9622.net

I haven't started a thread in a while and this picture was too good to pass up. Plus, it gives me a chance to put forth the quote:

now we live on the sea and relax and ride the tide,
drug running on this panamanian schooner.
she walks the deck in a black dress,
and me i dress up in black.

I don't know about the monkeys in Panama, but the people there all talk as fast as the guy that used to be in those Micro Machines commercials. I think he was also a teacher on Saved By the Bell. Regardless, I've met three (3!) different Panamanians, and all of them had quite swift tongues.

oh, and I choose "Don't Work".

An ode to Panama.

I always assumed that song was about Panama Beach, FL, ebk. Maybe I'm dead ass wrong. Oh well, Top Jimmy was a much better song anyways.

Did you notice that the last photo is of a "Night Monkey"? Just imagine one of those bastards showing up in your room at night, when you're almost asleep.

You lay prone under your covers, unable to move, as the Night Monkey uses his telepathic powers to reassure you that it will be all right.

You are filled with terror, somehow paralyzed as the Night Monkey raises a small baton and inserts it into your skull just under your eyeball.

Suddenly, apocalyptic visions fill your brain. The world is exploding! It's armageddon!

Then, you feel yourself ascending, whooshing upwards to the realm of the Night Monkey. As you lose consciousness, you hear the tittering voice of the Night Monkey:

Another one for Cardoso's menagerie!

Uh oh. Did you see that we can adopt a monkey? What do you think--are we good parental figures?

Maybe not, but they'll have a hell of a ride growing up!

Our monkey would have the grandest hats of all!

We could make copies of him and swap ... er, uh, nebbermind.

Just what I was gonna point out. And you can name your monkey, too!

I would name him Rufus Xavier Sasparilla

Just imagine one of those bastards showing up in your room at night, when you're almost asleep.

Aargh!

Monkeys and hotels do not mix: the case of the South African serial biter. Funnily enough he prefers Anglican primates.

well, who doesn't?

P.S. Oh and Kaf - here's some dubious Colin Vearncombe for ya!

The lesson to be gleaned from that article is when you are attacked by a baboon, you should always respond with mental cruelty and cutting sarcasm. Brute force is largely ineffective.

Forget the monkeys, read the Hot Gossip:

A former Baywatch actor will be allowed to pursue his lawsuit against Playgirl magazine for creating the false impression that he appeared nude inside its January 1999 issue.

I'm going to give the impression that Miguel is appearing nude in the next column. --->

This guy from the link looks like a badger mixed otter mixed woodchuck.

PS, here is a Panama hat for the guy, it will give him a wiser look.

kafkaesque's dream. (with patented "rollover-explanation" technology)

What are those things? Fritos?

And if it was my dream, there'd be a snake wearing a vest.

The Four Fritos of the Apocalypse!

I knew there was a reason I've always been frightened off by Fritos, and Fridas, for that matter. I think it was the unibrow.

The Lexis/Nexis rep around here is way into monkeys and has six or so she cares for at her house. I have yet to talk to her about this. She isn't around all the time. Field trip anyone?

Lexus is my least favorite Miller book.

(what's lexis/nexis?)

Hard-core, big money legal/business/news database. Free for law students, big money for firms and practitioners. In other words....Law student crack. Okay, enough law shit.

Natty, if you e-mail me a password I'll love you forever.

*sues witchstone*

True story: when I was about 29 I was offered the editorship of Portuguese Playboy, but my girlfriend at the time made me turn it down.

*Ping! There goes another Latin lover myth*

*sues witchstone*

True story: when I was about 29 I was offered the editorship of Portuguese Playboy, but my girlfriend at the time made me turn it down.

*Ping! There goes another Latin lover myth*

And when I was 30...

It was a very good year.
I grew hair in my ears.
I was Cult Novelist of the Year.

Did I miss the Natty memo? Migs, I would love to. But I sooooo totally can't. Sorry. Are you working again? I think I missed that memo too.

For the first time in a long time, my lunch is made up almost entirely of food that requires utensils: Corn Chowder, Rice Pudding and ....well, I suppose I could eat the jalapeno cornbread with a spoon...and the Snapple, too although it would be remarkably inefficient.

You eat Corn Chowder with utensils?

What the hell?

Well, just a strawberry Flav-R-Straw, usually..

My son has a unibrow.

Is he in Oasis?

No, the Brothers Gallagher have been tweezing lately, thank god.

According to an ex-boss, it's not a "unibrow", it's a "Persian eyebrow", and it's highly desirable.

Of couse, you have to take into account that Crash's boss was a Cylon.

I've had an alarming amount of eyebrow dandruff lately. I suppose I could use Head & Shoulders, but then they'd have to rename it Head & Shoulders & Eyebrows, which some might find frightening...

Oh, Starbuck! I miss you so!

*sigh*

That's not dandruff, mi amigo. It's eyebrow mites!

Aiiieeee!

In other, more important news, Michael Jackson nearly dropped a baby off a fifth-floor balcony.

I bet Joe is proud.

Oh, well then...

prepare for McNally's Traveling Mite Circus, coming to an optometrist near you...

Flaaaaaaaming Death!

... Michael Jackson nearly dropped a baby off a fifth-floor balcony.

Hmmm. Seems he was dangling his son over the balcony as a "joke." Is it possible to repo his human race membership card?

While we are talking about cylons and Battlestar Gallatica, Richard Hatch (BG's Apollo, not the naked fat man who won the first Survivor) has just published his fourth BG novel and has been, for many years, lobbying for a new BG moving starring.... Richard Hatch as Apollo.

Poor Richard Hatch.

Michael "Suge" Jackson.

jon, contact me privately about the eyebrow issue. We need to talk.

I heard Michael Jackson dropped Richard Hatch off a balcony when he was a child.

That Richard Hatch was on The Streets of San Francisco with Micheal Douglas' hair. That might have made him jump off a balcony.

A question for the ladies: Have any of you ever once found Michael Douglas sexy? Even just a teeny bit?

I didn't think so. How Michael Douglas came to be known as a sex symbol and stat in all those sexy movies where he puts his oily hair and fish lips all over the supple young flesh of today's hottest screen actresses is beyond me.

He creeps me out and I want to know if I am the only one.

I'll see your revulsion, and raise you a "completely mystified."

Posted by: readymade on November 20, 2002 08:22 PM

On second thought, it was unfair of me to leave out the monkey dudes. You all can accurately judge the alleged creepiness of one Michael Douglas as well as we can. Please feel free to weigh in as well.

Michael Douglas: inexplicable.

But Karl Malden?! Whoo boy!

Karl gets my Mr. Magoo mojo workin' overtime.
That nose is a babe magnet.

I'd do him.

Also, that panamanian howler monkey isn't cute, it's

and has stolen my soul. You know, what was left after my midnight-at-the-crossroads bargaining in my youth.

to cool to be forgotten, hey, hey.

I hate to ask, but when was Karl Malden ever slobbering on the young lassies? And, at least he could act. Michael Douglas always seems like the same "Romancing the Stone" doofus in everything he's in.

What the hell do I know though? I had a crush on Gene Wilder in my pre-teen youth.

a crush on Gene Wilder? Oh dear.
I had a crush on Bobby Sherman.
He was dreamy.

Never had a crush on Michael Douglas. But I must admit that after seeing Wonder Boys and Traffic I got the notion that perhaps he could act.

The Kirk Douglas/Michael Douglas "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" imbroglio is quite interesting.

It is? I never heard of it.

Are Kirk Douglas and Jack Palance the same person?

Traffic? I thought that was a great film apart from Michael Douglas' parts. Just to, you know, argue.

Traffic blew. Oh, wait, that was Blow.

I thought Traffic was pretty overrated myself. But Wonder Boys blew me away--that was a truly terrific film.

Still, had he touched Katie Holmes with those liver-spotted hands I woulda ralphed.

He's more unattractive in the book. More like a wrinkled Jeffrey Tambor type with liver-spotted hands.

I thought traffic was overrated as well, but I do admit to having a man-crush on Don Cheadle.

Do they get busy in the book? He and Katie?

Traffic is excellent. I think it should be mandatory viewing for every lawmaker in the country.

Not with the man-crushes again. Although I admit that I......Don Cheadle? Huh?

Jose Feliciano! rrrr!

Yes to Don Cheadle.

The film of Wonder Boys is actually quite faithful to the book except there is one HUGE part of the book missing (I'm not going to tell you what). I guess they figured they didn't have time to tell that part of the story. Anyway, no, he & Katie don't get it on. She's supposed to be a blonde Mormon from Provo in the book. My guess is Michael Chabon has not met a lot of Mormon girls from Provo because she was far too functional on the East Coast.

And I think in the movie they made Grady slightly more likeable than the character actually is.

Okey doke. Now I am reading it.

Thanks, witchy.

Then you have to read The Adventures of Kavalier & Clay. No really, I insist.

Dammit?

Are you or are you not in England right now, Witchy? If you are, shouldn't you be gallavanting off for a jaunt on the moors or something?

Hey, yeah.

It was just a short trip--four days. Far too short.

If I were still in London, would I be wasting precious minutes posting here? No! I would be drinking!

Four days?!

That sucks a mountain of ass. Not even enough time to kill the jetlag.

Hey walrus--where's the evidence?

any solutions to the eyebrow dandruff problem, would be interested to know how to get rid of it. thanks

*tries to picture a mountain of ass*

9622.net: solutions to the eyebrow dandruff problem

adampsyche: *tries to picture a mountain of ass*

I'll get the climbing gear, dude.

I claim this ass in the name of Spain!

have you got a flag?

I'm working on it. I see a midnight blue casement, alive with the shining faces of lemurs!

Erudition or dyslexia. It's your choice.

Oh, never mind.

And oh my god it was like I had typed in this comment and then I noticed that I spelled "casement" wrong and then I fixed it and then I had two posts and then I went to delete one of the posts and that went OK and then the site was all like "dude! you gotta rebuild the site!" so I click the thing and I rebuild the site and I get a 500 error and my machine starts yelling about The Creator and Nomad Error! Error! Nomad! and Does Not Compute! so then I come back here and make my witty little comment about dyslexia and then the comment disappears anyway and Miguel was all WHEEEEEEEEEEEE!

But really, who spells casement wrong?

I think you're hiding something.

They're on to me.

Mom, Kafkaesque is scaring me!

Don't worry, dear. Just give the nice man all your cookies and money.

He keeps looking at my shiny patent leather shoes!

But you've buffed them so very... very well. I can see my face!

Ufez gets one million points for the obscure Eddie Izzard quote. But he loses half for beating me to it.

I'm glad somebody got it. My twelve seconds spent typing in five words and hitting the "post" button weren't wasted.

God bless you, lupo.

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