9622.net

What, no soltice? Merry Generic Seasonal greetings to all.

Dejah's right. You all are the best thing a monkey lover could ask for. All that and a bag of chips (or Pocky for jonmc).

(On a side note: is anyone else relieved that it's almost over?)

"(On a side note: is anyone else relieved that it's almost over?)"

Ask me later tonight. This evening, the Davis household is hosting the First Annual All Grandparents Come to Our House for Turkey, Ham, and Present-Opening Gala Spectacular.

Ostensibly, this is to save us the hassle of driving all over creation tomorrow morning so that the kids can spend two minutes opening gifts before we have to load up in the minivan and hustle off to the next stop. In reality, I think it's my wife's plan to try and make people sing Christmas carols or something equally sinister.

**peeks in from snow covered tulsa and waves emphatically**

Hope everyone is happy!

We're making our first road trip with the baby tomorrow. But, we're only travelling about an hour, the grandparents in other states will have to come to us for a while. I'm not a complete idiot. ;)

Merry Christmas to all!

ufez, your snow is on its way up to me, and it's going to keep me from having to being able to drive down to see the in-laws tomorrow. Shoot! Guess we'll have to stay in and cook steaks instead.

And Crash, good to see that you're preparing for the festivities by diligently playing on the computer ;)

Hope everyone gets whatever they want!

Joy to you all on this Eve. Merry Christmas to all...

I shouldn't have made light of the storm - it is bad.

Everyone please stay safe out there this holiday season.

"And Crash, good to see that you're preparing for the festivities by diligently playing on the computer"

Commish, it's not that I'm shirking my responsibilities to help at home. It's that I'm still at work, shirking my responsibilities there. I get to close down the office for the holiday while everyone else goes home early.

Oh, and since I'm shirking and surfing, here is the Steven Den Beste Quote o'the Week, imho: "...those like me who are more in touch with the real limits the world imposes on us tend to fail less..."

I like SDB, but I think he's just a little egocentric. :)

I tried to think of a wish for everyone.

Dejah, may a truckful of Pampers jacknife near your house and be forced to leave its load behind.

Witchstone, may a handsome brain surgeon who doesn't work very long hours but makes a lot of money hold the door for you at the deli, and realize you are the woman of his dreams.

Jonmc, may the most unscratched copy of Amboy Dukes be wedged between a box of Quisp and Quake.

May there be a bottle of fine port under Miguel's Hannukah bush.

Crash Davis, may the grandparents be generous and the grandchildren grateful, and may they all get sleepy early.

A very cold Christmas eve with a warm feather bed for ColdChef and his bride.

Commish, a kitten crying in the cold, who needs someone to put her in their coat, next to their heart, and carry her home.

Adampsyche, I wish that Karen and Jasper get the best presents ever, because that is what will make you happiest.

Readymade, a heifer. or a llama.

Dong_resin, no livestock. A date, not with Chris Tucker. A beautiful date who adores you and puts out.

UncleFes, the suit. Perhaps a pocket square. Say no more.

Pardonme. Happiness for you and yours, especially those really special pardonettes.

Kafkaesque, may Tom Waits stop by and ask you to go out for clamato beers and CheezIts. He's buying.

TJ, a better job and a chance to go "nyah, nyah."

Goneill, a bottle of Maker's Mark or anything else from Kentucky that suits your fancy.

Brittney, a job interview suit that makes potential employers gasp when you walk in to the office and say, "Brittney, please. Sit on this side of the desk. We are not worthy!"

Thomcatspike - Alaskan Salmon. an ocean of it.

anathema - may the intellectual property of you and yours be protected in perpetuity.

eyeballkid - the beta version of the coolest game ever.

jpoulos - my wish for you, lupo, is that all the goodness and love you share with others come back to you time and again.

May our wonderchicken have safe travels, and may everyone that i forgot get money, because that's always cool.

And thanks for letting me play, too.

sneezin's greetin's, y'all.

... three apostrophes,
two hostess snack cakes,
and a smoking jacket for each monkey!

That was very thoughtful, tizzie. It makes me almost feel like singing.

I'm off to visit the folks. I can't decide whether to drink before or after.

At any rate, Happy Holidays, you buncha apes.

*leaves monkey "yule log" behind*

Geez, tizzie. That's so sweet! I'm speechless, and even more impressed that you went and looked at my pathetic site.

My wish for you is a nice evening with a bottle of fabulous chianti, quiet children, loveable dogs and beau that dotes on you. I think all of that seems pretty doable.

Oh, and a million bucks under the tree.

*picks up yule log and flings it at jonmc*

Heh, thanks Tizzie. People don't believe me when they ask what we need and we tell them "diapers. lots and lots of diapers." They think we're making it up. I swear, I never knew anything could poop this much! ;) The whole concept of doing it with regular (non-disposable) diapers went right out after about the second day, when I realized it meant doing laundry every few hours. Bleh!

yhbc, be safe in that storm...that goes for the rest of you who find yourself in it's blizzardy path!

"I swear, I never knew anything could poop this much!"

Besides monkeys, right? For the love of God, tell me you meant "anything other than monkeys"!

a happy holiday to everyone, especially to those who never noticed my fleeting presence.

may the worst days of your futures be as bright and joyous as the best of your pasts.

love,
me

Season's greetings to all of y'all. I am writing this from my parents' computer...ours hopefully will be back online soon (or as soon as I bust out of internet rehab).

It's raining here...for those of you inundated with the white stuff please be careful.

Aw...

We are lucky to have each other and that's the truth. It was a funny year in all senses of the word but the best funny was provided by you guys.

And fun. And solidarity. And warmth.

Thanks!

*breaks down, all maudlin*

Happiness to all of you. You make life just that much more fun.

funny.

[mode type = "heartfelt" alcohol content = "moderate"]

I consider you all my friends. I wish you every goodness of which you can imagine.

[/mode]

I shall now slink off to the basement, where there are presents to be wrapped and boxed wine to consume.

Oh, and the dinner went well. There were no fistfights, and everyone left with a full stomach and only the slimmest chance of salmonella.

tizz...it's cool. just ignore me :) happy one to you regardless!

commish: know that this storm blanketed OKC and tulsa both, and I've been seeing your dad in commercials for the last four days, and I always tell my parents (who, thank god have a bad memory so it always seems like a "new" story) that I "know" this dude's kid. heh. I can't escape your family!

to everyone else who didn't get that, hope you have a great time too!

hugs and kisses to all.

merry christmas. The storm started here at 11:30 as I left my parents. On the 10 minute drive home, I literally slid into my driveway. But I've got booze, a carton of cigarettes, a new blanket, a few books to read, and nowhere I have to be for a few days. I think I just got my Christmas wish.

Thanks Tiz!

For the rest of you? Just would like to say that a finer bunch of hairy-assed, finger-biting, tree-swinging, poop-flinging wiseacres I've yet to meet. My Christmas wish is that 2003 finds you all a little more prosperous, always ready with a grin, armed with even more flat-out Djinn-Boddhi street Zen, always a cocktail ahead, and always facing even odds or better for intercourse.

To you, my friends! Eat, drink and be ye Merry monkeys!

Dong, you magnificent bastard, put a scarf on!

Here's what my non-apelike friends gave us for Christmas. No, really.

It seems they're on to me.

yes, yes, holiday wishes to everyone.

it's 51 minutes into the 25th on the far coast here, and, for what it's worth, i've already raised my glass to the baby jesus.

several times.

if everything goes right, i'll be seeing santa before dawn.

I like the nightlife.
I like to boogie.

I believe that's quonz, not dong, but I may be wrong.
Ready, that is just a bout the coolest thing I've ever seen. Any chance finding out where they got it?
Um, like, who's your daddy, commish?
Just a couple flurries so far in southern NH, but it looks like it's about to roll in any minute.

I didn't find ready's monkey yet but I did find this. (scroll down a bit)
Froogle rocks.

For those with young monkeys in their lives

What I want for Christmas is for my post to... POST DAMMIT!

please?

I was just informed that I was almost the lucky owner of an almost identical monkey mail assistant. Looks like I'll be going to Marshall's soon after Christmas to see if it's still there.

pretty please?

who's your daddy, commish?

Heh. He's done the TV commercials for our family's furniture store for about 40 years now, so he's kind of an Oklahoma icon. I only mentioned it to ufez in an email exchange about Oklahoma, because, well, it only makes sense to Okies.

Anyway - quarter to eleven, and no snow yet. And hey, I got a shop-vac!

no kitties or cool monkey statues with fezzes (fezi?), though. maybe later.

Commish! Your dad is Nathan Arizona!

anathema: Our friends said they got it in a store called "Bella Casa" in Portland, Oregon (Where we live), and they called it a "Monkey Butler." Now, whether that's what it's really called, or they're just brilliant I don't know. But he's our monkey butler, and we love him.

I'll just tell you right now if you're planning on having it shipped it's solid brass and the little feller is heeeeavy, probably a good twenty pounds or more. I mean, really really heavy. Two bowling balls heavy. Expensive to ship. But he's far more fabulous in person than the picture belies. We should all be the proud owners of monkey butlers.

Readymade: I'm in Portland, too! Where's Bella Casa!? Must get more monkeys.

-mph

Readymade: I'm in Portland, too! Where's Bella Casa!? Must get more monkeys.

-mph

Ok, I'll exchange any gift I received for a monkey butler.

"Throw me the monkey butler and I'll throw you the whip! Hurry!

Happy Holidays, each and every one of you. You're all the best group of monkey lovin' total strangers I've ever met!

Michael: I have no idea....I'd never heard of it before. You of course know about the many monkey stores on 23rd Ave: Three Monkeys, Three More Monkeys, etc....They always have a good assortment of primates for all your monkey needs.

Did anybody get assless chaps?

I'm hoping that dong_resin says yes.

hey portland party people! come visit me at work! kinko's nw 23rd & lovejoy! everyone loves to go to kinko's!

or we could just like, hang out. or something.

Assless chaps?

As in "Pardon me, chaps, but are you aware you have no asses"?

As a two time Olympic skiing champion, I'm much more concerned with chapless asses. That's why I use chapstick.

Would that be asschapstick, Peekaboo?

Let me just say that I would be immensly pleased to transfer the chapstick on my lips directly to Picabo's ass.

Just sayin...

Yep.

I think this is about as good as she ever looked.

I actually got a hoe (yes, a garden hoe) and a real honest to goodness pink flamingo lawn ornament(from my folks) and a cd/radio/alarm clock from the hubby.
Oh, lest you think my parents are really weird, they also got me a $50 gift card from Wallyworld.

I'm the only weird one in the family and I work hard to keep it that way.

Homina, Homina, Homina...

Female winter athletes are the shit...not just Picabo, but Cammi Granato and Manon Rheaume, just to name a few. I'l just take this copy of Sports Illustrated For Women for a while...

Looks like no #mefi tonight.:(

Nothing like two hours of shoveling to make you wish for a monkey butler.

oh man! pink flamingos and monkey butlers...you've restored mt faith in humanity. :)

Wow. Looks like I'm in for even more shoveling. I think we must have gotten around 20 inches total.

we got a bunch, but only a few inches stuck.

damn, i wanted to be buried.

Brain surgeon? What does one do with a brain surgeon? I'm sure I haven't the slightest notion. Except for the possibility that he's good with his hands.

If you can find lower prices anywhere, my name ain't Nathan Arizona.

Brain surgeon? What does one do with a brain surgeon?

One gives their poor befuddled online freind jonmc a free lobotomy. Sheesh.

Y'know... with Yodas an' shit on `em.

I was under the impression that you'd already had one. My bad.

Of course he was wearing his jammies! Nobody sleeps naked in this house.

I think a brain surgeon would be an interesting person to talk to, you know, about brains and shit. Jeez, witchstone, I coulda said 'podiatrist' - but no! And what do I get? Freakin' grief.

You didn't say "proctologist". Count your blessings.

As in "Pardon me, chaps, but are you aware you have no asses"?

Hey, leave me out of it.

And happy belated holiday seasonings to all of you wonderful monkeys and monkettes. Hope you all were safe and well treated by the jolly fat man. Of course I'm speaking of Al Roker.

Hope everyone's holiday was satisfactory. (Tizzie, thanks for the individulaized Christmas wishes--you rock.)

I've said it before, but it bares repeating: Ya'll drive the van. (And that is a good thing.)

Oh, and look what Santa brought:

Nice Tee there Brittany.

Tizzie that was sweet,thanks.

Anyone get a surprise gift? A gift you didn't expect or ask for. It could have been an act of kindness from a stranger too.

Oh, and look what Santa brought:

Must. Not. Make. Inappropriate. Comment.

Brittney, that is so cute. Santa must love you!

Nice Tee there Brittany.

That was nice of me, sounds like the above I was speaking of British Tea.

Brittney, a named spelled many ways:P
Brittnie, Brittny & the I'm a blond, Brittni

I use to put names on sailor hats for folks so I had to play; spell my name game a lot. Sorry Brittney. Every once in a while, Brittainy

Hang in there, Chef, I'll cover it.

What he said.

TCS- You can call me Brit. Or bitchcakes.

Whichever.

Britcakes.

TCS- You can call me Brit. Or bitchcakes.

Oh my! Dear bitchcakes...

OK, I can't stop myself, I have to post a link to more baby pictures. (It's a sickness I tell you, I'm like a crazy person with the camera all the time...) Anyway, here's some xmas pics of Tommy (and us).

Please don't make fun of the fat girl, as I've no idea how I'm ever going to get my old body back...but rumor has it I may have to make sacrifices to the gods of Nautilus and I can't do that until all the surgery stuff heals. So, I'm still huge. And temperamental. And heavily armed. So, no making fun of me. ;)

I likes the fat chicks.

Y'know, I remember the days when ours were all little, and they kept us up all night.

I'm lying, I don't remember that at all. Since they're almost all teenagers now, my brain has turned to mush and I can't even remember what I had for breakfast.

tizzie - you are the world's nicest. i've completely forgiven you for standing me up. i'm getting to louisville for new year's so i'll be gettin' some (bourbon, of course)

(I was trying to write an innappropriate comment about kentucky delux, but i couldn't do it without it being obvious and pathetic. you know, the kind of comment that makes the boys think that they themselves thought of the dirty joke, and you remain a sweet innocent)

He's so small! And cute!

Thanks Dejah.

Btw, D, do people tell your husband he looks like the SF writer Spider Robinson? 'Cause he does, a little.

Dejah! Wow! I really love the doggie pic; it's so sweet, especially with the little summary of doggie attentions festooned upon the wee one. Merry merry to the littlest spider-monkey.

(Get it? Spider-Monkey? Hah!)

I've no idea how I'm ever going to get my old body back...

Dejah, after the time you spent in labor, if I recall was pretty damn long. After hearing that as that is a feat in itself. I would never look at your physical being other than that, inside of you.

Thanks for sharing the Christmas pics, Lil Tommy.

"Somebody" came and left a note in my livejournal asking if we'd found a name for the monkey butler yet. I figured I would open it up to you to throw out names for him. Y'know, if you're inspired.

from the site on the monkey butler..

Our well–dressed resin monkey sits cross–legged, balancing a 7–1/2” dia circle of clear glass on his little monkey paws and his tasseled fez.

resin monkey
tasseled fez.

These names look more like some of our monkey buddies.

I'd name him "SissyFightSchoolBoard", in honor of this discussion.

Dejah, that is an adorable baby!

BTW I forgot to mention it earlier, but that Santa centerfold pic looked a bit too much like my dh (excepting of course Santa's head.)

I can't believe I said that.

to get back on the subject of assless chaps.

yes. i aspire to one day be MR.SACRAMENTO CHEEKS N CHAPS (probably 2005, as i've got a freaking lot of work to do.)

that's right -- i'm too lazy to rotate photos.

for some reason i have a weird feeling i already posted that here.

deja derriere.

I think all monkey butlers are automatically named Jeeves aren't they?

Ah. Xmas was good. Went to the wife's family in Los Gatos, CA...then to my little family in San Jose, now back in SoCal for our own little dinner...tomorrow to New Orleans.

A bottle and my friends and me.

And Thomas is too cute. You'll have to get some kind of license for that much cute.

(Are you going to drop in on Chef? Tell him hello)

Fishfucker: I dare you to wear a pick in your hair. To wear the chaps alone--it just doesn't cut muster.

And by the way, if you want to know what a flock of peacocks is: it's a muster. That's your little lesson for today. Crow: murder is to Peacock: muster.

Spider Robinson's meditation on copyright.
Nice pictures everyone, thanks.

Dejah, what a beautiful little man. And I have all but given up on getting my old body back. If you see my former waistline out and about, say "hi" for me.

Peacock: Muster is to Larks, Beauties and Pogues: Bevy.

whatnot, I'm unable to click anything on your site.

whatup whatnot?

That dog-and-baby show is wonderful! What a great picture.

That is so awesome that Osa Bear has decided to take care of this new puppy in the house. I can't stop smilin', Mama Dejah, and I bet you can't either.

On a completely separate note, I'll bet only a few of you knew Boba Fett was a porn star previous to his bounty hunting days.

Also, nice work with the baby makn', Dejah.
You crank out a high quality product.

Just don't let `im grow up to be a bounty hunter/porn star.
There are enough kids flooding the market.

Heh, thanks gang. :) I like him. Think I'll keep him. ;) (Thanks for putting up with the constant barrage of baby pictures...I know we're insane people with a camera right now. heheheh.)

And Whatnot, I bet your waistline is out there with mine somewhere, wearing little bejewled belly rings, wooing naked boys with six pack abs and glistening pecs. Damn those missing body parts for having all the fun. ;)

Y'know, as I sideline, I'll bet that it's a good living for ol' Boba. He can get specific with all of those "bounty hunter" niche marketing porn videos.

Not a bad side gig. No, it's not.

You can always count on bounty hunters for the money shot. Just ask Joe Don Baker.

website no clickie-clickie. oh dear. anathema, what browser are you using? the site is xhtml/css strict, but that's no guarantee it works, right? Then again, we are about to embark on an 8-day road trip, so I doubt we'll be tinkering on the intarweb for a while. Sorry if ennyone else has had the same trouble.

Dejah, you will relate to this, maybe: when my first baby was about 8 days (!?!) overdue, I stumbled across an old photo of myself in an ultra-curvy, spaghetti-strapped evening dress. And oh, how I wept. Like a jilted prom date.

OMG, 8 days overdue? How on earth did you stand it? Bleh! Me, I went over by a day or two and started begging them to induce labor. ;)

... We ended up being 10 days overdue. I would have waited even longer had I known what induction would be like. The second was only 4 days overdue, which was a picnic by comparison.

I am almost finished packing for our fantabulous family road trip (read: hell on wheels). Have fun kids! See ya next year!

It may be the browser. Chimera/Navigator which is a Mozilla build for OS X with a cocoa front end. I'll give it a whirl in another. Have a good trip.

It works in IE 5.2 but not Mozilla.

And Whatnot, I bet your waistline is out there with mine somewhere...

Both your waistlines have been personal guests of mine for some time. They're sharing a bungalow out back--sunning themselves by day out by the pool, dancing away their nights at one of the many downtown clubs. They've become quite popular with the local hipster set. I hear Mirimax is looking rather seriously at a screenplay that one of them wrote. The other, rumor has it, has been seen recently in the company of Viggo Mortensen--in its navel, a rock the size of a baby's fist.

I swear I've not taken advantage of them--although I must admit that, Dejah, yours did twice try to seduce me. It might have succeeded, too, if not for those meddling kids.

A note about posting images:

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