9622.net

Dammit mr_cd .. beat me by mere seconds.

Here's what I was gwanna post:

Ok, it's not the best image, but it's top of the google for "kafkaesque +monkey", and nearly as cute as the k-ster himself, if not quite so velour.

Have a blinder, matey! And here's a drink to many drubken ones to come ...

Well, happy day, sir!

If we threw a party for you, one would hope that it would look something like this.

Happies to you, kaf-master-esque!

Posted by: readymade on November 12, 2002 06:38 PM

Well thanks, all of you. I'm seeing some definite Stella in my future.

Good show, Mr. Esque. And many more.

That painting up top is by Max Ernst's widow Dorothea Tanning. From that site:

'Birthday' (1942) is a full length selfportrait of the artist at the age of thirty, bare breasted and standing in front of an endless succession of open doors. At her feet a grotesque succubus crawls.

I think she's still alive, though some 62 years the senior of our birthday monkey. Endless open doors and grotesque crawling succubi to you too, kaf.

Endless open doors and grotesque crawling succubi

Now you're talking!

Kafka, is it your birthday?
*asks innocently*

I'm seeing some definite Stella in my future.

a la Brando, one hopes. "Stellllaa!"

Happy day to you, good sir Kaf.

Also, my grandmother's name was Stella. I'm just sayin'.

Wow, your b-day again, your catching up at 32 kaf, I joke. Hope you have a wonderful time time celebrating your birthday.

Uh the first pic, is that some pr0n version of The Wizard of Oz? I think I saw a flying monkey at the ravaging woman's feet....the second pic, awww how cute.

Many many superfluously happy returns, sir Esque. May there be rejoicing and tearful reunions - in your honour!

awww how cute

See, that's how I think of Mr. K. Almost causes me to question my sexuality *shudder*. But then I think of luscious thundersluts, and am miraculously cured ...

Hoo-Rah!

Happy Bithday to our own Blonde Avenger, Mr. Kaf.

Had I known, I'd have baked you a cake. Actually that's a lie. I'm far too lazy and unskilled in the kitchen to do such a thing, but I woulda thought about it.

Tell ya what. I have in front of me sticks of both strawberry and pudding* flavor Pocky.

I could put a stick of one or the other flavor in the fist of my Groundskeeper Willie and Lionel Hutz action figures and have them perform a Pocky Joust on my desk for your amusement, m'liege. That would be swell would it not?

*which really does taste like pudding somehow.

Happy Birthday mssr. kafkascampiesque esq. I would toast you, but you wouldn't fit in my toaster oven.

I am fascinated by Pocky, though I have never had it. I would also like to order a few bottles of Ranmue, but am afraid of having glass drinks shipped to me by the USPS.

Rather than use a twist top cap, ramune bottles are closed with a vacuum sealed glass marble. Simply opening the bottle is an adventure by itself! To open your bottle of ramune, punch out the plastic plunger from the perforated ring it's attached to, place it in the hole in the thick plastic mouthpiece, and use it to depress the marble down into the bottle with gentle pressure. Ramune is carbonated, so make sure you've got a towel handy because your ramune will erupt on you, even if it doesn't look shaken up.

Sounds kinky.

I just drank an 8-ounce bottle of Chubby™ Brand Cotton Candy flavored soda. Tasted like cotton candy. The taste of cotton candy, like bubble gum is easy to recreate cause it was synthetic to begin with so there's nothing to try to replicate.

What a brand name though. The label has a pic of a rotund Ziggy-esque child in a jaunty askew ballcap. It says it's a procudt of Canada though. Maybe marketings different there. There's a bottle of banana flavor in the fridge on deck.

Fascinating. I just had a beer. I think I may even have another one (just for the celebratory occasion, of course).

Happy Birthday, Kafkaesque!

Me? I had some Fruit Leather. Quite tasty indeed.

Oh yeah, happy brifday kaffers. Hope it's all...wait a minute. Nipples! w00t!

I've not had a Stella since I came back from London. This is the famous Stella Artois, correct? Have another one for me. Your boss will understand.

Kaf, may your wisdom continue to outpace your years, and your luck exceed them both. Tonight? Warsteiner Dunkel in your honor. Salut, mi boddhisattva!

Yeah, kaf, good luck with that "wisdom outpacing your years" thing. The only thing of mine that's outpacing my years is the size of my waistband.

Crash, you may be pleased (or amused) to know that tonight we toast with Keystone Light.

Truly, the beer to drink when you want more than one (or want something different).

That is amusing, Commish. What's even more amusing is that I am currently drinking Busch Light because on the last trip to the grocery store it was fifty cents cheaper than Keystone for a thirty-pack.

The sad part is that there wasn't even any hesitation on my part:

"Ooooh, this is cheaper."

*nab*

Gentlemen!

It's not about volume.

Happy Bday Kaf! Many monkey returns!

Shit, I was drubk beyond recall last night. Now my effing head hurts.

It's not about volume.

If we're talking alcohol here, Unk, I beg to differ.

*begs*

I would toast you, but you wouldn't fit in my toaster oven.

I have a really nice toaster oven.

Yes, stav is right. Sometimes it's all about volume.

and i've said before and i'll say it again, happy b-day ya' big lug.

I am leaving for London tonight, Msr. Kaf. I shall give your regards to the motherland. And all the Windsors, of course.

*Hmm... Must think of something witty for my 1st comment on 9622, must think of witty 1st comment...*

Happy B-Day Kafkaesque.

I'm sorry, that's just not witty enough. We'll have to ask you to leave.

...

...

...

Wait, come back, Shane! Shane, come back! Shane!

(come on, I had to do it)

Stella! Stella!

I'm yellin' Stella 'cause I'm your fella!

*accepts oscar, thanks director, family*

Happy Nerf-day Kaf!

... *gains weight, paints self white, experiments with human-animal hybrids*

I swallowed a bug.

What flavor?

I know an old lady who swallowed a fly.

I'm pleased to announce that my lovely wife bought me not only the Herzog-Kinski DVD box set, but also Ray Harryhausen collection Jason and the Argonauts skeletons.

This is indeed the best of all possible worlds.

She was trying to decide between the Kinski and this classic.

I'm glad you're happy. I'da picked the chicken.

You can get all Kinskiesque and re-enact the end of Aguirre, surrounding yourself with an empire of skeletons and chattering monkeys.

I apologize profusely for my lateness.

Happy belated birfday m'boy.

I apologize profusely for my lateness.

Happy belated birfday m'boy.

post, dammit?

Look at me, late to the party.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Kaf!

I am leaving for London tonight.

Bring an umbrella: it's raining.

I'm pleased to announce that my lovely wife bought me not only the Herzog-Kinski DVD box set

wow. that's one hell of a gift. much better than what i was going to get you.

Bring an umbrella: it's raining.

Well, that puts a cramp in my "Live From London: Thundersluts Nude Outside Buckingham Palace" documentary that I was going to film.

I guess I'll just have to drink instead. Excellent.

Damn. But on the bright side, maybe it'll be sunny tomorrow. Need any help with that drinking? (Although I did swear to stop this morning, after a particularly bloody-minded hangover ...)

(ps if you're thinking of ways to say "no, you scary internet psychopath person", then bear in mind that I don't offend easily, but it would have been impolite for me not to at least offer you a drink while you're in town)

Are you buying?

I'm not sure that came out right, either. Jude and I will be very happy, regardless of whether you do or do not choose to join us for some refreshing beverages in the public house. I realise you have a busty busy film schedule to meet ;-)

Well, that puts a cramp in my "Live From London: Thundersluts Nude Outside Buckingham Palace" documentary that I was going to film.

Why? Rain is very cinematic. Oh, and I'd like to reserve a copy of the film now, thanks.

Also, please take walrus up on his offer. Isn't the prospect of a rare cross-continent 9622 meet-up worth the effort? We expect a full report.

(Hey, that reminds me, wasn't there supposed to be some meet-up with tizzie and/or goneill and/or brittney recently? If so, why haven't we heard about that?)

delete@me

Yes, ok. I'll email you my mobile number forthwith.

Excellent.

And thus began Walrus' descent into the dark underworld of white slavery.

woohoo!

I was a party-pooper on meeting goneill while she was in Kentucky. I know, I know. I was worried about blowing all the money I don't have at the casino, so then I got invited to a party, and I thought, OK, I'll go to the party instead. The worst part is that not only did I not go to meet goneill at the casino, but the first person I talked to at the party said (I am not making this up):

"Hey, did you hear about this Harry Potter broom they invented for kids? It vibrates!"

Oh dear.

Witchstone, go meet Walrus. You'll be glad you did.

We're going to take pictures, even!

I wonder if Miguel will phone up?

Tizze too funny...

What? Where? Who? I'm recovering from a two-day computer breakdown here but warm, nay, hot regards to Kaf (happy birthday, dear fellow!) and, yes, I'd love to phone. Just gimme a number!

Hot regards?

I like it. I'm gonna walk into the nearest bar and offer some chick my hot regards. I can't wait.

hey jonmc. what happened to your blog, man?

host go poopy. wait for to come back.

host go poopy. wait for to come back.

A good blogger name.

What? Where? Who? I'm recovering from a two-day computer breakdown here and, yes, I'd love to phone. Just gimme a number!

I can see I'm going to have to be the voice of reason at this event.

Just got back from meeting up with witchie & Gary. Was a really pleasant couple of hours ... drinks were drunk, tales were told. Could have done with a couple more hours really, to get properly drubk ;-)

Anyway, j & I are off for eats now (and to get more liquor, of course). Photos later tonight, maybe ...

What? I thought you were meeting tonight, Saturday. Dammit! Looks like I missed the phonecall then. :(

Oh yeah, Migs: I emailed you this morning about the change of plan, but I suppose it didn't get there in time :-( They got exclusive tickets to the theatre, so we could only squeeze a few swift pints in beforehand. Still, a nice time had by all.

It was a shame to miss speaking to you ... but you're always welcome to call. Just watch those international charges ...

Anyway, we're literally just about to make like shepherds and get the flock out of here, so catch you later.

Can't find the camera software and my network is fubar, so I have to find another way to get the photos onto this PC. They'll probably appear here just when you least expect it ...

I probably broke it. I tend to do that.

First International 9622 Meet-up was a rousing success, although I wasn't able to get drubk with my British monkeys, as I had a date with Dames Maggie & Judi that evening.

Walrus & Roobarb are completely charming and did, in fact, buy me a cocktail--so no broken promises to ruin the day. They also introduced me to World's End "probably the biggest pub in the world" as it says on the door. They were kind enough to venture into Camden on a Saturday (sure a form of hell on earth) and I greatly appreciated it.

As I was their first "internet sighting," I hope I didn't frighten them too much. Just enough, perhaps.

Cheers! Next round is on me!

(Did you really see both Dames?)

Posted by: readymade on November 18, 2002 02:34 PM

World's End???

As in named after the Sandman bar? How cool is that?

Yes, they were both in a new David Hard play called "Breath of Life." They were fantastic (especially Maggie, she can do no wrong in my eyes, except for maybe doing the Harry Potter films) but the material wasn't quite up to their talent.

oops, a little bit of a Freudian slip there. I meant David Hare.

Wow. That is so dame cool.

Posted by: readymade on November 18, 2002 03:04 PM

You met Harry Potter?!

no, wait...

Wow! So is it true that his broom vibrates?!?

And Eddie Tenpole Tudor is in the Harry Potter movies! It's just too weird!

Well actually, it's more of a shimmy.

Wait a minute--Miguel was going to call? How did I miss that?

*munches furiously on social tea biscuits, which are surprisingly addictive*

ahh geez!

Kill! Kill!

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