9622.net

The Seal has been broken, and the first cocktail has begun its esophageal journey to Cocktail Heaven. Yum.

I also forgot to mention that as I perfom this marathon session (the things I do for you folks!), I will be listening to each and every song recorded by Split Enz, with perhaps some Finn Brothers and Crowded House for variety. Because someone's got to do it, by crikey!

But what is this reputedly girly cocktail?

Posted by: readymade on September 21, 2002 04:20 AM

* puts on his wonderchicken scarf, settles down and prepares to start rooting for stav*

But what is this reputedly girly cocktail?

Well, I'm too bashful with the Master Miguel around to go into details, but my tipple this evening involves an icy bottle of Absolut (being the best I could find here) Citron, big tall skinny glasses, and whatever I can find in the fridge.

I promise to refrain from mixing it with spaghetti sauce as we once did in extremis back in university days when all mixers had been consumed by 4 a.m. but the thirst remained unsate, litres of liquor remained undrubk, and faux-bloody marys seemed like a great idea.

Drinky drink #2 is now sweating gently beside the keyboard, and all is right with the world.

I don't think you're drinking your cocktails fast enough. Damn! I'm not going to be able to keep up with the cocktail comment stylings of the Chicken because I'm behind him by too many time zones and I'm already drubk.

Good night, fair mr. chicken, and happy Chusok. May all your cocktails be as good as that G and T that put me over the edge.

On preview, 2 points:

1. Thanks be to the maker of hooch that someone else calls them drinky drinks, and
2. The most hideous youthful cocktail folly of mine was a toss-up (thankfully not literally) between the sake/lemonade in my late teens, or the vodka and milk in my early twenties, having run out of Kahlua. Yeow.

Posted by: readymade on September 21, 2002 04:51 AM

Good night, friend readymade.

"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you."

Delicious cocktail #3 has met it's match, and I'm feeling like this fine fellow, quite mellow.

Does it get progressively weirder the more you drink? 'Cause I just might want to brew a cup of coffee and park here for a while after that quite intriguing comment above.

Posted by: readymade on September 21, 2002 05:12 AM

Ah, sweet #4. From the one came the two, from the two came the three, and from the three came the many.

The mojo is rising now : set the controls for the heart of the sun, navigator!

If man is 5
If man is 5
If man is 5

Then the devil is 6
Then the devil is 6
Then the devil is 6
Then the devil is 6

And if the devil is six

Then god is 7
Then god is 7
Then god is 7
Then god is 7

This monkey's gone to heaven

Girly cocktail #5 is dedicated to Buk, who taught me something important, probably, I guess. 'Endurance is more important than truth' is all that comes to mind at the moment...

(if you're still there, readymade, I think chances are that things will get progressively dumber as the night goes on.)

Time for cheapo cuban. Time lapse anticipated. Be not afeared, yea though you scroll the thread of the wonderchicken, you should fear no evil. 'Cause, you know, why would I be evil? I'm a wonderchicken, by crikey!

Rebel Rebel, you've torn your dress
Rebel Rebel, your face is a mess
Rebel Rebel, how could they know?
Hot tramp, I love you so!

This cocktail (which is almost finished already - oops) is dedicated to hot tramps everywhere, and the thundersluts they aspire to be!

Number 7 is all about the drugs. The drugs I don't take any more, the drugs I wish I had taken, and the ones I wish I hadn't. Well, OK, there aren't any that I wish I hadn't. It's about seeing the universe in swirls of woodgrain just before you puke your guts out for the third time that night.

It's also about the weird way my scalp feels at the moment after smoking that cigar.

Upon which one becomes aware,as if awaking from a pleasant dream, that one is alone on the dancefloor at your friend's wedding reception, inexplicably dancing with a chair, and not only has the music stopped, but the gathered celebrants are staring at you with a look in their eyes that occupies the intersection of horror and disgust.

Having gone this far, one continues dancing with the inanimate object, crooning to it, as there's not a hell of a lot else to do at that point, is there?

Tenten and The Adventure Of The Slighty Odd Flavour

That fulcrum point in the Miracle Of Alcohol Metabolization has come, when shiny things and exciting sounds can distract the stalwart adventurer from his chosen quest. But, januslike, these sounds and shiny objects can also help keep our hero focussed on navigating his storm-tost craft, on ignoring the sirens, and on sinking some fucking party quarts! Retro-W00t! Rock over London etcetera etcetera!

Fucknard. I forgot #9. I have self-administered a quick shot of vodka to bring things into equilibrium, and for visual atonement, I give you this Bavarian drinking a party quart :

Drink, you bastard, or I'll get The Count to cut your balls off too!

Gosh, I'm feeling all sleepy now. Wha? Who tied these pillows to my head? Is that you, grandma?

Fear not! Although the vodka is all gone, I have backup booze! The Very Last Beer In The House! And thank the Swingin' Green Goolies of The Great Gazoo - it's a Party Quart†!

†Please note : comedy capitalization. Do not try this at home unless under the supervision of a (meta)physician.

Ol' Number Eleven. I would like to dedicate this large beer to Elvis Costello, because he makes me happy with his singer/songwriter skills and his comedy facial hair and odd atonal squealings.

I would like to thank you all for sleeping through my experiment in Gimmick Posting. I would also like to drink some more, but after this emergency beer all the beverages in the house will have disappeared, and my desire for a delectable and toasty sandwich will certainly triumph.

Whoops! Almost forgot :

Well, moderately tipsy, at least. Yay!

All hail The Wonderchicken (note the Comedy Capitalization™) for He is Mighty and Good.

Girly Dribks? So that Absolut Citron was on the rocks, eh?

This is like that episode of WKRP* where Johnny and Venus test their reflexes after each drink and Johnny's actually improve. It would be fun to participate, but sadly I no longer drink. Perhaps substituting coffee for a jaunty manic effect.

*I know I work WKRP into things too often, but lets face it--it's the best guide for living America has produced.

Somebody has to say it.

"Hey fuckwit! Get your own 'blog!"

ALL I NEEDED TO KNOW I LEARNED FROM WKRP

1.Nothing Compliments an Afro like a fur coat.
2.Play good music and you won't have to shave and you'll get to dress cool.
3.Chicks with glasses are hot.
4.Never trust a man in a white belt.
5.Turkeys cannot fly.

A few of the Chicken's pictures reminded me of this:

The full story of which can be read here.

/shameless self-promotion

Is it not creepy when the creep doing the creeping admits the "creepage" is going too far?

As usual Miguel...beautiful.

I ♥ wonderchicken.

sigh....

I am so sorry that I had to go to sleep. That was good, clean chicken fun. Cheers, mr. wonderchicken.

Posted by: readymade on September 21, 2002 02:14 PM

Stravo you are a wonderchiken, I'm here at work doing my football pool picks. While reading this thread, 6months in a leaky boat, Split Endz(you mention S.E.above) was on my play list that is playing. You are a true wonder? How did you do that, monkey. Have fun with the harvest festival......cheers!
PS, what is the Korean words for wonderchicken?

I want to frame this thread and put it over the bar which for years I've been meaning to build. Seriously. A great narrative, entirely suited to the medium. No joke. Congratulations and thanks!

Miguel, sometimes you're weird.

"Hey fuckwit! Get your own 'blog!"

This coming from the guy who was complaining about not enough threads a wee shile ago.

*gives yhbc noogies like nobody's business*

The marvellous thing about vodka that I had forgotten that you can get a nice head of steam going, and it's relatively consequence-free in terms of toxicity the next day. Bright and early and I'm back. But drinking coffee this time.

I hope you all (except the Commish, who's on my shitlist now!) enjoyed my little Gimmick Thread™, complete with Comedy Capitalization™

(And yes, tizzie, a few of my vodkas were indeed on the rocks, but with a splash of lemon juice. But I'm confused as to why Citron would be a girl drink, though, being as alcoholically robust as its unflavoured cousin. Girl drinks in my book tend to be sweet, premixed, low-alcohol nasties...I'm so out of touch with the Kids of Today.)

Nope, that was romakimmy wondering about the rocks.
Me, I know that girly drinks are all lovely and pink!

Whoops. Guess I am a bit befuddled by the boozin'.

But I'm confused as to why Citron would be a girl drink, though, being as alcoholically robust as its unflavoured cousin. Girl drinks in my book tend to be sweet, premixed, low-alcohol nasties...I'm so out of touch with the Kids of Today.)

I was teasing, luv. Citron is not a girly dribk, per se, just depends on how you make the drink. Rest assured, girly dirbks are still the premixed, overly sweet, gotta-drink-a-kegfull-to-feel-anything nasties that you are familiar with. And they are something I tend to stay faaaaaar away from, as I'm an "on the rocks" type of girl.

I kid because I love, STWC. There's probably lots of global hangovers in the 9622 population this weekend - between stav's tour de force and the Craddock brothers' exploits, the Missus and I had a wedding to go to last night - the reception was literally down the street from us, and we both got sublimely tampered.

*oog*

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