9622.net

I blame it on me. Feel free to do the same. Mwuahahaha!

Blame it on the rain.

cool. bienvenidos al pollo magnifico!

The chickenista is among us!?!? Huzzah!

Blame it on Rio

I blame society

I blame my parents.

I blame his parents, too.

Yeah, I blame pardon me's parents. Or the French.

It's Pardon Me's long line of ancestors that are really at fault here.

J'accuse!

Blame Canada.

Leave me outta this!

You know who never gets blamed for anything? Belgium!

Screw those guys!

Blame Candada.

(Also, what Crash said five minutes ago.)

Speaking of taters, has anyone ever had one of these? Even I'm a little scared...

Blame Candada?

No, Blame Candida! Blame Tony Orlando! Blame Dawn While were at it!

I used to eat them by the ton when I was a wee lad, Jon. I think they'd just make me sick now.

More info on the Spud, since I hit "Post" instead of "Preview".

(Note: Why that page is on a secured server, I have no idea)

Blame Candide!

This is a test of the Emergency Broadcast System. The broadcasters of your area in voluntary cooperation with the Federal, State and local authorities have developed this system to keep you informed in the event of an emergency. If this had been an actual emergency, the Attention Signal you just heard would have been followed by official information, news or instructions. This concludes this test of the Emergency Broadcast System.

Damnit! We can't have nice things.

This is a test.

Did I pass? Did I huh?

Mr. Thewonderchicken, while you have scored very high on certain parts of the test, your complete and abject failure to correctly draw Tippy in any recognizable fashion cannot allow us, with clear conscience, to bestow upon you a passing mark.

Nice pirate, though.

9622.net: We can't have nice things

Am I gonna have to "take care" of the server?

Last time I take a course from a matchbook cover.

*shakes Shatnerian fist at the sky*

You'll pay, by god, you'll pay dearly for this insult!

is that you, teej?

yep

Hey, have you guys seen this FUNNY BOOK?

That's TJ!?! I allus thought he were a young 'un, still wet behind the ears.

Why, he's a handsome man!

Looking very much like a Detroiter, I must say. He looks like he's on his way to kick the ass of some auto show visitors.

And I knew it was him as soon as I saw the depressing gray sky and bare trees.

Teej looks like he is thinking about filling your mouth up with cement, but not until he's done with his smoke.

Yup, definitely the Michael "I Might Slice Your Ear Off" Madsen look going on in the picture, TJ. Excellent.

More Pictures! Mr. Chicken, did you have a fine sojourn in Candida? Did you get Candida? Did you drink fine Rye and Ginger?

well thankee all. That was taken by Britain on my second to last day of work a couple of weeks ago.

and damnit, I am a youngun! I'm 29!

That's what I keep saying! Except I really am 29. For exactly 2 more months. Fuck it, I'm ready for 30.

I keep saying I'm 29 too. But I've been 29 for 4 years now.

I've always thought it strange that 29 is the age that people want to be for years. I'm so tired of it, I really am looking forward to 30.

Turn back, Witchstone! Turn back before it's too late! We break hips here on the other side of 30!

Canuckada was indeed fine and therapeutic, green and white and not as cold as Korea, oddly. It's good to be back home. Coming back to Korea yesterday was actually coming home, which suprised the Living Piss (wasn't Jim Carey on that show?) out of me, to be honest. My buddy Barry and I emptied a fine bottle of scotch courtesy of some dear simian pals, and much rye was also consumed with the devil's micturate : coke.

Write about it, I will.

yeah, but I actually am 29 for another 9 months.

dammit.

And I knew it was him as soon as I saw the depressing gray sky and bare trees.

NJ has more of the same. Keeps me from feeling homesick.

26 for another 6 months. finally, a crew that makes me feel like a youngin'.

Quick! Drain the young one's blood, that we may bathe in it, thus saving some spark of lithe youth!

Blame it on Robert Palmer, let me explain a customer put in his 2002 year tax cd we just sent him out, and it started up instead Robert Palmer music. The cd house mixed some in by mistake, big blamo on themo.

Blame it on midnight.

"...a customer put in his 2002 year tax cd we just sent him out, and it started up instead Robert Palmer music..."

That's a Bad Company.

Hello. I just want to mention that I'm not smoking. And that to reward myself, I eschewed my usual Busch for a six-pack of Negra Modela.

That's all.

Oh, and I blame all of you, of course.

Soon, commish, I will be "not smoking" with you. Although the drinking of the beer will have to stop for a while, because as everyone knows, drinking needs smoking and vice-versa ("vice" being the operative word). They need each other like hammers need watermelons or screws or something, and damned if I'm one to say no.

Which is my whole problem.

Way to go, Trixie!

Way to go, Trixie!

I blame you, of course.

Just turned 32 last month.

Your twenties are far better than your thirties, take it from me.

It's like that old Matt Groening cartoon where the adult tells the highschooler, "these are the best years of your life."

To which the kid replies "You mean it gets worse?

Sorry, it wasn't that funny.

Early thirties good. Early twenties bad. At least for me.

Actually, my circumstances are more or less the same from 20's to 30's it's just that the older I get, the more I realize how screwy I am compared to rest of the world. In my 20's everybody seemed screwy...

Tizzie, I'm glad somebody liked that joke. And it's precisely because drinking does go with smoking that I'm drinking only dark beer (I also got a four-pack of those little Guinness cans, just in case), which breaks my usual pattern.

This is how we prove ourselves more advanced than our primate brethren, or something - by forcing ourselves to change established behaviour patterns by consciously doing something different, so as to make the experience a new one, which does not lead automatically to the same behaviors.

Or maybe not.

I hope ya got some snacks around, commish. That's the only thing that kept me sane when I was quitting. But hey it's six months and counting...

You're not going to believe this shit, but on Food TV, right now, they are doing a show about that wack ass potato snack seen above.

Our universe is collapsing.

Marty's quitting as of today, allegedly.

not me though.

Food TV?

Shit, I'm still getting used to the idea of the Weather Channel.

What's it like? Welcome back! Now, let's look at some more food!

It's like food porn. They make all kinds of wonderful food that makes the food you eat look like a pale imitation; less glamorous but more sincere.

"Food porn." Heh. That conjures up images of Emeril Lagasse doing untoward things to a turducken while Doc Gibbs plays "bow-chicka-wow-wow" in the background. Not good. (Although if they actually had Rachel Ray involved in food porn, that would be Must-See TV).

And yhbc, it's not just about food preparation -- there's a great show called "Unwrapped" (which may or may not have been what Chef was watching) that goes behind-the-scenes to show how various food products are made.

Fucking Mayor Bloomberg is going to force me to quit smoking before my time has come.

*steams*

You know, bars without smoking are like the Korean War. I really don't know where I'm going with that metaphor, but I'm reading this book that takes place during the Korean War and I feel like I should start tossing around references. You know, like I'm smart.

I don't smoke, unless it is natural...

But here in dallas they are talking of doing this...no smokeing in the restaurants then the bars to be fair too.

For me Dallas is the only city were most who go out do smoke. I came to this conclusion as I always hear...I only smoke when I drink.

I think I saw "Unwrapped" once, pardon me. It reminded me of the segments they used to show on Mr. Rogers where they make crayons. That's not criticism! I love stuff like that.

When I worked for H***z, I toured a ketchup factory and the Kibbles 'n Bits factory and they were fascinating! All the Kibbles and all the Bits are actually the same stuff - they just come out of different extruders to make the various shapes.

Oh god, I sound like such a dork.

The ketchup factory was a lot like the Korean War, though.

I worked in the factory of famous food manufacturer for a while myself (I wont name them except to say that it's someone everyone remembahs!)

I learned a few things there. That it's an almost spiritual experience to see a HUGE sheet of pre-swirl raisin bread get covered with a huge amount of cinnamon. Plus, I learned what lecithin looks like.

Jon, speaking of factories & your love for food.

I grew up down the street from N....o. I mention because, well when they baked the products you knew which ones by the smell.

But the H..t plant to the east...uh anyone like the smell of can/tomato, bluck...I think that and steel plants are about even...but not to a paper mill..wheww weee pukey.

Music settlement. Anyone hear of this?

5 to 20 bucks..Like I kept my reciepts too.

TCS, bear in mind that the lawyers will first take their (large) fees out of the settlement amount. Then whatever is left of the pool will be divided by the number of people who make claims by the web site. If that number is below $5 per claim, all money will go to charity/government/non-profit organizations. If the full pot ($67 million) was available, then about 13 million claims would bring the average below $5. After the millions in attorneys' fees are taken out, that number will probably be substantially less.

At first I thought they probably wouldn't have enough claims to dip below the $5 threshold. Now that the meme is spreading like wildfire (I've read about it 3 times today -- including yours), I'm not so sure. (But don't worry about not having receipts -- you don't need 'em!)

speaking of food, I won't want pancakes for awhile.
Check the blue pages. *sob*

Even though he was an honored bunny who had a good life, it is sad to see the little one go. I know how the person who loved him feels.

Oh, phooey, I'm all teary.

Man.

I can't take animals dying.

I always try to remember that this is just another step, another part of life, but it doesn't help when it's a little animal.

buh.

Thanks pardon me :)

Tizzie & B****** ( my pod-buddies think your name is Bitchfire, well the blanks)

Regarding the bunny.
Yes, but it is a bunny we would have never had the pleasure to meet or seen.

I used to work on my grandfather's mink farm. Tough work and long hours, but in the winter, as I would draw my mink coat around me, I could be proud of the fact that I helped raise and kill those minks.

Two words :
Hasenpheffer.

Did you name them, witchstone?
Like "See this slightly grayish brown bit here by the collar? that was Blinky."

Of course I named them! All Shakespearian characters, of course. So it would be more like, "See this bit by my shoulder--that was Titus Andronicus. He died bravely."

Doctor D.R.-You know, this means wahhr.

Us rabbits stick together-I have to admit when I heard about our little pancake fella that I cried.

Of course I clicked on the first link. Which was a mistake, as someone pointed out.

Oh, Thom, please do inform your co-workers. How my spoilers started is related to my, ahem, inauspicious beginning here at the site.
I mean, I'm only a cute lit'le bunny....

Have the minks stopped screaming, Clarice?

I dunno, let me check.

...

...

...

Nope, they're still there, screaming.

"I used to work on my grandfather's mink farm. Tough work and long hours..."

And mink are stinky, vicious little vermin. Making coats out of them is justice, as far as I am concerned.

Blame it on this cat.

TCS and pardonme:

my thoughts on the settlement are here.

argh.

Nobody does food porn like the Koreans. Rock on!

Gaaaaaaaack! Food porn snuff films are not for my western sensibilities.

*shudder*

*pokes head in briefly*
Ciao tutti. Hope your holidays involved lots of good food, good alcohol, and better friends. Barring that, a least copious amounts of sex. Or midget porn, whichever you prefer.

Red Arsed Baboons, in compensation for my horrifiying tardiness, I hope you like Italian coffee, chocolate, and barbeque aprons involving nudity. I suck. *hangs head in shame*

Hopefully, I will finish this F@% website soon, as I vastly prefer dreaming about monkeys over databases and variables. Smooches from Rome...
*goes back to wrastling with PHP*

Did someone say midget porn?

9622 is...

9622 is...

Post, you preprorelaxin!

Mr. Davis, would you care to explain to the court what in the name of all that is holy is going on here??

"Cornhole" is a cliche on Stripcreator, much as "pancakes" or "this (X), it vibrates?" is on MeFi.

That particular strip was made for a contest posted in one of the forums. Plus, I was drunk, as I usually am when I make comics.

Besides, a dragon cornholing a Confederate soldier is comedy gold.

Also, see this strip (not mine, but funny nonetheless).

Also, see this strip (not mine, but funny nonetheless).

Crash gets around. My wife sent me a fark comments page with some of your artwork...the iMac thing.

So funny it's worth looking at twice.

Today's Apple products Photoshop? There was some good stuff there; unfortunately all the good ideas were taken by the time I got to it.

Yeah. That was the one.

Liked the Hal one particularly.

9622: unfortunately all the good ideas were taken

Did anyone see the NY Times article, For Retired Chimps, a Life of Leisure?

"Jessie, a pink-faced 20-year-old, slapped her ample belly and hooted wildly from behind a steel gate. Dover, a mischievous 4-year-old, spied an unfamiliar human [presumably the reporter] and served up his standard greeting for strangers, a fistful of feces, pitched with remarkable accuracy."

these winter days as i hork and bork my way through a nasty bout of bronchitis i can't help but think that the magic marlboros used to provide me immunity from crap like this. [sigh].

Eeksy-Peeksey, yes, I read that. While a lot of it made me happy, the picture of this old fellow just about broke my heart.

I think we ought to adopt him as the official 9622 chimp, and make him smile.

The old chimp does look a bit down, but maybe it's just pleasantly old, relaxing, thinking back, enjoying the sun, waiting for the next bingo game.

(And 'A Fistful of Feces' sounds like a Clint Eastwood movie title, maybe a spaghetti western with that damned orangutan riding a horse.)

(And judging by what happens in my household, Marlboros _do_ prevent colds, and vitamins and scarves cause them.)

(And...)

"Cornhole" is a cliche on Stripcreator, much as "pancakes" or "this (X), it vibrates?" is on MeFi.

Cornhole is that the samething found in Southpark, seems a character had some similar name.

I think you're thinking of Beavis and Butthead and the Great Cornholio.

Can't speak to South Park, but Beavis had a sugar-induced alter ego known as Cornholio

Damn you, witchstone! Your google image skillz are far superior to mine!

whoa. heh heh.

that was cool.

Witch, mr hanky the christmas poo, his son was cornwallce, that was maybe what jarred my memory.

I used to work on my grandfather's mink farm. Tough work and long hours..... and kill those minks.
But the H..t plant to the east...uh anyone like the smell of can/tomato, bluck.....but not to a paper mill..wheww weee pukey.

Witch you win for where it really stinks. I take all the above back as I trapped & skinned two, and to this day am stuck with that pugent smell.

What do I win?

A miracle bra ;)

"What do I win?"

An all-expense paid trip to Hoboken.

Let's see, I'll be saving, *counts* $3! That's if I even want a round trip ticket. I may want to stay forever in Hoboken. At least you can smoke in the bars there!

What do I win? Prize

Well you have the mink coat :P

. . . yeah. okay.

Why not in Office Space?

"Watch your cornhole, Peter."

I was sure they were going to bring you back, Hota. I even emailed your work account when we got back from Xmas break just in case.

I'll be 29 in about a month and a half. I want to have a sweet sixteen party but call it a "29 Forever" party.

Britain, from the pics you have some time til 30...The Baby. He's a keeper, which one is you.

I *heart* that baby. Uncle Britain, it looks like he's a sweetie pie.

Are we back to the age thing again? B/C, you know, the only one that can trump me (as far as I know) is the M.I.A. P-Lo. Yes, I'm 23 for 5 and a half more months.

~chuckle~

*is 35*

*feels 53*

*feels 53*

That's just Utah, man.

As the walls were beginning to close in around me at my last Big Shot Tech Job in Sydney and I was getting a bit wobbly, I used to shout "I am Cornholio! I need TP for my bunghole!" at volume, at random intervals. The CEO was doing one of his occasional walkthroughs and was passing my veal fattening pen one time just as I let fly. He loved me because the bigshot clients loved me, but he gave me a bit of an odd look nonetheless.

They were happy to give me a payout and see me out of there, I think.

I find that story oddly arousing.

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