9622.net

I was just about to post this on my own site. This such a great meme.

As I said on Kevin's site:

"Here's a clue—if they say they're doing it in my name, they're lying.
—God"

Just beautiful.

meme in the making, i mean.

"I had Jell-O today"

- God

"I could really go for some nachos"

- God

Yeah. I posted it on my site but I liked it so much. Had to share it with the monkeys in the house.

E=mc². Yeah, that's one of mine.

Sweet.

Do as I say, not as you do.
- God

Don't drink the water; fish fuck in it.
- God

(Ok, I kid, I kid. I stole that from W.C. Fields. He was so drubk, he didn't even notice.)

Umm, about Michael Jackson. I was going through an experimental period.

-God

Tell Bono to quit sneaking into my closet and putting on my clothes or I'll smite him, OK?

--God

"He who fart in church sit in his own pew."
-Confucious on God

I remeber these billboards from a few years back.
And I mention this as I just read a blog, LoriLoo. Anyway I catch up with her and she is back in the states, and she sees a similar billboard and posted it too her blog, like what the f-ing is going on here.
Then, I'm thinkg where has she been, O yea Korea...I guess getting out of the States can be pleasant.......
I did notice an abundance of churches in Southern Cal back in May, what the f is going on, or is this just a form of bonding without alchol. Yes, I have a faith, not a billboard in my soul, and the pastor use to come to our house for wine and cheese.

Don't make me come down there, because if I do, I'm using the belt and someone's gonna get it.
-God

"Australopithicus was my first choice."

-God

"Sorry about the male nipples, I was in a hurry."

-God

"If I didn't want you to do that, I would've put it where you couldn't reach it."

-- God

They pancaked themselves,

If you didn't hear it straight from my lips, take it with a grain of salt.
-God

I ♥'ed Hudson Hawk. The rest of you are crazy.
-God

The male nipples thing made me laugh so loudly I sort of startled myself.

"No, I am NOT going to get you out of this one, and I don't believe for a minute you'd 'never drink again' if I did."

-God

"No, I am NOT going to get you out of this one, and I don't believe for a minute you'd 'never drink again' if I did."

-God

You're not killing anyone and I certainly will not be sorting them out.
-God

If Lee Greenwood doesn't stop telling me to bless the USA, I'm giving him nut cancer.

-God

Bitches ain't nothing but tricks and hos.

-God

Boobies. Your Welcome.

-God

Post, I damn it!

-God

UncleFes is drubk!

UncleFes is drubk!

For the last f**king time, Thomcatspike, "pancake" does not make even alittle bit of sense as a verb

- God

I killed JFK. Arrogant prick.
-God

TiVo was my idea.
-God

Speak for yourelb!

I in fact do want pounds, shillings and pence.

- God

I gave you the herb, you people made it illegal. I'm holding back all the cool organic sexual things I had planned.

-God

By the way, no matter what Falwell and Robertson tell you, I'm not short of cash. Take care of yourself and give the rest to a person who needs it.

--God

Even I hate the Jehovah's Witnesses bothering Me on a Saturday.

- God

When it rains, it isn't me crying, but feel free to continue to tell children that if it amuses you to see them so crestfallen.
-God

Pssst. Saturday night. 3, 13, 11, 38, 29, 42.

Trust me.

-God.

"I made chicken specifically to be fried to a golden crisp. They know this, and are OK with it."

-God

That "crazy" homeless guy you see mumbling on the corner? Me and him have been talking for years. He's quite the conversationalist.

--God

Regarding menstruation: Seriously ladies, my bad.

-God

You're all going to burn in the eternal fires of damnation. Except the Lutherans.

-God

I'm taking down all of your names and putting them on my "special attention" list.

For the last fucking time, I AM HERE, and I know who you are, Margaret!

-God

There is no such thing as choice.

-God

Oh, and I made up the part about the "Holy Ghost." Things are funnier in sets of threes.

-God

Heaven is not at all like the white lodge, but I'm tinkering with the idea of a remodel. I like the red drapes.
-God

...and the Catholics. But they're in a special walled off section of heaven, so they can pretend they're the only ones there.

--God

Oh for the love of.... me.

- God

If you unscrew your bellybutton, your ass will fall off. Don't say I didn't warn you.

-God

I don't drink cheap domestic beers, not since I had the Xingu font and fountain installed in the office.
-God

(Twin Peaks references give me a major happy, EBK.)

"Sometimes, I pretend to be George Clinton. He's cool."

-God

If you unscrew your bellybutton, your ass will fall off

*looks at self in mirror naked*

Oh so that's what happened.

No one knows I wear a mullet.

-God

I'm starkers under the robe, you know.

-God

Maybe pushing those monkey genes into the next stage wasn't such a good idea.
-God

I am dong_resin
-God

That thing about me and the Dallas Cowboys? That ended when Landry left.

-God

Ebert sold his soul to Satan.

-God

Yes, I'm in the toilet too. Please watch what you eat.

- God

I've stopped reading MetaFilter and almost exclusively read MetaTalk.
-God

Ozzy used to keep me up at night. Have you seen him lately? Like a castrated teddy bear on lithium. And his wife? She kisses her kids with that mouth of hers?

-God

"The cow is not a noble and magnificent creature, it's a steak and a handbag, just like I meant it"

-God

Yes, there is a rock-and-roll heaven and yes, we've got a hell of a band. It would be better if Hendrix and Moon quit letting Lawrence Welk sit in, but they're good boys and don't wanna hurt his feelings...

-God

Don't even start with me, Job.

- God

"Ebony... and iVOreeee...."

-God and Satan

Well, you certainly seemed to believe in me when you were having that orgasm last night.

--God

I feel bad about lying to Nostradamus.

-God

I feel bad about lying to Nostradamus.

-God

I should have quit this whole thing around '97 or '98. No way we're gonna our shit together that well again.

-God

Haiku makes me smile, but limericks make me laugh.

-God

In fact, it was Adam's fault.

-God

I'm putting the band back together

- God

I sure hope b****fire's 'net connection is down for a while.

"Friday has nothing to do with me."

-God

By the way, I have seen Worm-sign like that

- God

I do not help those who help themselves. I prefer using a more random method of assistance. I call it "The Wheel of Fate." When I'm bored I'll give it a spin. One day you find a $100 on the street, the next day your cat dies. It's all about the wheel, baby.
-God

If you guys keep doing all this stuff, all over the place, you're going to have someone's eye out ...

-God

Arff... Arff...bow wow
-goD

We hit 200 on this thing, we can put together our own Apocrypha.

Clavdivs and Thomcatspike! Get your cassocks and headgear, gentlemen.

The platypus?

Just me having some fun with that Darwin wiseacre.

--God

Like Jesus has nothing better to do than appear in woodgrain and burritos? You people...

-God

I exclusively ride Harleys. Except for that Triumph Joplin just gave me. I sometimes take it out on weekends.
-God

No matter what anyone tells you, Clapton is not me, I would never have released that horrible acoustic "Layla" abomination.

--God

I liked Dogma. And I like skeeball. But I hated Magnolia.

-God

In fact, Heaven is pretty much skeeball city.

- God

(ha! worm-sign!)

By the way, the kid's middle name in "Hamish."

-God

Thomcatspike & Cladivs, Cain & Able - God
uh, Satan, yes Thom, I'm missing the Clad vs Thom thingy..

Listen, Heston, I knew Moses, I worked with Moses, Moses was a freind of mine. You, sir, are no Moses.

Say what you want about me, but at least I ain't going around dressing like a swan and raping Mediterranean chicks, like SOMEONE I know...

-God

Pretty much all of Canada was a result of a dare.

The only one who really has it down in Johnny Cash

- God

Immaculate conception? You folks'll believe anything...

--God

-God (who also forgets)

Hang on! You mean you greedy fuckers ate all the Dodo?

-God

My Favorite Edition of The Bible

--God

IS, not in. Even I make mistakes. I'm looking at you, Swaggart.

- God

She was a virgin when I met her.

-God

I'm impressed that you spent $195 million to build a church. The more expensive the cathedral the quicker you get into heaven.

--God

I can totally kick all your asses at Simon.

- God

I don't look anything like George Burns. Or Montgomery Burns, for that matter.

-God

And I'm pretty good at Ping Pong too.

- God

-God (who also forgets)

But I dont

--Rock and Roll

I've always hated the Dutch.

-God

I wish I hadn't allowed mathowie to reopen registrations over at the blue. But thank God me for the monkeys.

--God

Smiting is coming back in a real big way.

-God

If I wanted you to wear clothes I would have made them. -God

Butt, God why are they called private parts -Howard

There not private, only your movies are, those parts were created for sharing. -God

Begatting's due for a resurgence as well

--God

Jesus really died of an impacted bowel, but that didn't really have the marketing ZING I was looking for.

-God

The coming of the Lord isn't what you think it is.

-God

Jesus isn't my son, but he's a pretty cool dude.

--God

People having sex is the essence of human comedy.

-God

*laughs a lot at romakimmy*

Sorry about all the starvation and hatred down there. I kinda stopped paying attention when Woody Allen started making "serious" films.

Bergman's a bastard.

-God

I could care less when you sneeze -- for the last time, I will not bless you!

--God

Had I only had a daughter...

-God

If you spent your efforts on decoding the sequence of digits in p you would have discovered the secrets of immortality and really great sex by now. Do I have to do write it down for you or what?

-God

I didn't create clothes you did. -God
But, God, what about private parts. -Howard
Private my ass, your movie is private, those parts only work if you share them, so not private. -God

Hey, don't place your trust in me with your money -- I can't even balance my checkbook.

--God

You are nothing in this world but entirely alone.

-God

I invented literature and art. Buddha did mathmatics and science.

Those people are real good with numbers.

-God

You committed the biggest sin of all double posts, even though you hit the refresh button several time. -God the overlord

Actually God did make the first clothes. Figleaves don't count. In case you are wondering, God made Adam and Eve outfits from animal skins.

Oh, and I wouldn't be putting words in God's mouth if I were you. The tape's running.

*throws wet blanket along with requisite poo*

You tell 'em, baby.

-God

Had I only had a daughter...

Britt, he did[self-link]two in fact.

If you ever doubt me, just remember this: I made romakimmy and brittney.
-God

Religion has been putting words in my mouth for centuries, I suppose I can let some monkeys do it.

-God

I hid the answer to the meaning of life in the October 1959 issue of Reader's Digest.

--God

b****fire--as a non-atheist, I know this, God made man in his own image, which means the big guy has a great sense of humor. He'd need one, now wouldn't he?

:)

I didn't say any of that stuff above. But all the crap you guys write about monkeys is quite amusing.

Uh, Adam & Eve ate from the earth in the garden. -God
Oh, when I kicked them from the garden I gave them leaves to use, they created the tools to kill and make clothes, as we are all God's creatures. -God
Great leg of lamb honey. -Howard

I think I'm Miguel Esteves Cardoso.

--God

I obviously didn't design Visual Basic

-God

Hey! What are we? Chopped liver?

thomcatspike is my real son.

--God

Einstein sucks at chess, but I keep him around because he has funny hair.
-God

It is sock, shoe, sock, shoe.

-God

Bt he speaks a deviled tongue. -Satan

i oWnZ j00 ...

Tell that jonmc joker to quit hogging bandwidth downloading my mp3 collection already!

Even I don't know what the hell Sci-Fi was thinking when they cancelled FarScape.
-God

The fastest growing thread on earth. -God

Oh, and I wouldn't be putting words in God's mouth if I were you. The tape's running.

Wow, the tape's running! This is such an opportunity! OK, God, I have a few things I want to discuss with you. First, what's with all the suffering? Second, why'd you put all that salt in the ocean? Third, could you explain how Gallagher got famous?

Radiohead sucks.

-God

All you folks in trailer-park land, Elvis is Dead, OK. I had lunch with the fellow yesterday. Get Over it.

--God

Oh, yeah, Weezer sucks too.
-God

Radiohead does not suck, but I think Satan told them to put out Amnesiac

Hi, I'm responsible for the Osmonds.

sorry

You know what's really cool? Like, I'm God. duh.

-God

Ravers are the chosen ones. E for all.

-God

I swear EBK is a man. I just fudged the results of that gender test.
-God

Regrets I have a few, but then again to few to mention.

-God

When I was 2,343,567,234,876,123,567
It was a very good year.
-God

gotta light?
-god

4X4 with Grilled Onions, Strawberry Shake. That's the menu up here.
-God

Maradona was full of shit.

-God

Brittney, go to the grocery. It's 2 p.m. and you are in your pajamas, for my sake.

-God

You're all full of shit!

bathrooms on the left, next to refinacing.
-god

Yep, God has a sense of humor.

So do I.
But He is holy. And powerful. i guarantee you everyone of us, including me, would poop our pants if we saw Him right now as He is.

To you all God is just a Sunday School concept, a tool that religionists use to beat people over the head with, some guy in a big fat book that seems irrelevant. i understand that.

Please understand that I see Him as awesome, mighty, holy, and glorious. I have Him to thank that my daughter wasn't KILLED two weeks ago. Even the driver of the car that hit her told me that. She escaped without a bruise, which isn't POSSIBLE-I saw the side rearview mirror and it had to have hit her at a pretty good clip...

Miguel and some of the rest of you observed Yom Kippur this past Monday. Was that a meaningless ritual, or did it mean something?

I know you all don't mean any harm. But I and every one of us will have to account to the Lord for every idle word we speak....when we are talking about Him it is serious business.

Before you admins email me, yes, I know where to store the soapbox when I'm done.

I won't chastise you all, it is true you can post what you like and that is what this place is for. Hopefully you will agree that that priviledge also extends to me.
thank you.

But bring on the satan jokes. they rock!

Hey, I still love you New York.
-God

All your base are belong to us.

-God

I still think those "Get your war on Comics are funny." They say "fuck" a lot. That's a funny word.
-God

I still think those "Get your war on Comics are funny." They say "fuck" a lot. That's a funny word.
-God

Long hair is evil, Thom, go get it cut, now. -God..
So God, I'm going to get my hair cut with spikes then. -Thom.

The Dept. of Motor Vehicles. That was mine. i'm particularly proud of that one.

--Satan

In fact, that's why I allowed the English language to be invented. Just for the word "fuck." The Hebrew equivalent doesn't even come close to the satisfaction a good "Fuck me, I'm drubk!" can give you.

- God

Bunny, I'm your All Mighty, but Monkeys I created Bunny in My Image. -God

so boss, what were my signs again?

oh, I thought that meant to steal thrid.

... and lay off the bloody thrid!

No wait a minute, I said not to take my name in ... oh forget it. Carry on ...

The really annoying thing about born again Christians is how they tend to speak for everyone. That pisses Me off.

- God

*looks behind curtain in Emerald City*

Uh, I was speaking for myself, toots.

Sex. Cocktails. Books. Music. Venice. 9622.net.

- Man (via God) -

I know you all don't mean any harm. But I and every one of us will have to account to the Lord for every idle word we speak....when we are talking about Him it is serious business.

Just sayin'.

Kafkaesque, stop being so bloody-minded.

- God

Kafkaesque, stop being so bloody-minded.

- God

God, apparently, has echolalia.

But he had nothing to do with the acoustic version!

every one of us will have to account to the lord for every idle word we speak

But it vibrated, God! That was what was funny!

Just make sure the words you speak are always, and I mean always, exercising. Then you won't have to account for them.

- God

Forward, thread!

["The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about" - my son Oscar W. said that!]

Thou shalt post!

I find myself unruffled at the prospect of explaining a few wisecracks to the Big Man Upstairs, especially in light of my unbroken record of not giving children terminal diseases!

Fes! You are going STRAIGHT to hell for that one!

Thou shalt never get to two hundred.

-God

*poops pants*

Well, I'll hold a row of seats for y'all if I get there first.

Take it to the bridge, son!

No sweat, Fes. Upon my demise, I will be Supreme Ruler of the Inferno. Minions of Hell make bitchin' cocktails.

Michaelangelo would have a hissy if he saw what they did to the Sistine Chapel.
-God

Fuck - don't you people have work to do?

- God

Better to make cocktails in Hell than to serve in Heaven!

-Lucifes

How the fuck am I supposed to keep up?

- God

Better still to make cocktails on earth

- God

I enjoy topless beaches. Americans are to puritanical. I made breats to be looked at.
-God

I enjoy topless beaches. Americans are too puritanical. I made breats to be looked at.
-God

200!

My dad can take a little good-natured ribbing with the best of em'.

Back atcha!

I also made eyeballkid type "breats to" just because he mocks me.
-God

I maketh the tongue of EyeballKid to cleave to the roof of his mouth so he cannot speak without getting big laughs

- Jehovah

Me likey breats.

"To Do" List:

- wake up
- shower
- shave
- drive to work
- turn on computer
- post something to 9622 that insures my place in eternal hell and damnation.
- go home
- eat
- go to sleep

Repeat.

I only like breats when I'm really drubk. God hope me.

Back with another one of those block rockin' breats...

- God the #1 Funk Brother

Born Again, I created you once, so be happy your alive. -God
PS, I'm not re-potty tranining you either.

fonzi did not have gold filigree around his heart.

-god

fonzi did not have gold filigree around his heart.

-god

The breats go on.. La de da de heh!

Kevin, thou forsaketh God, as I created your schedule, the to do list. -God.

Better still to make cocktails on earth.

And even better to drinketh them.

- God

Woodie Guthrie sang about B-E-E-T-S
not B-R-EA-T-S
I must not think bad thoughts.

No, Thom not captilizing my name, does counteth. -god

And Kevin, you'd have more time to post something to 9622 that insures your place in eternal hell and damnation if you'd stop shaving.
Just a thought.

- God

Of course, I like all kinds of shaving. Just a thought
-God

You do not!

can i come out now?

Must be going on 5pm back east, I said Sunday at 12am is punch out, get back to work. -God

There's a reason why the Brasilian bikini wax originated in such a Catholic country. Really.
-God

Don't EVEN think of trying to pin this on me. I was off that day.

- God

I was here before all you people.

-Zeus

Not me

- Gilgamesh

You think that's bad? They stole all my best holidays!

-Mithra

Yes, Clavdivs you can, whoops VPGOd. -Thom, whoops God

*smirks at the goddy-come-latelies*

-Marduk

Not be a shill or anything, but I just wanted everyone to know that they're having a good sale at Tower right now and have a bunch of good CDs for 7.99 ea. Also, VHS for 4.95.

- God

I knew it! God is in Marketing!

Thanks Kaf, I told you had a talent of reading minds, you knew with me our monkey's bank account balances. -God

VHS? What's that?

Did you get rid of yours? I have so many flicks kicking around I'd hate to do that.

I never had that many. I could never stomach VHS. I rented, never bought. I didn't really start collecting until they started releasing DVDs. I was too cheap to buy Laser. I think the only VHS I have left are Pulp Fiction and that Pogues Live at the T&C tape.

I have a great big fuck-off beard.

-God

I could never stomach VHS.

That was probably your mistake right there. Instead of eating the tapes, you should have inserted them in the machine and watched them.

Unless you grew some giant video tumor. Then you could grow a nice videotape vagina thing in your stomach. Now that would be cool.

Sorry, back to talking to God.

I could never stomach VHS.

That was probably your mistake right there. Instead of eating the tapes, you should have inserted them in the machine and watched them.

Unless you grew some giant video tumor. Then you could grow a nice videotape vagina thing in your stomach. Now that would be cool.

Sorry, back to talking to God.

Jesus made me double post

Then you could grow a nice videotape vagina thing in your stomach.

New tagline?

This is really annoying

- St Augustine

Well, at least you all can never say I didn't warn you.
*washes hands*

Can we go Google some monkey pictures now? Perhaps a baby chimp in adorable red corderoy overalls? or a pygmy marmoset?

Well, at least you all can never say I didn't warn you.
*washes hands*

Can we go Google some monkey pictures now? Perhaps a baby chimp in adorable red corderoy overalls? or a pygmy marmoset?

*washes hands*

Bunnyfire is my co-Pilate.

Hell is for children... and Pat Benetar.
-God

I love threads like these, but it's so much more fun watching them develop instead of catching them at the tail end. *sigh*

Adam I've told you, you can't blame Eve for being late, but you may be late to your funeral. -God

Oh.....

-God

Come on people, this religion thing isn't rocket science.

Then you could grow a nice videotape vagina thing in your stomach.

By the way, I don't recommend going to www.videodrome.com

In German, und English I know how to count down...

My efforts from about six months ago :

And yes, I am saying this is some elderly, rickety meme-age, past it's best-by date. How snarky and pseudo-hip am I, huh? Nonetheless, The 9622 Crew never fails to amuse....rock over London, rock on Chicago!

Strav and few others are great at photo-shop art. -God

Also, just to show Funnybire that even the Saviour is enjoying this thread :

I smell fried chicken.

Guys, come on now-that's how jihads get started!

Everybody understands that a jihad is a religious war, right? If you take out the religion, you also lose the war.

Deleted FPP on the blue, I did it. -God
Ps, do the god overlords know who really posted this?

I'd just like to take this opportunity to point out that there's no possible way that God could have a sense of humor. Being, as He is, all-knowing, He'd always stop you 'cause He's heard that one before.

Or, I'm always laughing a head of time crash, and still am, what is that, ha ha ha. -God

Ah yes, Saint Stosh, patron saint of organ grinders and soda crackers. I think there's a church named after him in Hamtramck.

sorry crash it is at the end of the day, I'm still in work mode, that was bad of me, your were open. -Satan's concience

(Glad to see you took that in the humourous vein it was intended, B-fire. I was worried for a sec that'd you'd take it wrong....)

I doubt that.

Get this party started on a Saturday night
Everybody's waitin' for me to arrive
Sendin' out the message to all of my friends
We'll be lookin' flashy in my Mercedes Benz
I got lotsa style, got my gold diamond rings
I can go for miles if you know what I mean
I'm comin' up so you better you better get this party started
--God

Q: If you are omnipotent, can you create a stone you cannot pick up?
God: Who bothers with trivialities like stones or pinheads-and-angels? I'm too busy laughing at that Anna Nicole Smith show.

Posted by: readymade on September 18, 2002 10:13 PM

hate to be late to the thread, too. But I was watching the latin grammies! coochie-coochie! The verizon guy is much more tolerable en español:

"¿ ... escucha? ¡bien!"

Ah, but did the Karate Chimp get one?

*smites verizon guy*
Can you hear me now? Good!

Miguel, I thought of you when they went to a lot of trouble to explain that Nelly Furtado was of Portuguese descent. As if latinos aren't allowed to be from Canada or something.

Hey, Miguel, I read an article somewhere recently that stated Portuguese speakers could understand Spanish but not vice versa-is there anything to that? I'm curious.

Or is that like Thomcatspike understanding us but not the other way round? :-)

It's true, Bunnyfire. Portuguese is so damn difficult and close to Latin we can pretty much guess our way through Spanish and Italian. Spanish is a hard, phonetic language and it dulls the ability to listen for subtle sound changes.
In short, they suck; we rule.

You can easily tell the sound and feel of a language by listening to how averagely educated speakers sound in English - and how fast they learn. Generally, people from smaller countries and/or with complicated languages (Dutch, Danes) who don't dub their films and need to learn a second language (English) to get on, are better at all languages.

The people I've met with the most amazing language abilities are Ukranians, Romanians and Moldavians.

Well, that's this thread ruined!

Whatnot: here in Portugal, Nelly Furtado is seen as a Portuguese woman who did well in Canada. We're all very proud of her!

scrumptralescent.
--God

* casts down Tower of Babel *
* watches aghast as the Portuguese keep yammering on *

Back on track now?

Got your CD today, Miguel - thanks so much! Mrs. C is mightily smitten with the cover photo, and promises to give a full report after a full listening tomorrow.

My brief few weeks drinking my face off in Portugal (before going on to drink my face off in Spain (and so on (and so on))) years ago led to the almost complete meltdown of the linguistic circuits in my brain.

I am now terrified of Portuguese, and the very mention of it makes me want to soil my trousers.

The colour of terror....is brown.

"If you're going to speak Portuguese, keep a diaper handy for the wonderchicken."

- GhOD

Commish - he's our best fado singer and he's handsome. But - just between the two of us - he stands only five feet tall and is extremely shy. Our women are safe! Unless they actually hear him sing in a club - that's devastating.

I'm keeping my few Canadian jokes for when I really need them. Suffice it to say that I met a lot of people from Newfoundland and Prince Edward Island on my travels in Nova Scotia - so you see my experience was at the very hub of Canadian sophistication...

Satan is responsible for Nelly Retardo.
-God

"I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords... Wait! No, lemme think!"

- God

If I get less then 8 hours of sleep, I'm toast the next day.

-God

I call bullshit on Mr. Cardoso! Hmph, you're acting like Portuguese is some sort of code that Nicolas Cage is going to have to protect at all costs.

My father is from Argentina and he can understand about 80% of Portuguese (& Italian, for that matter).

I'm just sayin'.

God neither slumbers nor sleeps.

Good. Because there are some monkeys that bear watching.

Che, Argentinians are superior people, I agree. Their version of Spanish is sweet and softspoken. My best friend is an Argentinian. Chileans are fine too. But that's it!

*is mollified*

My wife, who is Mexican and Jewish, understands Portuguese very well. Even the slang.

there are also some bears that are monkeying.

and don't forget the monkeys riding bears.

I sense our first 9622 contest: how many monkeys can fit on one bear? If it was marmosets on, say, a grizzly, you'd be looking at the hundreds. But maybe it could be a brown bear with a baboon on its back with a Nagano Snow Monkey on its back with a bonobos on its back with a lemur on its back with a marmoset on its back.

Now that would be impressive.

A Russian scientist and a Czech scientist had spent their whole lives
studying the majestic grizzly bear. Each year they petitioned their
respective governments to allow them to go to Yellowstone to study these
wondrous beasts.

Finally, their request was granted and they immediately flew to NY and then
on West to Yellowstone. They reported to the local ranger station and were
told that it was the grizzly mating season and it was much too dangerous to
go out and study the animals.

They pleaded that this was their only chance. Finally the ranger relented.

The Russian and the Czech were given cell phones and told to report in each
and every day.

For several days they called in, and then nothing was heard from the two
scientists. The rangers mounted a search party and found the scientists'
camp completely ravaged. No sign of the missing men.

They then followed the trail of a male and a female bear. They found the
female and decided they must kill the animal to find out if she had eaten
the scientists because they feared an international incident.

They killed the female and cut open the bear's stomach... only to find the
remains of the Russian.

One ranger turned to the other and said, "You know what this means, don't
you?"

"Of course," the other ranger nodded....

"The Czech is in the male."

*groan*

I can bearly stand it.

Bunny very good, last night I fell asleep watching a program on grizzlies. So as I read your joke. Man, I missed the best part, but yours was a joke, you had me going up to the punch line.
I liked it. ;P

second time. Bunny last night I fell asleep to a program about grizzlies, and your joke me not knowing, I thought I missed the best part of the program, yet I didn't. You had me going up to your puch line which I'll add was great. I'm still giggling.

wow I exited out went back in refreshed even then took a second and refreshed, to post and see that.
Luckily time is on my side, 12min between double post.

Where'd everyone go?

-God

They stopped believing they could reach 300, bwahahaha!

Don't stop believing

Where'd everyone go?

-God

Care to find out anthathem, see any lightning bolts lately then a smoldering computer. -God's Wrath

Where'd everyone go?

-God

Care to find out anathema, see any lightning bolts lately then a smoldering computer. -God's Wrath

Four hundred shalt thou not count; neither count thou two hundred, excepting that thou then proceedeth to three hundred. Five hundred is right out.

- God (via St. Attilla)

Just spitting out that last comment ...

No shit! There was one there in preview ...

I declare this the funniest 9622 thread yet.

--God

(Oh, and as I've mentioned before, my sister-in-law is Portuguese. When she speaks to her mother, it's as if she's speaking in tongues. I know French and Spanish and Portuguese sounds, to my ear, nothing like either. She may as well be speaking Mandarin.)

All you hotties should get with jpoulos. He's like some sort of LOVE MACHINE.

--God

Brazilian Portuguese sounds a bit like a cross between Spanish and Russian.

Post, dammit!

Now I'm pissed. The comments looked nice with a nice "300" next to it but now you had to go ruin it. Hellfire for all of you.

- God

I kid, I kid. Just messin' with your heads. I'm funny that way.

- God

Brazilian Portuguese sounds a bit like a cross between Spanish and Russian.

You say that as if were a bad thing, Witchstone.

No, Portuguese sounds a lot like Russian. Or, the Spaniards say, like Spanish spoken with your mouth full of marbles.

Brazilian Portuguese is much sweeter and easier on the ear than the original, which sounds a bit portentous and medieval - much as Argentinian/Spanish and American/English.

No cocktails today, rats!

Heh. I don't need a cocktail: I have a cold San Miguel cerveza.

(in honour of going to Barcelona tomorrow)

You say that as if were a bad thing, Witchstone.

No such thing, Miguel. That's what my Brazilian friend says and I agree.

Someone's a little "sensitive" today! How long till your period?

Post, dammit!

Do the God Overlords need to tithe the monkeys? Thus hepling to fix the posting errors. -God's Accountant

Someone's a little "sensitive" today! How long till your period?

Say that to me one more time and you are SO dead, sucker.

-Goddess

Ride the Rusty Rag!

That sounded more like Scooby-Doo, Chef.

Kaf, I was reading your blog and couldn't help but think of "You Spin Me 'Round (Like a Record)" which has the advantages of both the parentheses and the apostrophe in it's title.

- God

Oh, and the 11th co