty. [a big-ass pic]](http://www.clothmonkey.com/images/jan.jpg){kind=link}
great, so i'm the blonde who is not as hot. thanks guys. while you're at it, why don't you kick me when i'm down.
on another note, i know gordon jump's daughter.
Posted by: witchstone on August 22, 2002 09:16 AMIs it just me, or is Adam just a little irritable this morning?
Posted by: b****fire on August 22, 2002 09:41 AMCan I be Patrick Duffy as the Man from Atlantis?
No? *sigh* OK then, I'll be Webster.
Posted by: jpoulos on August 22, 2002 09:41 AMCan I be Hot Lips? If not, can I be Radar's teddy bear?
Posted by: romakimmy on August 22, 2002 10:48 AMmaybe us outcasts can start a pirate radio station. i'll still get the coffee.
Posted by: adampsyche on August 22, 2002 10:58 AMtj, we didn't forget about you. You're Jessica Fletcher from "Murder, She Wrote"
Posted by: jpoulos on August 22, 2002 11:22 AMWell, obviously i have a soft spot for "Bewitched," but I'm definitely Serena, not Samantha.
Posted by: witchstone on August 22, 2002 11:22 AMI think Brittney deserves the role of Bailey more than I do. I always felt more like a cross between Lauren on Square Pegs and Monroe on Too Close for Comfort.
(And why did no one tell me Johnny Slash was dead?)
Posted by: cowboy_sally on August 22, 2002 11:40 AMLamont Sanford? TJ, I always thought of you more as Yomana from Barney Miller, If you wanna know the truth.
Posted by: jonmc on August 22, 2002 12:36 PMWait, wait...*I* wanna be Hot Lips! Or, barring that, either Cagney or Lacey...or Kate or Allie...or some other smart-assed, capable, yet sassy woman.
Bring it ON!
Posted by: roe/metrocake on August 22, 2002 01:21 PMBring it ON!
Man, as if I don't do enough smackdowns while dressed in a brazilian bikini standing in a tub of lime Jello at work...
Posted by: romakimmy on August 22, 2002 01:44 PMcowboy_sally and brittney thumbwrestling..
romakimmy and roe jello wrestling..
*mental images congeal*
input overload..can't...take...stimulation...
*clutches chest*
*keels over dead*
Posted by: jonmc on August 22, 2002 01:46 PMOh, heavens. Jello-wrestling again?! Can's we do something a little different this time, like whipping each other gently with red tulips in the midst of the Peruvian Jungle while wearing fur loincloths and massaging each other's bruises with warmed, fragrant oil?! ;D
Posted by: roe/metrocake on August 22, 2002 02:03 PM*frantically applies paddles to own chest*
*realizes he kind of enjoys the buzz it gives him*
Posted by: jonmc on August 22, 2002 02:05 PMHow about Rock, Paper, Scissors? Best 2 out of 3.
Wearing the fur loincloths, of course.
We should really give jonmc some mouth to mouth rescessitation (sp)...it'd be a crying shame to lose 9622's Johnny Fever
Posted by: romakimmy on August 22, 2002 02:14 PM*begins wondering if he's already died and gone to heaven*
Posted by: jonmc on August 22, 2002 02:31 PMLamont Sanford? TJ, I always thought of you more as Yomana from Barney Miller, If you wanna know the truth.
you may be on to something there
Posted by: tj on August 22, 2002 02:58 PMThat's the second time you've mentioned those dieties, Dr.McNally? Are they any good? Low carb or low cal? :)
Posted by: Miguel on August 22, 2002 07:15 PMDude, the foreign kid is making fun of your spelling. you gonna stand for that?
Posted by: jpoulos on August 22, 2002 08:27 PMI'm a lover not a fighter, jpoulos. Actually I'm neither, I'm a miner..or a major or some damn thing...
Posted by: jonmc on August 22, 2002 08:50 PMTarlek? That's it you bastards, I'm pulling a Steven Den Beste!
*stomps off, cursing, fighting to hide tears*
Posted by: stavrosthewonderchicken on August 22, 2002 11:02 PM*tackles stavros' polyester encased ass, and grabs him in bear hug*
Posted by: jonmc on August 22, 2002 11:07 PM* comes running out of the office, all flustered and confused *
Posted by: yhbc on August 22, 2002 11:10 PM*does something vaguely stepnfetchity, only with the added comic bonus of man-tits*
Posted by: Rerun on August 23, 2002 12:17 AM*refers to readers as "babies", makes thinly veiled drug reference"
Posted by: johnnyfever on August 23, 2002 12:22 AM*Takes nude pictures of Jennifer*
Hey, you go with what you know.
Posted by: Crash on August 23, 2002 12:44 AMI would like you all to know that until this thread falls off the "recent comments" queue, I will have the theme song to WKRP stuck in my head. Stuck! It's been planted there for two days, and I hold you personally responsible for any future damage that may occur due to my WKRP-related psychotic episodes.
Thank you for your understanding.
Posted by: readymade on
August 23, 2002 12:48 AM
I would like you all to know that until this thread falls off the "recent comments" queue, I will have the theme song to WKRP stuck in my head.
Just do like I did & think of the song they played over the end credits. You know, the one with the nonsensical lyrics?
If that fails, there'a always The Lion Sleeps Tonight.
Posted by: bmarkey on August 23, 2002 01:28 AMWee-dee-dee-dee-da-wee-dee-dee-dee-da-wee-dum-bum-ba-wayyyy....
A weem-a-weh, a weem-a-weh, a weem-a-weh, a weem-a-weh...
*runs for cover*
Your posts are clearly a part of the evil plot to keep this thread at the top of the list. Your plans are transparent to me!
*hums a bar from "Lion Sleeps Tonight," hopefully bludgeoning WKRP into submission*
*realizes folly by noticing that I have now put this thread at the top of the queue by posting*
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Posted by: readymade on
August 23, 2002 02:20 AM
Look, you guys and gals are all like family to me. Odd, possibly criminally insane family, but family nonetheless. So, I would like to say something heartfelt to each and every one of you, and I mean this from the bottom of my heart.
Pull my finger.
*packs Crash's bags right back up*
*puts fingers in ears, and despite better judgement hums "Lion Sleeps Tonight," falling prey to all Crash's nefarious and intricate plots*
Posted by: readymade on
August 23, 2002 03:14 AM
You take the good
You take the bad
You take 'em both and there you have
The Facts of Life
The Facts of Life
Does that help with your WKRP problem, readymade?
Posted by: witchstone on August 23, 2002 12:26 PMCurse you, bitchstone.
"When the world never seems, to be livin' up to your dreams..."
Posted by: ColdChef on August 23, 2002 12:27 PM"What would we do, baby
Without us?
What would we doooooo, baby
Without us?
Sha-la la la"
Posted by: jpoulos on August 23, 2002 12:36 PMToo...many....conflicting....catchy....songs! Can't...function!
"Love is all around no need to waste it.
You can have the time,
Why don't you take it?
You're gonna make it afterall"
on
August 23, 2002 12:40 PM
surprisingly, you are the first to call me bitchstone, coldchef.
i like it!
Posted by: witchstone on August 23, 2002 12:40 PMsurprisingly, you are the first to call me bitchstone, coldchef.
I KNOW! It seemed odd to me, too!
Posted by: ColdChef on August 23, 2002 12:43 PMi like stitchbone better.
dammit, adam, i'm a doctor not a---wait a minute.
Posted by: witchstone on August 23, 2002 12:51 PMLook at what's happened to me,
I can't believe it myself;
Suddenly I'm up on top of the world,
Should've been somebody else.
Believe it or not,
I'm walkin' on air,
I never thought I could feel so free;
Flyin' away on a wing and a pray'r,
Who could it be?
Believe it or not, it's just me.
Just like a night of new day,
It hit me from out of the blue;
Breakin' me out of the spell I was in,
Makin' all of my wishes come true.
Believe it or not,
I'm walkin' on air,
I never thought I could feel so free;
Flyin' away on a wing and a pray'r,
Who could it be?
Believe it or not, it's just me.
This is too good to be true,
Look at me
Falling for you.
Believe it or not,
Believe it or not,
Believe it or not,
Believe it or not.
Believe it or not,
I'm walkin' on air,
I never thought I could feel so free;
Flyin' away on a wing and a pray'r,
Who could it be?
Believe it or not, it's just me.
Believe it or not,
I'm walkin' on air,
I never thought I could feel so free;
Flyin' away on a wing and a pray'r,
Who could it be?
Believe it or not, it's just me.
That was dirty pool, romakimmy.
I see your "Last American Hero," and I raise you a "Brady Bunch:"
Here's the story of a lovely lady
Who was bringing up three very lovely girls.
All of them had hair of gold, like their mother,
The youngest one in curls.
Here's the story, of a man named Brady,
Who was busy with three boys of his own,
They were four men, living all together,
Yet they were all alone.
Till the one day when the lady met this fellow
And they knew it was much more than a hunch,
That this group would somehow form a family.
That's the way we all became the Brady Bunch.
The Brady Bunch,
That's the way we all became the Brady Bunch.
The Brady Bunch.
on
August 23, 2002 01:09 PM
I see your Brady Bunch and raise you....
Sunny day
Sweepin' the clouds away
On my way to where the air is sweet
Can you tell me how to get
How to get to Sesame Street
Come and play
Everything's A-okay
Friendly neighbors there
That's where we meet
Can you tell me how to get
How to get to Sesame Street
It's a magic carpet ride
Every door will open wide
To happy people like you
Happy people like
What a beautiful
Sunny day
Sweepin' the clouds away
On my way to where the air is sweet
Can you tell me how to get
How to get to Sesame Street...
How to get to Sesame Street
How to get to...
Yeah. I'm evil. Deal. ;-)
Posted by: romakimmy on August 23, 2002 01:14 PMFeh. Amateurs....
People let me tell you 'bout my best friend,
He's a warm hearted person who'll love me till the end.
People let me tell you 'bout my best friend,
He's my one boy cuddly toy, my up, my down, my pride and joy.
People let me tell you 'bout him he's so much fun
Whether we're talkin' man to man or whether we're talking son to son.
Cause he's my best friend.
Yes he's my best friend.
Ha! I have the ace up my sleeve, which I now pull out:
Hey there where ya goin',
Not exactly knowin'
Who says you have to call just one place home.
He's goin' everywhere,
B.J. McKay and his best friend Bear.
He just keeps on movin',
Ladies keep improvin'
Every day is better than the last.
New dreams and better scenes,
And best of all I don't pay property tax.
Rollin' down to Dallas,
Who's providin' my palace,
Off to New Orleans or who knows where.
Places new and ladies, too,
I'm B.J. McKay and this is my best friend Bear.
on
August 23, 2002 01:20 PM
HA! I have no idea about those last two. Pbbbt. I fart in your general direction. ;-)
Posted by: romakimmy on August 23, 2002 01:21 PMFlintstones, meet the Flintstones,
They're a modern stoneage family.
From the, town of Bedrock,
They're a page right out of history.
Let's ride,
with the family down the street,
Through the courtesy of Fred's two feet.
When you're, with the Flintstones,
Have a yabba dabba doo time,
A dabba doo time,
You'll have a gay old time!
bunch of fuckin' amateurs...
She's a small wonder, pretty and bright with soft curls.
She's a small wonder, a girl unlike other girls.
She's a miracle, and I grant you
She'll enchant you with her sight
She's a small wonder, and she'll make your heart take flight.
She's fantastic, made of plastic,
Microchips here and there.
She's a small wonder, brings love and laughter everywhere.
While googling for the smurfs theme song I got this as the number one result.
Color me disturbed.
Posted by: romakimmy on August 23, 2002 01:30 PMAbout "farting in my general direction," I just put that sample on a mix cd for a friend of mine. Brilliant.
*spanks metal helmet at romakimmy*
Posted by: readymade on
August 23, 2002 01:52 PM
Spanking metal helmets? Now *there's* one I haven't tried...
Posted by: romakimmy on August 23, 2002 01:59 PMLadies and Gentlemen, I present the Motherlode. A song so insidious, it will not leave your head for at least 48 hours. If you don't know it, count your blessings.
Hot in Herre by Nelly
It's getting hot in herre
So take off all your clothes
(I am gettin' so hot, I wanna take my clothes off)
Repeat ad nauseaum.
Posted by: witchstone on August 23, 2002 03:03 PMJohn, did you get the memo abou--
Oh. um. I'll just come back later.
Posted by: Lupo's coworker on August 23, 2002 03:06 PMMy god! It actually works! My plan for World Domination is slowly falling into place!
Posted by: Mad Scientist on August 23, 2002 03:07 PM*gazes upon store full of naked clients*
*shrugs, then takes off clothes and offers to give a "special demo" of the flatbed scanner*
Posted by: jonmc on August 23, 2002 05:53 PMThat's a fine picture you've scanned. Great tone, good color balance....but what are those things there?
Oh.
Never mind.
Posted by: readymade on
August 23, 2002 06:00 PM
So how long till you see a tv series based around blogs?
Posted by: thomcatspike on August 23, 2002 06:52 PMKiss my ass, all of you...
Love...exciting and new,
Come aboard,
We're expecting you-
And love, life's sweetest reward,
Let it float.
It floats back to you-
The Love Boat,
Soon we'll be making another run.
The Love Boat,
Promises something for everyone-.
Set a course for adventure,
Your mind on a new ro-mance.
And love... won't hurt anymore,
It's an open smile, on a friendly shore.
It's love-, welcome aboard it's lo-o-ove...!
And it's the "double-space" boat too, apparantly...SORRY!
:: grabs the "love dinghy," floats away utterly mortified ::
Posted by: roe/metrocake on August 23, 2002 07:10 PMThe double-space boat
Soon will be making another lengthy run
The double-space boat
Promises lots of white space for everyone...
Posted by: Crash on August 23, 2002 07:38 PMSet a course for the white space
Your mind on a scrolling page.
And looooove ... won't wait anymore.
It's an open thought, on a lengthy post.
It's looooooooove. Welcome aboard it's looooooooooooooooooove.
Posted by: pardonne moi on August 24, 2002 12:08 AMDue to recent cutbacks:
The Love Bus
Soon will be making a wide right turn....
Posted by: MarsCrash on August 24, 2002 03:41 PMA note about posting images:
We encourage users to post images, especially those hilarous pics of monkeys
wearing dresses or programming for Linux. But posting images that reside on someone
else's server is considered by many to be bandwidth theft. Our thoughts
on the matter, along with some solutions to the problem, can be found
here. Thanks.
In an effort to help eliminate spam (and to preserve the sanity of the 9622 Volunteer Simian Spam-Cop Brigade) all threads older than 30 days will now be closed to comments.