9622.net

Dorky songs?

It's tough to top "Rocky" by Austin Roberts.

And she said,
"Rocky, I've never had a baby before
Don't know if I can do it
But if you let me lean on you
Take my hand, I might get through it" (through it)
I said, "Baby, oh sweet baby
It's love that sets us free
And God knows if the world should end
Your love is safe with me"

Oh, and I also love "Honey" by Bobby Goldsboro.

So there.

:P

Does Ballroom Blitz count as dorky, or is it so retro it's cool again?

Ready, Steve?

For starters:

Time Passages
by Al Stewart

*opens latest issue of Vanity Fair MOJO, drops dead.

You mean Sweet weren't cool all along? Aw, shit...

Question:
Has anyone else ever heard Sweet referred to as "The Sweet?"

Oh my lord (no offense bunny).

Um, the man in the back (heh) looks like Ricardo Montalban as Khan.

*ducks poo*

I won't go home.

Seems as though they have rotating pictures on the page. You must refresh until you get to the one where they are all in black and Ricardo is in the back leaning on something. You'll know which one when you see it, trust me.

anathema - I've heard it both ways, with The Sweet edging out just plain Sweet.

And I'd have to go with Year of the Cat, from the same Al Stewart album.

And I still get misty eyed when I hear:

"...and when no hope was left in sight
on that starry, starry night
you took your life as lovers often do..."

Apparently, I am a sap.

Actually, both Time Passages and Year of the Cat originally appeared on separate epononyously titled records. Although they both must appear on collections together. Sorry to split hairs but we are talking about All Fucking Stewart here. There is a little write up or review or something in the latest MOJO about him, including a great picture frome his folkie days.

Screw.

Eponymously.

That would be Mr. Al Stewart, as opposed to the aforementioned Mr. All Stewart.

I think just plain old "Sweet" wins out in my experience in the rawk.

Er... I meant to say "from the Al Stewart album of the same name. Yeah, that's exactly what I meant.

Not only am I a musical geek, but one with a faulty memory to boot. I'll just nip 'round the back and shoot myself, shall I?

* runs *

Woops. Screwed that one up.

Ever since I saw The People vs. Larry Flynt I've rediscovered my appreciation for Dream Weaver by Gary Wright (who???).

Ooh dream weaver
I believe you can get me through the night
Ooh dream weaver
I believe we can reach the morning light
Fly me high through the starry skies
Maybe to an astral plane
Cross the highways of fantasy
Help me to forget today's pain

Talk about schmaltz!

Posted by: readymade on September 10, 2002 11:52 PM

Gary Wright(who???)

The esteemed Mr. Wright is also the visionary behind "Love is Alive" which by sheer coincidence I was listening to about 10 minutes ago.

Schmaltz it may be, readymade, but sweet sweet schmaltz, though hah?

Sweet, sweet schmaltz.

Posted by: readymade on September 11, 2002 12:00 AM

My uncles and I actually invented a dance move that went along with Love is Alive. I'd describe it to you now, but I'd like to hold onto the one tiny molecule of coolness I still possess.

In an attempt to redeem myself, I give you I'm Not In Love, by 10cc.

I'm not in love, so don't forget it
It's just a silly phase I'm going through
And just because I call you up
Don't get me wrong, don't think you've got it made
I'm not in love, no, no, it's because...

You know you want to sing along.

Man, listening to that snippet of "Love is Alive" put a spontaneous smile on my face. So groovy.

I mean, um, that sucked.

Posted by: readymade on September 11, 2002 12:08 AM

Speaking of sweet sweet schmaltz, here's an old fave:

Who draws the crowd and plays so loud, Baby, It's the Guitar Man...

10cc is cool.

Me and You and a Dog Named Boo, however, is a ripe bit o' cheese.

And just to guarantee that my cool card is forever revoked, here's a few more:

"A Lover's Concerto" The Toys
"I Know a Place" Petula Clark
"Take A Chance on Me" ABBA
"Tip Toe Through The Tulips" Tiny Tim
"Different Drum" Stone Poneys

and of course..

"Romeo's Tune" Steve Forbert

Meet me in the middle of the day
let me hear you say everything's okay
bring me southern kisses from your room

Meet me in the middle of the night
let me hear you say everything's alright
let me smell the moon in your perfume

I am a dork. Careful or I will infect you all.

:)

My friends' band does a great version of Take a Chance on Me, but sung over the tune of Inna Gadda Davida. Impossible to imagine without hearing it, but it's chillingly amazing.

Posted by: readymade on September 11, 2002 12:25 AM

and here's another tasty hunk o' cheese from the inimitable Pacfic Gas and Electric.

1: "Josie's on a vacation far away... come around and talk it over..."

2: "Oh it's hard to make a living...something something something... work your fingers to the bone and get NOTHING but union scaaaa-ale..."

3. "...I'm forever your girl..."

*sobs*

For some reason "Jackie Blue" - Ozark Mountain Daredevils really does it for me. That and "Aimee" from Pure Prarie League...

Oh, gonna make me pull out the big guns, eh?

"Please come to Denver with the snowfall
We'll move up into the mountains so far that we can't be found
And throw 'I love you' echoes down the canyons
And then lie awake at night
'Til they come back around..."

or

"I think about winter when I was with her
and the snow was falling down
Warmed by the fire I love being by her
When there's no one else around
and I'm falling, woah, I'm falling
I'm falling in love with you
I think about summer my head was swimming
You wrote my name in the sand
We walked together hoping forever
Please don't let go of my hand
Cause I'm falling, woah, I'm falling
I'm falling in love with you
The fall and the springtime were like in between time
You're here and then you're gone away
Woah, I just wanted to stay
Won't you please, please stay
Cause I'm falling, woah, I'm falling
I'm falling in love with you
In love with you
In love with you"

All right, last one, I promise.

"Ben, the two of us need look no more
We both found what we were looking for
With a friend to call my own
I'll never be alone
And you my friend will see
You've got a friend in me
Ben, you're always running here and there
You feel you're not wanted anywhere
If you ever look behind
And don't like what you find
There's something you should know
You've got a place to go
I used to say
I and me
Now it's us
Now it's we
I used to say
I and me
Now it's us
Now it's we
Ben, most people would turn you away
I don't listen to a word they say
They don't see you as I do
I wish they would try to
I'm sure they'd think again
If they had a friend like Ben
Like Ben
Like Ben"

hmm... I like lots of cheezy stuff, so it's hard to pick just one. The trick is to pick the one that's not simply *cheezy* (because cheeze == kitsch, and kitsch is, of course, actually cool), but is just plain bad.

Erm, from that criteria, I'd have to say... Sussudio

(*hides face in shame*)

(either that, or Gino Vanelli's "Black Cars")

Pat Benatar
We Belong To The Night

That's all.

Bad for society when the KIDS start to get into it!

"Who wants to live forever" by Queen is about as close to true shmaltz as I am capable, but that is pretty g'dang shmaltzy.
That montage in "Highlander" where the squinty french guy with the monogloid forehead outlives his wife still chokes me up.

Look, shut up.

"Funky Cold Madina" by Tone Loc

Any selection from the libretti of Cats, A Chorus Line, Les Mis, Phantom, or Rent.

Nothing says "Dork" like randomly busting out into an off-tune rendition of "Memories" or Eponine's death scene...

Oh, and I also love "Honey" by Bobby Goldsboro.

I almost think having my fingernails pulled out with pliers is preferable to hearing that song.

I don't know if this really qualifies as cheese, but almost every song on Breakfast in America, by Supertramp.

Considering what day it is, the cover on that album is rather eerie.

"The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald"

As a tribute to the Bloom County thread, a selection from the catalog of Dan Fogerburp:
Longer than there've been fishes in the ocean
Higher than any bird ever flew
Longer than there've been stars up in the heavens
I've been in love with you
Stronger than any mountain cathedral
Truer than any tree ever grew
Deeper than any forest primeval
I am in love with you

*sniff*

oooh. good one, chef. I also like "Sundown".

some would consider the bulk of chet baker's catalog to be cheesy. but you should hear me croon along when i'm getting ready to go out.

I had no idea that Steve Forbert was considered dörkmusik. All these years and I've been impressing no one. ::cries::

Once upon a time I was very into Erasure and the Hooters. Oh God, and this song, too. But none of these is as embarassing as the fact that, as a result of my being bedridden (and extremely selfpitying) during its heavy-rotation stage on MTV, Aerosmith's "What it Takes" still makes me get choked up.

Not cool Aerosmith. Not Toys in the Attic Aerosmith. But cheesy, Janie's-Got-A-Gun, I'm on the verge of pimping out my sexy teenage daughter in my videos Aerosmith. And to this day, when I hear this song, I get all verklemt. Sheesh.

Is erasure dorky?

*hides erasure albums*

i forgot "tiny dancer" by elton john.

If it makes you feel better jpoulos I still listen to Erasure, dork or no. I suspect a lot of us secretly do--I once got one of those muscled, tattooed, greasemonkey/hotrod/rockabilly guys to admit The Innocents was one of his favorite albums.

If you listen closely to "Tiny Dancer", you'll hear that the real lyric is "Hold me closer, Tony Danza", which is much less dorky.

Paper Lace. The Night Chicago Died.

Oh, and Run Joey Run by some band I can't quite remember because I was more than likely shit-hammered.

Eewww, Gordon Lightfoot {pokes out eardrums with chopsticks}
Good cheesy tunes, the kind you can car-dance and sing along with:
Diana Ross: Ain't No Mountain High Enough
Dolly Parton: Here You Come Again
Anything from the soundtrack of Saturday Night Fever

"... she ran callin' Wildfire ..."

Was I the only one who was channel-flipping and came across David Naughton's "Makin' It" video on VH-1? Did I really see that or was it a fever dream?

Once upon a time I was very into Erasure and the Hooters.

I still don't like Erasure, but I will freely admit that "And We Danced" still gives me goosebumps. As does "Beth" by Kiss, "Angel" by Aerosmith and even "Faithfully" from Journey.

I feel so dirty.

Paper Lace. The Night Chicago Died

"Daddy was a cop on the East Side of Chicago..."

Then Daddy musta walked the beat in scuba gear cause the East Side of Chicago is Lake Michigan IIRC.

Heh, Tizzie.
Since I can pull a pretty good falsetto, I always find it satisfying to sing along with "Stayin'Alive".
Unfortunately, I don't know any of the lyrics beyond "Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk, I'm a woman's man, no time to talk... ", so I tend to just make `em up on the spot, with mixed results.
Recent variation as I was trapped with it in a Home Depot :

"Well you can tell by the way I squirt my caulk/ I don't know how/ and I can't stop/ ruined title and clogged the pipes/ ain't never get /muh deposit back,
now it's alright, it's okay "-ect ect...

You'll never convince me this isn't what Barry Gibb did, also.

Technically speaking, no. Once you get east of State Street, you are on the east side, but yeah, I still get a little pause when I hear that line.

*ahem*

You know I told you once tonight,
That you could always speak your mind.
You work so hard to say what's right.
I watch you do it all the time.

And when I called you on the phone,
You said that I could be the one,
But here I'm standing all alone,
And you're out lying in the sun.

Tell me, am I getting in too deep?
Every night I'm talking in my sleep.
Lately I am so confused.
I really don't know what to do.

Could you be the one I'm thinking of?
Could you be the girl I really love?
All the people tell me so,
But what do all the people know?

*collects Dork of The Century trophy*

I was raised on a steady diet of Barbara Streisand. Send in the Clowns and Porgy and Bess covers. Hel-lo Dolly.

*plucks trophy fom jonmc's grasp*

Sorry, luv.

I think I can do better, jonmc (though, on preview, it comes in second to romakimmy):

Laughing like children, living like lovers, rolling like thunder, under the covers...so I guess that's why they call it the blues.

Wow a lot were my first pick above, *splat* on you, some of these songs I rarely here on the radio in Dallas, but when I do, I must look silly going down the road.
Beatles, Here Comes the Sun
Tom Jones, What's new Pussy Cat ,
Siouxse & the Banchees Sioux, Dazzle gives me a tingleling sensation inside that makes me feel I can float on air
The Cult, She Sells Sanctuary, a must to dance, not good when driving
John Denver, Leaving on a Jet Plane, I always sing this during take off..........yes pass the chesse, please, ummm
One which the whole car says turn up,
Talking Heads, Were on a Road to Nowhere...

*awards dong resin the white polyester suit from SNF, taken posthumously from Gene Siskel*
That was beautiful, man.

Hey, I love that song, sally. I put it on a mix CD I made for my girlfriend (hand that dork trophy over now!).
But for me, it's all about the Cars.

i'm not the one
that you'll be shooting for
i'm not the one
who's coming back for more
you know why
we've been through this so many times
you know why
it's never clear it's pantomime
going round and round
'cause you can't get on your feet
going round and round
still taking all the heat
going round and round
never touching down
i'm not the one
whose memory you still keep
i'm not the one
who's talking in your sleep
you know why
i don't have to tell you twice
you know why
i knew when you weren't so nice
i'm not the one
that you'll be breaking in
i'm not the one
who could be taken in
you know why
i tried and tried to crack the shell
you know why
when you fake it's hard to tell

I can beat you all! I have a sick, nervous tendency to listen neurally to Atlantis by Iona Skye's father...

And for those of you lucky enought not to know it by heart:

The continent of Atlantis was an island
Which lay before the great flood
In the area we now call the Atlantic Ocean.
So great an area of land,
That from her western shores
Those beautiful sailors journeyed
To the South and the North Americas with ease,
In their ships with painted sails.
To them East Africa was a neighbour,
Across a short strait of sea miles.
The great Egyptian age is

But a remnant of The Atlantian culture... (goes in the same vein for another hour)

This was when I was supposed to be a strictly Dylan young Turk...

[dynasty]cowboy sally and ufez jones, both in shoulder-padded dress suits from Saks and thatchy blonde wigs, wrestle frantically for the dork trophy and both fall into the pool.[/dynasty]

crazily enough, one of my favorite is "love is like oxygen" -- which i could have SWORN SWORN SWORN involved at least one of Gibb brothers, or maybe even ELO -- but, no! apparently it's by Sweet! mentioned earlier in this thread! of who i've never heard! of requiring many exclamation points! this makes things, i suppose, twice as embarassing!

anyhow, i sing along in falsetto, usually.

Here's the worst Beegees page I've ever seen.

Odessa was a great album though; I don't care what anyone says.

Miguel - Same problem right here buddy. Although I like to mix it up with the "Season of the Witch" every now and then.

Miguel--

I love Donovan as well even stuff like "Barabajagal."

But whenever I hear Atlantis I can't help but picture that scene in Goodfellas where Pesci and DeNiro kick that Billy Batts guy to death in the bar.

I get a little misty eyed when I hear "Against All Odds" by the strangely large-headed Phil Collins. Something to do with emotional trauma at a Junior High School dance.

I...I need a minute here.

The Mandrel Sisters, Kenny Rodgers, Dolly Parton, and Sha-Na-Na were also included in my childhood diet of geeky music that I Can and Will Sing Along With. However, I did manage to draw the line at that stringy hair extention freak of nature Michael Bolton.

wow, you guys are dorks. when asked for cheesey songs you can barely scratch the surface. For example:
Yesterday I listened to the Soundtrack to "Newsies", Olivia Newton John's "Let Me Be There", and The Carpenters Greatest hits,

I recently prostituted myself for the "Never Ending Story" soundtrack on vinyl.

Give me time and I will run through your stinking award like something that runs really fast.

Spill it, Kaf! I mean, "Against All Odds" - that conjures up a scenario far worse than the bucket scene in "Carrie".

Oh, we're pulling out the vinyl now? The ones I was listing were just the ones that happened to be within scrolling distance on my MP3 playlist at that moment.

Y'all go ahead with your pitiful attempts at cheesiness, then I shall drop the atomic bomb of cheese on you tonight, with pictures even.

I only have records. I have a few leftover mp3s from various boyfriends who play with my computer when I go to work. Remember: That was what was played on my record player, yesterday.

I secretly *heart* Air Supply. It is my father's fault.

I secretly *heart* Air Supply. I also won't turn off Lionel Richie if I'm all by myself.

This is entirely my father's fault.

I secretly *heart* Air Supply. I also won't turn off Lionel Richie if I'm all by myself.

This is entirely my father's fault.

Triple fucking DAMMIT!

(I should be suspended from posting for one week until I get my shit together.)

(I swear to god I refreshed like 400 times.)

I love can't slow down.

I liked the Spice Girls. And Air Supply.

curse you, Mr. McNally, for creating a thread that is hypnotising me into laying bare the black mass of unhipness that is my inner geek...

"You Don't Bring Me Flowers," by Streisand and Diamond. Better yet, the 2Pac and Ice-T live version, where 2Pac introduces it as "some old-school hardcore shit from back in the day" or something.

"Indiana Wants Me," R. Dean Taylor.

"Girl Watcher," The O'Kayshuns.

"Without You," Harry Nilsson. Has to be the Nilsson version, where he sounds like he's straining to hit those high notes.

"Torn," Edna Swap. See above -- this song was a glossy pop hit by Natalie Imbruglia, but when the band who wrote it performs it, it's slowed down to funeral-dirge, the pedal-steel guitar in the pop version is traded for one much louder and more menacing, and the singer screams out the lyrics and sounds as if she might actually be "all out of faith."

"One Song," a Marvin Hamlisch save-the-world number I heard when he played at EMU a few years ago.

"Burgers and Fries," Charley Pride. A friend of mine made me a CD of "cheesy" songs, and this one was the standout, as Charley pines for more innocent times. Aside: yesterday at work I recited the chorus to Mellencamp's similarly-themed "Cherry Bomb" and they all just looked at me.

(I *heart* brittney. Air Supply fan club for 2?)

Preview, idjit, preview!

The spice girls were great. How can you not stand behind that? That video was a single take. They were giggly bumpkins. Romakitty, have you perhaps not read the subsequent autobiographies? those girls RAWK!

Er, I'm getting carried away, apologies romakimmy

I LOVE LOVE LOVE that Neil Diamond/Barbara Streisand song. I used to make my (ex)boyfriend sing it with me every night at 3AM. The apartment complex where we lived really appreciated it!
I just found, disgarded as though it were trash on the street, "You Don't Bring Me Flowers" prior to this, I listened to the version from Neil Diamond's greatest hits vol. 2

What I'm listening to at this exact moment...

I'm need to grated and put on top of spaghetti, I swear.

romakimmy: Doll, we can make love out of nothing at all.

This entire thread is going to be like one of those nights that you feel really sheepish about on the morning after. I warn you.
*skips away, wearing her 'I *heart* Harry Nilsson' t-shirt*

Oooooo. That Robbie Williams and Nicole Kidman duet rocks my world. Really.

No sweat, goneill. :)

Pullin' out the big guns, eh?

My best friend and I used to hang out in the church nursery during summer nights (my mom works at the church, so we'd snag her key). We'd have some chats, play with play-doh, and listen to, oh yes....Raffi Records.

Who built the ark?
Noah! Noah!
Who built the ark?
Brother Noah built the ark.

I've also seen the Monkees live. In 1997. I have a Mickey Dolenz t-shirt, that oddly enough, most people think is Randy Travis.

come on eileen
oh I swear...

(please kill me)

I met the Nelson twins. On purpose.

More than wooo-oords...

c'mon romakimmy. the nelsons didn't sing more than words. that was Extreme.

Now....afterrrrrrr the raiiiiiiiin washes away the tears, and all the paiiiiiiiiin

REO Speedwagon

More than words is by Extreme, not Nelson (and I draw the line there.)

My music fiend ex-boyfriend (who owned 1,500 CDs at the age of 24 before he installed a CD burner) unabashadely loves the Monkees.

Notice I said "ex-."

*crosses fingers this doesn't go up twice*

I also get misty listening to "Wide Open Spaces" by the Dixie Chicks and I think I prefer their version of "Landslide" to Stevie Nicks'...

plus I've got a raging crush on Natalie Maines. Something about babes with banjos.

*puts out hands to be cuffed*

take me away, i say...

We have a trolley stop by my office, so once in a while I play at work, Judy Garland, The Trolley Song, ding ding goes the..
How cheesie is that especially over the intercom.
I also played Here Comes the Sun, at the time G. Harrison died, not knowing, yet trying to spread some sun shine at work over the intercom.

Natalie. Mmmmmmm. I heartily agree. She's just as cute as Belinda Carlisle was before she got skinny.

1. Aside from my already-confessed appreciation for the work of Counting Crows, I like much of John Mellencamp's oeuvre.
2. I make no apologies for enjoying the Monkees. It is the best pop music ever.
3. Never "Faithfully". Always "Open Arms".

Also, is Oasis considered cheese yet? Cuz I karaoke a MEAN "wonderwall".

Oh, and at last count, britt, i owned over 3,000.

Bigger is better, right?

D'oh! Now that was a brainfart. I really must stop mixing up 80's pretty boy hair bands.

Speaking of my teen years, I worshipped Paula Abdul and the ground she tap danced on. And Bon Jovi is *still* a perennial favorite.I think my thin veener of hipness just commited harki kari...

Music related, as I am currently listening to it: A friend of mine has recently done a demo covering a few songs, her singing with guitar backup only ('nother friend). Her voice gives me goosebumps and *will* be on my mix for whenever the next swap is...

wow. you guys all win.

revel in your dorkage.

(i'm imagining this activity is kind of like staring at your hand while someone's talking to you, except clumsier.)

I just spent two hours in a dentist's chair with Lite-FM playing. I have a jukebox of dork songs on random play in my head, along with a numb gum.

Also, Bob Seger - "Still The Same"

Aha, I see Crash prefers his ladies curvy, like I do. Bless ya, brother.

and lupo, my man, if you added up all of my music, CD, vinyl, 45's tapes dubs, burned CD's and MP3s, then I think I passed 3000 a while ago.

Now where's my pissing contest trophy?!

Aha, I see Crash prefers his ladies curvy, like I do. Bless ya, brother.

and lupo, my man, if you added up all of my music, CD, vinyl, 45's tapes dubs, burned CD's and MP3s, then I think I passed 3000 a while ago.

Now where's my pissing contest trophy?!

My first two tapes ever were Rick Astley and Eddie Money. Touche'! And I still have a soft spot for Huey Lewis and the News, just b/c it reminds me of my dad.

And John Cougar is NOT cheesy music! At least I hope not.

And I still listen to my George Thorogood and the Delaware Destroyers Live album about once a month.

mc: i always admire a man who calls 7-inches 45s. Also, are you related to the person in charge of the astor place six train stop?

According to sources, neither the Monkeys or Morrissey are cheese. They are officially considered "punk."

Not to my knowledge, but there's a lot of McNally's in the NYC metro area so he could be a distant cousin:)

I left the thread early last night, and had NO IDEA how much cheeze you people were capable of pulling from your bonnets. I love that about you weirdos.

So, in a last ditch effort to top my previous cheezy selection, I can only admit that I have acquired and listen to with alarming regularity the entire soundtrack to West Side Story, and if feeling particularly jaunty (and very alone) I will even dance to it. Dancing in my undies, my slightly chubby frame soft-shoeing to "The Jet Song." Eek.

Posted by: readymade on September 11, 2002 04:24 PM

jon - i was thinking that it is a funny question when contrasted with "are you related to the road atlas people" - but you perhpas didn't know that i read that - so never mind. I'm going to go away now.

remember that one-hit-wonder that put out a cover of "Puttin' On the Ritz" back in the early 80's? Something just a bit decadent in that particular version, doncha think?

You guys are shaking the cobwebs out of my musical memory attic. Scary thing. Watch out for spiders...*cough*

Oh. I'm a dolt. I forgot all about posting that. Don't go away.

Odd Side Note: Here on my block in Bridgeport, we lost power for about an hour this afternoon. Nothing like an outage, today of all days, to give you a panic attack, huh?

Oh. I'm a dolt. I forgot all about posting that. Don't go away.

Odd Side Note: Here on my block in Bridgeport, we lost power for about an hour this afternoon. Nothing like an outage, today of all days, to give you a panic attack, huh?

I believe that gentleman was named Taco, bunnyfire, like the delectable south-of-the-border temptation we know and love, except with more hair gel.

I love that song bunnyfire.

jpoulos: Oasis on its own is sorta kinda cheesy at times.
However, Mike Flowers, not to mention the Royal Philharmonic, covering Oasis, are pretty doggone cheesy. (The latter I just happened to bring to work today; both will be played during dinner at my wedding reception. I hope also to sneak in "U2" by Negativland.)

You put hair gel on your Mexican food?

ronan keating covering fairy tale of new york?

well, half my music collection is more for the fun of it than the seriousness of it. i revel in cheese!

"don't mean nothin'" by richard marx. i still love that song. and "straight up" by paula abdul. "midnight blue" by ELO. "baby got back" by sir mix-a-lot. "hotel california" by the 9622-hated Eagles. the entire abba collection. i could go on and on, but i'll spare you.

and erasure is still one of my favorite bands. i never get tired of "a little respect."

i never knew exactly what was wrong with phil collins' head until this thread. thanks, kaf, it's been bugging me for lo these many years.

sir mix-a-lot is pure buttah, baby.

Britain, bring that Royal Philharmonic disc to work tomorrow, please.

(yes, the poor bastard has to work with me)

Hello and welcome, Britain.

The hazing won't hurt much.

The hazing wont hurt much.

**begins boiling gravy. Searches for funnel, hockey mask and anteater**

I've got the mucilage.

But where's the damn Velveeta?

In the freezer with Uncle Ned.

I thought he'd been quiet lately.

I admit it...I'm a closet Meatloaf fan...gods help me, if Paradise by the Dashboard Lightcomes on the radio...I'm a singing fool.

Ok, truth be told...if I haven't heard it in about 6 months, I'll go load up both Meatloaf CD's and play them really loud.

I dance around, sing all the lyrics, try to get my husband involved. He generally pretends he doesn't know me during these moments. Which seems only fair, really.

If it hasn't been already, I would like to submit the entire Bread catalog for uber-cheese status. And yes, I had the 8-track "Best of Bread" collection.

"if a picture paints a thousand words, then why can't I paint you?"

OK OK. I think we've made our point. Can't we go back to pretending to be cool now?

I'm willing to fake it if you are.

But some of you...I don't know if I'll ever lok at you the same way again.

open tag?

open tag?

man, that was buggin' me. carry on.

OK, ladies and gentlemen, I promised the A-bomb of cheese on vinyl.

Allow me to present:

Exhibit A

and

Exhibit B

I'd have taken a pic of Exhibit C, but (and this should give you an idea of its cheese quotient) my mother borrowed it and hasn't returned it yet.

Crash,

c'est fromage de l'ordre le plus supérieur, mon ami. Je vous salue.

*doffs chapeau*

Wait a frappin' minute, why the hell am I speaking French, yo?

Never Mind.

*holds line*
*remebers that love isn't always on time*

*blesses the rains down in Africa*

With all these Monkee (and monkey) fans, hasn't anybody mentioned "Joanne" by Michael Nesmith yet? I love that song.

OK, I'll mention her:

"Her name was Joanne
and she lived in a meadow by a pond
and she touched me for a moment
with a look that spoke to me of her sweet love"

Didn't Toto back Elvis Costello on My Aim Is True?

That was Clover, liam, who (believe it or not) devolved into the News as in Huey Lewis And...

Don't mention the clover!

Too late:

Ah, now I don't hardly know her
But I think I could love her
Crimson and clover

Ah when she comes walking over
Now I've been waitin' to show her
Crimson and clover over and over...

Now I'll never walk again.

Crash: Oh yes, it'll be Master Crash from now on. Is that stuff still legal in the States?

I still think Batman is cool.

I still think Batman is cool.

..and that's just how cool I think he is.

I still think Batman is straight.

Having the Xanadu soundtrack is badass Crash.

I can't help myself, I like that live Bon Jovi song "It's my Life" When it comes on in the gym, I run a little bit faster.

goneill, are you sure that you're not just trying to escape?

I had all the Monkees albums on vinyl, but now have a collector edition cd in a special Monkees logo guitar-case-shaped cover.

I also have the entire Cowsills family's autographs, except Mom.

Bow to the Cheese Queen!

*bows*

*takes last train to Clarksville*

Having the Xanadu soundtrack is badass Crash.

Well, you have to believe we are mgic, ya know...

Having the Xanadu soundtrack is badass Crash.

Well, you have to believe we are magic, ya know...

*let his love flow like a mountain stream*

Touche tizzie, touche

Oh Mickey you're so fine/ you're so fine you blow my mind/ Hey Mickey /Oh Mickey What a pity you don't understand/...

As big of a music dork that I am, I *loathed* New Kids on the Block unequivically

..and that's just how cool I think he is.

Dong and Kaf have truly mastered the art of the triple cherry or whatever you call the rejoinder that accounts for a double post and gives it meaning.

It's not an easy art but I'm agog (I've always been a bit of a gog) and just may start a thread about it.

But here's the catch: instead of words, we all choose a link, see...

*is furiously pelted by old organ meat*

i just borrowed bon jovi - live 1985 - 2001 from the girl 3 cubes down.

Is it me or did we all forget about Barry Manilow??

Or for that matter, Captain & Tennille?
I mean, we left out "Muskrat Love"!!!!????

*envies goneill because he has no cube, just a goddam counter*

jonmc - you're always one step ahead.

*He's always
one
step ahead
of you.*

Ah, the Finn brothers.

Yes, Mickey and his kid brother Dorsal(we called him Dorsey...)

*beats jon back to his counter*

There was only one Finn in the Enz, oopz.

Ok, name the film and the band.

now THAT's a tough one, A. especially since there's nothing there.

Frig. Is it a geocities thing? Let's try this.

all i see are lemons.

An invisible rabbit in a snowstorm?

One more time. Just don't peak at the URL ya cheatin' apes.

Spandau Ballet...The Krays

Spandau Ballet...The Krays

After all..they are twins.

Wow. I think this site mentions Spandau Ballet & The Krays more than any other site, except for perhaps a Spandau Ballet fan site. Or a Krays fan site, for that matter.

But anyway, this is partially my own damn fault.

Did you call me "boy"!?!

It'd be "boyo" if you were Welsh. Consider yourself lucky, Kaf! (Not to not be called boyo, which is fine; not to be Welsh, I mean.)

Not that there's anything wrong, etc... (Summer protection clause)

But I am half Welsh!

*sings*

No singing!

*he's going to tell*

*he's going to tell*

Please! Please! This is supposed to be a happy occasion! Let's not bicker and argue about who killed who...

Behold the power of cheese! Alphaville's Forever Young

Let's dance in style,
Let's dance for a while
Heaven can wait,
We're only watching the skies
Hoping for the best
But expecting the worst
Are you going to drop the bomb or not?
Let us die young or let us live forever
We don't have the power
But we never say never
Sitting in a sandpit,
Life is a short trip
The music's for the sad men
Can you imagine when this race is won?
Turn our golden faces into the sun
Praising our leaders,
We're getting in tune
The music's played by the madmen

I listened to this hideously overproduced and excruciatingly sentimental song for weeks once when we used it in a collegiate play I worked on and I've adored it ever since.

Unclean! Oh, unclean!

That hazing wasn't _so_ bad. I still smell like Velveeta though. Or is that Uncle Ned?

Do the Shaggs qualify as cheesy? I think "Shaggs' Own Thing [Vocal Version]" definitely qualifies.

The Shaggs are so cheesy they're not cheesy any more. I'd have to call "No Cheese" on the Shaggs.

Hey, is Chef off getting married right now?

Not yet. Still recovering from my birthday yesterday.

But the wedding is closing in.

Like the Death Star.

9622 Bachelor Party in Order?

I'd order some monkey strippers, but you know monkeys generally speaking walk around butt-naked all the time, lucky bastards...

Impending nuptials
Death Star destroying planets
Bouquets to be caught.

Impending nuptials
Death Star destroying planets
Bouquets Garters to be caught

When is the big day, chef?

and are you sick of people calling it "the big day" yet?

The wedding will be Nov. 2. The howl you hear at noon central time will be the sound of my soul escaping.

I did get some nice new cookware, though.

And it will be a "big day" indeed.

*wipes sweaty palms on pants*

And it will be a "big day" indeed.

*wipes sweaty palms on pants*

I'm drubk already.

9622 Bachlor Party in Order
Chefs location is a always a bachlor party, LA, NO.

Hey, happy birthday, Chef!

Sorry about the wedding, though.

"That's no moon."

Marriage is great--weddings, well, I eloped. What the hell do I know? Congrats, and congrats, and good luck at the death star. It can't be as bad as ol' Ben says it is....

Posted by: readymade on September 14, 2002 03:16 AM

mmmmm.....Calphalon.

Even better. All-clad.

sorry i didn't call as your long lost love. you haven't posted your phone number, though.

I'm sneaky like that. Seriously, I think as a September 12 baby, my birthday's ruined for the next ten years or so. Still, it could have been worse.

ummm, the thing also is that i just deleted the message you left. by accident. whenever i was feeling blue i would play it to myself and laugh really loudly.

and fuck that shit. as one who was there, i christen september 11th: 'the day before the chef's birthday'

Yay! I *heart* goneill. But...you knew that...

Goneill, you offered me a job in financial services?!

That was silly. Lives could have been lost.

oh the good old days. how i miss them. before thunderslutting had a name... i kind of feel like an old crone now - you kids. i have to admit though, chef, i'm going to shed a single tear november 2nd.

it doesn't work, dong. there is nothing that you can do at my place of employment that could possibly have an impact anywhere. i'm not dilbert, i'm the man from office space who wants to keep his red stapler. (can we keep this space as 'ours', boys?)

seeing that MeTa thread really makes me miss mlang.

Do you mlong for mlang, lupo?

me too, lupo, me too.

in keeping with the 'theme', cc, not only am i going to shed a single tear, and pour out a forty (i would actually never do that) but I'm going to play Tiffany's 'Couldave been'

i just reread that. ugh. that's awful. sorry world.

What ever happened to aaron? Is that old news? Did he have a second username?

Whatever, I'm full of crawfish and espresso.

are you lonely at your parents house too?

Late belated-b-day wishes Cold, Chef...
Here is shot for ya, a monkey brain, here you go, Oh , you want me to do it for you, thanks..gulp, mmmm

thomcatspike reminds me of that guy from Police Academy who made all the noises. *splat* *gulp* *mmmmm*

post, or suffer my wrath!

tum te tum just playing with the toys mmmmmmmm these things do help the constipation

Well, let me be the first to welcome the President to 9622.net! It's an honor to have you here, sir, although I am somewhat concerned about your post. But we don't pass judgment here!

Also, please make sure your daughters stop by.

Hey! I don't know that the Bush girls even deserve to be "thundersluts." The honorific should be doled out only to those of us who are, you know, thunderslutty. Now, that photo of them when they're all "mud-wrestley" and fallin' down on top of each other...well, that deserves an honorable mention, but nothing more. DO not reward the privileged the title "thunderslut..." There are too many who had to work very, very hard to get here.

Not that I'm threatened or anything. You know, by the Bush girls. Whatever. They can come by, but they can't have any of my beer.

Where is Romakimmy? She'd deliver a final, scathing verdict on this.

Please come back immediately!

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