9622.net

Heh. That reminds me of Private Eye's John Prescott cover.

Oh my god Miguel. I can see his kidney!

For nightfood use the musical microwave with the mirrorball.

Thomcatspike is your office manager?

MA: Listen, Betty, don't start your white zone shit again. There is just no stopping in the white zone.

FA: Really, Vernon, why pretend? We both know what you're talking about. You want me to have an abortion.

MA: It's really the only sensible thing to do. If it's done properly, therapeutically, there's no danger involved.

with all the jobs i have now in place from networking this morning, i'll be making more than i was at my old job. with less hours, and free hockey lessons!

This has nothing to do with the topic, but I didn't want to push Lupo's "We're working on the double-post thing" off the main page.

So, without further ado, I bring you:

A newborn baby orangutan.

crash, i was about to post that guy last night. i uploaded him to my yahoo briefcase, but didn't have the chance to post him. good lookin'.

Thank you, Crash. That is a wonderful photo. What a beautiful look in mama's eyes! Sigh.

not too zen, we had one in the restroom:
If you have contaminated the air
with tiny foul particles
Please leave light switch in the "ON" mode, Please
It was for the big wigs, you know the type that bomb the restrooms and leave, why is that?

SBDs are everyone's problem, Thom.

On Kevin's topic, a company-wide e-mail burst of hyperbolic enthusiasm. Why use only one exclamation mark, when 3 is so much better?
ANOTHER TRIUMPH !!!
This deal came with much help from Kim on Tuesday at around 4:00 P.M. Everyone jumped on it, the Closing Dept. got it done and what do you know another MIRACLE!!!
Mr. & Mrs. Klonicker were thrilled with the whole process!!!
GOOD JOB EVERYONE!!!
THANK YOU ALL!!!

Just don't tangle with clavdivs, Thom!

Reading that would almost fill the niche left by Twin Peaks being off the air.

Can clavdvis, tango, uh I took that as I made the above up?
The fan only works if the light is on, folks. The bathroom was one of those that you leave the door open when un-ocuppied.

Don't provoke him. Thom! Don't do it! Some of us have grown quite fond of you, you know!

From 9.11:
I just wanted to let you know that I received a call from the entire Executive committee who wanted to let us know they stand in solidarity with us today on this day of reflection and remembrance.

can we go home now?

As opposed to all those excective committees who stand in solidarity with the Taliban? That was rich, goneill.

Tizzie, are you in real estate? (duh.)

Close, bunny. I work for a builder. They knock down trees and then name subdivision streets after them. It's a noble career. I like to think of myself as a corporate whore.

I too have worked for a builder in the past.

Having done so, if I EVER have a house built, I will be on site every stinking day I can. (it's the subcontractors, people. One clue-check out behind the back for beer bottles.)

So, how much for a throw?

I'm going to build my house of straw.

fuck that... Wood is the way to go

Number three said nix on sticks!
I will build my house of Space Age Polymers that will last into the 21st Century...And Beyond!

building shmilding, dude, we all know wood is for baby making........

**regards all three little pigs appraisingly**
**sharpens cleaver**

Wow! How any types of bacon are there anyway?

You know by, like, October you'd be eating Long Pig.

I just read Kevin's post a little more closely, and realized his company's got the smartest microwave in the world.

crash, at first I was thinking maybe folks were nuking their food for next week to eat???yea TCS

Now, that they would nuke it then leave it in there forgetting about it a day or two, then you come along and eww...what is that smell, *splat*
O' you clean it out, no you,
O f-it its Mikey's food and eats anything,
but those tiny foul particles will be nuked into his fresh food when nuked,
Well he eats anything.
*spalt**splat*
leave the light switch on....(from above)

FOOD FOR THE DAY ONLY

"Today's secret food is....meatloaf!"

bunny that e-mail address, uh there is a swingers bar near me with a similar or same name. Also a beach in Hawaii, which if the same, a place of peace or something like that.
Meatloaf....um sounds good, with lots of crackers or bread crumbs in it..........*splat*
Have a nice weekend folks, *splat*

FOOD FOR THE MIND ONLY

I have never bombed a bathroom?
besides, who would be foolish enough to smoke pot in the bathroom, thinking the fan would eliminate all the smoke.

____j

>SBDs are everyone's problem, Thom.

Steven Den Beste? Where?!

*goes into commando stance, Belushi-style*

FOOD FOR FASCISM ONLY

He meant Silent But Deadly.

He meant Silent But Deadly.

Stereo!

There is a communication board where I work that allows the managers to relay info to us, using only the finest of grammar. On this board is a word of the day, that was, initally "profit's." [sic]

It got changed.

You work at Outback?

*hangs head*

Yup.

Hey it could be worse.

But honestly, I have never seen one place that had worse food on the menu. You can hear your arteries hardening just driving by.

We had a waiter try to rip us off at the local Outback's. But being a former waitress I knew the sneaky stuff when I saw it, and made him cough up our money.
Then I gave him a tip just to make him feel REALLY guilty.

who would be foolish enough to smoke pot in the bathroom, thinking the fan would eliminate all the smoke

clav, that same bathroom I mentioed above, I busted the owners doing that, well I din't nark. Just shared the knowledge of the smell at those friday noon to closing time work lunches, great especially when your under age at the time, the free drinks.

Britt: Can I get your thoughts on something? Having never worked in a restaurant, I was unaware of this practice known as "tip sharing", whereby all the waitstaff pools their tips at the end of an evening and it's divided evenly among them. Who came up with such a stupid idea, and what possible motive would they have--unless they're trying to demoralize a staff? Does the restaurant skim off the top or something? I can't imagine who this benefits at all.

As a fairly generous tipper--when I'm happy with the service, at least--it pisses me off to no end.

Tip share at my restaurant is not defined as your describe it, jpoulos, but that practice does exist elsewhere. My job requires servers to "tip-out" 3% of our total sales for the evening, to be equally distributed among the bussers, host staff and bartenders. So, for instance, if my sales are $1000 on a Saturday (typical) I'll give $30 of my tips away.

Tipping out is rationalized by managment by their suggesting that the bussers, host staff and bartenders help the servers to earn their pay and should be justly compensated. However, this is merely a guise that allows them to pay the majority of their staff only $2.13/hour.

Wish I knew more about the tip pooling you refer to but I would never work in a place with that policy. Your are right in assuming it would decrease morale, as well as individual earnings.

And, Kaf--did you know that our signature appetizer has (I shit you not) 400 fat grams?!

I can speak to the whole tip-pooling sham, having worked as waitron/bartender forever (although not now). It wasn't until a couple of years ago that I ever worked for a joint that engaged in tip-pooling. TIP-SCAMMING is more apt.

In a perfect world (and with my socialist sensibilities) we workers of the world would work hard, serve well, get tipped accordingly, and divide the spoils evenly come shift-end. Having a bad night? No problem; your monkey-brethren and sistren will pull the weight. Good night? Same deal.

What the reality was: I busted my hump because I'm obsessive. Others, with no personal responsibility and no incentive, gadded about gossiping and kvetching about how much it sucked working so hard. Thank god I only worked there a couple of months. Nice idea in theory, lame in practice.

Grudges held long? Noooooo.

Posted by: readymade on September 15, 2002 02:22 AM

I know of a Mexican restarant that tip-pools. But the workers are all related, they ALL bust their butts, and they are continually setting each other up with a restaurant of their own. Basically creating their own chain of restaurants.

And the food is fantastic!

But as I stated, the incentive is there to help each other.

Obviously the exception.

Food service jobs stink.

i cant condone toking at the work place but narking is bad.
for this thom...
your a johnson.

brit--I love how the winner of the contest posted on the board is not required to tip-share. What a bizarre prize, and of course it doesn't come out of Outba*ks pocket.

The whole premise of tipping just annoys the fuck out of me. Pay your people a goddamned wage, you ass-sucking restaurant owners, and stop expecting me to make up for your total lack of humanity.

And yes, I always tip at least 15%, usually more like 20% and on occasion 35-40%, like the other night when we went to a local Mexican restaurant early in the evening, ostensibly to avoid the dinner rush. There was only one waiter on duty, yet apparently half of the city had also decided to show up early, so this one poor kid was busting his ass hustling food all over that restaurant until help arrived some thirty minutes after we got there. Then the people in the booth next to us had the audacity to not leave a tip.

So I tipped him $15 on a $35 dinner tab. I hope he spent it on a bottle of booze, 'cause he deserved it.

But I'd still rather not have to. Raise the price of the meal so your people can actually pay rent with their checks, you heartless sum'bitches.

/rant

Oh, and my mood has improved immeasurably, thanks for asking.

Heh.

Glad to hear that, Crash. Really. Seriously. Dude.

You work at Outback?

*hangs head*

Hey it could be worse...

I know.

Just kidding. truth be told all jobs even remotely related to cows suck ass...trust me.

Although I will admit to liking Outbacks food. On my 30th birthday Lisa took me to Outback where I had the shrimp appetizer, the 20-oz porterhouse with sweet potato and a lobster tail and some kind of ice cream cake plus a fuckload of beer.

It's almost two years later and i think I'm still digesting it.

You work at Outback?

*hangs head*

Hey it could be worse...

I know.

Just kidding. truth be told all jobs even remotely related to cows suck ass...trust me.

Although I will admit to liking Outbacks food. On my 30th birthday Lisa took me to Outback where I had the shrimp appetizer, the 20-oz porterhouse with sweet potato and a lobster tail and some kind of ice cream cake plus a fuckload of beer.

It's almost two years later and i think I'm still digesting it.

...and it makes me see double, apparently.

Not related to Crash's mood or anything, but I was driving on a country road today and saw a large flock of what I think were turkey buzzards. They were all lined up on the posts of a fence beside the road -this pic is the same spooky kind of group. At first i thought they were some kind of bizarre fencepost decorations, uglier than homemade sin. But then a few of them flew away, and I saw two a few yards down the road having an unlovely lunch. MMmmm, nice.

I sure saw a lot of roadkill today, I tell ya. The highway between here and Idaho is filled with all manner of squished critters.

We took my wife's eightyish, frail, asthmatic, Alzheimer's-stricken grandmother to the Franklin County Medical Center in beautiful downtown Preston, Idaho to vist her elderly, frail, bedridden-due-to-stroke grandfather. What could have been a huge downer of a day was a joyful celebration of two people who, despite sixty-odd years of marriage and innumerable health problems, still got tears in their eyes at the sight of one another and spent the whole time together holding hands like teenage sweethearts. I can only hope and pray that, if my wife and I live that long, we still love each other as much as those two clearly do. What a wonderful thing to witness.

Let's see if I can kill that obnoxious italic tag.

Did i do that? sorry.

Actually, tizzie, it looks like it was Mr. McNally (Mcnally?) who left the open tag.

I hereby sentence him to a minimum of two hours of whatever his lady wishes him to do.

"McNally" as in Rand(no relation) is the correct spelling, my man.

She says she's "saving up" that two hour sentence you bestowed, crash.

You sick twisted bastard.

While I agree whole-heartedly with your non-tipping sentiments Crash, I do not think any restaurant could pay servers enough to compare to what they make in tips, if only for these reasons.

Servers make excellent money, the good ones anyhow. On an average weekend night my tips broken down into pay by the hour would be $15-$18/hr. Plus a sizeable portion of those earnings are not taxed by the government, so that we waiters get an entirely illegal tax break. No way restaurants could afford to operate with those kinds of labor expenses.

Also, your service would suffer immensely. Most servers I know are on the verge of quitting with every new day. The work itself is hard, but the enormous amount of shit and condescention a waiter takes on regular basis quickly takes its toll. Your smiling waitress doesn't like you, chances are she loathes you--she is merely there for the money. No one is gonna clean up your kids' mushed-up, wet, regurgitated Cheerios for eight bucks an hour.

*world's smallest violin plays just for the waitresses*

Brittney--awhile back me you and eyeballkid were talking about bulding a "bitch-about-yer-job" blog. I've got the domain--nametagnation.com--and some ideas(both funny and serious) to go with it. As I am graphically challenged, I'd need some design help but I think if we all got together it could kick ass. Anyone interested send me an email, maybe this could be the first spinoff of 9622 which is of course a spinoff of Mefi. This like "Good Times" which was a spinoff of "Maude" which was a spinoff of all in the family.

That could be a tagline for the new site--"The Web's answer to 'GoodTimes' "

As long as we're (kind of) discussing semi-edible type stuff here, I'll do a preview of coming attractions. I just started doing research on giant mushrooms, to put together a post on my own site, because last weekend we found this growing in our back yard (yes, that's a ruler sitting underneath the 'shroom). For even better perspective, here's another shot, with me holding the brobdingangian (or some such word) fungus on a shovel, and a smaller one at my feet. (sorry for the focus on that one).

Anyone have any suggested resources for finding out what the hell these things are? (and I do say "things" because a few more a growing on the bank as we speak.) A couple of local Italian-heritage types have said they're "good eating", but I'm leaning more towards "body snatcher" type pods myself.

I see your point, brittney, but you're talking about tipping in the civilized world, and I'm talking about tipping in Utah, where most people seem to think a dollar or two is sufficient for a party of eight. Seriously. Utahns are the worst tippers I have ever witnessed in my life.

For "a" in that last sentence, read "are". Fuck me, I'm drubk, the Pats kicked NYJets ass today.

that's why I always preferred third shift at Waffle House when I did the waitress gig. I'll take a booth full of drunks over a booth full of kids anyday.

But I do need to remember not to ask Irish soldiers if they are from England.(did that in Pensacola. Won't do it again. Trust me.)

Try The Fungal Jungal(sic), the Agarics.org database, and Mycosoft for starters, commish.

Then run away, as fast as you can, because they're clearly pod people.

Oh, and skip the mycosoft link, 'cause it's only a demo.

I'm half-drubk.

I think what you have there is the dreaded Giant Puffball, which surprisingly is neither a sex act nor a testicular affliction, but which does taste "earthy" and has "the texture of marshmallows".

Shit, I think you nailed it, Crash. And seeing as how they are "choice edibles" (in the site's words), I think I will continue my fungal cultivation, and hopefully retire a gentleman mushroom farmer. As far as I can tell so far, their only natural predators are slugs, which are well controlled with catfood cans full of beer, although it is quite an internal struggle to fill them. "Protect the mushroom?" "Drink the beer?" "Protect the mush - *sip* - wait, I'll start again - "

Thanks!

I may get a virtual beat-down for this, but behold The Dong_Resin Remix:

The original.

Dong_resin's Remix (currently the #1 file at the pile):

*uses the force--this is the post you are looking for*

*!@#$%^&*!

Not only did I double-post, but I got the url wrong for the orginal, photoshopped picture.

I struggle with simple tasks, yet I can sing the entire McDonald's menu.

So, you want mushrooms with that?

Jon, I'd very much like to discuss further the details of our possible nametagnation blog. How is best? Maybe we could call a group chat for those interested. Does AIM allow more than one chatter at a time?

Yes AIM/Trillian does, but perhaps tommorrow night cos right now I am pooped and am hitting ye olde sack.

For Bunnyfire, courtesy of misterpants:

Waffles for heroes

Did the donger do that? Very nice indeed. I hadn't even realized it was photoshoppificated when I saw it on the 'pile, as the guy on the right looks very much like a guy I used to work with in Oz, and the sort of thing he'd put on a whiteboard, and there's that whole Outback thing goin' on there...

Matthowie posted the "waffles for heroes" on the 9/11 thread on Big Blue.

what I find hilarious is that cops-at least around here-are supposed to be forbidden to take free food, etc. (even tho in Pensacola we always gave them free coffee.)

Before you all think that Waffle House is such a magnanimous company, be informed that this affects the bottom line, therefore affecting the manager's pay-their pay depends a lot on total sales and is affected by food costs. (my husband used to manage one.)

And to top it all off, unless I am mistaken, New York has no Waffle Houses.

It is indeed peculiar that you know more about MetaFilter than I do, MonkeyFibre.

she's good for your digestion, y'know.

No darlin', I just pay attention. ;-)

Ah, photoshop praise from the wonderchicken is high praise indeed.

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