9622.net

I'm in, as I've been formulating mixes and notes in my head for a while now, but I lake the organizational skills to put the endeavor together. But I suppose it's up to rest of the pack...

I'll have to bow out of this round. I've overextended myself with my annual (okay, this is only the second time) Christmas mix cd.

I'm sending out fifty copies.

Shoot me now.

Bang.

I'll have to excuse myself as well; there's just too much year-end stuff (at work as well as home) that takes up all my time right now.

Sorry Migs; maybe after the new year or in the depths of winter?

Out. I have vowed to never again participate.

I'm having a grumpy bastard day. Ask again later.

Tough crowd today. I guess I'm in as long as I have plenty of time to get them out and everyone agrees to go out and buy every last record that they get turned on to via my mix. @-)

What about the Summer of 2004 then? Or never? Is never good for you?

*skulks and sulks away*

Not to derail or anything...but why, oh why is that woman giving that dog a mud bath? I mean, my dog manages to do it all on her own...I suppose I should be grateful?

To jump off the tracks altogether....Miguel please tell me you were only joking and didn't really go out and buy another PeeCee because you thought your new Mac wasn't able to connect to the #mefi IRC channel.

We had to get a new computer and are stuck with a free internet service for a little while.

The bunster will be back eventually.

No, anathema! I just had the PC refurbished (new processor, new hard disk) to do PC things. I hate it more now, of course.

I'll swap with you, Miguel. Ditto for vous, Anathema. You like good music.

However, I'm leaving tomorrow for a few weeks of family-time, and would not be able to get a mix out till Jan 10 or so...

(If bridgie and tj are there, your mixes are en route, yes?)

mine went out yesterday

mine will go out this week no exceptions, no excuses. my boyfriend is stuck 70 miles away with a flat tire, which cuts into my "doing it on my day off" idea. my discs are all burned, the cases are all ready, i'm just waiting on getting the fucking cover art to print correctly. fucking photoshop.

anyway. yes. i am a crumb bum.

i might be up for some swappety swap swapping. in fact... why... the song "mr. miguel" was included in my last SUPREMEELYYY AWESOMICAL CD MIX which you missed for some reason, but i grant you it's well-loved.

My sympathy mix for oct.suprise and an extra for liam will be going out within a week.

I'm with Eyeball. Very disappointing.

Just goes to show. Do not trust me to organize anything more complicated than a trip to the bar.

EBK and kafkaburger just had a sub-optimal group last time; there were no complaints from our group, tj.

Also, thomcatspike - did you get the sympathy cd I sent you? It went to your P.O. box, so I don't know if the lack of response is due to it not getting there, it getting there and getting swiped, or just it getting there and, well, you know.

I sent one to goneill and it got returned to me because I forgot to put a zip code on it.

You could literally taste the irony.

Oh, and just for your amusement and mockery purposes, the track listing for my Christmas CD this year.

1 Louisiana Christmas Day - Aaron Neville 03:40
2 God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen - Barenaked Ladies 03:30
3 All I Want For Christmas is You - Foghat 04:11
4 Christmas Is the Time to Say I Love You - Billy Squier 02:54
5 You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch - Boris Karloff 02:55
6 'Zat You Santa Claus? - Louis Armstrong 02:48
7 Christmas on Bourbon Street - Frankie Ford 03:18
8 It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year - Johnny Mathis 02:24
9 Gaudete (Rejoice) - Mediæval Babes 02:17
10 Silent Night - Stevie Nicks 04:37
11 The First Noel - Emmylou Harris 02:38
12 I Believe in Father Christmas - Greg Lake 03:28
13 Mele Kalikimaka - Jimmy Buffett 02:58
14 Cyndi Lauper and Frank Sinatra - Santa Claus is Coming to Town 02:35
15 Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas - James Taylor 03:50
16 The Christmas Song - Hootie and the Blowfish 03:14
17 Pretty Paper - Willie Nelson 02:20
18 The Cat Carol - Meryn Cadell 04:27
19 Merry Christmas from the Family - Robert Earl Keen 03:55
20 Cajun Night Before Christmas - Tee Jules 04:17

Hey, seriously. What's up with the muddog?

The Commish is right tj. The emails were all sent and received correctly. You did what you needed to.

I have to opt out due to my wad-blowing on the last one (I seriously question if I could come up with another good one), but I would be more than happy to send it out to people who were not on my last swap-list, since I have more lovely labels and liner notes left over.

(They're full color! They're thematic! There's two of them! Get 'em while they're hot!)

Post, beyaaaatch.

It sounds like a few ruined it for everyone else. That's a shame.

I can't play either. Way too busy.

For those who are interested in the "try before you buy" motif, here are links to the liner notes of my last one. Really. If I don't use up the labels I made, they're just going to sit on my shelf, moldering. I'm lookin' at you, ebk and kafkannibal. Let me send you stuff. I like sending stuff.

And just for the hell of it, here's my tracklist for the Christmas CD I made last year. I had hoped to make some copies to give to y'all this year, but my schedule didn't allow it. Hey, it's the thought that counts, right?

DISC ONE
--------
* Jingle Bells (Greetings From Esquivel) - Esquivel
* What Christmas Means To Me - Stevie Wonder
* Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) - U2
* Platinum Bells - Destiny’s Child
* Fairytale of New York - The Pogues (w. Kirsty MacColl)
* Santa’s Beard - They Might Be Giants
* Mambo Santa Mambo - The Enchanters
* Suzy Snowflake - Soul Coughing
* 2000 Miles - The Pretenders
* Santa Baby - Rev Run & Christmas All Stars
* Christmas Is the Time to Say I Love You - Billy Squier
* Soulful Christmas - James Brown
* Mele Kalikimaka - Reel Big Fish
* The Little Drummer Boy/Peace On Earth - David Bowie/Bing Crosby
* Santa Claus Is Back In Town - Elvis Presley
* Blue Xmas - Miles Davis
* Merry Christmas (I Don't Want to Fight) - The Ramones
* Let It Snow - Luscious Jackson

DISC TWO
--------
* Three Ships - Jon Anderson
* Santa Baby - Eartha Kitt
* Happy Xmas - John Lennon
* The Christmas Song - The Drifters
* Father Christmas - Kinks
* Christmas in Hollis - Run DMC
* Oi to the World - No Doubt
* Christmas Wrapping - The Waitresses
* I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus - Jackson 5
* Silent Night - Al Green
* All Alone at Christmas - Darlene Love
* Rudolph the Red nose Reindeer - Everclear
* Wonderful Christmastime - Wings
* Christmastime - Smashing Pumpkins
* The Christmas Song - Weezer
* Do They Know It's Christmas? - Band-Aid

Don't ask me how Destiny's Child got on there. I probably would have left it off if I made more copies.

PS - Chef, your mix looks so cool. I'm gonna Kazaa a few of those tracks tonight. Especially the one with the "æ" in it.

Coldchef: just a little secret, the Grinch song is by the voice of "Tony the Tiger" of "They're Greeeeeaaat!" fame. Whatever his name is. How do I know this? Because I own the DVD. Do I have kids? No.

All credibility as a responsible adult nullified in one fell swoop.

I mean my credibility is nullified, in case that wasn't clear. If I sound superior or bitchy or nananana in any way, it's because I'm a dope and have had two beers and no dinner. All disparaging remarks were to point directly back at myself.

I really need to eat dinner.

Commish raises a handy point above...
Y'know, I can understand that it may not be in your powers to actually review a disc someone sent you (you're chronic masterbator, you have hooks for hands, your secretly only listen to Toto, what have you), but merely briefly noting that you received something you were sent rather than, say, that jackoff who played Bonner on "Growing Pains", might be kind of nice.
There are a good 3 or 4 discs I sent out that I have no idea what happened to, and it's kind of a drag.
Telling me my taste in music sucks would be amusing, ignoring me puts you on my Fuck You list.

Know who else is on my Fuck You list? Chris Tucker. You don't need to be neighbors with Chris Tucker, you don't want that dropping by unannounced for dinner.
Stay off my Fuck You list.

dem some damn sour grapes ebk and kaf. Guess my TWO discs didn't go over to well, eh kaf? I aim to please so I can send a new one if you want. ebk send me your address and you'll get a sympathy disc.
Two more finals for me and then a nice three week break.

No, your CDs were certainly well received, Anathema. Sorry to seem a bit tetchy there. I thought I had reviewed them a bit at least.

Honestly, everything I have got has been great. Even if I don't care for all the music...well, that's really the point: to get some different stuff and see what you think about it. I got a disc from Fes full of stuff I would never buy, but you know what? It's great, because I get a view of my buddy Fes, and what he listens to.

Your point is well taken, that I was a bit dismissive above. My apologies.

To be perfectly clear: I've been a bit of a sourpuss lately. Not a very natural way for me to be, and I'm not proud of it.

You're all welcome to beat me with whatever you want, as long as it's not sharp or pointy.

I received your disk, dong_resin. I liked it too. I thought I wrote as much somewhere, long long ago, but I might not have. I also received disks from amberglow, crash_davis, and fishfucker. All are completely different, all are really cool. I can't remember what's on whose, but it may be time to review them again. I could make some pathetic excuse as to why I didn't review them, but I won't. Suffice it to say that this thread really makes me feel really bad, and I don't know if I did something wrong.

This sucks.

*beats kaf because he said I could*

You certainly did review mine, readymade, but reviewed or not, at the very least you let me know it arrived. That's all I'm asking for, here, people. "Hey, it didn't sail off into the aether."
That, and for any offspring of Ben Aflek &J.Lo's to get sold into the Thai sex trade.
Can't we, as a sensible collective of individuals, do that? I know where to covert baht into local currency if that's your problem.

I certainly didn't mean to exacerbate the bad vibes, I feel really good about the past swap.

Well except, again, for Walrus. You'll get yours in hell, ya limey.

Having said all that, I won't be swapping in this one either, Miguel, because I'm frankly out of both discs and money at the moment.

Good lord, Readmade went and kindly reviewed muh disc yet again as I was writing this. Very gratifying.

I sure wish people would send me their credit card numbers. I don't think that's too much to ask, everyone's major credit card numbers in my e-mail by, say, 5 pm est today.

There really should be some form here on 9622, rather than the usual threads, which would keep track of CDs expedited and received.

The "received" should have a review slot, which could be edited later, so that we could tell the sender we'd got the package, which is the more worrisome.

Anyway, let's wait for a better moment, I agree. Perhaps, in the meantime, we could try to work out a bright, revolutionary way to solve all the problems.

It would be really cool to have a sub-page with all the playlists, reviews and stuff.

I don't like how I'm the one who gets the sharp sticks. People are freakin crabbola around here, you're all going to make me go over to the Blue.

I just got yer disk and pop rocks, too..DR. Haven't had a free moment between household chores blogging and pre-transit strike calisthenics to listen yet, but the last one kicked ass, so I have faith.

Wow, I'm glad I went to a really wild party on Saturday nite and slept all day yesterday so that I missed the crabby vibe.

I listened to dong_resin's cd while I was getting ready for work this morning, and there was some song on there that made me wanna take my clothes back off and do the wild thang. Sorry if that was too much info. and no, I don't remember the name of the song, but I'll look it up tonite, so to speak.

And Mr. jpoulos, if you ever did make any more of those xmas cds mentioned above, I hope you'd slip one in my stocking.

As for swappy goodness, anyone else who wants a copy of mine from last time, I'll be happy to send it, even to Portugal! No problem!

I'm think I'm no longer young enough to do the "wild thang." I just occasionally do the "vaguely unruly thang."

See! It always comes back to Tone Loc.

Couldn't hope for a better review than that, tizzie.

Wonder how many Tone Locs could dance on the head of a pin.

Prb'ly depends on the tune.

I hope you'd slip one in my stocking.

*must not make crude joke*
*must not make crude joke*

I hope you'd slip one in my stocking.

*must not make crude joke*
*must not make crude joke*

*post, dammit*
*post, dammit*

I think the dog made everyone crabby. Can I also just add that our group (tizzie, yhbc, walrus, rakdaddy, and krimur) had all of our discs exchanged on time (more or less)? I say that not to pat ourselves on the back, but just to show that there's no need to assume that a 9622 swap can't work.

That said, there's no friggin way I'm participating in another one so soon.

irony tastes salty. 10003.

I think we have some sort of 9622 seasonal affectation disorder.

I'm not being crabby, just pragmatic. Yes, it is the forcing of my own musical tastes upon others that I enjoy, but, as k also mentioned, I like to hear what others are listening to to get a better picture of them. Out of the cds I sent out (those to my group and the extra one I sent to Brittney) I received one (not counting B, that was meant to be one way) cd in return and only two thank you's (one of those from B). It's not that it's a hassle, I enjoy doing it. It's that no one seems to give much of a crap about the cd that I spent hours in Acid and Nero and slaved over a hot burner to create that could have been spent playing NeverWinter Nights. So why bother?

**picturing EBK dressed like Alice from the Brady Bunch**

Actually, irony tastes like non-dairy creamer, sincerity tastes like peppermint tea, and absurdity tastes like fried mozzarella.

kaf, ebk, just in the spirit of something, if you can wait until the beginning of Jan, I'll mail you each a copy of my swap, if you want. Just e-mail me something.

There's little worse than disgruntled monkeys.

Actually, irony tastes like non-dairy creamer, sincerity tastes like peppermint tea, and absurdity tastes like fried mozzarella.

mmmmmmm ... absurdity

Also, I think that everybody that has failed to send out something should have their names made public. For purposes of the flogging and the mocking and humiliation and whatnot.

busted! I suck!

I damn thee to hell!

um, ok. see ya soon!

~wink~

i'm in. what's a CD?

If I were to participate again I would only do so under the following rule: If you don't send it out by the deadline, don't bother sending it.

I'll be perfectly honest. I love when the discs start coming in, and I'm like a little kid opening them and getting all excited. I play them all day at work. (Having said that, I may have been lax in thanking people in the past. If I have, I do apologize.) But discs that come very late generally don't even make it to the CD player. Quickly thumbing through my collection I see three discs from 9622ers or Mefites that arrived very (a month or more) late and I know I've never played them. Not once.

We're all busy. We've all got excuses. We all feel the urge to procrastinate. But if you're so busy or such a procrastinator that you're not going to fulfill your end of the bargain, you should be responsible enough to stay out of the swap to begin with.

That's just one (very small and insignificant) man's opinion. Take it with a grain of salt.

heh. That should have been "one man's (very small and insignificant) opinion", but I like it the first way better.

OK, enough bad vibes. Look at this monkey:

Isn't he cute and funny?

that's one small and insignificant opinion for jpoulos, and one giant logical leap for monkeykind.

And let's take this opportunity to wish a happy holiday season to Patty Griffin.

She looks scrawny. We oughta send her a pie.

She also looks 12. Is she in a different space-time continuum?

That's Julianne Moore as Patty in the new Fox biopic.

I thought the camera was supposed to add ten pounds.

Julianne has boobs, but poor little Patty has none. Even twelve year olds have those!

Isn't that Allen Iverson?

Bang,
yhbc, I was just getting a chance to respond to you. Great Cd I even played it this weekend at a friend's Christamas party. Expect a package delivered by airborne in the next week. Again the CD was sweet.

No, Allen Iverson has a mustache.

For purposes of the flogging and the mocking and humiliation and whatnot.

Totally off-topic of aforementioned mocking, flogging, &c, I received this in my e-mail today:

Beware! I got this today and the warning is genuine!

Yesterday, a friend was travelling on a Paris to London flight. A man of
Arabic appearance got off the plane and my friend noticed that he had left
his bag behind. She grabbed the bag and ran after him, caught up with him in
the terminal and handed him back his bag.

He was extremely grateful and reached into his bag which appeared to contain
large bundles of money. He looked around to make sure nobody was looking and
whispered:

"I can never repay your kindness, but I will try to... with a word of advice
for you, "Stay away from Liverpool".

My friend was genuinely terrified.

"Is there going to be an attack?" she asked him.

"No", he whispered back, "it's a shithole."

Wilt Chamberlain?

"No", he whispered back, "it's a shithole."

Heh.

*Changes "Liverpool" to "Houston, TX" and sends it to his email list*

"I just got yer disk and pop rocks, too..DR."

My kids ate the Pop Rocks.

This disturbs me, and I'll tell you why:

When they ask me "Daddy, where did those Pop Rocks come from?" I either have to lie to my children, which I don't like to do, or I have to say "Kids, those Pop Rocks came from Dong Resin."

That's just wrong.

Come for the monkeys, stay for the crabs.

Well, which one is steamed?

Wow. I managed to post in the entirely wrong thread.

Sorry for the confusion. I'll just caress my wildebeast and tunnel out through the macaroni and cheese.

... finally, I know what I'm getting you all for christmas/hannukkah/kwanzaa/solstice!

Crash made me snort-laugh hot coffee through all muh facial plumbing.

So, there's that to be carefully considered.

whenever i got a swap cd in the mail, my wife would ask, "Is that from Dong?" and then giggle. i feel sorry for jonmc who had to have them passed on by his fellow gateway employees.

I will be delighted to draw you or your loved one with Stevie or with any other celebrity. I will also be pleased to depict other subjects such as relatives or pets (living or deceased), historical, spiritual or fantasy subjects.

I would like Stevie and Jesus riding a Unicorn in Gettysburg over the body of my dead hamster, Gary.

oh coldchef, you're the poet in my heart.

And I'd like a tatoo of my mother and Stevie fighting a dragon.

And I'd like a tattoo of my mother and Stevie fighting a dragon.

And I'd also like a tatoo and a tattoo of tATu.

Dancing with Stevie on Tatooine?

"Kids, those Pop Rocks came from Dong Resin."
That makes me cry.

a tattoo of tatu, he says?

Whatnot, that "Stevie" post belongs on the big blue. It's a thing of unrivaled beauty, right up there with the "Jesus is with you" thread.

I'm just sayin'.

pop rocks, you say?

i miss the dong_resin who used to be my secret online lover.

Whatnot, that "Stevie" post belongs on the big blue. It's a thing of unrivaled beauty, right up there with the "Jesus is with you" thread.

I'm just sayin'.

I'm saying it twice, too.

*lights bic, waves it around until thmub begins smoking*

You don't even want to know what a thmub is.

secret she says?

My tell all book Passion in The Cult Threads should be out in February...

as well as my autobiography: Me and my pet hamper.

sticky smelly hamper

coldchef, it is done. If Dave comes after me, I'm going to stare at my toes and mumble something about being goaded into it.

Carry on, TJ, I wouldn't want to hamper your relationship with your hamper.

Please hamper, don't hurt 'em!

Chef: I looked at all 600 honeymoon photos.

Now gimme a cookie.

Goneill, I sent you both CD and pop rocks, or, I sent them to the return address of the cd you sent me. I'm guessing that you never got `em, but I never got `em returned to sender.

Is everyone feeling a little perkier this morning? No pee in the cornflakes?

Because if everyone is still cranky, I'm turning right around and going over to...well, I don't know where I'll go, but it will be somewhere.

ever feed pop rocks to a dog?

Ever feed alka-seltzer to a pigeon?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
poof

it's much more fun to feed it to seagulls, thos suckers are big!

I just realized how sick the whole hamper thing seems if you haven't read the motherthread.

I had no idea about the alka seltzer thing.

Anyone see 24 Hour Party People where the guys from the Happy Mondays feed poison to hundreds of pigeons and then shoo them off into the air?

That was cool.

I have a story about Alka Setzer!

I'm visiting one of my best friends in San Francisco when I'm about 20 with another friend. I've never been there, and the friend I went with comes down with the flu. My SF friend is staying in this flea-bag residential hotel, full of hookers and section 8, which is superbly interesting in my book, and there are three beds in there: one bunk and a twin. My sick friend is sleeping in one after we get back from a night of unrivaled sloppy drunkeness, but we're thoughtful people even when I we're drunk, so we bought him Alka Setzer Cold Medicine to help him out. He gratefully takes the Alka Setzer and drinks it, but my other friend, now laying on the top bunk of one bed, is like, "No no no! It's faster if you do it this way," as he rips open the package. "Stop!" we scream. "Don't worry," he says, "I do this all the time!" He pops them in his mouth, takes a huge swig of beer, and I have never seen better fireworks on the Fourth, I tell you. We were laughing for years about that.

Always question people when they say "Don't worry, I do this all the time." There may not be one seed of truth to it.

Did ya ever get a ferret messed up on Mad Dog and bong hits?? That's cool

Maybe that was just me....

Chef: I looked at all 600 honeymoon photos.
Now gimme a cookie.

Good Lord, woman! You DO deserve some chocklity baked treats. You made it further than my grandmother, even.

I'll betcha Grandma was able to find a job after college, too.

I just made customer#90622(we don't have a current client with #9622) prep why I'm busy......

no. dong_resin, no. that can't be.

where are they? who has my pop rocks? i'm looking at you jonmc, you and that guy from see hear...

that simply cannot be. i cannot have not gotten a cd/pop rocks from you. i refuse to believe the world could be so cruel.

goneill, when I send out my christmas cds, I'll make another attempt to send you the cd I sent before. It's no "pop rocks", but it's full of warm buttery love.

9622: full of warm buttery love*

*except for swap threads, then we're all broken glass and barbed wire

it's only made of concrete and barbed wire.
concrete and barbed wire...

Colors?

C
O
L
O
R
S!

Oh, happy day!

Colors, colors

I am a nightmare walking,
psychopath talkin'
King of my jungle
I am a ganster stalking
Livin' life like a firecracker quick is my fuse
Vendettas the debt of the colors I choose
Red or blue, 'cuz or blood,
it just don't matter
Sucka run for your life
when my shotgun scatters.

Colors

(I will note for you here that I wrote this from memory, not a web lyrics search

Huh huh huh!)

Um. Christmasy.

Colors.

Poo-flinging monkeys are all well and good, but...

What is wrong with the kids today, huh?

Stupid movie, fun songs. With such classics as "Raw" by Big Daddy Kane, "Paid in Full" by Eric B and Rakim and introducing Salt n Peppa. Sigh. I drank a lot of cheap beer to that soundtrack.

Sigh. I drank a lot of cheap beer to that soundtrack.

So was I trying to do so during the movie, yet the previous night they had a shooting at the theatre I was at. So we had to drop our beers as we had 10 cops un-expectedly sit in with us, when the lights dimmed. Whoops and open beer rolling down under the seats is not only loud but smelly.

What is wrong with the kids today, huh?

Absolutely nothing, I'd say. (Or should that be "say it again"?)

Heh. Chef added a comment to whatnot's MeFi post very similar to one he posted in this thread. Only over there he changed the name of his hamster from "Gary" to "Boba Fett" (in tribute, I believe, to Dong's apparent obsession du jour). You just have to love the layers of in-references we're able to generate over here on a daily basis.

Who wants to buy my old iMac? The local reseller is screwing me over. I would like nothing better than to be able to tell him to gently fuck the fuck off. heh.

oh, and boba fett is a much cooler name for a hamster. Gary is for pet snails.

pet snails that meow.

The color is beginning to really hurt my head. I'm morphing into a chimera of TCS and quonsar.

*meow*

brought to you by: Kirk Franklin's More Crayons.

uh oh

While idly googling for Christmas gift ideas, I punched in "monkey presents" and this page came up as the number one result. I've learned two things from this experience:

1. Clearly that thing is not a monkey. It's a sheep or a dog, or something else that's decidedly unmonkeylike.

2. I should have googled "monkey gifts" because the number one result for that is this page which is more along the lines of what I wanted.

*squeak*

DaBrazza's monkey "Dada" aka quonsar.

Indigenous to Zurich?

Christ, it feels like I have Vick's Vap-O-Rub on my eyes.

Dada server. Where Dada monkeys come from.

Speaking of DaDa, here are my namesakes.

My first tattoo was of pictured "assisted readymade."

Mark your calendars:
INTERNATIONAL DATEBOOK
Oaxaca
DEC. 23 — Night of the Radishes. Enormous radishes are turned into sculptures, including complete Nativity scenes, and put on display in the z.ocalo, or town square.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

A link for a most excellent celebration.

Three days before the festival, artists begin carving, carefully spraying their creations now and then with water to maintain freshness. On the big day, activities get under way with a children’s workshop, where youngsters aged 7 to 12 take knife to radish with painstaking seriousness.

Forget little round American radishes. The ideal medium for artistic expression is a long, thick-skinned variety that can grow up to 20 inches in length
Suddenly, radishes sound much sexier.

Fairly accurate description, except for the "thick skinned" part.

I'm sure that long radish carving is something Lorena Bobbit could really get into.

Art with food is always a little mystifying to me. Spam carving, ice carving, radish carving, it's all so, I dunno, silly.

But I really think that at the first Monkey meet, we should have a monkey chow art contest: it will be like making macaroni art, but with primate kibble instead.

"ZuPreem Marmoset Canned"
Marmosets everywhere are worried.

I read a badly written restaurant review last week where the reviewer was upset over having eaten duck sauce at a Chinese restaurant, because she is a vegetarian. Amazing.

Putting in the Google search "purina monkey chow" I came up with this. Coincidence? I don't think so.

Wait a minute -
we can do colors!?!

How come no one told me about this before!?!

Never mind - I think I just realized why.

how about this? no? this? or this?

yuewfyg

heh. white even.

Dammit, how many closing font tags do I have to put in?

Eight, it would seem.

yuewfyg?

What is yuewfyg?

Don't you have an estate to plan or something? @-)

___
_/`.-'`.
_ _/` . _.'
..:::::.(_) /` _.'_./
.oooooooooo o/.-'__.'o.
.ooooooooo`.__|_.'`oooooob.
.ooooooooooooooooooooo&&oooooob.
.oooooooooooooooooooo&@@@@@@oooob.
.ooooooooooooooooooooooo&&@@@@@ooob.
doooooooooooooooooooooooooo&@@@@ooob
doooooooooooooooooooooooooo&@@@oooob
dooooooooooooooooooooooooo&@@@ooooob
dooooooooooooooooooooooooo&@@oooooob
`dooooooooooooooooooooooooo&@ooooob'
`doooooooooooooooooooooooooooooob'
`doooooooooooooooooooooooooooob'
`doooooooooooooooooooooooooob'
`doooooooooooooooooooooooob'
`doooooooooooooooooooooob'
`dooooooooobodoooooooob'
`doooooooob dooooooob'
`"""""""' `""""""'

Hmm. That's one long apple. It didn't look that long in Notepad. Maybe it's one of those radishes we were talking about. Oh, well. Off to bed.

Oh no. Too many lawyers in one thread. Pretty soon we'll all start talking about Mrs. Pfalzgraf and that damn scale, and you know where that will lead -

Yep, right to the fertile octogenarian and the precocious toddler, and whether all the "lives in being" can dance on the head of a pin in twenty-one years. And there, madness lies, friends. I'll go watch some more football, just to let some non-law comments filter in.

Because, you know, property is really just a bundle of rights.

"Santa Claus Go Straight to the Ghetto" by James Brown.

Best Christmas song ever.

EVER!

My memory is very short, I forgot pardon was a lawyer. Even during the sperm jokes. duh. I just need to get through negotiable instrument on Thursday and then I'll be all better....promise.

I forgot pardon was a lawyer. Even during the sperm jokes.

I guess that explains why you missed the irony (which was, after all, the whole point ;)). I was wondering about your reaction.

Btw, the only thing you need to remember about negotiable instruments is that "endorse" is actually spelled "indorse."

I just made customer#90622(we don't have a current client with #9622) prep why I'm busy......

Hey, bro'! I just created vendor #5000032! and attached to LIEF vendor 2000089! What fun. Don't tell me you work on SAP, too?

Vibrashane?

I dunno. I keep hearing sung in a Wayne Newton voice:

"Vibrashane, Darlin' Vibrashane...."

cold chef - i'm sure the buttery love will more than make up for the pop rocks. perhpas they are still somewhere in the mail? i lost my mailbox key last week. when i find it maybe dong will be in there.

when i find it maybe dong will be in there.

One can only hope.

when i find it maybe dong will be in there.

You want fries with that?

Space Monkey Mafia

when i find it maybe dong will be in there.

Resin sold separately.

The jokes that sprout with the revelation that you don't know for certain if you have a dong in your box are many, goneill, but I think I'll go with "maybe you should try doing Kegels".

Anyone else picturing goneill standing by her mailbox in Snow White costume singing: Someday my dong will come...?

"maybe you should try doing Kegels".

Anyone else picturing goneill standing by her mailbox in Snow White costume singing: Someday my dong will come...?

Great. Now I'm picturing Snow White doing kegels.

"maybe you should try doing Kegels".

Anyone else picturing goneill standing by her mailbox in Snow White costume singing: Someday my dong will come...?

Great. Now I'm picturing Snow White doing kegels.

"Do your part to prevent fallout: kegels!"

I just pictured leslie nielsen removing an egg, cracking it and a bird flying out and then off like he did in airplane, but that's as far as I'm describing it here.

Son, have you ever seen a grown man naked?

sorry for dropping that and running.

apparently lots of people are picturing me these days. i've had about 6 million hits since lizs wrote 'pictures of hereitype naked'.

People dig nude typing, I guess.

Now that we've brought Snow White into the picture, any chance of some hot dwarf orgy action?

look. i'm not a dwarf. 5' 0" is 3 whole inches away from the cutoff for 'little people of america'. OK.

look. i'm not a dwarf. 5' 0" is 3 whole inches away from the cutoff for 'little people of america'. OK.

it's very important that i make myself clear.

"i've had about 6 million hits since lizs wrote 'pictures of hereitype naked'.

Sorry about that.

you were gonna be Snow White...

6,000,001

6,000,002

Post.

I still can't find the nekkid ones.

People dig nude typing, I guess.

*attempts to erase images of quonsar from memory*

I still can't find the nekkid ones.

Call me crazy, but I'm starting to get the sneaking suspicion that this was all some sort of elaborate ruse. In response to said ruse, I'd be tempted to do some illicit photoshopping, but since goneill's a self-described "famous anti-porn activist" I wouldn't want her going all Catherine MacKinnon on my ass.

what's wrong with porn?

I think they're secretly imbedded in the code, like Al Qaeda instructions. I'm gonna keep looking.

Who is Naked Monkey?

metaflowers? huh?

Don't worry, pardon me, I've met goneill, she's a classy dame.

Oh, I don't doubt it. And she's an entertaining personality, to boot. I'm just trying to give her a hard time. (heh. I said "hard"). Who knows -- maybe she'll convince me to become an anti-porn activist, too.

Sorry, I can't keep a straight face with that last sentence.

classy as fuck.

"Fuck" as a noun.

shimminey!

"Fuck" as a noun.

See this is us meeting. For some inexplicable reason she seems thrilled to meet us.

Hey! I type naked, and I'm 5 foot ought. Me and goneill, we sound like the same person! What are the odds of that? Except I type naked in porn. It's very boring porn, but porn none the less. Just me and my Smith-Corona, having a good ol' type. Time. Whatever.

jonmc we met long before that. have you forgotten?

No, but we don't have pictures of that, cause none of us numbskulls brought a camera, at least at the first meet, and that's the only pic both you and me(and pips) are in...

hmmm. Jon, that picture's kind of blurry. I recall seeing a better one on adam's page. goneill looks cheery for an anarchist. But it's not exactly your best side, jon (if it wasn't for the flannel I wouldn't even know you were there).

In this one goneill looks cheerfully demonic, and I've got a monkey on my shoulder, so it wins on overall points.

You're right -- that is the best one (though aw might disagree). I particularly like the reclining lass in the back. She looks comfortable.

oh, and I'd be remiss if I didn't make note of the witchstone cleavage. rrowwrr.

AW and Witchstone make such a cute couple.

Readymade, do you type porn naked, or do you type naked porn? Or both? Do you get paid? A lot?

Goneill, what's up with this anti porn thingie?

Plus, it's got a little witchstone cleavage. And that's always good.

great minds...

No, no porn really. I just had to make it seem like goneill and I weren't the same person. Which, to the best of my knowledge we're not. Unless she's my alter ego, or my special secret split personality who "lives in NY" and "has met Jonmc" and "has a boyfriend from Kentucky." But, as this personality has remained separated from me, I maintain that it is not mine at all.

This is a real head scratcher.

As for porn, well, I don't own a Smith-Corona either. Lies. Lies!

great minds...

great, sick. your choice.

here's a little back story.

nothing prevents a famous anti-porn activist from writing naked porn every once in a while.

Ok, so if someone does a guys/gals/monkeys of 9622 calendar, you wont pick up a placard?

Whew. I'm so glad you're THAT kind of famous anti-porn activist and not THIS.

So when do we start shooting? (the calendar. I'm a famous anti-gun activist.)

y'all feel better now? I"m currently listening to the 'happy' launch station. i think i might need lithium -
tizzie, are you FAMOUS? - i mean, the level of fame that might prompt danny bonnaduce's staff to call you? i was once on a nationally broadcast radio dial in talk show. yeah. i rule.

yeah. The "Thundersluts Climbing Ivy" issue.

Ha, if you guys can see cleavage in any of those pictures, you've got far more imagination that I've given you credit for.

I think this is the part where I whip off my mask and you discover that I'm actually the male amusement park owner.

and witchy would've gotten away with it too...

A man can dream, can't he? Hey, I'm married now. IMAGINARY CLEAVAGE IS ALL I HAVE TO KEEP ME STABLE!

That and the old standby battleax of a wife.

Why is it alway with these folks,

Phil Burress says he saved himself from pornography. Now, he and the increasingly influential group he leads want to save you, too.

It's like the guys you see hiding behind a bush wearing a jacket looking down w/ binoculars on the nudist at a beach, but the nudist don't mind, the cold weather....

Ps, I just did 96922 prep disk.

"9622: Imaginary Cleavage keeps us stable"

I like it.

No, no, I'm not an anti-porn activist. I like a little porn now and then. I actually think it's less exploitive than shopping.

That and the old standby battleax of a wife.

what about shopping for porn?

time warp.

I know, Thomcatspike! Doesn't that just make you mad enough to spit? Grrrrr.

"keep you stable," Chef?

When, exactly, did you stabilize in the first place?

Is the big blue blog down for everyone or is Matt just mad at me?

"keep" you stable, CC??

When exactly did you stabilize in the first place, man?

"or merely mad at me" would have been more alliterative.

oh, fiddlesticks...

no need to fret, jonmc. Adding ", man" clearly improved the comment.

Pardon the interruption, but Happy Holidays Monkey Bunch!



(Further captioning encouraged)

"It says 'Don't open until Christmas', but don't let that stop you."

When the monkey calendar comes out, I think this is pretty representative of me. Look at that expression! And the drink! The nice clothes aren't indicative of me at all, but it was at a wedding. Which might explain the expression.

"Jesus, if I could just find something to attach this to, everything would be fine."

"I can't get this damn thing untied! Is it cutting off the circulation yet?"

readymade you are more beautiful than I could have imagined.

"These damn 'no-touch' condoms.. Grrr. How about if I just use my teeth?"

No shit, readymade. You gots it goin on.

Chef -- Methinks matt's merely mad at you. My meander merited much metafilter moralizing.

"Can you find my g-spot now, Larry? Can you find it now? I marked it for you, you fucking loser. Can you find it now?"

yeh. hubbahubba..

readymade! Jeez oh pete, these thundersluts just keep getting more gorgeous!

Shut up, Bob. We agreed we'd do this origami class together. You never support me!

as for the monkey pic--

"I hope you saved the reciept for this.."

It's because you're all wearing beer goggles all the time. Just like me!

I just thought of something, if the 9622 women are Thundersluts, does that make us menfolk Thunderstuds?

Or a we just a bunch of crap flinging chimps?

I just thought of something, if the 9622 women are Thundersluts, does that make us menfolk Thunderstuds?

Or a we just a bunch of crap flinging chimps?

Well?

Beebo, ever the gadabout, cultivated his androgyny in part due to his overly-clever and overly-crafted answer to the inevitable question: "Beebo, are you a Man or a Woman?". Beebo would quiver with glee when question arose, immediately disrobing (regardless of the environs) and thrusting his prized genitalia forward, swaddled in a fanciful silk ribbon he always wore - "Why not find out for yourself, kind Sir?"

it's the second one. but we're each wearing a Fez

"Victoria's Secret were determined that Peta would not demonstrate against the models during their Seasonal Underwear show."

Can I have a Purple one please? I'm sick of this threadbare wine-red faux-fuzz excuse for a fez. I've been wearing it for years, and I'm beginnning to feel like a fool. ('Beginning' I say)

Fess, Faux-Fuzz-Fez, Fes!

Now, why are Thundersluts only female? I think we should be forward-thinking about this: Thundersluts as an all-encompassing catch-all for those of the monkeys who feel the moniker applies to them.

That, or all you gents are Thunderrakes (or studs, a la Jonmc). I also think, having looked up the synonyms for slut, think that we could also be Thunderstrumpets. Or Thunderhussy's.

thunderstrumpet. now that has a ring to it.

I could totally go for being a Thunderstrumpet. Makes a girl feel real special, that.

Or say it with a vaguely Germanic tone - Donnerschtrumpet (goes with the vaguely Germanic holiday theme as well).

caption: "Stop laughing! Didn't you say the best things come in small packages?"

I like thunderstrumpets.

I too, think that the men of 9622 are thundesluts. During the incession of the term, when brittney said, 'thundersluts around' (which was hilarious), I think it was gender neutral. How could dong_resin not be a thunderslut?

Or fishfucker. I mean, really.

Thünderslüt is nice too, in a heavy metal way.

Sturm und drang-sluts.

Donner-und-blitzen-vixens

Hey, liam, believe it or not, there's apparently a big controversy about whether it's "Donner" or "Donder." According to a Washington Post article a few years back, the person who "invented" the concept of Santa's reindeer called one of them "Donder." Gene Autry allegedly goofed when he referred to "Donner" in "Rudolph."

And, coincidentally enough, both words actually mean "Thunder" -- "Donder" in Dutch and "Donner" in German. Thus getting us right back to "Thundersluts." So maybe "Donnerschlampen" would be the proper German. My head hurts.

"My name is Lupo and I'm a thunderslut."

*everyone chimes in: "Hi Lupo!"*

a big controversy about whether it's "Donner" or "Donder."

wait no more...According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and
female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop
their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December.

Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the
spring. Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa's
reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a
girl. We should've known. ONLY women would be able to drag a fat-ass man in a red
velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost. sent to me by a podbuddy

Actually, for me "donner und blitzen" doesn't conjur up reindeer but the WWII comic books I read as a kid. The German soldiers ("Fritz") would always yell the phrase as the brave Brits ("Tommy") blasted them all to hell ack-ack-ack-ack-ack!!!!! Good to learn about the song, though.

It's strange that we called those tales of war derring-do "comics".

As far as I'm concerned, it's Donder. Hasn't it always been Donder?

Of course, I'm a thundering dunderhead, so what do I know?

Hi, I'm, ........... thunderslut, sounds like were at a meeting confessing some god awful sin.
Wait if you believe in God=creation, well slut away.....and Thomcat thunderslut does have a sly catch to it or like Kaf says,