9622.net

Funny list, witchy.

I was shopping for shoes yesterday and was suddenly surrounded by cute, geek boys of all shapes and sizes and I thought maybe they were all their for me and my totally fab new shoes, then realized the theatre was right beside the shop.

I have been overheard saying the Lord of the Rings movies are overrated, but it brings out the nerd mens in droves, so it gets a thumb up from me.

I saw The Two Towers last night. One thing occurred to me. And I say this in the most heterosexual way possible: I'd do Legolas.

Having just watched The Prophecy about a week ago. I just keep thinking about Viggo's character (Lucifer) and the little speech he gives to Tom:

Every night, when you finished saying your prayers,
how you were afraid that I was hiding under the bed...

and I WAS!

I love that.

Psst, witchy.

I don't watch movies.

The thing about Rocky...I heard somewhere (possibly on a radio station) that they were considering a new Rocky movie where Mr. Balboa is running a boxing school for kids and is convinced to get in the ring one (last, last, last, last,) time for charity or something.

The baby jesus may commence the crying now.

I pity da baby fool

I pity da baby fool

Lupo, honey, that heterosexual thing was totally convincing.

Wait a minute, this lang guy clubs babies?

That's just sick. You've injured my sensitive soul.

I mean, I'd do Cate Blanchette or Liv Tyler first, but he's probably on the list somewhere. That's all I mean.

The concept of the violent dwarf was based on Al Pacino.

HA! (but Joe Pesci would've been funnier)

I have done extensive polling, and who do you think is the number one guy that straight men would sleep with if they "had to"?

...

...

...

Hint: I had to change the poll question to: If you had to sleep with a famous guy (not Brad Pitt) who would it be?

the suspense is killing me

ernest borgnine?

It's Boy George. There, you made me tell.

Bea Arthur?

Brad Pitt? That's lame.

If I like absolutely gun-to-my-head had to do a guy...

John Corbett.

I wouldn't sleep with brad pitt.

who was that guy who played jim ignatowski on Taxi?

him.

Fine, then move over and let me at him.

Really, jpoulos?

Okey-Doke...

Christopher Lloyd??? Christopher Lloyd???

Who's next, Crispin Glover?

... my cat can eat a whole watermelon

I'd probably say David Bowie. Or Jude Law. But ColdChef already has him.

I change my mind. I pick ColdChef.

You bitch.

Apparently a lot of straight men would volunteer to sleep with Brad Pitt before I would.

Not to change the subject or anything, but you'll be shocked to learn that my Togo's sammich was thoroughly manhandled by the hamfisted samichmeister, and as a result looks like it's been kept balled up in someone's pocket for a week.

Don't. fuck. with my lunch.

Can I pick Kottke? But only if he brings the monkey.

The last three times I went to Togo's, the whole restaurant was filled with smoke. Not cigarette smoke, like, grease-fire smoke. Don't ask me why I keep going back.

Just now, in the shower, I had to think really, really hard about whether or not I had already shampooed my hair. How does one forget that they just washed their hair?

That pot delivery service, on second thought, may be a bad idea.

9622.net: Don't ask me why I keep going back

I've removed myself from tagline eligibility, but please tell me someone's going to add:

9622.net: Because Christmas is about more than masturbation

Do we have to enter taglines manually, or is there a bot that grabs them?

Oh, and if I had to "do" a man, I guess I'd go with James King. He's actually pretty hot.

I just added it

So we do have to do it ourselves?

brittney you have such a wonderful sense of humor. they make you wait at least 8 minutes.

So that's who the shampoo instructions are for. I always wondered.

I also forget if I have shampooed.

I recommend a strict adherence to order. Shampoo and then soap, to keep things alphabetical.

Don't even get me started on the loofah and the ducks.

I believe so, yes

And if you think about it, maybe the "repeat" step is there for forgetful folks, letting them off the hook.

What is this "shampoo" and "soap" you people speak of?

Is this the part where we all "suddenly" discover that jonmc is French?

I have gone all the way upstairs, started to get dressed, and realized that I never rinsed the shampoo out of my hair. I'm not making that up, unfortunately.

Pertaining to the thread, I've sent to the corner asked Elijiah to play in the corner of my store.

I finally saw the first LoTR movie on cable a few days ago. (I despise theatres...all those people, with their germs, breathing near me...bleh! Ok, so I'm a tiny bit agoraphobic.) Tom rented it on DVD when it first came out, but I was off doing something else.

Anyway, finally saw the movie, and whereas Legolas does nothing for me, Aragorn is a hottie. But then, I've always liked the dark, long-haired scruffy types. (Which explains why I dated musicians and artists for all those years...)

I am really looking forward to seeing the second movie, which surprises me, as I've never been much of a Tolkien fan. (I know, it's heresy to admit, but there it is.) But the first movie was just brilliant, so I hold high hopes for the subsequent ones.

Now, what I really need is an ancient stone tower, and my own personal Balrock.

Is this the part where we "suddenly" discover that jonmc is quonsar?

Who and/or what is James King?

I've always liked the dark, long-haired scruffy types. (Which explains why I dated musicians and artists for all those years...)

I could have written this sentence myself. Except I do insist on daily showers.

James King is a supermodel/actress (aren't they all?) I was just playing off her masculine name.

rarely does a term make me shudder more than "model/actress."

Just stick bartender/ before it and it becomes somewhat more palatable.

Not on topic, of course, but I thought you monkeys ought to know that if I purchased the winning ticket for the $215 million powerball drawing at the gas station just now, we are so having the best freakin' party ever. Promise.

From the list of 50 reasons; human member of their party is played by two different actors (it takes a sharp eye to notice, but one of them has red hair, one black).

A sharp eye, As a semi red-head, strawberry blond, I take offense, black does not come close to red unless wet...

PS, tizzie is my new Lotto-Overlord, win baby win....

What is this "playin off of?"

Funny. I never considered "James" a masculine name.

dejah -- you'll love the second film. It's chock full of Viggo Mortensen-ny goodness.

It's chock full of Viggo Mortensen-ny goodness.

A little pencillin will clear that right up.

*rimshot*

I've always liked the dark, long-haired scruffy types. (Which explains why I dated musicians and artists for all those years...)

I think you have to be either conventionally handsome, brilliant or rich to be considered "scruffy." Back in my hairier days, I was merely a slob.

I interrupt this thread to tell anyone interested that there is a new Nick Cave song at http://www.nickcaveandthebadseeds.com/ available for your listening pleasure.

Just click the "Bring It On" link down by the image of the new album "Nocturama".

wow. way to shut down the thread, mr., how you say, kafkaesque.

I submit to the court that it was in truth Mr McNally's gratuitous photo-linkage that really wounded this thread.

By the time I came in for the coup de grace, it was really a mercy killing.

Well, shit, I'm sorry....

shit, I'm sorry....

Mr. McNally! Watch your language or I will hold you in contempt.

Mr. Kafkaesque, you may approach the bench with your evidence.

It's sad when you realize your entire knowledge of the judicial system comes from TV shows.

**blames entire incident on dysfunctional childhood where he was beaten with a polaroid**

**writes best selling book from prison**

This perpetrator said he was gonna replace my waterbed. He can't just dance on my waterbed in stiletto heels, and spray peppermint soda on my marmosets and think he can just run off to Prince Edward Island like nothin' happened.

No, I don't have any receipts.

Well, your the one who decided to make Margaritas and put Charo's Greatest Hits on the turntable! "Live a little," he said. How's a man supposed to resist.

Besides, he fills his waterbed with Mountain Dew. The fizz makes him feel Sassy.

Don't you start in on my Charo albums!

I only played the Charo 'cause he said he liked it when ehe was renovating the rec room, which I might add he didn't complete. Where am I supposed to have my Masonic meetings, what with the snow blowing in on the bumper pool table?

Well, Mr. Fussypants, you could've used the rumpus room(which is across the hall from the rec room). I don't rumpus as much as I used to, quite frankly. All I asked is that you give me a couple days to clean up the honey mustard and find the midgets a new home.

Them midgets is my family!

Your honor, I'm not wearing any pants

Yes, your honor, this pantsless guy is my witness.

Well, that's the last time I indulge tj's voyeurism.

Well, goddamn it. That Nick Cave song is only available to Windows users? I clicked and clicked to no avail. I am terribly distraught.

But how cool is a Nick Cave show in Iceland in December? My 15-y-o self would have spontaneously orgasmed at the thought.

*glares from the Bailiff's Post with best Joe Friday glower*

Cowboy Sally! Yay!

I saw the whole thing! Well, maybe not the whole thing... I was distracted by something shiny.

Hiya kids, hiya hiya.[/froggy]

Hi Hi Hi Hi [/De Wayne from What's Happening]

. Whoops gotta close tags.

who you callin' scruffy lookin'?!

Hey hey hey

Hey hey hey

Hay is for horses, mr. albert

dububle pobost, mabn.

dububle pobost, mabn.

Oh, the ibrony...

*ponders whether the thread was better off dead*

You rang?

Better off dead?

"I WANT MY TWO DOLLARS!"

I was appalled last year when Legolas never got to sing "Spirit of Radio." Someone, please tell me he gets his chance in this movie.

Not to de-rail -- or possible re-rail? -- but TTT was really damn good.

It's sad when you realize your entire knowledge of the judicial system comes from TV shows.

Would you rather it came from multiple felonies?

Trouble is, a cleaned-up Viggo Mortenson isn't *nearly* as cute as ScruffyViggo. Compare and contrast!

What the hell kind of a name is "Viggo" for a human being anyway?

Sounds like a cleanser: "Have a filthy toilet? Try new Viggo!"

This from a man who polished off the last of his Pocky.

re: Viggo. He was married to Exene Cervenka. That makes him a hotty.

Actually, the pocky kept breaking off in the frosting, and I'm all outta Irn Bru and it's 3 in the afternoon and I'm still unshowered, unshaven and in my unwashed bathrobe.

Let's hear it for squalor.

Go, squalor! (I'm with you, brother: I'm wearing the pajamas all day today. I'm telling myself that it's because I have a cold, but it's quite probable that if I felt well, the slop-a-thon would continue anyway).

I just woke up from a nap. Ah, bliss.

I think the "Actor, poet and artist" designation leaves our Viggo with very few additional career choices at this point. Unless he wants to add "Transmission specialist."

I think the "Actor, poet and artist" designation leaves our Viggo with very few additional career choices at this point.

Which he needs, in case that whole rightful king of Gondor thing doesn't work out.

Vig was married to Exene? How cool is that? Does that make X the royal band of Middle-Earth?

A note about posting images:

We encourage users to post images, especially those hilarous pics of monkeys wearing dresses or programming for Linux. But posting images that reside on someone else's server is considered by many to be bandwidth theft. Our thoughts on the matter, along with some solutions to the problem, can be found here. Thanks.

In an effort to help eliminate spam (and to preserve the sanity of the 9622 Volunteer Simian Spam-Cop Brigade) all threads older than 30 days will now be closed to comments.

Name:


Email Address:


URL:


Comments:

Remember me?