9622.net

Thundersluts is still cornered, with #1, #2 and #4, with a lamentable parvenu at #3.

9622 is *smack*

And I always thought it was a stimulant!

*rubs hands together*

World domination is nigh. Whatever that means.

World domination is nigh.

What are you going to do with your world domination?? First thing: all the governors come off all the go-karts.

Second thing: all foodstuffs are now to be deep-fried in crispy batter.

yes, that includes soup.

I'd like peace on earth.

Wait, make that "a piece of pie."

Eeksy-peeksy, our special correspondent in Poland, is busy not writing about pr0n. I hope he comes back here soon!

Huh? Damn. I have to go catch a bus.

I had a friend who worked as a valet at a local country club. They used to tweak the governors on Golf Carts and we used to race around the hills outside the course. Those things are heavy when they tip and launch you face first into gravel.

Good Times.

World domination means one thing to me: no more musical theater.

Happy Krampus Fest everyone! Today in much of Northern and Eastern Europe is the day to celebrate Santa's demonic enforcer - aka Black Peter, Knecht Ruprecht, and Schmutzli - the guy who punishes the bad kids. Traditionally, this involves lots of drinking, should anyone be looking for a reason.

Maybe then they'd do actual plays on Broadway. And maybe then I could get a job.

Krampus fest? Haven't they been celebrating that on cruise ships lately?

You can take dinner theater with you when you leave, musical theater. I want to eat, drink and talk to the woman next to me, not try to figure out who 'killed' that guy.

*sings*

Thanks for no-thing, you ingrates!

Kevin Kline in Soapdish: Best. Dinner Theatre. Scene. Ever.

I had a krampus earlier, but I took some Midol and now it's a little better.

I am the very model of
A modern major gener--

BLAM!

*thud*

*applause*

Dude. Krampus totally rocked! One of them died in a tragic Aqua-Net inferno in 1983 though.

Wasn't Luxus Interiori the singer?

Seriously, dude, their bass player kicked ass. I think he's got his own band going now.

Not to de-rail the interesting places this thread is headed for, but I must make an announcement:

I am seeing (what's left of) Guns N' Roses tonight! So, I'll be able to tell you how bad Axl sucks now. All your burning questions will be answered.

Yeah, he does, but he can't seem get out of the revolving door rehab scene.

Unfortunately, Krampus' lead singer is now in the touring production of "Remington Steele, the musical".

Tell me how Tommy Stinson is doing too. I may never forgive Axl for preventing a Replacements semi-reunion.

Well, how do you think he got the band together in the first place. Two words: Rehab.

Let's not even talk about Krampus' drummer. Phil Collins covers in the Holiday Inn on Route 9.

Axl?

I once worked extremely briefly for a guy who ran a dinner theater operation. He really did produce shows but a large part of his business just raised money for all the toys (several houses, an airplane, cars) that the "business" owned. Our job was to call people and ask for money in funny voices. Eventually, debts caught up with him, though, and he left the dinner theater business for a second life as a county school superintendent.

a large part of his business just raised money for all the toys (several houses, an airplane, cars) that the "business" owned.
As far as I've been able to determine, that's what capitalism is all about.

And funny voices. Don't forget the funny voices.

"Not having much luck with Clouseau! How's the Paul Lynde coming?"

"Shitty. I'm gonna try Charles Nelson Reilly next."

"Word."

"Julia Child. That gets 'em every time!"

"Vincent Price. Folks always cough up for ol' Vinny."

Peter Lorre isn't doing so hot. they keep calling the cops.

I think the rhythm section from Krampus did some studio work for GWAR's second album. But they didn't get the gig for the third album, because they kept pronouncing it "GEE-war."

And when it comes to soliciting money for my toys? voice="Bobcat Goldthwait" Try it, you'll be amazed. Seriously.

I would give Bobcat money not to talk to me. Good thinking, Fes.

As far as I've been able to determine, that's what capitalism is all about.

Kentucky Proto-Commies 1, Capitalist Toy-Accumulators 0

My office is closing at 3 pm because of the SNOW THREAT!!!

This will give me plenty of time to make myself Axl Worthy.

Please, Witchy. You're already well beyond Axl-worthy.

In otherwords, gain a lot of weight and botox my forehead and cheeks.

Wait, kafka. We can't get rid of all muscial theater. Rent is marginally entertaining and a step in the right direction. And Hedwig and the Angry Inch is the GREATEST MUSICAL PLAY EVER.

Hear hear! What would we do if we couldn't take our wigs down off the shelf?

Is it not better that some be sacrificed for the good of the nation?

I think Mr. Spock said that once. Or I read it on the instructions to Chinese meditation balls.

Fortune cookies were invented in New Jersey.

Isn't Rocky Horror a musical?

Kentucky Proto-Commies 1, Capitalist Toy-Accumulators 0
I wondered where the hell you were! *wink*

We can keep the film versions of Rocky Horror and Hedwig, can't we?

If it means putting Andrew Lloyed Webber out on the cold streets of London, that's a small price to pay.

The final sacrilege? Porn as musical theater.

You mean it's an affront to good porn?

[party pooper mode]

Stop it at once! Without musical theatre we wouldn't have 90% of the songs of Cole Porter, Harold Arlen, George Gershwin, Irving Berlin, Stephen Sondheim, Richard Rodgers, Cy Coleman, Vincent Youmans, Kurt Weill, Harry Warren, Frederick Loewe, Jerome Kern, Frank Loesser, arguably Leonard Bernstein, Marvin Hamlisch, John Kander... in fact, most of the standards of American popular music.

It was only in the Sixties that it all went terribly, terribly wrong.

Aw, dad, why'd you have to go and talk about Rogers & Hammerstein again?

Someone get his pills.

One word for you, man: Godspell.

*shiver*

Uh oh, Dad's back.

*hurriedly stubs out doobie*

Not that I'm saying Godspell is Rogers & Hammerstein. But maybe I am! Maybe I despise musicals so much I might just make that sort of grievous error and not give a good god damn!

Hoo!

It matter not if it's Rodgers and Hammerstein. Godspell is horrid; Rodgers and Hammerstein make horrid musicals; therefore Godspell must be by Rodgers and Hammerstein. Ergo cogito sum (or, you know, whatever latin phrase is appropriate).

Dig it! I can't even spell Rodgers right!

Yeah, fuck your musicals ten ways til Tuesday, daddyo!

In a related issue, I actually interviewed Marvin Hamlisch once. What an arrogant prick, no kidding.

*pictures Miguel gearing up to ask all sorts of qestions about Marvin Hamlisch's personal life*

My office is closing at 3 pm because of the SNOW THREAT!!!

Ah-ha! Yesterday we closed at 1 pm and this morning we opened 2 hours late because of FREEZING RAIN!!!! So there.

Because none of know how to drive in it. Hell, we ain't safe in good weather.

Dad, save your questions. Hamlisch's personal life is basically what you'd imagine, as I recall: the occasional party, the occasional boyfriend, a goodly amount of ego self-stroking ("I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, I'm a famous music theater prick, and gosh darn it, people like me!") and a lot of time in front of a piano devising new tortures for people who were born later than 1940.

"ONE..."

I agree with Miguel and eyeballkid.

*ducks*

Cole Porter, Harold Arlen, George Gershwin, Irving Berlin, wrote some brilliant music. Sondheim, yuck.

But it's not like they come over to your house and sing the score to "Oklahoma!" for gawd's sake. If ya don't like it, then just change the channel.

Cole Porter, Harold Arlen, George Gershwin, Irving Berlin, wrote some brilliant music.

Maybe. But what have they done for us lately? Nothing, that's what. I'm with Kaf - expunge 'em!

That extra channel could be used for an all VH1 Storytellers channel, you know.

*starts worshipping Unclefes*
*notices he equates Rodgers and Hammerstein with Godsmell*
*takes to him with the cane*
*whups Kaf on the swingshot*

six inches forward
five inches back

But it's not like they come over to your house and sing the score to "Oklahoma!"

It is. It's exactly like that. You try cleaning up after forty-five amateur actors once they hit the cooking sherry! It ain't pretty.

(Maybe my intense dislike for musicals is that we forced to appear in them in grammar school. I myself was Jud in Onlahoma! one year. Oh the ignominy!)

Oklahoma, not Onlahoma, which is a musical performed by Ookla the Mok and his pals.

post?

Some nights I drag out the fishnets, sit on the curb in front of the trailer and sing softly to myself:

I put on some make-up
and turn up the tape deck
and pull the wig down on my head
suddenly I'm Miss Midwest
Midnight Checkout Queen
until I head home
and put myself to bed

hey what about Pippen? ; >

rivers belong where they can ramble....

I myself was Jud in Onlahoma!
I'm Miss Midwest Midnight Checkout Queen

*stifles a vurp*

EBK, the next time that happens, could ya tape it for us?

You mean it's an affront to good porn?

Yeah, Lupo, that's exactly what i meant. Turning the Bible into dross is one thing, but porn should not be fucked with.

And forget about Granpa Mig. Wait till La Romakimmy gets a wind of all this showtune negativity...

My hope is that in the new version of Doom to be released next year, the secret severed-head on a stick is reproduced at the end of your hard slog through Hell, but rather than John Romero, it's Axl Rose, looking dyspeptic and endlessly repeating "motherFUCKER motherFUCKER..!" in his sqeaky insect voice.

Non sequitur. Sue me. Hhe.

Yeah, Lupo, that's ........the Bible into dross ...

dross???

Worthless, commonplace, or trivial matter: “He was wide-awake and his mind worked clearly, purged of all dross” (Vladimir Nabokov).

Thanks for expanding my mind dross, liam;)

Walker's Smoky Bacon Flavor Crisps are one of the great acheivements of modern man. They taste so much like bacon that it's postitvely eerie.

The Worcester Sauce Crisps ain't bad either.

I've got a three-day weekend, I'm stuck here in a motherfucker of a snowstorm and my better half has to do a term paper.

You betcha I'm stocked up. I've got japanese snacks, british snacks, and some frozen mexican food. It's tricultural smorgasbord nite, dude.

Tell us more of these "snack foods", stranger.

Heh.

Actually noe that I've polished off the crisps. I'm just having a late supper of chicken burritos washed down with Irn Bru.

Mexican-Scottish fusion cuisine is the next big thing, dude. Look out for the Deep-Fried Haggis & Mars Bar Grilled Stuft Burrito.

I myself was Jud in O[n]lahoma! one year. Oh the ignominy!

[jerk voice]
Sir - you are talking to an Oklahoman!
[/jerk voice]

Everyone from Oklahoma has to know the entire musical - we may not all like it, but we have to know it. We spend a lot of our time saying to people, "yeah, everything's up to date in Kansas City, they've gone about as fer as they can go. Now shutthefuckupaboutit."

When I married the Connecticut girl, my in-laws thought they could really rattle the Okie rube by suddenly announcing a special presentation to their new in-law, dragging us up to the front, donning dinky cowboy hats and singing "Ok-lahoma!". Unfortunately, they needed crib sheets to know the dang words! I'll spare you all the pictures of me grabbing the mike from my sister-in-law and taking over the lead, but suffice to say I took the intended jab in stride.

Oh, and one year I myself sang the John the Baptist/Judas character in Godspell. A.K.A. the one who gets to sing the only good songs and betrays the dweeb in the rainbow shirt at the end. Nyaah.

It's hard catching up on four days' of shit on 9622 at one go, you know.

So, how'm I doin'?

So, did dejah have that baby yet or what?

Once years ago I was dating two guys at the same time. One took me to a local production of Pippin.(at that time i lived in Raleigh.) About a week or so later the other one told me "dress respectable, I'm taking you out" but didn't tell me where we were going. We wound up at ECU in Greenville where he took me to... a production of Pippin.

The "baby" is getting his drivers license next week. Get with it commish!

I've got a three-day weekend, I'm stuck here in a motherfucker of a snowstorm ..........paper.

Our office in Fredricksburg went home early yesterday. I just heard not sure exact location that some folks may not have power untill Sunday.
What the f do you do w/o power, huddle around a fireplace for days....watch flames dance and pretend it's tv or with these folks you end up with a baby boom....

Once years ago I was dating two guys at the same time

wow, b****fire was once a thunderslut! w00t!

And commish, as a native Okie myself, I've got to confess that I've never seen the musical, nor do I even know all of the words to the theme song.
*blushes, sort of*

But I do have a friend from Egypt that lived in Oklahoma for a few years. The first time he returned home, all of his friends met him at the airport singing "I'm proud to be an Okie from Muskogee". He never really knew why, considering he lived in Tulsa and hadn't been to Muskogee, but the mental picture that I have of a group of Egyptians singing a Merle Haggard song is priceless.

And commish, as a native Okie myself

So tell us ufez, do they smoke marijuana in Muskogee?

He's proud to chew on pokey in Muskogee...

Chew on Pokey???!!

That's just sick, man...

I can't say for sure, mr. mc, but I did know quite a few people in Pryor that liked the crank. I don't really talk to them much anymore.

There is a band called "Cross-Canadian Ragweed" who I think are from Texas that have a song that goes like this:

Well them boys from Oklahoma roll their joints all wrong/
They're too damn skinny, and too damn long

I don't know the rest. I've only heard it once. But I know some folks that would like to contend that sentiment, jah, man. Feeling irie.

How the hell did we end up to two, count 'em, TWO Oklahomans, anyway? I didn't realize they had the Innernet way out there.

It's hard catching up on four days' of shit on 9622 at one go, you know.

Yeah, tell me about it ... or on second thoughts, don't: it would just be more catching up to do ...

9622.net: That's just sick, man

dear gawd, I am in a time warp here. It feels like I have been at work for 13 hours so far today, and it is only quarter after two.

Someone please hope me.

dear gawd, I am in a time warp here...........and it is only quarter after two.
I'll trade watches, as it's 1:39pm. for me. Then you would be warped by time.

No.

Let's do the time warp again!

It's just a jump to the left-
and then a step to the right...
Place your hands on your hips-
And bring your knees in tight.
But it's the pelvic thrust
That really drives you insane!

*commits seppuku with letter opener*

Who's gonna help little Billy?

(hmm it's not as amusing without the funny voice)

I didn't realize they had the Innernet way out there. [in Oklahoma]

As far as I know, they don't. I'm a Masshole now, remember?

I didn't realize they had the Innernet way out there. [in Oklahoma]

As far as I know, they don't. I'm a Masshole now, remember?

A double-posting one, at that. Worst kind.

yeah, and I'm in texass, which probably shouldn't have the innernet either.

must avoid double post else to ruin the rep of okrahoma.

You know what I love?

Big, shitty musicals.

My Fair Lady? My favorite movie.

The Sound of Music? Love, love, love it.

South Pacific? I like the first half.

The Wizard of Oz, Oklahoma, The Music Man, Hedwig, Newsies, Moulin Rouge, Rent? My heart swells.

Please don't judge me too harshly. I was raised wrong.

Not "Godspell" though.

I'm not an animal.

That "75% gay" (or thereabouts) you got awhile back is starting to make more sense, CC.

You left out "Gypsy".

Stephen Sondheim's "Into the Woods" is my favoritest musical, and not at all your typical fare. This adult reworking of classic fairy tales is dark. Super dark. Then it gets a bit darker.

I think there was a revival not long ago, I think--I've only ever seen a taped production, besides the one I was in (Little Red Riding Hood).

Hey There Little Red Riding Hood
I Don't Little Big Girls Should
Be Walking Through these Big Bad Woods All Alone
Hey There Little Red Riding Hood
You're Everything A BigBad Wolf Could Want

Good lord people, some self-involved chino-wearing ratass sings something frutiy in 3/4 time and fakes a smile on a cheap stage and you people swoon like the effing Gautama Buddha stopped by to make you a grilled cheese on the way to the Ganges. Get hold of yourselves!

Something dark and sinister must have happened backstage to a young Unclefes, while his Uncle Wilmot was "interviewing" the leading lady in her dressing room.

I'm guessing butt pricked by an open "Proud to be Gay" pin, left by a cast member, or infant genitals fondled in the dark by an aging Eartha Kitt, fumbling about for the keys to the medicine cabinet.

Something dark and sinister must have happened backstage to a young Unclefes, while his Uncle Wilmot was "interviewing" the leading lady in her dressing room.

I'm guessing butt pricked by an open "Proud to be Gay" pin, left by a cast member, or infant genitals fondled in the dark by an aging Eartha Kitt, fumbling about for the keys to the medicine cabinet.

whoa! I think once was enough for that

I, also, "am guessing butt pricked".

fes, honey, was that you that day? : > *purrrrrrr*

Quit takin' my name in vain.

My shrinky-dink says I don't have to talk to you people about any of this.

Hey, Eartha, how you doin'...?

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