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Oooh! Here's an actual photograph of Kibabu, from the Taronga Zoo website, which has this to say about the big lug:

Born in 1977, Kibabu the silverback leads the group at Taronga Zoo. He is a perfect role model for the group exercising firm and fair control over the three adult females, Kriba, Frala, and Mouila, and his four children, Haoko, Anguka, Shabani and Safari.

post already!

Hand relief?

Izzat what the kids are calling it nowadays?

Next time I try to seduce some sweet thang, I'll have to try that out--"How about some relief, dollface?" and hope she dosen't hand me an aspirin.

Oh. Oh dear.

U2 - Who's Going To Wank Your Wild Monkeys

You're dangerous 'cause you're simian
You're dangerous, you're shooting monkey blanks
Well you left my heart empty as a vacant lot
For any spirit to haunt

Hey hey sha la la
Hey hey

You're an accident waiting to happen
You're a piece of glass left there on the beach
Well you tell me things I know you're not supposed to
Then you leave me just out of reach

Hey hey sha la la
Hey hey sha la la

Who's gonna wank your wild monkeys
Who's gonna drown in your blue sea
Who's gonna wank your wild monkeys
Who's gonna fall at the foot of thee

Well you stole it 'cause I needed the cash
And you killed it 'cause I wanted revenge
Well you're a role model for all the other apes
Kikabu, can we still be friends

Hey hey sha la la
Hey hey sha la la

Who's gonna wank your wild monkeys
Who's gonna drown in your blue sea
Who's gonna wank your wild monkeys
Who's gonna fall at the foot of thee

Oh, the deeper I spin
Oh, the hunter will sin for your silverback skion
Took a drive in the dirty rain
To a place where the wind calls your name
Under the trees the river laughing at you and me
Hallelujah, heavens white rose
The doors you open
I just can't close

Don't turn around, don't turn around again
Don't turn around, your monkey heart
Don't turn around, don't turn around again
Don't turn around, and don't look back
Come on now love, don't you look back

Who's gonna wank your wild monkeys
Who's gonna drown in your blue sea
Who's gonna taste your salt water kisses
Who's gonna give you hand relief

Who's gonna wank your wild monkeys
Who's gonna give you hand relief

2much

well, that's my internal monologue for the evening, now.
Thanks so much, wonderchicken.

Days Run Away Like Wild Monkeys Wanking Over The Hills - Chianski.

Cover me, while he sleeps
Cover me, when he breathes
You throw his pearls before the swine
Make the monkey blind
Cover me, darling please
Monkey, monkey, monkey
Don't you know you're going to wank the monkey!

--Peter Gabriel. Wank the Monkey

There was a woman in the jungle
And a monkey on a tree.
The zoo keeper man he was followin' me.
He said "Stop what you're doing."
"Get down upon your knees."

Uh, never mind, I've decided not to go there.

Wow. This is like a bit I saw on the Daily Show a couple a years back when Nancy Walsh went to a pig farm and had to, um, collect a sample for artificial insemination. The lady made Nancy do it. The pig got up on this little stand thingy and nancy donned a glove (hey, at least it was safe sex!) and reached through a hole in the wall to, well, beat off the pig. When the pig, um, finished, he let off this horrid squeal and kind of shuddered a bit. The look on Nancy's face was priceless.

How did I miss that one?

I'm damned if that doesn't sound just like an episode of Sex and the City I saw once.

When Nancy Walsh left the Daily Show, they did a restrospective and I finally got to see that clip. It was one of those things I will carry around in the back of my head, in the dark place, for the rest of my life.

I'm sorry, but "spanking the monkey" for a monkey has got to set up some kind of circular-reasoning black hole in the universe that will doom us all.

I thought it was Beth Littleford that yanked the piggy wanky! I am almost positive. She also got a grandma to taste a flavored condom.

Could've been Beth Littleford. Actually, it proabably was.

*waits behind the monkey, five bucks in hand*

"Hurry up, dude! I ain't got all day!"

You see, in my scenario above, I'm waiting in line to be pleasured. I am NOT trying to pay the monkey for his semen.

Just thought I'd clear that up a bit.

Also, now that I think about it, five bucks seems a lot to pay for something that any old Thunderslut would probably do for four.

Four bucks. Not four monkeys.

Maybe I should write all of this down before I post.

Look who's back! Chef!

Obviously marriage has scrambled his posting skills.

Oh wait, he didn't have any to begin with.

Welcome Chef! Don't look at the thread with the killer whale in it, whatever you do!

Heya Chef!

Good to have you back!

hey witchy, you don't mean this one, do you?

Also, now that I think about it, five bucks seems a lot to pay for something that any old Thunderslut would probably do for four.

Poor Chef, he's already willing to pay for "hand relief." Proving once again that everything changes after you get married.

Welcome back!

Chefstah! Chefstah!

Good to have ya back!

Pictures please.

**waves to chef**

How the hell are you?

btw, I still maintain that it was Nancy Walsh, as I also re-saw it during the retrospective that ebk spoke of. but nobody cares about that, cc has returned!

*whistles at Chef*

Wow, ColdChef just got a lot hotter--marriage looks good on you.

Just doing my part to prove the notion that guys get sexier with a wedding band on.

Sorry Ufez, Beth seems to recall that it was her.

*gaff* thanks pardonthem. maybe it was Beth Littleford's send off show.

CC-I would just like to say that only a limited amount of fun was had your expense while you were romancin' the wife. But it was some of the best fun had round these parts, since, well, ever!

Oh, wait. That doesn't sound nice at all. Ahem.

By the by, did a crazy man run up to you in SF and start humping your leg? Just wondering, you know, 'cause I'm curious. *looks around for fish, notices that he's conspicuously absent*

Sadly, I was not fishfucked. That would have been nice and random, though.

And the whale pictures? Abso-fucking-lutely brilliant. I am unable to stop laughing.

Also, I have all the wedding photos (taken on my leetle deegital camera) on Ofoto.

Send me an email and I'll send you the password (for some reason, I can't just link to the album).

Don't look at the thread with the killer whale in it, whatever you do!

Jeezus, no, killer whales charge 6 bucks! They're expensive, them whales.

Welcome back, Chef!

*formulates a plan to leave the site every six weeks or so, just to get all the "Welcome Back"s*

Oh, and it's my birthday, too.

Plus, I got a new job and I'm moving to New York.

(psst. he's lying)

Quiet, you!

Tell us about all the snack foods you ate!

Welcome back, ColdChef. You sound...more mature, well-rounded, worldly. Have we lost forever that young, spunky little CC we all knew and loved? Hee hee. Just kidding.

*formulates a plan to leave the site every six weeks or so, just to get all the "Welcome Back"s*

I've tried that. It doesn't work. They all go on without me.

*sniff*

Someone's got to do the work, kid.

*sings*

I'm just a gigolo,
when the end comes I know
Life goes on without me,....

I Ain't Got Nobody......

And all this time I thought that guy was David Lee Roth.

And all the time I thought that guy was Vince Neil.

Welcome back, Chef, amigo. And congrats again on the nuptialization!

OK. Chef's back.

Now where the hell are:

Lupo
Bridgie

who else is AWOL?

goneill. AWOL.

Yea, I was wondering about her. Where has that girl gone? I miss her.

Lupo and Bridgie - don't make me start one of those embarrassing "Would It Kill Ya To Call?" threads to root you out.

romakimmy has been noticably absent for a while as well.

and pikachu lolita.

As for goneill, you can always check her blog. It seems like she's got "a lot going on" right now. Perhaps she's too distracted for monkeyville.

By which means I have cleverly deduced that the lot of us do NOT have "a lot going on right now."

You could take that two ways: we're either pathetic, or we have servants who do the dirty work.

or really boring jobs

the lot of us do NOT have "a lot going on right now."

that's not true. I mean, c'mon. We've got snack foods, right, jonmc? And we've got our swap cds to listen to. And we can look at ColdChef's wedding pictures. right?

god, we're pathetic.

I'll take Boring Jobs for $400, Alex.

and the answer is "Making rich people richer."

"Question: What am I doing in this cubicle?"

I'm digging life in the cubefarm, so far. Beats the salesfloor, for what it's worth.

here i am.

i've been in mourning about the wedding. the site just isn't the same without you, ya fucker.

and i recently learned how to rent a movie - the write-up was a bitch.

'sides, work is only part of the day. I get to wander around lower Manhattan after work and look at all the big buildings.

Although, I am fighting a sore throat and an attack of zits today.

goniell, I was thinking that the conundrum of anarchists fighting about how to make decisions for running an anarchist bookstore was probably keeping you occupied ;)

I just read that. It is a connundrum. I've always wondered how anarchy-based decision making occured. I always assumed it was something like mutual consensus when needed and "you do your thing, I'll do mine" for everything else.

Um, if ya don't mind me askin', goneill, whats the name of this anarchist bookstore and where is it?

mayday books. 1st Avenue between 9th and 10th streets. My shift is on Monday night between 6:30 and 9:00.

I think it's supposed to be something like that EBK.

Except there's a bollocks in there somewhere.

And burning. There's got to be some burning.

Actually its more like this...

We went to the Philly Pizza Company
And ordered some hot tea
The waitress said well no, we only have it iced
So we jumped up on the table and shouted anarchy...

Anarchy. Must have something to do with spiders. Right?

...and someone played a Beach Boys song, on the juke box/ it was California Dreamin', and so we started Screamin' on such a winter's day.....

damn you, jonmc.

Forget Anarchy, I much prefer Lethargy.

if you don't have mojo nixon than your store could use some fixin'

Hey, not that this has anything to do with anything, which it doesn't, but I saw a splendid movie tonite. 13 Conversations About One Thing. I quite liked it - very nonlinear and interesting stories, well acted. Two thumbs up on my side of the couch, and on hubby's too. Several dogs wagged their tails. It's a good flick.

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