Who is the one before us whom puts the thunder in thunderslut, having eaten quietly family dinners with Johnny Cash as a youngn' not once but twice, causally chats with David Lynch as if he were a mortal, fearlessly bloggs about her menstrual cycle years before it was popular to do so, is described by employers as "cuddly like a rattlesnake", and makes the whole pink jawa thing look effortlessly sexy ?
Her name ain't baby. It's Brittney, and it's her birthday.
Posted by dong resin at October 28, 2002 12:52 PMHere's the part where you all say : "Happy brithday, Brittney."
That Johnny Cash thing is real, btw.
Posted by: dong resin on October 28, 2002 10:59 AMHelp, my pee smells like ham!
And happy birthday, Brittney! Are you legal yet? Can we souse you up?
Posted by: witchstone on October 28, 2002 11:24 AMWhoo Hoo! Happy birthday Brittney! May giant dog riding monkeys bring you reams of presents...but hopefully, they'll not be delivering the cake...dog hair is so difficult to get out of the frosting. ;)
Posted by: dejah420 on October 28, 2002 11:26 AM*sung by melodious singing monkeys*
Happy Thunderslut Birthday to You,
Happy Thunderslut Birthday to You,
Happy Thunderslut Birthday dear Brittneyyyyyyyy,
Happy Thunderslut Birthday to YOU!!!!!
AND happy "first day of the new job" to jonmc!
*sorry, the singing monkeys left for lunch*
Posted by: tizzie on October 28, 2002 11:37 AMAt this point, I'd like to raise an issue of tradition and call for the re-enactment of the ritual obligatory birthday spanking.
"... and one to GROW on!"
Posted by: Unclefes on October 28, 2002 11:41 AMWhich is to say, Happy Birthday, dollface :)
Any of that coke from the bachelor party thread left?
Posted by: Unclefes on October 28, 2002 11:44 AMHappy b-day, Brittney. I see on your site you're turning 25. That's a perfect time for a Quarter-Life Crisis.
Posted by: pardon me on October 28, 2002 12:18 PM25.
Happy birthday anyway.
*commences with Russian happy birthday song*
*can't wait to spank brittney*
WooHoo! How 'bout some pictures in your birthday suit?
Posted by: ColdChef on October 28, 2002 12:48 PMHappy birthday, Brittney with two t's. That makes you, what, 19?
Posted by: Crash on October 28, 2002 01:39 PMIt makes me, as jpo pointed out, halfway to fifty.
I've got zits and budding crow's feet. The horror.
Thanks for all the nice bday sentiments, ya'll.
Gives me a happy.
Wait a minute. It's *brittney's* birthday. Which means all of the male denizens of 9622 should be offering up pictures of themselves in their birthday suits. Or at the very least, some coke left over from the bachelor thread served on their bare buttocks. (Auguri, bella. Hope you get lots of birthday shwag.)
Posted by: romakimmy on October 28, 2002 01:53 PMI've got zits and budding crow's feet.
"Do you need a woman to look after you?"
Posted by: witchstone on October 28, 2002 01:55 PMMonkeys don't keep donkeys, and if they did I am sure they wouldn't dress them up in matching outfits.
Posted by: b****fire on October 28, 2002 02:06 PMHappy Birfday, fling poo!
Happy Birfday, Fling poo!
Happy Birfday, dear thunderslut
Happy Birfday Fling poo!
And don't worry. Some of us find crow's feet dead sexy. I know I do.
Posted by: Ufez Jones on October 28, 2002 02:11 PM
"Bring on the bare monkey asses for Brittney!"
Happy birthday Brittney, you thunderslut extraordinaire, you!
Posted by: Miguel on October 28, 2002 02:32 PM*whistles*
C'mere boy!
Goddammit! Where's that 9622 gone to?
Posted by: Redneck on October 28, 2002 05:15 PMHave a nice Happy Birthday of an evening..............
Posted by: Thomcatspike on October 28, 2002 06:20 PM"Bring on the bare monkey asses for Brittney!"
Happy Burfday fromma Damyankee, Miss Tennessee, and many more.
Posted by: jonmc on October 28, 2002 08:59 PMat the very least, some coke left over from the bachelor thread served on their bare buttocks.
Wouldja settle for Sudafed offa my big toe?
Posted by: jonmc on October 28, 2002 10:31 PMHappy Birthday Brittney!
...And as your present...
Absolutely no naked pictures of your male monkey cohorts.
We'd like you to maintain interest in our half of the species.
Posted by: MarsCrash on October 29, 2002 12:27 AMMy birthday was swell, but I admit to being disappointed in not getting some ass.
Posted by: brittney on October 29, 2002 12:30 AMSay, big thanks to Lupo fer helping out the short bus among us by moving this to it's own thread.
Posted by: dong resin on October 29, 2002 12:32 AMAm I the only one impressed with the Johnny Cash thing?
Dinner, with The Man In Black. Twice.
My birthday was swell, but I admit to being disappointed in not getting some ass.
Have you considered just upping to a likely candidate and saying something along the lines "Hiya there tough guy, whyn't you c'mon home with me and give me a friendly little boot-knock?" If he seems reticient (and by "reticent" I mean "doesn't immediately say 'okeydokey!'and follow you out the door"), move onto the next candidate.
I dunno what today's young men are all about, but you'd have had me (back in the day) at "tough guy." So get back out there and thunderslut it up! It's still technically your birthday until you wake up tomorrow.
Posted by: Unclefes on October 29, 2002 01:32 AMand by "reticient" I mean, "I can't spell worth a high-flung cat-turd."
Posted by: Unclefes on October 29, 2002 01:35 AMAm I the only one impressed with the Johnny Cash thing?
I am. I want to hear this story.
*taps glass*
Posted by: jpoulos on October 29, 2002 09:18 AMsorry so late to the party--Happy Birfdae, Miz Brittney!
Posted by: whatnot on October 29, 2002 11:35 AMAm I the only one impressed with the Johnny Cash thing?
I was treating it with the sanctity such a story deserves. But please, do tell.
Posted by: kafkaesque, esq. on October 29, 2002 11:37 AMHappy Birfday, fling poo!
Happy Burfday fromma Damyankee
And by "reticent" I mean...
Happy Birfdae, Miz Brittney!
None of you people know how to spel?
Posted by: jpoulos on October 29, 2002 12:41 PMOkay, here's the scoop, though expect to be wildly diappointed.
My stepfather, when I was around the age of 13, was casual acquaintances with Johnny Cash. I don't know them to be friends any longer, although, I honestly am not sure. My stepdad had this basement room he hung lots of shit on--wagon wheels, Coca-Cola calenders from the fifties, and personalized and autogrpahed Johnny Cash memorabilia. He had several signed albums, a signed satin tour jacket, and framed photographs of the two of them together.
One two seperate occasions Johnny Cash came by with his wife June to our home, once for spaghetti, once for lemonade, and both times I was sort of unaware of who exactly I was hanging with. This was just before Johnny made his comeback with the grunge covers and I figured him just another one of those near-celebrities I was always running into. Everyone in Nashville claims they are or once were famous. I was 13 and rather annoyed I was forced to spend an evening with these old people rather than on the telephone.
I had nearly forgotten all this, when I casually mentioned I'd dined with The Man In Black to one dong_resin and he found it curious I hadn't told more people.
Not much of a story, but there you go.
Posted by: brittney on October 29, 2002 02:35 PMI'm guessing Johnny eats his spaghetti "One Piece at a Time"?
Posted by: kafkaesque, esq. on October 29, 2002 03:11 PMHappy Birthday, Brittney! Hope they're all pretty good years ...
(btw, I've wondered if the line ... Greg he writes letters / and burns his cds ... isn't maybe the earliest popular reference to CD burning. But that's just me being trivia-obsessed.)
Posted by: octobersurprise on October 29, 2002 08:52 PMI didn't think about that. I always pictured Greg setting his CDs on fire. I think you may be right, though.
Posted by: witchstone on October 30, 2002 09:52 AMFor some reason (probably a dirty one), whenever I read the title of this thread, I think "Thunderslut Juice."
I think we have a winner. Thunderslut Juice--it put the thunder back in this slut!
*cut to exhausted slut wiping sweat off of her forehead and downing a bottle*
*cut to thunderslut smiling, looking refreshed and ready to get back into the ring, winking at the camera*
Happy Birthday Brittney.... sorry I'm so late. damn flu....
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