When the President returned, she held out her glass in a toast. "To whatever lusty demon crawled into you tonight," she said. They clinked glasses. "Amen to that," President Bush said. He drank his wine.
Within minutes, the President felt a rush of lust. His eyes dilated. "Let's get naked," he grunted, pulling off his shorts. Matylda hurriedly pulled her evening dress over her head and slid out of her velour camiknickers. He had never seen anything so beautiful--Matylda seemed to be shining with a supernatural light. His vision was seemingly magnified and enhanced--he found himself staring into her pores, her cells, then backing out to look at her as she changed. She metamorphosed before his eyes, her breasts swelling, growing fantastically large, her hips expanding outward.
She's exotic lookin, him a bull.
He has quit the drinking, it's too dull.
Mig don't let Bush get inbetween you & her.
Grab some pruning sheers,
Make room for Mig the Romancer.
PS, What else was I suppose to say, run lady run...
Posted by: Thomcatspike on November 22, 2002 11:43 AMIf her earrings are missing at the end of the evening, I'd check his pockets.
Posted by: tizzie on November 22, 2002 12:00 PMYes! anathema final has a title around here. Sweet.
Posted by: anathema on November 22, 2002 12:05 PMThis one is my favourite of George, lately. What's wrong with this picture?
Posted by: witchstone on November 22, 2002 12:09 PM
He's a freakin' robot. He can see right through those things.
Posted by: anathema on November 22, 2002 12:11 PMGeorge W. Bush: World's Worst Espionage Agent.
Now, ma'am, you got to tell me the sec-urt playuns for that fang-doodle gon' blow up the planet. I got the big oil blubberpants, they like this planet, and I'm for sumpin' diddley...uh... diddloo...um.
What was I sayin'?
Posted by: kafka-over-a-bed-of-leafy-greens on November 22, 2002 12:13 PMWow. Sorry. That was weird.
Conceptual.
Posted by: kafka-over-a-bed-of-leafy-greens on November 22, 2002 12:14 PMWasn't there some big brou-ha-ha over on the blue pages about Clinton failing to take the lens cap off? Maybe it's a presidential requirement: Must be able to see through lens caps
Posted by: pardon me on November 22, 2002 12:18 PM*derail*--When I did a little customer service work, we were told to call them "notebooks," not "laptops."
Posted by: anathema on November 22, 2002 12:24 PMThis one is my favourite of George, lately. What's wrong with this picture?
Nothing, as long as you can drink out them.
Posted by: Thomcatspike on November 22, 2002 12:39 PMTwo days later, the blisters broke and the wounds became infected and then crusted but after about a week the unidentified scientist was "healing quite rapidly."
I ask you, did we really need this paragraph, cnn?
ow ow ow ow.
Posted by: fishfucker on November 22, 2002 02:01 PMJust for the sake of silliness.
Hu's on First, by James Sherman:
George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George: Great. Lay it on me.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That's what I want to know.
Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes.
George: I mean the fellow's name.
Condi: Hu.
George: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The Chinaman!
Condi: Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya' asking me for?
Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That's the man's name.
George: That's who's name?
Condi: Yes.
George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of
China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the
Middle
East.
Condi: That's correct.
George: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of
China. Get
me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?
George: No.
Condi: You don't want Kofi.
George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk.
And
then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi?
George: Milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi: And call who?
George: Who is the guy at the U.N?
Condi: No, Hu is the guy in China.
George: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the
U.N.
Condi: Kofi.
George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.
(Condi
picks up the phone.)
Condi: Rice, here.
George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we
should
send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese
food
in the Middle East?
Yes, hu will di(e) for liver, but will he deliver?
Posted by: Thomcatspike on November 22, 2002 03:02 PMMr. Cardoso, we'd like a word with you.
I can see miguel checking his tail pipe each time he wants to go for a drive
Posted by: clavdivs on November 22, 2002 04:26 PMLuckily, no one drives in Portugal. They saunter down to the nearest bar and drink brandy and smoke cigars.
Posted by: witchstone on November 22, 2002 04:29 PMMoseying is definitely not European. I think it's Montanan or Coloradian
Posted by: witchstone on November 22, 2002 04:47 PMLuckily, no one drives in Portugal
ok, i can envision miguel checking his cigar for 'loads' everytime he wants to lite up
Posted by: clavdivs on November 22, 2002 04:47 PMI'm fairly sure Miguel is an undercover agent for some anachronistic and fictional nation-state (Sylvania?). Beneath that bonhomie, he's a master of intrigue and the many uses of umbrellas. Stay away from his cigar-cutter.
Posted by: liam on November 22, 2002 05:06 PMMiguel is actually a 63 year old woman living on the Isle of Wight.
Posted by: witchstone on November 22, 2002 05:15 PMI thought Miguel was a homeschooled 10-year-old in Utah...
Posted by: not oissubke on November 22, 2002 07:25 PMMiguel is a Giant Panda, sillies.
Posted by: kafka-over-a-bed-of-leafy-greens on November 22, 2002 07:51 PMIn my heart of hearts, I know that Miguel is really Eddie Izzard, having a spot of fun with us.
Hey, Ed speaks French, is Portugeeze such a stretch?
Posted by: ColdChef on November 22, 2002 08:37 PM"...his manhood stir..."
Has Miguel been reading romance novels?
Are you Montanan or Coloradan? 'Cause witchy seems to think only Westerners can mosey. I'm covered: I'm from Colorado. I think I'll be moseying through the house today. Maybe even to the grocery store--but I'll be strolling home.
Posted by: readymade on November 23, 2002 03:19 PMI'm a Connetci--, a Conn--,...what the hell do you call someone from Connecticut, anyway? I'm really a New Yorker at heart.
Most of the time, stuble and bump into things.
Connecticaticus? Connecticans? Canoodlers? Connecticallidees? Connectors?
Funny, when Chef says "sashay" I get a mental image of Lady Chablis from "Midnight In The Garden Of Good And Evil"
Posted by: kafkariptaylor on November 23, 2002 09:23 PMMost of the time, stuble and bump into things.
What does lack of shaving have to do with it?
Posted by: pardon me on November 24, 2002 11:52 AMA note about posting images:
We encourage users to post images, especially those hilarous pics of monkeys
wearing dresses or programming for Linux. But posting images that reside on someone
else's server is considered by many to be bandwidth theft. Our thoughts
on the matter, along with some solutions to the problem, can be found
here. Thanks.
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