Coool. No caption, that's just so coooool.
Although a caption might go something like, "I learned everything I need to know from 'Conquest of the Planet of the Apes.'"
Posted by: shane on November 24, 2002 09:49 PM"Right; that's it. Sing Needles and Pins once more and you're bush meat."
It was a long and perilous hunt, but Bubbles had finally tracked down and captured the plastic surgeon responsible for little Mikey Jackson.
Posted by: dejah420 on November 25, 2002 12:12 AM"Well doctor, the good news is your months of incredibly painful cognitive enhancement shots seem to have paid off... the bad news? I'm still not what you'd call a strong reader, so my poor little simian brain can't quite tell if these say 'soldering iron' or 'anal probe'. My advice? Grip the bars."
Posted by: dong_resin on November 25, 2002 01:36 AMMonkey: You ask me what I want...I too want to stand in front of the emperor, as you did.
Researcher: Then listen to me, learn from me. I wasn't the best because I killed quickly, I was the best because the crowd loved me. Win the crowd, and you will win your freedom.
Monkey: I will win the crowd. I will give them something they have never seen before.
Miguel settles the score with his former employer.
Posted by: b****fire on November 25, 2002 11:20 AM"Battle pleases you lord Crom, so I ask you to grant me one request, grant me REVENGE! And if you do not listen, then the hell with you!"
Not at good as Dong's, but I tried...
Posted by: Aw on November 25, 2002 01:33 PM"Doctor goes into the cage. Cage goes into the lab... monkey's in the lab... our monkey......
....farewell and adieu to you fair spanish ladies...."
Posted by: dong_resin on November 25, 2002 01:53 PM"The balance of power finally shifts from B.J. to the Bear..."
Posted by: Cyrano on November 25, 2002 02:16 PMDear Monkeys,
Since there is no thread devoted to you guys invading my dreams, I state this here. Stop invading my dreams! It's bad enough that I spend too much time here getting a good laugh, wasting precious time that I could be feeding myself and bathing...but apparently that was not enough.
This fine morning I had a dream that I came home from an all-night party (clue number one it was a dream) to the house I grew up in, and there was Miguel, in my bathtub fully clothed with a cup of coffee. He was embarrassed but very charming, and said that he had decided to travel across the US to visit all the simians. Sorry he didn't call first. So, we had a nice breakfast in downtown Boulder, and then he asked directions to dong_resin's house.
As far as I know, I pointed him in the right direction. Dong, he should be showing up there sometime this evening.
Anyway, it is with the utmost sincerity that I request the immediate cessation of simian-dream-cameos. I love you guys, but that's "me" time, a little time for the readymade. Thank you for your cooperation.
Yours, ready-for-warm-milk
Posted by: readymade on November 25, 2002 02:48 PMThanks for the warning.
**runs to market for Beer Nuts**
Posted by: jonmc on November 25, 2002 03:00 PMMiguel is a Portuguese zombie who haunts the bathtubs of the innocent, forcing them to buy him breakfast.
Posted by: kafkaluxinterior on November 25, 2002 03:02 PMyou realize of course, that had it been anyone else, we could have complied. put with Miguel and dong_resin well..
it's just two great tastes that taste great together I guess.
Posted by: tj on November 25, 2002 03:03 PMThe secret identity of Miguel revealed:
He's Mr. Bubble!
Posted by: tizzie on November 25, 2002 03:12 PMand there was Miguel, in my bathtub fully clothed with a cup of coffee
Verrry interesting. But you omitted one crucial detail: was there any water in the tub?
Posted by: sigmund freud on November 25, 2002 03:15 PMHe was only half wet, as though he had started to fill the tub, but drained it again. Ha! The image of Miguel in my tub cracks me up every time I think about it.
Posted by: readymade on November 25, 2002 03:17 PM...plus 'fully clothed' in what exactly?
A tuxedo? garters and heels? a Superman costume?
Wow, I'm totally bummed, Miguel hasn't shown up in my bathtub...and I even have jacuzzi jets.
*sniff* Nobody loves the fat girl. *sniff*
;)
Posted by: dejah420 on November 25, 2002 05:14 PMWell, that's my dream sorted out for tonight. Thanks, readymade! I hope you'll allow for some minor adjustments. :)
Posted by: Miguel on November 25, 2002 05:57 PMDejah: I've replied by e-mail, usual address, the strongest encryption, password: "first editions". :)
Posted by: Miguel on November 25, 2002 06:01 PMI think I may have dreamed about jonmc once. I vaguely remember a snatch of flannel, some flying snack cakes of some sort. I don't know, it's hazy. I think it best that way.
Posted by: brittney on November 25, 2002 06:02 PMA tuxedo? garters and heels? a Superman costume?
jonmc: you're thinking of Evan again, aren't you, you naughty boy? ;)
Yeah, no ear-to-ear smilies for you!
Posted by: Miguel on November 25, 2002 06:03 PMMiguel--Thank you for showing up in my bathtub. It was funny, odd and altogether charming. I've been laughing about it all day. I mean, why the bathtub? Couldn't you have just taken a seat on the couch or something? And that you were drinking coffee as casually as if it were completely normal....what a howl!
I've reconsidered, and decided that you can all invade my dreams, as long as you are situated in some unlikely locale. Like under my desk playing with matchsticks. Or in the lockers I have by my front door. Or singing from the rooftop.
Posted by: readymade on November 25, 2002 06:16 PMI am going to unnerve you by sitting in the corner of your ceiling and eating tunafish. Also, I will have more ears than I really should.
Posted by: kafkaluxinterior on November 25, 2002 06:20 PMAh, but there's a reason for the bathtub, readymade... Oops, my wife just dropped in and tells me to say it's something to do with illicit gin. Mother's ruin and all that. (But it's not.)
Posted by: Miguel on November 25, 2002 06:22 PMOr that Beatles song:
She told me she worked in the morning and started to laugh,
I told her I didn't and crawled off to sleep in the bath. :)
Miguel represents the dirty ring around the pristine tub that is your subconscious.
Posted by: kafkaluxinterior on November 25, 2002 06:24 PMLast night, I dreamed that I shot witchstone in my pajamas. What she was doing in my pajamas, I'll never know.
If it were MY dream Miguel would have been tooling around in a motorized bathtub, complete with smoking jacket and cigar. No brandy; he'd need that hand to steer.
Posted by: b****fire on November 25, 2002 09:41 PMApropos of nothing:
Candy Hamburgers!!!. It's hamburgers made out of chocolate and cookies.
**weeps**
Posted by: jonmc on November 25, 2002 10:32 PMCandy Hamburgers!!!
I haven't been here in months... the first thing I see is this... this... abomination?!
*rips out hair*
Posted by: D on November 25, 2002 11:08 PMI like it that they're called "Everyburger." As if they were an Everyman, a Joe Friday, a stand-up burger that pulls one for the team. It's reassuring, somehow.
Posted by: readymade on November 26, 2002 01:25 AMMmmm...Candy Abomination....
*drools*
Posted by: stavrosthewonderchicken on November 26, 2002 02:24 AMSee, that's the good thing about Homer Simpson jokes. They never get old!
Posted by: stavrosthewonderchicken on November 26, 2002 07:00 AMCandy Hamburgers!!!. It's hamburgers made out of chocolate and cookies.
A week ago this would have made my (vegetarian) day. Then someone told me most sugar contains, or is filtered through, cattle bone char. Take away my caffeine now and I'll jump off a cliff.
Posted by: shane on November 26, 2002 09:01 AMLast night, I dreamed that I shot witchstone in my pajamas.
Is that a Groucho Marx line? And was I seriously wounded? Did the paramedics see me in your pajamas?
Posted by: witchstone on November 26, 2002 09:21 AMYeah, I stole it from Groucho. And you looked better in those pajamas than I ever did.
Posted by: tizzie on November 26, 2002 09:24 AMI've had that song in my head since I wrote that comment.
Posted by: witchstone on November 26, 2002 10:46 AMI dreamed that I shot witchstone...
Dood, don't shoot witchstone, there's some bad shit going around. Stick to shooting up spank.
Posted by: shane on November 26, 2002 11:07 AMA note about posting images:
We encourage users to post images, especially those hilarous pics of monkeys
wearing dresses or programming for Linux. But posting images that reside on someone
else's server is considered by many to be bandwidth theft. Our thoughts
on the matter, along with some solutions to the problem, can be found
here. Thanks.
In an effort to help eliminate spam (and to preserve the sanity of the 9622 Volunteer Simian Spam-Cop Brigade) all threads older than 30 days will now be closed to comments.

