9622.net

"Hmm - guess I delete that picture now, no point in posting it on Halloween."

Can. Guess I can. Funny how the post hang-up thing never happens when you want it to.

"why is this bunny poop on my jack-o-lantern?"

"Alas, Poor Yorick. I knew him, Horat-- Jeez Louise, Ol' Yorick's noggin was huge wasn't it? And he's smellin' ripe. The hell with it, I'll be in my trailer flinging poop.."

"D-r-u-b-k? That fuckin' word don't exist, you cheatin' scrabbleslut bastid!"

"Eating dinner out of another organism's cranium? How barbaric."

I swear to God it was opposable yesterday.

Kiko stared, puzzled, at the congealing guacamole-like substance oozing from every orifice in the jack'o'lantern's scowling countenance. Then, with a gut-wrenching shriek, he pounced, driving his unruly, glistening red boner directly into its eye socket.

"Pumpkin again?"

Hey Crash; don't knock it till you've tried it.
Too bad there's no holidays involving watermelon. Ah, the stories.....

gaaaaahhhhh, you guys can make something nasty out of anything.

"Take this boogie as a token of my love, pumpkin-face!"

monkey boners & pumpkin eye sockets. oh my!

"... Anyway, I lived in the country, where there weren't many women, and though you're still a kid, inside you feel a man's feeling, and there was no way to relieve this feeling. So the idea, not mine but a real intelligent friend of mine's, of relieving ourselves with, to make love with ... how do I say this? With pumpkins. Pumpkins. Warm, soft, damp, with seeds inside, so round -- and we would -- toom ta toom -- help me find the words, Father -- we relieved ourselves with these pumpkins".
- Roberto Benigni/Night On Earth

EEEEEWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHH!

Yuck! Gross!

*considers passing up pumpkin pie this Thanksgiving*

EEEEEWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHH!

Yuck! Gross!

*considers passing up pumpkin pie this Thanksgiving*

9622: you're still a kid, but inside you feel a man's feeling

Why do pumpkins always seem to neglect their dental hygiene?

"Detective Coco inspected the scene carefully. This was the third festive orange skull to wash up on the shore this week, each of them ravaged in an unspeakable manner.

"Some days on the vice squad were harder than others."

"I could've sworn my Wilford Brimley-o-latern would take the contest. I'm never eating oatmeal again."

"Shit. I broke my nail."

I wish I was D-R-U-B-N-K this would all make sense.

"Man, that jolly green giant glory shot was intense! Poor little guy."

What, pray tell, is a glory shot? Is that anything like a (cover your eyes Ms. BF) money shot?

yeah, roma, that's actually what I meant, but work has been giving me some serious brainfarts lately, so it came out all wrong.

Thanks for clearing that up, Ufez. I figured it was a term I hadn't heard before.

The green stuff on the top of the jack o' lantern reminds me of this white trash-ish dessert my grandmother and mother would make, if I remember correctly, with cottage cheese, lime jello powder, cool whip, and a can of fruit cocktail. Nasty looking, but edible in that Miracle-Whip on Wonder Bread vien. (yeah, I know in the photo it's something leafy but humour me; I'm mezza drubk)

You know that monkey just picked his nose, the pumpkins, see the other berry for a bugar...

So I guess monkeys have been playing with their food longer than us.

So do you think looking human is the scare for them.............like that nice green leafy of a mostache, says something about having bugars in one's stache.

Do you mean booger?

(I understand in other regions of the world bugger has a, ahem, different connotation than it has here in the States. Here it is simply the sticky stuff that looks like rubber cement in one's snout.)

I also meant to say that here in the South it's a term of endearment-oh, isn't he a cute little booger? referring to a child, perhaps, or a pet.

In the south, people save their magic nose goblins and raise them as pets.

Much as I hate to interrupt a good booger thread... I just found this article. How cool is that? This place is a block from where I work.

Monkey-themed drinks (our server told us the owner simply loves primates) round out the selections, with options including the "Monkey Java" and "Gorillas in the Mist."

That's got 9622 Cocktail Hour written all over it.

As, of course, do these.

"Bonzo knelt down and sniffed the spoor. It was fresh. Soon the green giant would be his."
-Beyond The Valley Of The Jolly Green Giant

I confess I meant booger and not boogie. Shit, there goes my appalling bluff about having seen Boogie Nights. And Blame It On The Boogie has nothing to do with cocaine or mucus, right?

I also meant to say that here in the South it's a term of endearment-oh, isn't he a cute little booger? referring to a child, perhaps, or a pet

And sometimes we say that before we wipe our fingers on our pants.

See, you just can't kill a good booger thread, even with a monkey restaurant.

It's so nice to be part of the smart set.

At the end of the day, he liked to relax and trade booger jokes with his witty, urbane, friends. They were all on-line, you see, and knew a great deal about nasal mucus and its applicability to topical humor.

Great.

I didn't want to say this, as I was sure you wouldn't believe me, but the word for booger in Portuguese is macaco.

All the good animal names (since we were the first to bring them home) are Portuguese: gorilla, cobra, wolverine, newt.

I'll buy it, migs, as in spanish it's simply moco.

Ok...is it just me...and the fact that I've been sober way longer than anyone could possibly believe...but on the top of the pumpin, does there appear to be a minature dog? I'm sure it's the stem, and just the way the light is falling...but I swear, at first glance, I thought there was a small ceramic dog with a santa hat on top of the pumpkin...and this made no darn sense...as it's too early for xmas stuff...

Ok...is it just me...and the fact that I've been sober way longer than anyone could possibly believe...but on the top of the pumpin, does there appear to be a minature dog? I'm sure it's the stem, and just the way the light is falling...but I swear, at first glance, I thought there was a small ceramic dog with a santa hat on top of the pumpkin...and this made no darn sense...as it's too early for xmas stuff...

Darn it...I hate when I hallucinate twice....

Heh, Ufez, is that so? We also have monco for booger - but my guess is that comes from muco/mucus. It's slightly rude, whereas macaco is mainstream.

Now wake up, the rest of you!

I see the dog too...*goes looking for meds*

Ok...is it just me...and the fact that I've been sober way longer than anyone could possibly believe...but on the top of the pumpin, does there appear to be a minature dog?

I saw what looks like an elf head but dog gone it I don't see fido. I almost said something earlier but I figured if I said that....

uh the buger booger deal seemed a better comment.......

Actually now it looks like Underdog.

Miguel, I'm so sorry about Portugal. In this quiz that someone posted on the Europe thread in MeFi they say:

Located on the Atlantic Ocean, this country is one of the smallest and least developed nations in Western Europe.

Apparently, we should have been sending you beernuts this whole time.

Ooops, here's the quiz.

GAH~

Kevin, The moring radio just mentioned some 43 year old dude was arrested for doing the Jackie-O-Lantern.

Ha HAH!! I'm not 43.

"Jackie-O" lantern?

*shakes head at comedic Pandora Box*

That pumpkin looks like he was the victim of a vegan mob hit.

Presumably, it had turned coat and was an informer for the meat police. Beware the squash family. They lack honour.

*Shakes fist at pumpkin*
"Fie on thee, damned villain. Thou hast a poodle upon thy pate!"

Posted by: readymade on October 30, 2002 01:59 PM

Actually that poodle looks as if it belongs on "Peewee's Playhouse." *shudder*

.....looks like a pudle or a Benji dog.

Happy Halloween!

Kurt Warner?

Of course, these guys won the contest:

I think I'm going to be ill.
(I mean that Pink wig is soooo last year)

I think I'm going to be ill.
(I mean that Pink wig is soooo last year)

This Kurt Warner?

A hint.

Just yanking your chain, tizzie. Very nice costume.

Did anybody else dress up?? C'mon - show!

I am dressed as a warm leatherette.

That costume rocks, tizzie. It's the deadpan look on your face that makes it.

We had our quarterly company meeting yesterday. The entire senior staff showed up in drag...then proceeded to give powerpoint presentations, pausing every few minutes to hitch up their nylons.

Oh, and I'm dressed as someone in need of a warm leatherette.

No dressing up here.

I, however, am pretending to be a productive employee, so that's kind of a costume.

In the "KidsPost" section of the Washington Post, they asked kids to tell them what they liked and didn't like to get while trick-or-treating. One monkey-in-the-making had this to share:

My mom is not a normal mother. She feels it's her duty to give out toothbrushes at Halloween. Now this would be completely understandable if she was a dentist. But guess what? She's not. My mother just finds it funny to embarrass me as much as she can. Please tell her to stop.

-- Karen Orrick, 13, Bethesda

Heh. You go, girl!

My husband has tried to convince me that it would be really funny to paint my pregnant tummy up like a jack-o-lantern. I told that since we didn't have a little ceramic dog, it would never work...he's very confused but has put the paint brushes down... ;)

I haven't dressed up in my costume yet--that comes at bar time--but be assured that when I do, I will promptly post a photo so that all can gawk and admire. Or scream in horror (I'm War, one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse. But a very dainty War, with high heels and a nice corset).

Posted by: readymade on October 31, 2002 04:04 PM

I'll give you the tools, you come up with the costume! I can't afford a Halloween costume this year, so I'll give you some ideas from my closet:

blonde wig
black wig
brunette wig with red highlights
red feather boa
black & white feather boa
vinyl spiked mini skirt
vinyl corset
vinyl vest
black BDU army pants
wedding dress
black velour cowboy hat
camouflage vest
black military baseball hat
dog tags

Now, my pretties, tell me what I should be.

Did someone say corset?

It's always bar time somewhere, readymade. Bring on the corset!

I'd think you could combine them all and go as G.I. Joe, Special Hooker Edition.

witchstone, how about dog tags and the feather boa. Nothing else. (I have no idea what that makes you for Halloween, but that's not really my concern).

witchstone, if you slap all that together you'd have a pretty good Dennis Rodman.

witchstone, if you slap all that together you'd have a pretty good Dennis Rodman.

i never thought of it that way, but i suppose you're right.

hmmm, if dennis rodman and i have the same taste in clothes, i wonder if he'd let me raid his closet.

post, dammit.

Honey, it sounds like you already did.

shit! is that why i have those 3 pairs of size 13 basketball shoes?

dammit, i've got to stop smoking crack.

brunette wig with red highlights
red feather boa
wedding dress
camouflage vest
dog tags

Rambo's wife.

I'd think you could combine them all and go as G.I. Joe, Special Hooker Edition.

Gee, I seem to be a shadow of words for my web costume.........

Welcome to Fort Bragg, the '70s edition.

blonde wig
vinyl spiked mini skirt
vinyl corset
vinyl vest

nancy, and then find yourself a sid to kill.

Siiiiidddd .... all I wanted was a costume ...

We had seven - count 'em, seven - kids come to our door tonight for candy. Okay, ten if you count the three that came twice.

Sure, it's a cul-de-sac and all, but c'mon - I carve up perfectly good pumpkins for this pathetic showing?!? I do my part; I buy the candy, I stay home, I set out little decorations and play mood music - is it too much to ask for the children of America to do their part, too!?!

I think not.

Oh, and three were in that "too old to dress up in actual costumes, too young not to want candy" category that always pisses me off.

"Oh, look honey! It's a ... Patriots fan. And you must be a ... help me out here, kid ... okay, another Patriots fan, but in a different jersey."

On the bright side, Commish, you get to eat everything you didn't hand out.

Unless you're one of thos evil bastards that gives out toothbrushes. I bet you are, aren't you?

:P

On the flip side of that, we went through 7 bags of candy (with only 1 fun size candy for each kid). I was working late and on my drive home my cell had the message "Pick up some more candy or we're giving kids Marlboro Lights".

Not one trick or treater here in the land of wigs and novelties. Of course, we live on the fourth floor of an apartment hive collective, so I guess that's part of it. Also, when our neighbors see us, they tend to hiss and retreat into the shadows, oblivious to the screams of their captives.

Kids love Marlboro Lights.

I ran outta candy and had to give out dimes and quarters. Then I felt bad for the ones who'd gotten candy!

What the hell kind of panty waste kids you got out there? Give 'em non-filter Lucky Strikes! You want to raise a bunch of milquetoasts? That's what you're gonna do with a bunch of girly smokes like that, son.

By the way, not to drop character or anything, but is it Panty Waste or Panty Waist? I was never quite clear on that.

"Panty Waist" brings up 32,000 google results. "Panty Waste" only 450. My guess is the former.

Or, I suppose, I could have just looked it up.

Forget pantywaist. My favorite is nancy-boy.

Well, what the hell does pantywaist really mean? You're calling someone an elastic waistband?

"Panty Waste" could be a great insult for an ex-wife, as in "what a waste of panties she is!"

Just sayin'.

I always thought of it in the context of "you have a waist that is more appropriate for girlie panties than for the clothes of a man"--that is, a simultaneous slur against the man in question as well as all of womanhood. That's probably way off, though.

My fave: candy-ass
I especially like it as a verb. "Did you see Twellman candy-ass that shot, instead of blasting it into the goal like he should have?"

handing out candy? sounds sweet. however, this was my halloween:

(actual photo taken by actual fishfucker.)

if only you all lived where i live.

(note the elvises pounding foster's in the background. i did.)

It's clear that, compared to our friend with the piscatorial fetish, I have no life.

On the other hand, I was in bed sleeping early last night and that's what's important to those of us in our advanced years.

panty waist. nancy boy. bah....big girl's blouse.

anyone else still hung over from halloween?

anyone else leave his/her wallet in a cab in the wee hours of the morning?

if only you all lived where i live.

Your area may be bigger fish yet we have our Oak Lawn of Dallas, and the Elviss I saw matched the Bobby with the red dress...........

not that i meant to imply that everywhere else is boring, just that we have more cops in dresses.

maybe.

This is pretty belated, but here is my husband and I about to bring on the Apocalypse. I know, I know, you think to yourself, "That War is far too dainty to bring on the Apocalypse," but don't be fooled. Note the bodies of soldiers that I'm using for armbands, and the flags of the US and Iraq planted in my hair, as if they were just some accessory or plaything. Cruel and cavalier, that's what I am. And I've got Pestilence to back me up so all is good. Nothing a little Small Pox can't do to scare up a good Armageddon.

Posted by: readymade on November 3, 2002 04:08 PM

This is pretty belated, but here is my husband and I about to bring on the Apocalypse. I know, I know, you think to yourself, "That War is far too dainty to bring on the Apocalypse," but don't be fooled. Note the bodies of soldiers that I'm using for armbands, and the flags of the US and Iraq planted in my hair, as if they were just some accessory or plaything. Cruel and cavalier, that's what I am. And I've got Pestilence to back me up so all is good. Nothing a little Small Pox can't do to scare up a good Armageddon.

Posted by: readymade on November 3, 2002 04:09 PM

oops.

Posted by: readymade on November 3, 2002 04:10 PM

As long as you weren't the Whore of Babylon...heh...

more pics! more pics!

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