9622.net

There must be at least 47 hours in a Portugese day.

Hey, who here hasn't snapped a little bubblegum?
Brilliantly twisted, CC.

I made a version of 2001 for a corporate meeting last year. It was brilliant! Had the CEO, whose name just happens to be Dave, locked in his office yelling "Open the office door, HAL!"
They pay me peanuts, and yet, I'm a genius. Sad, really.

I am too drubk to pay attention enough to try and figure out what the fuck you all are going on about, so I'm gonna dance instead.
*dances the sirtaki, learned incompletely from his name-sire, Stavros Akritides*

Shit, I wonder if Stavros is still alive....

Shit, I wonder if Stavros is still alive....

that bear is pretty freaky.

Stavros Overload, BabieS! Rocktastic!

Errors are all about the traffic, motherbitches. Whaaaaaa....funk out!

I think we can all agree that this whole "Abdul" thing would be funnier if it was--in fact--a monkey instead of a teddy bear.
And a live monkey at that. Hopped up on cocaine and six different kinds of speed.
That would make a great site.

Motherbitches.

They pay me peanuts, and yet, I'm a genius. Sad, really.
Welcome to my world, tizzie.
Of course, once my bullet riddled body is dragged from the bordello, all these same naysayers will proclaim that they saw my genius all along.
Philistines! Philistines, I say. Plus our business sales rep keeps trying to make coffe in a broken coffee maker, it always makes the breakroom smell like he threw a coffee grenade in and ran away.

Okay, this is funny.

i ♥ stavros when he's drubk

I love stavros.
Oh, and this Abdul guy is obviously from Austin.
Whatnot, I'm looking at you! (you, too, Dejah!)

Okay, how hard would it have been for me to look at violetcrown.com and see that it says AUSTIN, TEXAS?
But, oh no! I gotta be all "I've figgered this guy out!"
I am a dork.

i ♥ stavros when he's drubk
You mean you've met him when he isn't?
*shrill Smashing-Pumpkins-fan voice*
Ooohh, what's he like?

I have met Abdul. He gave me that dismissive smile-and-nod reserved for "nobodies." At least Joey Tio had a few beers with us.

Did you all notice that if you look at that bear picture long enough, a twinkle in his eyes appears?
I notice the subtle things.
(off topic, anybody know a good cold cure that doesn't involve alcohol? If stavros was taking what I have to take he'd be able to get drunk at less than one tenth the cost.)

Of course, once my bullet riddled body is dragged from the bordello, all these same naysayers will proclaim that they saw my genius all along.

Honey, when I'm in the bordello, there ARE no naysayers. *wink*
p.s. and our coffee's kinda ok here....

pssst, ColdChef: Dejah lives in Dallas, not Austin.
Tizzie, luckily your genius is fully appreciated here on 9622. I mean, when we're sober enough to remember you.

off topic, anybody know a good cold cure that doesn't involve alcohol?
Chicken soup with gin in it.

pssst, ColdChef: Dejah lives in Dallas, not Austin.
I think she once lived in Austin. Does Dreama live in Austin?

I wish I lived in Austin.

Dreama lives in Pittsburgh.
Howzabout you and Mrs. ColdChef and Me and Mrs. Jonmc all move into a loft in NYC together and collectively max out the city's bandwidth, conveinience stores and liquor stores?!

I am so down with that. Hey, can we all move in with evanizer?

**cancels plans to NYC since there will no longer be bandwidth, liquor, or tasty air-puffed cheesy snack treats**
**shudders because it sounds too much like Rudy Guiliani's dream world**

Chicken soup with gin in it.
Yuck!
Just pour me a Nyquel then.

Hey, can we all move in with evanizer?
He'll probably makes us wear togas and drink Tab, but what the hell.

I have it on good word that NyQuil goes really well with Jagermeister. A little green panda told me that after dusting me with sprinkles late one December night.

Ufez, no this is the ultimate cocktail from my drinkin' days:
equal parts Jägermeister, Rümple Minze and Göldschläger, also known as a Screaming Nazi.
At my farewell party from working at the bookstore, I had three of those, then I began invading neighboring countries.

I prefer it without the Rumple Minz. Just Jager and Shlager. Starry Night. Drink it, and all of Van Gogh's painting's start to look like still lifes.

I prefer it without the Rumple Minz. Just Jager and Shlager. Starry Night. Drink it, and all of Van Gogh's painting's start to look like still lifes.
Post dammit!

I would call it a Screaming Umlaut. Who wants to think about Nazis when they're having fun?

I remember a shot that was Goldschlager, 151 and man....what was the other thing? It was called Liquid Cocaine. More like Liquid Drano.
Goldschlager = The Devil's Spunk.

we also had on called a Mind Eraser: a plastic beer cup filled with equal parts vodka and Mountain Dew with a floater of Kahlua.
What a refined bunch we are, eh?

We used to drink something that was known generically as Toxic Waste. It was whatever we could find all thrown together. White liquor, brown liquor, moutain dew, cough syrup, rubber cement, play-doh.
Miguel must be horrified by this thread right now.

I'm all about the dirty vodka martini: shaken, not stirred. The problem is getting it dirty enough.

Nothing wrong with some civilised discourse on libations, mr. mcnally.
Oh, and my mind erasers always had Dr. Pepper, not Mt. Dew. And you had to drink it with a straw, real fast.
But what all is supposed to be in the 4 Horsemen of the Apocolypse shot? I remember Jager and Bacardi 151, but the other two escape me (for some reason). I just know they were equally harsh and potent.

You should try play-doh.

Hey, you know who lives in Austin? Patty Griffin! What a gal!
Best cold rememdy? Cold-eeze zinc lozenges and some of that echinacea stuff. Won-ton soup and booze.
And witchstone, usually people think their best thoughts about me after they've had a few. In fact, that's when they think I'm a genius! If only the bosses at work weren't so .... sober.

Members of the Board, I give you
The Flaming Dr Pepper:
In shot glass:
0.5 shot amaretto
0.5 shot Kahlua
top off with 151 rum
0.75 full glass of beer:
Procedure: Get a glass of beer with some room left in it. Light the shot on fire, and drop it into the beer. Chug the whole thing down.

Whatever you do, do not pour the flaming shot down the bar, even if you like the pretty blue flame. I am no longer allowed at The Gold Mine in New Orleans because of this.

Patty Griffin invented the Slippery Nipple Shot.

Patty Griffin invented the Slippery Nipple Shot.

Heh, CC, I had my one and only flaming DP at a bar in Roatan (bay island in Honduras) on my 22nd birthday. I, of course, dropped the shot in not so carefully and spilled beer all over the place. I got some applause, though.

One for each nipple, i guess.

I have a third nipple.
Really.

Patty Griffin likes pancakes.

Patty Griffin stole my third nipple and sold it for cigarettes.

I drink milk sometimes.

Just because it comes out of a hoofed mammal, that don't make it milk, son.

That's no teat, Dong.

I'm seeing a pattern.
I have to squint, but it's definitely there.

Just because it comes out of a hoofed mammal, that don't make it milk, son.
...and those aren't hooves! I just haven't had a pedicure in a while.

Hey! When did this kafkeresk fellow show up?
Patty Griffin stole my kidney for $10,000. I woke up in a bathtub filled with ice and a phone by my head.

Patty Griffin stole my kidney for $10,000.
*pats lower back*
I don't know nuthin' 'bout that.

*whistles*

Hey, no, really! This is true! If you forward this e-mail, Patty Griffin will send you $1 million!

It's true. And I'm a laweyer, so I know it's true.

Patty Griffin just told me that today was the 100th anniversary of...the teddy bear!
Happy B'day, Abdul.

Thanks! I expect birthday gifts from all of you.

Hey! A Special Guest Appearance!
This is just like the Love Boat!

Okay, so how cool is this:
I have a guest staying at my hotel from Austin, and we had a little chat about restaurants while we were making her reservations. Any way, she just checked in and she brought some queso for me from Maudie's in Austin. It was in a little insulated bag and everything! People can be so cool sometimes.

Obviously you'll have to sleep with her. Luckily you have a key.

*cues up the Barry White*

9622.net: Accepting gifts of warm, spicy cheese from total strangers.

"If you want my spicy queso, all you gotta do is say so."

............................. Banana
This is just like the Love ^ Boat!

Day-o, Daaaayo....

Comment text is required./
Daa-o, Daaaa-yo...

this website needs an exorcist.

Velor-jacket'd closing tag

hey, I was getting to it...

No! Shut down all the garbage compactors on the detention level!

No! ALL OF THEM!

Listen to them, they're dying!

good they're annoying the hell of me.

I think Cold Chef's mysterious cheese-bearing guest was Patty Griffin!

Why hasn't anyone welcomed Abdul? He shows up in the thread and you can't even be polite?
Ingrates!

Welcome, Abdul! I bet you get the dingleberries real bad, huh?

OH SHIT! sorry.
Welcome Abdul!

Abdul, is it true that you shit in the woods?

That's probably the only site I've ever seen that felt it necessary or even possible to put an exclamation mark after Vallejo.

It the Internet's nascent years, it was standard to put an exclamation point after Vallejo! The fact that no one does any more is just another sign of how the Net has been corrupted by capitalist pig dogs and aol users.
Welcome, abdul.

Viva Vallejo!
Viva Abdul!
Viva Flaming Dr Pepper!

Does anyone remember the commercials years ago when they suggested one serve Dr.Pepper heated-with a lemon slice???
No wonder I hate the stuff.
(we are talking early 1960's.)

wow. that must make you a hundred or sumthin'.

Older than the hills!

I was a LITTLE bunny back then. Cute, too!

Hey, I tried to check this thread a little while ago and couldn't download anything but the pic and the first link. Somebody monkeying with the code, or just the 9622 gremlin?

Dude. You are soooo high, Bunnyfire.

No, I'm being serious. There was something wrong with the site. I thought maybe one of you monkeys were working on it or something. This was the only thread affected (I assume; I only went to the other one that Adam started and it was okay.)

So the lemon was supposed to make warm Dr. Pepper palatable?

A certain well-known MeFite has called me a pompous ass, a loser and a dipshit via email. And it's only 9 a.m!
I'm the King of The World!
Also, sorry about all the hooting and sirtaki dancing there last night. Dunno what got into me.

Mornin' sunshine!

shit. see other active thread for warm dr. pepper cure.

I'm twice the idiot. I should have blamed it on the server.

You're joking! He said, "A pompous ass, a loser, AND a dipshit?"?
Yeah, well, you had to, didn't you? You had to stand up for what you stood for, didn't you?

Well, there was some other lovely pillow talk interspersed between the actual insults, but yeah. I found it amusing. Some folks get so worked up...

Of course, now that I have a coffee in hand, I recall that I did tell him to go fuck himself.
heh.

The WonderChicken is my hero.
How sad is that?

The WonderChicken is my hero.
How sad is that?

Pretty damn sad, apparently.

No, ColdChef, I don't go in the woods, as you can see on my bathroom abdulCam: http://violetcrown.com/abdul/abdulCam2.htm

Only hick bears go in the woods!
Bathroom abdulCam

Bear scat. Coooool.

Patty Griffin just called, she's with Abdul in Tortola.

What a slut.
I mean Abdul, not Patty Griffin.
Patty Griffin is my hero. How sad is that?

Patty loves me, even if I am a slut.
Here's what I do to monkeys!

Uh, Abdul that monkey must not be one of us. I don't think you would have to hold any of our monkey friends down to get them to drink Shiner Bock. On second thought maybe you are performing an exorcist, but with beer, great medicine then?

Oh, great, thanks Miguel. Now we've got talking, abusive bears dropping by at all hours of the day and night. There goes the freakin' neighborhood.

If you go down to the woods today
You're sure of a big surprise!

I remember a pretty gross (scatological)joke about a bear and a bunny.
I'm not telling it.

So does it stick to your fur?

I see you've heard it, then.

We've all heard it. But a good 'un it is.

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