9622.net

I'm not being morbid, I just need reassurance!

I think it's about half real concern, half media panicmongering. That edge-of-annihilation feeling does wonders for ad rates somehow...

The news is easier to take than emails from my family.

Well, that's probably because I don't watch the news.

Stop worrying. Love the bomb.

Relax, Tizz; if we managed to avoid blowing ourselves to scorchy smithereens in the 50s and 60s, we certainly aren't going to now that we know better.

Times are fulminant, it's true. But life is long, there are ebbs and there are flows, and the events we hear of today are for the most part well beyond our control. The answer, of course, is as it has always been: live your life as best you can today, for we cannot know what comes tomorrow, nor what comes after. Remember that other people are also people, not set dressing in the Grand Saga of Me, with thoughts, experience and lives as full, rich, interesting and, ultimately, worthy as our own; treat children and old people indulgently; observe a modicum of etiquette; think critically, read widely, drink good booze, and avoid wedgifying your panties as much as you can.

--from Uncle Fes's new bestseller, "Chicken Soup for the Poop-Flinging Soul," coming soon to a remainder box near you

In all honesty, I had a more pervasive worry throughout the entire cold war period (at least the part that I was alive to see). Everytime I heard the air raid sirens tested, I was sure a thousand ICBMs were about to rain down on my head.

And not to get all MeFi, but I just don't know how I feel about this current crisis crises. On the one hand, I'm one of those who hates war, and believes any military conflict represents an abject failure of humanity. On the other hand, I'm realistic enough to know that my pollyanna world doesn't exist, and sometimes conflict is necessary to prevent a greater harm. To me, war must be a last resort. Is it in the case of Iraq? It might be. I'm not going to sit here and praise Bush (I'm not a big fan), but I also think it's absurd to argue that he's the real "threat" when compared to a guy who slaughters hundreds of thousands of his own people, who everybody knows desparately wants nukes and germs and chemicals. What would he do with that stuff if he got it? Sit on it? Stare fondly at it behind a display case? No, I believe he'd use it, even if he knew he was guaranteeing his own demise and the annihilation of his country. That's what scares me. What is the cost of doing nothing?

OK, shoot me now. I've ruined 9622. But I blame tizzie -- she started it all.

Pardon!

*BLAM!*

*thud*

(from the great beyond, should such a thing exist)

Thanks, fes. I needed that. I also like your post much better than mine. That's how I like to think I think about such things.

Well, it's personal where I live. I AM a Bush fan, but if/when we go to war, there are a lot of people I know who may go (or are already there) who won't be here...and on a selfish note these deployments do a whammy on our local economy.

But I figure that in the long run we are all dead, and when it's time it doesn't matter.

Nah, fuggedaboutit, everybody wedges their panties once in a while. If they didn't, every day over at the Blue it'd be nothing but art and Linux links and the the dulcet strains of Fold-and-Mutilate and JRomanoff dueting Zippity Doh Dah out their digital butts.

Except to the people left behind.

think critically, read widely, drink good booze, and avoid wedgifying your panties as much as you can.

I think it's all the reading that's making me drink.

I need to start actually working while I'm at work, instead of reading Google news.
And as for the panties... hey! I'm not wearing any! Cheeky me.

But I blame tizzie -- she started it all.

So shoot me! Nyah nyah!

I'm not wearing any!

See, now THIS is news I can READ!

*points gun at Tizzie, recalls that she's pantyless, falters, lowers gun, leers*

How you doin'?

So shoot me! Nyah nyah!

I can't, I'm dead. But talk to fes -- he apparently has a gun and a willingness to use it.

OK -- strike that part about "willingness to use it."

Look, we're all pretty much doomed.
The trick is to watch Joe Millionaire so you don't mind so much.

ful·mi·nant -- Exploding or detonating.
There. I feel smarter.

*wiggles her shapely panty-less bum*

Man it's not even noon and we've already had nuclear war, nudity, and gunplay.

I love you people.

...and fes, old chum, tonight I shall eat fried candy and hoist suds in your honor at the wingding.

What is the cost of doing nothing?

Ask our payroll department!
*snare drum*
Tip your bottomless dancers!

Tizzie, I certainly hope that you won't be wearing any panties when we have our beer at the Cincinnati Airport.

Say what you will about current events, there is nothing finer than a pantyless girl who'll wiggle for big words.

*whispers* Hey Tizz... I find you to be very perspicacious.

*leers even more*

*realizes this may be why eeksy-peeksy reportedly does so well with the ladies*

*tips hat to jonnie mac*

Fine, you all can make sport.

Me, I'm staying in the basement with a year's supply of Almaden Blush Chablis, just in case.

I didn't know it was gonna be that kind of beer, Witchy. Gee.
*all flustered*

Sorry, this is just too tempting..

I'm not going to sit here and praise Bush (I'm not a big fan),...

You'd better leave then there seems to be a lot of it around today...

...and fes, old chum, tonight I shall eat fried candy and hoist suds in your honor at the wingding.

Can you technically have a MetaFilter get-together if there is no MetaFilter? Maybe you should call it "MetaFilter Live!!!" Of course, everyone should be sure to finish all thoughts by saying: "Posted by X at Y"

We're fucked. It's simply alarming to me the comfortability many people have today with perpetual "war." And the propensity of my brothers to repeat every word that comes out of Bush's mouth.

"He's a great leader...he's facing something nobody ever faced...."

"That's the price you pay for living in a free country..."

"The dividends tax cut will not benefit only the rich...."

IIRC, the server was down during one of the other get-togethers as well....

Your brothers said that?
Adam, it's not too late to put yourself up for adoption.

I demand many pictures from the get together. Many. And then I demand photoshops of said pictures.

The NY MefiMeet is tonight? Damnation. I shall hoist two in your honor, and another to the honor of the rest of my adopted crew. Salud, mi amigae.

I question the possibility that we're fucked, though. Presidential election is less than two years away. I just hope my pals in the reserves have the sense to not walk in front of anything loud until their year's up.

that first line is crap, Adampsyche, but the last two, though glib sloganeering, do have some measure of merit.

What ufez said!

Free is a relative term.

I regretfully announce that I won't be able to make it up tonight. School at an undecent hour in the morning tomorrow, the household getting over a sickness, bla bla bla. Was looking forward to it, but it'll have to be next time.

One brother is in law school, the other interned for the Forrester campaign in NJ (Republican Governer, lost to Schundler).

My fear is that Bush will gain re-election because he's a wartime president, and this country will continue the slow return to Reagan's dream of a festering, intellectually impoverished cesspool that services the needs of large corporations and fools the public into thinking it gives two shits about human rights.

Not that I care.

Did I need a ~chortle~ at the end of that?

What Kafka said, only without thinking I'm somehow better than the noble kangaroo.

Seriously, what's wrong with you?

Puppies!

I think we all need a chortle.

As opposed to, say, a corrupt, salacious regime of political correctness, glib bigotry masked as assistance, arrogant ignorance, and an intellectually impoverished cesspool that services the needs of mafia-run labor unions, victimization junkies, bloated bureaucracies and Marxist Luddites while fooling the public into thinking it gives two shits about human rights.

*buries head in hands*

*dreams of the day when I can reach the intellectual and moral heights of the noble kangaroo*

*follows owns advice, dewedgifies panties, demands all ignore last post, goes to lunch*

Oh bummer, adam, I was looking forward to exchanging cow-slaughter stories over a coupla beers...

can't you swing by and say hello? i'll be there around 7:30 ish.

i'm still debating which costume to wear.

*looks up from fetal position in the corner*

puppies?

Nothing wrong with me...just assing around.

Me too.

I was assing around, kafka.
My, the tone in this joint is in the crapper today.
Cheer up! we're all going to war! Yippie!

There's something funky about the barbecue sauce on this cheesesteak I bought on Spring and 6th. I think pushcart condimnts are piped in via an elaborate system of underground plumbing. But it adds zest to the meat, so what the hell.

Plus there was a gaggle of highschoolers playing catch with a football across traffic.

Noo Yawkers are a breed apart.

My, the tone in this joint is in the crapper today.

Just where you like it, dong, just where you like it.

crap on
crap off
crap on

the crapper

Crapper John MD.

if you're crappy and you know it
crap your hands

Maggots!

Why'd I click on that?
Jesus, gross.

Crap!

Crap!

Crap, crap crap!

Crap it up!

I'll take it.

So, jon, do you mean funky as in "this bbq sauce has a definitively odd smell, it has a 'funk' to it" or funky as in "Fuuhhhhhhhhnnnkaaaahhhhhhhh!"

Jesus, gross.

I agree, those larvae are looking a wee bit extra shiny and moist this afternoon, aren't they? My brother, who used to be a trashman, comments: "It's never about the maggot - it's about the meat."

WoooHOOO tagline!
9622: "It's never about the maggot - it's about the meat."

Fes,

A little bit of both dude. I ordered two of the fuckers and was only able to make it through one and a half.

As far as maggots and meat go...I'll just let this speak for itself

Forget about war, forget about maggots, forget about all these things and lose yourself in thoughts about:

How I Can Scandalize The Mefi Meetup

All suggestions will be taken seriously.

We will all go together when we go
Every Hottentot and every Eskimo
There will be no more misery
When the world is a rotisserie
Yes we'll all go together when we goooooo

9622: Why'd I click on that? Jesus, gross.

Witchstone, I was gonna suggest a Courtney Love theme, but that probably wouldn't raise an eyebrow.

witchstone, choose an unwitting male attendee and start harassing him audibly about paternity and child support.

Hire a hooker to go in and act like you for the first half an hour.

Or, wear flannel. Nothing spells scandel like flannel.

Make it very clear, through a series of lewd innuendos, that you know members #1-1000 better than most people.

How I Can Scandalize The Mefi Meetup

One word: Cleavage

Other suggestions:

• attempt to perform lewd acts on evanizer
  
• tell everyone you're really bunnyfire
  
• talk loudly and incessentaly about all the "dorks" who spend so much time on their "computers"
  
• lobby for a "Nude Girls of MeFi" Calendar, and volunteer to conduct the January photo shoot right then and there
  
• go up to everyone and ask if they've heard about this broom that vibrates
  
• express relief that that stupid rat oolong finally kicked the bucket
  
• start a rumor that Matt Haughey has sold all of our personal information for thousands of dollars
  
• claim that you've had a torrid threesome with fold_and_mutilate and rushmc (but that you were ignored much of the time)

actually, nothing spells scandal like mis-spelling scandal.
sheesh.

(sorry, just closing some tags)

Two words :
religious pamphlets.

These are great! I knew this crew would come through for me.

Courtney Love theme
Great, the track marks on my arms will fit right in. Perhaps I'll emphasize them with makeup.

witchstone, choose an unwitting male attendee and start harassing him audibly about paternity and child support.
excellent. if only bluetrain were going to be there!

Hire a hooker to go in and act like you for the first half an hour.
Unfortunately, I'm already too much of a celebrity within the NY Mefi crowd, so I can't hire a hooker to pretend that she's me. I was just thinking I'd go ahead and dress like a hooker and start charging people for blowjobs.

Make it very clear, through a series of lewd innuendos, that you know members #1-1000 better than most people.
I've already done some of the groundwork on this plan as I was seen leaving with anildash at the last meetup. One down, 999 to go!

claim that you've had a torrid threesome with fold_and_mutilate and rushmc (but that you were ignored much of the time)
How did you know about this? They said the video camera was off.

Also good :

An empty box marked "pet tarantula".

hey - we're going to war? where do you get your news when mefi is down?

"How I Can Scandalize The Mefi Meetup"

Wear one of these:

Also, mention that although Mefi is down, 9622 is still working as long as you say "POST, DAMMIT".

Tizzie?

tell everyone you're really bunnyfire

This will get you killed. I don't recommend it.

That's ummm...quite a superior posterior.

That's ME!!

Oh, oh dear.

Tizzie?

And that is a glimpse of my future.

Holy crap! It's an epidemic!

Post, bitch.

My kinda gals. Maybe I should move to tokyo...

Witchstone: How to scandalize?

EASY....just scotch-tape the "Gawker" logo across your chest.

I'll see everyone tonight...and I've got my camera. Lookout...

Yeah baby yeah!

i'm going to try to drag ms. gawker herself. she's kind of afraid of beer being dumped on her.

*laments the fact that he is not travelling to NY tonight to meet with the MeFi/9622 goons, but instead is driving up to the ass end of the universe (atascadero) to teach for a week*

"How I Can Scandalize The Mefi Meetup"

You could always enter the room singing "The Warrior," ala Patty Smyth.

By the way, crash, those nudist japanese chicks...do they have pocky?

OK, you guys, remember - as soon as they go off to their meet-up, then the rest of us are going to do that really cool, fun thing we were gonna do. And we're gonna keep it a secret, too, so they can just SUFFER while we are totally having really cool fun.

Yeah.

If anyone wants an mp3 of The Warrior by Patty Smyth (well, technically she was still part of Scandal then) just ask.

You know, to practice before the meetup.

:D

How could I forget, tizzie? I've got everything on my list ready to go: car battery, ginger ale, Twister, headcheese, 32 quarts of 2-stroke motor oil, The Book of Mormon, one box of Depends (extra absorbent), and a BetaMax copy of Xanadu. As long as everyone else has done their homework, we're in for a good time.

You know, Unclefes, sometimes love just ain't enough.

Be careful or she'll say Goodbye To You....

maybe... but only because love's got a line on you, jon.

*applause*

We'll be here all week.

Don't forget to tip your pantieless Tizzie.

Y'all do remember that "The Warrior" was the Kaycee Nicole theme song, yes?

Personally, I'll be singing "Rhinestone Cowboy."

9622: Riding Out On A Horse In A Star-Spangled Rodeoooooo...

I still have goneill's phone number programmed into my cellphone. Anyone want to harrass her during the meetup?

(I josh. I'd only give out her number to long lost boyfriends of hers named "Timmy.")

If they didn't, every day over at the Blue it'd be nothing but art and Linux links and the the dulcet strains of Fold-and-Mutilate and JRomanoff dueting Zippity Doh Dah out their digital butts.

claim that you've had a torrid threesome with fold_and_mutilate and rushmc (but that you were ignored much of the time)

What a pleasant surprise! Hi to all.

Not to quibble, but "butts" are strictly anal-og.

And I rarely engage in anything less than torrid but serial dozensomes, leaving 'em all weak from multi-gasms. Free Love and all that, dontcha know.

Then, in their weakened, wet and loin-quivering acquiescent state, I'm able to convert your women to The Left.

It's just like you feared.

~Thorogood Bad to The Bone riff~

spindle_and_tear

Okay, so that picture up top could potentially describe MeFi...'cause it's *not* looking too pretty right now.

:: scratches head, v. concerned ::

Never mind, it's back, it's back! :)

ooh, f_and_m can have his pinko commie way with me any day of the week!

(But I was converted long ago by The Clash.
What, like they were really thinking about Sandinistas when they were in the studio?)

Mr. Mutilate, I'm beginning to think you're omnipresent. The instant your name is raised, you pop in. It's scarier than Ashcroft, I tell 'ya.

Yes?

Mr. Mutilate, I'm beginning to think you're omnipresent. The instant your name is raised, you pop in. It's scarier than Ashcroft, I tell 'ya.

Please. Just call me Mr. Fold.

And nah. I usually just pop in when MeFi is down.

But thanks for thinking of me. It's sweet.

crumple_and_holepunch

Yes?

*begins sweating*

er, did I say Ashcroft? I meant to say "Steve Kroft." Sorry about that, sir.

Bend over and take it like Morley, kid.

dogear_and_disfigure

Fold and Mutilate....

How bout "Origami Atrocity"?

Come to think of it though, getting an honorable mention here when I ain't even here kinda indicates that for some, I am omnipresent, doesn't it?

But omniscience is another valid hypothesis, ya know. Do consider it.

~wink~

wad_and_waste

I've got everything on my list ready to go: ... As long as everyone else has done their homework, we're in for a good time.

Excellent, pardon me!

Hmmm, dong_resin, honey, didya get those Little Debbie snack cakes??

I brought the moonshine. *wink*

Come to think of it though, getting an honorable mention here when I ain't even here kinda indicates that for some, I am omnipresent, doesn't it?

No. It just means that you should be here more. Someone give him a monkeyhat.

smash_and_shatter

How bout "Origami Atrocity"?
dogear_and_disfigure
crumple_and_holepunch
spindle_and_tear

~chuckle~

But have no doubt. Though my exterior be folded, paper white....my heart is pure black.

Ta for now.

~bigwink~

Though my exterior be folded, paper white....my heart is pure black.

f&m is writing Smiths songs!

that was exciting. when did you ever call me, cc? that was timmy, wasn't it? timmy mccormick, where are you?

(i'm really into google-bombing old boyfriends these days)

Ta for now.

No wait! Come back!

::fantasizes about being clarice to f_and_m's hannibal, only without Jodie Foster's ambiguous sexuality and Julianne Moore's freakishly large face::

That wasn't fold_and_mutilate, you dupes! That was jpoulos in liberal drag! I mean, c'mon! Wake up. Where's jp been all day? I dunno, not here. Ever see them together? Nooooo.

the final evidence: "foldy"'s name had an EMAIL ADDRESS attached! After the thousands of Metatalk rants, bitchfests, spazz-outs and trollbaiting that has gone on over the last year on EXACTLY THAT SUBJECT, do you really think the infamous foldy - provocatuer extraordinaire, silent-but-deadly nightwing, the effing PLATONIC FORM of fifth column sub-rosa machine-gun crypto-troll - is going to trip over here to the Monkey House, plant a few posts, hit on Tizzie and Witchy (that's dead giveaway right there that it's jp!)and in his wake LEAVE HIS EMAIL ADDRESS?

No way, Jose.

Plus EVERYONE knows that, to summon foldy, you have to say his name THREE times.

The Old Ones don't leave Ryleh anytime anyone mentions them in a zippity doo dah reference, they'd be coming up out of the ocean twice a day, for Cthulu's sake.

Oh yeah? Well, how do we know it's not *you*, Fes?

::cue music from The Thing

Well, I had hoped to make it to the motorcycle show at the Javits Center before the NYC MeFi meetup, but that's not going to happen. See you at the bar!

Jeezly cripplefarts, I always miss the fun with my pesky need to sleep and my messed-up timezone.

Can I just mention that I made a big splash at our gathering/wake for my Bali-blown-up buddy in Vancouver by explaining the intricacies of 'squicking' to all and sundry?

This might be a good icebreaker at the meetup.

(Note : a google search for that word, if you dunno what I'm talking about, might make you chunder, just like the men down under.)

It would also tickle me absolutely pink if any monkeys who get particularly drubk at the meetup would raise a drink to the wonderchicken, and declaim 'this squick's for you' or something equally silly. I have a superstition about that sort of thing (the raising a drink part, not the other)...

Please raise a glass of Vodka 'n' Chicken Broth to Stav, and a nice Clamato bevvie for me.

*skips through about 100 posts*

Nothing like a mushroom cloud on a Friday afternoon. You guys are great!

I agree anathema and it goes with an e-mail my brother sent, he is in the military in Germany...

plans have changed ::::: he is coming here in March around the 12th....... if he dont go to war or some shit : the plan stays Talking of our little brother.

Uncle Fes, teh..hee hee

--from Uncle Fes's new bestseller, "Chicken Soup for the Poop-Flinging Soul," coming soon to a remainder box near you

How To Stop A Noisy Fan Belt For Squicking?

If I spary a bit of cold water on the belt the sqicking stops immediatly. What cause a belt to sqick? and how to cure the problem?We have been through a fair bit of bull dust and I have the impression one of the pulley has caked with bull dust, but I can not visually see it.

That is hilarious.

Jeez, I finally turn on the 'puter at home, and find that not only is MeFi still down but all the monkeys are talking 'bout nuclear holocaust and serious stuff like that.

* WHACKS the monkeys upside the head *

Knock it off! It's not over until WE say it's over!

And Fes, that was foldy - it was the same email address he used before. I'd imagine one of our trusty admins could confirm it was the same IP address. The "say his name three times" thing was perfect, though.

Sure hope they're having a good time in EnWye ... oh well, maybe someday we'll all get together.

*rolls out of bed*

what did I miss?

Friday.

Oh, and MetaFilter's back up. Bye-bye, losers.

If you want to call it that.

A dilemna, wrapped in an enigma, wrapped in a waffle cone.
-Bob the Hamster (of the Hamster Republic)

I missed Friday...

again?

Fer feck's sake; I leave town for a day and all hell breaks loose, and NOW yer all gonna have slutburgers and cocktails in NY and tizzie and the secret cabal are going to have some wild Twister/motor oil meet, and I'm here in frickin' cold-ass Colorado wanting to be drinking way more beer than I am.

Sigh.

I raise my beer to you all in your respective zones of sin and sensation.

Posted by: readymade on January 10, 2003 11:13 PM

What did I miss? Friday.

I *heart* the commish.

Me too.

:)

'Tis a privilege to be in Colorado, as my Colorado-native husband reminds me ad nauseum.

whatever.

Can't find the thread so I will put it here. My father received a phone message: my lil brother has made it safely to Kuwait. *Gulp* not the news I really wanted to pass on but your thoughts helped me realize were all in this together, Yuck.

A note about posting images:

We encourage users to post images, especially those hilarous pics of monkeys wearing dresses or programming for Linux. But posting images that reside on someone else's server is considered by many to be bandwidth theft. Our thoughts on the matter, along with some solutions to the problem, can be found here. Thanks.

In an effort to help eliminate spam (and to preserve the sanity of the 9622 Volunteer Simian Spam-Cop Brigade) all threads older than 30 days will now be closed to comments.

Name:


Email Address:


URL:


Comments:

Remember me?