9622.net

Man. And now that I frantically ripped through all that shit to get that post up here, I feel bad about doing so. It's just (several) website(s), after all, and I didn't need to carry it across all of them. Fuckwit.
Ummm ..... so. Anyone wanna beer?

Say good night, Gracie.

The duck jokes can be craftily mutated into Commish jokes. Specially the first one, if you replace "the zoo" with "MetaFilter" and "the beach" with "9622.net":
A man is driving a pick-up truck down the road with a bunch of ducks standing in the back. A police officer pulls over the driver and informs him that he is speeding and then asks him where does he think he's going with all those ducks. The driver says that he just doesn't know what to do anymore. The officer says, "Look, there's a zoo not far from there and that's where you should be taking them. That will take care of your problem." The man thanks the officer and drives off with his ducks.
The next day the officer again sees the pick-up truck once again speeding down the road. This time, though, all the ducks in the back are standing there with sunglasses. The officer pulls over the driver over and says, "I thought I told you to take them to the zoo!" "I did that," said the driver, "but now they want to go to the beach!"

I'm beginning to think I'm being stalked by the Celebriducks.
Oh. My mistake.
It's just those damn flying elves again.
Get the Black Flag, honey! They're back!

Would I be wrong in assuming that the Commish is ripe for a well-deserved monkey duck jibe?

I actually have the James Brown duckie above, which I bought from Celebriducks about a year ago. I thought I found it on Mefi, but I guess not.
It's very cool and all (a total sex machine of the rubber duckie world, the hardest working rubber duckie in show business, soul duckie number one, etc.) but... these days when i look at it, it looks more and more racist. The big yellow lips/beak. It looks a little...al jolson-ish.
Still, it's displayed proudly on my bookshelf.
YEEOOOOW! HU, HEH.

Is that "elves" or "el vez?

Stop me if you've heard this one before...
A duck walks into a bar, waddles up to the bartender and says: "Hey barkeep. Ya got any gwapes?"
The bartender looks puzzled for a second and answers "'gwapes'? uh...no. we don't have any 'gwapes'". So the duck leaves.
The next day, the duck comes back, waddles up to the bar and says: "Yo, barkeep. Ya got any gwapes?"
The bartender is still a little puzzled. "No, buddy. We don't have any 'gwapes'." So the duck leaves.
The following day, around the same time, the duck waddles back into the bar, approaches the bartended and says "hey barkeep! ya got any gwapes?"
Now the bartenders aggravated. "Listen, buddy," he says, "I've told you twice now that we don't have any 'gwapes'. Now get the hell out of here and don't ask me again or i'll nail your frickin' beak to the floor!" So the duck leaves.
The next day, the duck waddles back into the bar and approaches the bartender.
"Hey barkeep! Ya got any nails?"
The bartender is surprised for a second. "Uh, no, we don't have any nails."
"Good," says the duck. "Ya got any gwapes?"

I tried so hard to stop you.

What do you get
Thom has nails
Jpoulos in a duck suit
and some gwapes.
A monkey nailed
to the wall
eating gwapes
in a duck suit, duck Thom!
*spalt*
Jpoulos, with uh, not egg on his face ;P

I love that joke for some inexplicable reason.

Jpoulos, I joke with you as my buddy's buddy tells that joke everytime he is durbnk, I think it was the only joke he learned in the Marine Corp. ;P

Have I ever mentioned the Aquatic Temple of the Ducki Lama? Twas a joke site I put up back in 97 or 98...sadly ignored since then...but it has spawned many, many people to buy duckies for me. I swear, I may have one of the largest rubber duck collections in the world...including the rare and much sought after 1st edition Groucho Duck...who I took a bath with just yesterday. :)

I doubt he cleaned up at all.

Well. In another of those bizarre little coincidences that are becoming increasingly common in my life, we got an email tonight from Linda Daly at celebriducks.com. The Dr. Frank N. Furter duck has arrived.
Mrs. Commish just got off the phone with her - we could be the first household in the world, then, to proudly display the good doctor in our home in all his duckish glory.
By the way, we have a friend who looks very much like Tim Curry now (or slightly younger). We keep trying to imagine him in drag.

when I was a wee little monkey (one year old) I got a stuffed toy duckie for Easter. It was so cute-I always had to have it at bedtime. I literally kept that thing till the stuffing fell out of it-I'd say about 6th grade.
Ah, childhood...

Apropos of The Godfather of Soul:
Yesterday was a legal formality we had to go through, a court hearing for guardianship of my son, Andy.
The judge wanted Andy to come up to the microphone... I guess he was going to see if he could answer questions, etc. So I walked Andy up to the microphone in the middle of the courtroom, Andy grabs the mike in two hands a la James Brown, shrieks into it at the top of his lungs, knocks it over, and runs to the back of the room where he turns off ALL THE LIGHTS.
Welcome to Andyland, your honor.
He feels good, dadadada, you knew that he would.

Yes, but does his Papa Got a Brand New Bag? ;)

I was gonna take him to the bridge...
I *heart* Lupo's duck joke. It has become my Official Favorite Joke Ever.

it seems that lil Andy hit it and quit it.

After talking loud and saying nothing?

Tizzie, do you follow him around with a little sequined cape?
Cuz that's what the kids are into these days. Little sequined capes. And justin timberlake.

And summoning Nyarlathotep.

And those really cheap CostCo corndogs that play hell with your digestive tract.

Also, yo-yos and balloon animals.

and Sartre.

Kids *love* Sarte.

and Satre too. Especially Being and Nothingness. They love that more than Huis Clos.

"Nausea" should be a part of every childs reading diet.

Tous les enfants aiment "Les Jeux Sont Faits".

Curious George and the Transcendence of the Ego: An Existentialist Theory of Consciousness

What is Green Eggs and Ham if not a treatise on existentialism? I am Sam.... Sam I am....

The Lorax II: His Nights in Front of the Bathroom Mirror, Drinking Beer After Beer and Eating Toothpaste Straight From the Tube

"He showed up today with Thing One and Thing Two
We thought he would find us some fun things to do
He stated quite clearly, that cat with a hatter
'We're all going to die, so what does it matter?'"

*clap clap clap*

(that was applause, not a really bad dose of "the clap")

She's using cocoanuts!

Ahem.

now *that's* a cool duck, commish.

That quacks me up, har har.

lololol, man this is funny shit eh, what the hell is up everybody???????????????Chow

Hey ya'll, stupid sun of a b*tch pile of monkey nuts, lol, i laugh amn , sweet jesus

Hey ya'll, stupid sun of a b*tch pile of monkey nuts, lol, i laugh amn , sweet jesus

Sweet, sweet Jesus.

Ha ha ha! ROTFLMAO!!!!!

;P

*splat*

Oh. Oh dear.

Foxxy--It is with great ceremony that I present you with the greatest "Past Threads Revived" award. ROTFLMAOTIPOFTLO! ATEAGCWEMAWBTAWAPOTAAPTW.

(Rolling on the floor, laughing my ass off 'til I pass out from too little oxygen. And then expire and get cremated, where everyone mourns and wails because they all want a piece of the action and possibly the will.)

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