Making an ass of yourself, American-style!
Normally the bowel and the ring of muscle around the back passage (anal sphincter) work together to ensure that bowel contents are not passed until we are ready. The bowel contents move along the bowel gradually. The sphincter has two main muscles which keep the anus closed; the inner (internal anal sphincter) ring, which keeps the anus closed at rest, and the outer (external anal sphincter) ring, which provides extra protection when we exert muscles ourselves or when we cough or sneeze. These muscles, the nerves supplying them and the sensation felt within the bowel and sphincter all contribute to the sphincter remaining tightly closed. This balance enables us to stay in control (or "continent").
So this is just a reversal of normal practice, I guess.
So, Crash, does this mean that you're officially well disposed towards us assholes again?
Posted by: Miguel on September 16, 2002 10:09 PMEhh, we're all just turds squeezed through the asshole of life..
Posted by: jonmc on September 16, 2002 10:09 PM"So, Crash, does this mean that you're officially well disposed towards us assholes again?"
Even those of us on the (in)continent.
:P
Honestly, is there any reason you can think of for which you would you poke your head into a giant goat anus? What could they possibly have hoped to find in there?
Posted by: Crash on September 16, 2002 10:18 PMI am in a foul fucking mood.
That is all.
This was the declaration of yours which got us worrying, Crash...
I assume it was only a gentle rib-tickling. Great!
Posted by: Miguel on September 16, 2002 10:34 PMHasta la vista, babies.
You may get more of me around here for awhile (at least in the evenings). Where can I get my Crotchedy-Old-ExMeFi-Contributor button? Do I have talk to jpoulos?
And actually (surprisingly enough) I'm in a pretty good fucking mood.
Posted by: yhbc on September 16, 2002 10:38 PM"I assume it was only a gentle rib-tickling. Great!"
Actually, Miguel, it was the God's-honest truth. I was in possibly the worst mood I have experienced in years, and I have no explanation why. Somehow my brain just went on the fritz and started spewing whatever's the opposite of endorphins (is it enkephalins?)...anyway, I am feeling much better now, thanks. I hope to not have a mood swing like that again for another seventy or so years.
Posted by: Crash on September 16, 2002 11:15 PMAnd this post is to see if my other post will post, post-error. Post-haste, even.
Posted by: Crash on September 16, 2002 11:18 PMRe-railing a thread is so gauche here, but doesn't this photo remind anyone of the short story by Nathaniel West where the protagonist passes through the alimentary canal of, as I recall, an ass? Or am I the only one who has read that one? I love Nathaniel West.
Re-de-railing: yhbc, why'd ya do it, man? Why?
Posted by: readymade
on
September 16, 2002 11:35 PM
Never read any Nathaniel West, but I remember a high school english teacher making a big deal about how, in the book "Deliverance", they went in the river at a town called "Oree" and came out at a town called "Aintree". As high-school kids, we didn't think much of that, but now I think it's a pretty neat, subtle, reference.
And I did it to make sure I do take a break, and stop getting worked up over the anal-retentives when I shouldn't be worrying about them.
Posted by: yhbc on September 16, 2002 11:40 PMAnd speaking of Nathaniel West, doesn't that MeFi story about the Cecil B. DeMille set being excavated (on MeFi) remind anyone of "Day of the Locust"? That was one of the most amazing novellas I ever read when I was a feckless teen....
I've apparently got "feck" now, although for the life of me I don't know where I put it.
Posted by: readymade
on
September 16, 2002 11:44 PM
I don't know anything about desperate mood swings, but I do know that it's always assholes who give you the truth.
Posted by: dong_resin on September 16, 2002 11:44 PMNever read any Nathaniel West, but I do remember a high school English teacher going on and on about how, in the book "Deliverance", they went in the river at a town called "Oree" (or some such) and came out at a town called "Aintree". As high-school kids, we didn't think much of that, but now I think it's a pretty neat, subtle, reference.
And I did it to make sure I do take a break, and to keep myself from worrying more about the anal-retentives than is healthy.
Posted by: yhbc on September 16, 2002 11:44 PMWow. Lengthy delayed double-post.
It was a long river, I s'pose.
Posted by: yhbc on September 16, 2002 11:45 PMsphincter soothsayer, the tight-lipped truth teller.
Posted by: whatnot on September 17, 2002 12:06 AMThis just in: dong_resin is an asshole.
A lovable asshole, true, but an asshole nonetheless.
Posted by: yhbc on September 17, 2002 12:17 AMTime for another conga line (Ozzie-flavoured, this time) :
Commish done spit the duh-mmy!
Commish done spit the duh-mmy!...
(For those not versed in the vernacular, 'dummy' is known in America as a 'soother' or 'pacifier'. To 'spit the dummy' is to, well, spit it out and starting howling in rage. This is not really a pejorative thing - it just means to lose your temper. Not unlike 'chucking a wobbly', another of my fave Aussie-isms.)
Posted by: stavrosthewonderchicken on September 17, 2002 02:11 AMI KNEW this had to be something to do with Burning Man.
Posted by: b****fire on September 17, 2002 07:32 AMNo offense to our dear Miss Bunny, but when SHE'S hip to the scene, the scene is officially dead. RIP Burningman.
And I say that with love.
Posted by: ColdChef on September 17, 2002 07:43 AMI would like some of that truth, but the likelihood of my removing my head from my own ass long enough to stick it into some Giant Truth-Goat's ass is small.
Plus, it looks like the only truth available in that goat's ass is that the person who sticks their head in there for some truth is stupid enough to stick their head in a giant fake goat's ass. Isn't that more truth than any of us need?
I mean, seriously, there could be a guy with a stick in there, whacking heads with aplomb.
Or today could be the fateful day they replace the fake goat with a real goat.
In general, as your self-appointed consiglieri, I advise all of you not to stick your head in that goat's ass.
Posted by: Unclefes on September 17, 2002 10:24 AMWhat I want to know is why on earth someone would go to the trouble of building a giant goat simply so people could stick their heads into its nether regions. I mean, where did the idea come from to begin with???
And did they CHARGE for the privilege?
Barnum was right.
Posted by: b****fire on September 17, 2002 11:06 AMI think it was, what to build to get interest in coming in to my private spot in the middle of no-where, Bunny, like hot woman. Which I might add, if I lived where I use to, I would have seen this in person as I would have driven there. It's a decandant party, yet the heat would have to drive you out of any ass during the day. I'm guessing about 110F+ degrees in that hot ass.
Posted by: thomcatspike on September 17, 2002 11:28 AMPS, for survival of still having some fun in these conditions some cover helps a lot, the shade.
Posted by: thomcatspike on September 17, 2002 11:32 AMThis fool thing is wrong sometimes, but my Universal Translator seems to indicate that Thomcatspike likes Bunnyfire.
I respectfully submit to the monkey-lective that we ban their kids from ever posting here.
Posted by: Unclefes on September 17, 2002 11:32 AMI mean, where did the idea come from to begin with???
Standard marketing procedure. From the Corporate Marketeer's Handbook, chapter 6, page 372, paragraph 9B...
[1] Identify target audience.
[2] Build giant goat's ass.
[3] Ask target audience to stick heads in goat's ass.
[4] Rake in cash.
[5] Repeat as necessary.
You musst be as tall as my hand to stick your head in the giant goat's ass.
Posted by: kafkaesque on September 17, 2002 11:41 AMYour head must be larger than a tomato and smaller than a watermelon to stick your head in the giant goat's ass.
Posted by: witchstone on September 17, 2002 11:48 AMI meant "like" in the "passing notes in study hall" sense of the word.
Posted by: Unclefes on September 17, 2002 11:59 AMI...have...no words to describe my happiness. I shall go to the Temple Thesaurus to sacrifice a goat, what a wonderful post...."rake in cash"...ohh man. VIVA 9622
Posted by: clavdivs on September 17, 2002 12:27 PMIt only takes one cloven hoofed mammal with a grossly oversized anus to make Clav happy.
Posted by: kafkaesque on September 17, 2002 12:33 PMHey, Unclefes, my monkey's uncle, My first thought seeing the goat, ok a decadent statue for B.M., no pun intended. Hey, I like that.
Be the Goat's B.M. @ Burinig Man
Then seeing the inside, well it reminded me of all the trips to the river, between the AR.& CA. border and Lake Havesu, and all the decandent fun in camping. Looking at the picture now, wow all the campers, must be more of a corporate thing. I bet most stay inside with their A/C running during the day. But at the river that was the fun, BeeR, water, the sun and the saying, Show us your TITs, and with with all, a smile. Which works when your around water, not sand. With the 90's you did get more than
B(.)(.)bs, actually that was the last to be shown....
AZ., not AR., AR. is my new border, whoops. Yet to be shown tits on any water around AR, or TX.
Posted by: thomcatspike on September 17, 2002 01:06 PM*ahem* Albuquerque. Unless, of course, one is referencing Bugs Bunny's lament, "shoulda taken a left toin at Albuquoique."
Posted by: whatnot on September 17, 2002 02:04 PMthomcatspike and clavdivs. Together at last. Viva 9622, indeed.
Posted by: pardon me on September 17, 2002 05:13 PMthomcatspike and clavdivs. Together at last.
I, for one, welcome our new lexicographically-inclined alien masters.
Posted by: Unclefes on September 17, 2002 05:17 PMOne would indeed be referencing Bugs Bunny.
(a personal mentor of mine.)
One would indeed be referencing Bugs Bunny.
(a personal mentor of mine.)
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