9622.net

This just in: There may have been a sighting in Dublin, at popular Lillies Bordello, "a velour-draped neo-Victorian disco packed with cyber-age lords of the dance."

He's probably at the computer shop screaming at the technician in Portuguese.

At least that is the only excuse I will accept.
*humph*

"Habala hebala hibala hobala! Hubala habala dong_resin habala hibila hebala hobala!" *

* - trans: "What do you mean it is not compatible! My good American friend dong_resin assured me it would be compatible!"

Where's Miguel?

I shouldn't let the cat out of the bag, but you know that show American Idol? Our man Cardoso has dreams he gotta follow...

It is certainly not the mac!

I'm going with:

11. Canasta with the Cheneys in an undisclosed secret location.

Ok, so maybe I don't know Miguel and can't contribute in an in-jokey way, but...

Crash, that pic is so my wallpaper at work now.

*salutes Crash*

It is certainly not the mac!

My thinking is;it is the mac, as in, he is learning how to use. Or enjoying it so that it is taking up his extra time. But not ever using one, maybe I'm wrong...

That's the thing Thom. You don't need to learn how to use the mac. I think he is just lurking, getting an ego boost from all this chit-chat here and in #mefi about where he is.

kidnapped, tortured, deceased and mummified in evan izer's closet. no, not THAT closet...

Maybe he got a taste of real life and got addicted to it?

Real what?

Please, bunny, shatter not my happy illusions.

he hasn't been here either....

I'd like to see what a non-deceased mummy looks like. I'm sure you have pictures quons.

I can't speak for everyone, but "real life" is what sends me scurrying for the dark corner that is 9622.

The computer in this here internet cafe is blocking access to Miguel's site because it contains the term "abused drugs". Is he perhaps drifting in a haze of absinthe and opiates?

Miguel is on a deep cover assignment, propping up some banana republic and urging them to begin Port production.

"No, you fools! The color, it must be Ruby! RUBY! But, in truth, it is I who am at fault. I am filled with joie de vivre at your noble attempts to produce the finest from these lowly grapes."

"Yes, Il Presidente!"

Kaf, you're so right. It's obvious he's now the dictator of some third world nation like, oh, I don't know, Portugal or something.

How dare you!?

What, no one is posting an obit for Maurice Gibb?

I guess we know how deep your love is.

Let's all watch as much of Sgt Pepper's Lonely Heart Club Band as can be reasonably expected of us. I give it five minutes, not counting the Steve Martin part.

*sigh*

Ok, I'll admit it. I've had him tied up in my basement this whole time. I've been forcing him to viddy Clean and Sober over and over again, with those little devices to hold his eyes open and all.

That's the thing Thom. You don't need to learn how to use the mac.

Cool, because I may be buying one soon, too...

Adam, you monster! A Michael Keaton movie?!?

I'm calling Amnesty International.

If Mr. Mom had been around in 1945, we could have saved up Fat Man and Little Boy, preferably for the remaining Bee Gees.

Seriously, that's not a good movie.

Beetlejuice I'll give him. I liked Beetlejuice.

But sometimes, one must be sacrificed to save the many. Or something. I think Mr. Spock said that.

Get the Illinois governor on the phone, and I might commute his sentence to a William Baldwin marathon.

OK, I've been holding back out of good taste, but we're all thinking it:

Ah Ah, Ah Ah, No Longer Alive, No Longer Alive

Ah Ah, Ah Ah, No Longer Aliiiiiive

And FWIW, pre-disco they were actually a pretty good band. "To Love Somebody" was a good enough tune to get covered by Janis Joplin.

So, Godspeed, Barry.

I've been holding back out of good taste

Hello? Hello? Where did you think you were?

"The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, or the one."

--Spock, Star Trek II, The Wrath of Khan.

I admit, I shed a tear or two when he died.

"The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, or the one."

--Spock, Star Trek II, The Wrath of Khan.

As God is my witness, I hope I live to see the day when an American President quotes Spock in the State of the Union.

9622.net: --Spock, Star Trek II, The Wrath of Khan

Godspeed Maurice, I mean. I just ate this Maple Pecan Whip British sweet concoction which may make me lose teeth all by itself. Blame the sugar buzz.

The only way any foreseeable president would quote that would be to call him a pinko.

But I too would like to see a President quote Spock. Or Bobcat Goldthwait.

Godspeed Maurice, I mean. I just ate this Maple Pecan Whip British sweet concoction which may make me lose teeth all by itself. Blame the sugar buzz.

And blame it for not posting too...

Maybe he could say "Live long and prosper" at the end of every press conference? That'd be bitchin'.

Or he could mind-meld with the misunderstood youth of today, like on that one episode with the giant lava-booger-monster.

"The children! The children!"

As God is my witness, I hope I live to see the day when an American President quotes Spock in the State of the Union.

*furiously begins illustrious career as Presidential speech writer*

Hell, I'd vote for Leonard Nimoy. If he'd promise not to write any more :

We are the dreamers
We are the dancers
Life is the music
Love is the song

Or is he Canadian?

Hell, I'd vote for Leonard Nimoy. If he'd promise not to write any more :

We are the dreamers
We are the dancers
Life is the music
Love is the song

Or is he Canadian?

Well, that was eventful.

I'd vote for a Canadian for President. In return for federal subsidizing of the NHL Center Ice package (40 fucking games a week!), of course. And for support of the drunken snowmobile luge in the Olympics.

I wish the Canadians would take over. I, for one, would welcome our new Canadian overlords and hope that an influx of people from north of the border would help to dilute the stagnant and algae-encrusted gene pool.

But hey, that's just me.

I mean, my opinion. Not me that's algae-encrusted.

They can run on the Labatt's: Marginally better than Bud platform.

Way back when there was a skit on SNL called "Amerida," which was a takeoff of "Amerika" -- a TV movie hypothisizing a Russian takeover of the U.S. In the skit, Canada took over the U.S. Phil Hartman played the father of a family that was upset about the changes (his wife asks him: "What are you so upset aboot?"). "I remember when we could write words like 'colour' and 'flavour' without using a 'u.'"

So watch what you wish for, you traitours.

or hypothesizing. whichever you prefer.

But Miguel! Where is Miguel! Why won't anything think of the childr... I mean, Miguel!

One thing I know...

Wherever that brave little Portuguese man is, he'd..he'd want us to go on. To continue to be overly verbose, to make needlessly chatty posts on MeFi, to easily sidestep and perhaps even totally misunderstand our detractors.

Whenever I see someone fill up an entire page with a comment about racy black and white photographs or the subtleties of single-malt Scotch, then I know Miguel hasn't really left us.

You see, we all carry a little Miguel in all of us, be it in our hearts, our lungs, or our livers.

I'm...I'm a little choked up.

*hands kafkaesque a voluminous handkerchief*

**offers kaf a shoulder to cry on**
**not my own shoulder, of course, just a shoulder. One I found, OK. Never mind where. You ask too many questions, you know that...**

You see, we all carry a little Miguel in all of us, be it in our hearts, our lungs, or our livers.

It's not a tumor!

Hey, The Michael The is here!

Get him.

It's probably a fake one. Just like the fake Hannibal.

Hannibal is no fake!

I solemnly swear not to post pictures of my cat anymore. Unless I really really want to.

Please tell me that cat can hold things on its head.

I'm very glad you specified exactly where Miguel resided in each of us.

Very glad.

Yeah, it's really me (ducks jpoulos and runs screaming).

I think he's in my pants...

Please tell me that cat can hold things on its head.

If he doesn't, I'm pretty sure The Michael The can.

You betcha.

The question is-did Miguel ever exist in the first place, or is he a product of our poor deluded imaginations-like invisible fairies?

Looks like someone's losing some molars tonight.

I'll knock out the rest of his teeth, the doubter.

Too much beer.

Yes, Virginia, there is a Miguel. He exists as certainly as cult authors, and beguiling posts and fine cigars exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy.

So we lost a Miguel and gained a The Michael The. It's just the cycle of life, people.

I found Migs. He's driving a snowplow in Connecticut using a very poorly thought-out alias.

Welcome, MichaelTheMichael.

Hey! This is fun!

Hey! it's The Michael Tacos. I dug the fact that riffola stuck the reference* in this pic. People that don't drink sure have good, um, whatever you call those things.

*twas an #mefi thing.

That's such a bad picture of me, though...

Maybe, Mig gave up posting for a New Years resolution.....he just lurks...Hi Mig !!!/

We'll just have to call him The Miguel The.

El Miguel El?

or is it

Il Miguel Il?

Miguel Randel-El, superstar multi-position player?

Miguel Randel-El, superstar multi-position player?

Uh oh. Strange things are afoot.

I think it's actually Migu-El, from the planet Krypton.

Call to photoshoppers: Miguel on a milk carton!

The Who are having a bad year.

Miguel on Rye with mayonaisse and a bag of corn chips!

Miguel on Rye with mayonaisse and a bag of corn chips!

I thought so.

From adam's article:

(Jerry Hall) "Peter Townshend is the least likely profile of a child abuser it is possible to construct and that is because he isn't one,"

I try really hard not to make fun of models, especially when they try to use big and complicated words, but damn if they don't make it easy.

Ha!

Maybe we need one of those "age-advanced by computer" pictures.

Miguel! Wake UP!

Do you ever get tired of googling drunk people, ColdChef?

I didn't think so.

Miguel?

Where's Miguel?

i forgot and worked all day today!

i think it's spelled miggettymiggettymigs

Do you ever get tired of googling drunk people, ColdChef?

No, because thanks to my googling for "passed out drunk" I've found this whole new perversion subculture. (not even REMOTELY safe for work, home or whathaveyou)

Or this:
Bachelorette Party Practical Jokes:

6)        Early Wake Up Calls- Nobody likes early morning wake up calls after a night of partying, which is why this is perfect [joke] for the girls staying in other hotel rooms.  Just make sure they don’t know it is you!

7)        Make ‘Em Change Colors While Sleeping- The great thing about Cool-Aid [sic] is when you place it in its powder form on a drunk girl’s bed before she is about to pass out, she will wake up either red (cherry flavor) or purple (grape flavor) since the powder soaks into the pours [sic] and temporarily colors the skin for the morning

11)    Suds for All- Nothing is like a toilet bubble bath.  Place a generous amount of detergent in the back of the toilet (tub).  After a few flushes, you are surly [sic] to witness something out of the Brady Bunch when Bobby placed too much suds in the washing machine. You can purchase our Bubble Bath, which works out well for this occasion!

One more:

3)       Hire A Female Stripper- For Bachelorettes who are not gay, a female stripper is a good way to embarrass the Bachelorette and cause great laughter.

"For Bachelorettes who are not gay, a female stripper is a good way to embarrass the Bachelorette and cause great laughter."

Or better yet, it may cause some hot girl-on-girl action.

Lord knows there ain't enough of that.

27) Cut a chicken's throat and hold the bird upside-down over the sure-to-be-surprised Bride-to-Be! Lots of laughs for partygoers and sure embarassment for the Bride-to-Be as the chicken's death throes soak her with steaming ichor!

mmm...chicken...

33) Sell the Bachelorette into White Slavery. Can you imagine the fun as her future Hubby tries to buy her freedom from a toothless man named Earl?

the chicken's death throes soak her with steaming ichor!

You're making me feel all funny.

No wonder I had a dream last night in which an ape who had just realized how to stand upright, and was doing so just outside my bay window, majestically, about to deliver a speech I'm certain was written by Abraham Lincoln (don't ask me how I knew this) for some reason, was suddenly set upon and rather horrifically torn to pieces by a pair of leopards. He was deaf to our shouted warnings through the thick, thick glass of their approach.

you people are sick. and I love you. every single one.

Stav, did this ape look anything like Miguel?

I almost posted a referance to adam's chicken, involving strav...I see no need...now...and I wondered how long it would take for strav to appear...4 minutes

stavo..

Jeez I hope Miguel hasn't been torn to pieces by leopards.

I think Miguel could hold his own against a couple of leopards.

He could hold them at bay with his new lamp computer.

A cardoso is like a leopard
except he's no threat to a shepherd
should you behold cardoso's couch
prepare to say yeowch
because, if cornered by cardoso
amoroso!

Miguel Miguel burning bright,
Lost in Portugal at night,
What immortal scotch or stogie,
Could frame thy fearful symmetry?

Okay, two things:

1. I want that lil'blue smiling bumper car from that "Where's Waldo" picture above. It's cute. It could be my special friend. I want one!

2. Same picture, different thing: what's with the naked guy on the pogo stick?

what's with the naked guy on the pogo stick?

Sounds like somebody finally found Miguel!

Not just a naked guy, but a naked clown.

The horror.

That clown's not naked, he's just been skinned.

9622.net: what's with the naked guy on the pogo stick?

clowns are scary. when they're skinning chickens.

*clutches head, runs screaming from thread*

Google translation:

"viciante than crack" - metafilter.com
It is the slogan of a small farm in web, constructed for an American trintão, without fixed work, that lodged the site in a computer offered for the father and it bound it to the InterNet for a line supplied for one its friend. To the departure, it can seem that if it deals with a site drug, but has had a certain success enters some elite of the Net. One is about a space where any person can place one link that she finds interesting, informative, polémico, etc., joining to it a small description, and from initiating an open quarrel to all there the users. The site is fed entirely by the proper community, with its suggestions of addresses and, as it could not leave of being, the Portuguese presence also note. Among others, the texts of the writer are distinguished Miguel Esteves Cardoso, a interventivo user, with its links and commentaries. It is now to the reach of the fans to change some lines of text and to appreciate the writing of the MEC - informally and with the quality of the custom - in the site MetaFilter.

Seems to me back in the summer of '73, we had a little hullabaloo with a clown skinnin' chickens. 'Course, he lived down in the Derry Sewers.

He thrusts his fists against the posts and still insists he sees the ghosts

He may not be a great writer, but stuff like that sticks in yer head, it does.

We all float down here, Kafkaesque...

Something smells funny...

And didn't those kids all end up humping at the end? What was up with that?

Something smells funny...

Stav, did you bring the Kim Chee again?

My comment about smelling something was meant to refer to the sewers, but now that I've seen this post , I know what stinks.

Sorry to cross talk, but that's just wrong.

eh?

Trackback Stinks?

Wasn't that a Bauhaus song?

I did that wrong. Anyway, it's the racist post with links to the meet-up photos.

Yeah, I thought that was little more than a troll, m'self.

Then again, I must admit that I do prefer my own company. I don't mean the company of my own race, I literally mean my own company. There's nothing better than curling up on the couch for a nice evening with myself, a bottle of Astro-Glide, and pay-per-view on the satellite dish.

You don't tie yourself up first, do you?

They sell Astro-Glide in Utah?

"They sell Astro-Glide in Utah?"

Nope, you have to smuggle it in.

The method of smuggling is left as an exercise for the reader.

Astro-Glide. You sure do splurge on yourself. heh.

I thought Astro Glide was a sports drink. Oh dear.

Okay, I had to google. That's some expensive lubricant.

On the other hand, you can still get free samples!

And didn't those kids all end up humping at the end? What was up with that?

Whaddaya mean, kaf? That's how all the adventures of my youth ended. Which is probably because all of my freinds were imaginary.

Those imaginary chicks are easy dude..

Why did you decide to try Astroglide®?
Intimate Activity
Vaginal Dryness
Both

Crash, poor dear, Vaginal Dryness?

You have no idea. It's like the Sahara.

You've got camels in there?

Plus he's got that "not so fresh feeling"...

No wait that's me...and it's not a feeling...it's more of an ..odor...never mind

No, I meant The Sahara. Sorry for the confusion.

Ah, so you've got slots in there.

No, it's very smoky and noisy and the rug is hideous.

What about the complimentary buffet?

*threadnotsafeforebunnyfire*

LOL

Astroglide's expensive, but it lasts forever if you are single and haven't been laid since before the White Stripes got really big.

It's also a favorite hangout for old ladies with buckets of nickels.

9622:if you are single and haven't been laid since before the White Stripes got really big.

Who are the White Stripes again?

Astroglide's expensive, but it lasts forever

Who needs it to last forever? All I need is six minutes.

Then I need a nap, a roast beef sandwich, a 12 ounce glass of gatorade, and another six minutes.

I got $5 that says Migs is holding court somewhere in Lisbon with a glass of port and a busted modem, wowing the ladies with his literati tales and keeping their menfolk in line with the occasional skunkeye.

Oh yeah, Miguel.

What ever happened to him, you think?

Maybe we should put up a signal of some kind.

*opens another beer, waits*

I had a dream last night. It involved pancakes. Tonight I'll probably have a dream about Miguel giving me the skunk eye. Sigh.

All I need is six minutes.
Then I need a nap, a roast beef sandwich, a 12 ounce glass of gatorade, and another six minutes.

Succinct and pithy insight into the lifecycle of the human male in his native habitat.

Jim, bring me the elephant gun.

It's a good lifestyle, tizzie, if you're actually looking to be hunted down and shot.

Many human males I know would often like nothing better.

Well, okay, I speak for myself.

I wish Matt would wake up and fix Metafilter.

tagline!

9622.net: It is the slogan of a small farm in web, constructed for an American trintão, without fixed work, that lodged the site in a computer offered for the father and it bound it to the InterNet for a line supplied for one its friend. To the departure, it can seem that if it deals with a site drug, but has had a certain success enters some elite of the Net. One is about a space where any person can place one link that she finds interesting, informative, polémico, etc., joining to it a small description, and from initiating an open quarrel to all there the users. The site is fed entirely by the proper community, with its suggestions of addresses and, as it could not leave of being, the Portuguese presence also note. Among others, the texts of the writer are distinguished Miguel Esteves Cardoso, a interventivo user, with its links and commentaries. It is now to the reach of the fans to change some lines of text and to appreciate the writing of the MEC - informally and with the quality of the custom - in the site 9622.

Translation:

9622: A small farm that loves MEC.

I wish matt would fix MeFi too, maybe I can find out who this Jann person is. If history is any indicator, it's a guy.

I'm a homo magnet. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Some elite of the Net ... the Portuguese presence also note.

Come back, Miguel, we note!
xoxo,
Some Elite Monkeys

Looks like you have a highly educated stalker, jon.
Or it's actually Jan Wenner mistyping his name and he courting you for a job.

We didn't get penetration even with the elephant gun!

Truly, one of my favorite Reba McEntire quotes ever. Actually, that's probably the only quote I know.

jon, judging by this it's probably a girl (based on "her" reference to "misogynist punks" and "stupid indie boys"). It looks like her MeFi number is 15802, although there's no google cache for her member page.

Spiffy. I got groupies.

Let's not get carried away. You have one groupy.

A groupette.

A grouper.

or a stalker...

Which (it would follow) would make you a bass player, jon.

(Bass? Geddit? Bass? Is this thing on?)

A bit more sleuthing has revealed that Jannon is, in fact, a 21-year-old shemale who goes by the name of Jannon Sonia Stein. Unfortunately for jon, she claims to have "a sexy intelligent boyfriend" (is there any other kind?)

Her page is here, and personal info is here.

hmmm, that "shemale" thing looks bad. She's a "she" and a "female" (as far as i know). just thought i'd clear that up.

work? what work?

I'm gonna need a roadie...

This poor girl is probably gonna stumble in here and read this, and need therapy.

If you do, I'm honestly flattered and this is just good-natured BS okay...

Now back to talking about what a stud I am...

"a sexy intelligent boyfriend" (is there any other kind?)

Well, yes, there's the "very handsome and have good taste in t-shirts and radio stations" kind.

Stud, heh.

Reba McEntire has no upper lip.

Like, she's freakish.

Now that I have pointed this out to you, you will never look at a photo of her without noticing her disturbing deformity.

And she's very enamored of photos of herself. My brother went to her concert (yes, I have brothers who like country music, and I myself went to a Dwight Yoakam concert, but that's a different thing entirely, I mean, it's Dwight for fuck's sake!) and apparently she had programs at the concert and they were all filled with pictures of her-but, I guess that's what some people want oh yeah, and she changed costumes about 18 times, which I thought was odd because who does she think she is, Madonna or something, but really it all fits in with the country diva sort of thing, in the long run, I would guess.

*gasps for breath*

She's, like, the annoying-little-sister of country divas. She's Tootie to Shania's Blair.

Also, I just noticed, underneath those bangs her forehead is very very TALL.

True. She's so vain, I'd bet she thinks this thread is about her.

It's a shame, too. Of all the Country Nouveau Shite that's come down the sludge pipe the last decade or so, I always thought of her as one of the talented ones. Bummer.

Also, she has tons of lip compared to some people I could mention.

(
)

But she's funny in Tremors!

She has the bangs to cover up her freakin' huge forehead. Whereas Luke Perry just wrinkles it to hide the fact that his forehead takes up half of his face.

fine, defend her!

Jannon was named after a neuroscientist. That brings back bad memories.

Where did you get the "shemale" thing, p-me?

True, Reba was good in Tremors. But would you see another movie she was acting in? Even if it was a Kevin Bacon-starred movie? Really. It was a fluke. A cool fluke, but a fluke.

perhaps even a cool hand fluke...

Where did you get the "shemale" thing, p-me?

I think I was trying to be witty and creative, but (as usual), failed miserably. It wasn't until I re-read my post that I remembered "shemale" has its own, um, meaning, and that I had inadvertantly slandered this person I don't know. So I tried to quickly correct it. The correction may not have been clear enough, so let me try again: I believe Jannon to be a female. I do not believe her to have any male parts whatsoever, and didn't mean to imply otherwise.

Any further inquiries should be directed to my attorneys.

But coming from a trannie such as yourself, who could think you were being insulting?

Does "shemale" have some other meaning? Sorry for belaboring this, I'm just curious. And I don't know squat about Reba. Patty Griffin on the other hand.....and Wanda Jackson

But coming from a trannie such as yourself, who could think you were being insulting?

Yes, but my self-hate sometimes causes me to lash out at my fellow transgendered folk.

*wonders how witchstone discovered my deepest secret*

Does "shemale" have some other meaning?

I'm not sure -- probably not. What I was going for was a combination of "she" and "female," not "she" and "male." "She" sounds like "fe." Since this whole thing started with a gender identification question, I was just trying to emphasize the fact that she was female. But I made an unintentional goof.

I think I need some time off from the internet.

Sorry to be so late to the conversation, but I second Astro Glide as the product of the millenium.

If only for the name. And their cool Website.

A shemale usually means a transvestite or a transgendered person.

Post, dammit.

And jonmc, if you were worried about jannon coming across this page before, I wonder what she'll think when she reads the extensive discussion about whether she's a transvestite.

It's OK. She's at Princeton. She'll write a thesis on Transgender Obsessed Online Dysphoria Syndrome or some such foolishness...

Do they still make Probe? I remember it being even more, um, viscous than Astro-Glide.

Thick Rich Classic or Silky Light

and the technical side of lubrication.

Is there a shot called Astroglide?

There should be if there isn't.

Those big bottles with the pumps...are they the *ahem* industrial size..for, professionals?

Yes, why do you ask, jon?

Can we buy them in bulk for the next MeFiNYC?

Please contact me. I happen to be a distributor.

anathema, neither Probe nor Astroglide (the venerable granddaddy of lubes) can compare to Slippery Stuff, which is more versatile and multi-hole friendly.

(Now quit squirming.)

I'm not only the president, I'm a client.

9622:multi-hole friendly

Now there's a e-business bonanza waiting to happen. Pimps and Ho's supplies online. Order lube by the keg, foil wrapped condoms in wheels like old-fashioned carnival tickets...it's a winner.

**quits squirming**

Hey, that sounds like my apartment!

**slaps self**

Slippery Stuff contains no glycerin so it doesnít get sticky and is less viscous than Probe or Astroglide.

So viscosity is bad? I guess I don't actually know what viscosity is.

great for anal as well as vaginal lubrication. No smell or taste.

Well, what fun is that?

9622.net: Pregnant titgrabbers fighting back!

I just saw this on the front page @ the top left side, cool. These are the taglines of the site? My apoligies if I'm lamo coming late to this party.

Maybe mig is waiting to appear then...when he sees his beaconing tagline...

Look, you guys want viscosity, you guys want smell and taste, go back to Astroglide. Go back to your grandma's lube.

::snaps glove::

Quit squirming.

I'm pretty sure I love cowboy_sally.

I know I like my multi-hole lube to taste and smell like gibblet gravy.

Heh. I actually loved her for her "multi-hole" comment. I love her even more for snapping the glove.

Take my word, Britt. It does.

(zod, i'm cheeky this week.)

Well, she's just snapping the glove, lupo, I'm the one wearing it.

Now really, quit squirming.

people with no upper lip and really big foreheads are people too, you know.

Well, if flavor and ass is what you long for...

Hey J-Po, next time you decide to drive to New York to hang out with monkeys, please call me. It only takes me about 30 minutes to get to Lowell.

but, speaking of lube. you really want to go to your nearest veterinary supply store, there's a product that comes in a white tub with a picture of a cow on it. it's a powder, but don't let that freak you out.

more versatile and multi-hole friendly.

be that as it may, I once burned through an entire box of q-tips trying to get that shit out of my ear.

YMMV, of course.

I actually took the train, but yeah I'll definitely call you, and the commish as well.

YMMV?

Powdered lube? Oh. Oh dear.

By god.
That Reba McEntire has no upper lip.






*shudders*

You're scaring me, goneill, and that's not easy to do.

"So viscosity is bad? I guess I don't actually know what viscosity is."

That's amusing to me, 'cause I call my blog Total Viscosity Breakdown.

Viscosity is the measure of a liquid's thickness and resistance to flow. Higher viscosity = thicker and flows less. Remember the TV commercials for Mobil 1 oil where they'd try to pour motor oil out of a bottle that had been chilling in a block of ice for 24 hours, and it was really thick? That's viscosity in action.

but, speaking of lube...

HAWHAW!! HAW!! HAW!!

*slaps knee*

it's the kind my dad uses.

guys?

I'm pretty sure I love cowboy_sally.

Very well. I'll ease the restraints a bit.

Hey goneill, I think I know where I can get some of that industrial vet-grade lube. Meet me in the park.

it's the kind my dad uses.

Oh, I wish I had said that.

Go back to your grandma's lube.

*resumes squirming*

**looks across desk**

Oh, Golly. Lisa packed Hostess Cup Cakes in my lunch!!

**looks around**

Oh no, you guys are gonna beat me up and take my lunch aren't you?

goneill, Please tell me your dad is a vet.

Don't read the following, I just have to write it because I have trouble lying:

(my dad is a large-animal veterinarian - so this isn't really gross at all.)

Enough of this...we're trying to find Miguel, remember?

My poor dear evil twin...out there lost and wandering...is it time to put his mug on a milk carton yet?

She packs your lunch for you, Jon?

Oh, that's right. You're not married.

so... yeah - i'm a total pervert!

Very well. I'll ease the restraints a bit.

Now I know I love cowboy_sally.

Milk carton? Pehaps a better place would be on a fifth of gin, b***y.

Milk carton? Pehaps a better place would be on a fifth of gin, b***y.

Oh, balls.

i like it better with the 'oh balls'

Oh dear. I'm starting to get visions of all the participants here dressed in bondage gear..and it's not a pretty picture.

"Oh, balls" is the new "post, dammit".

which makes jonmc the new witchstone.

which, i'm pretty sure, is referenced in the book of revelation.

which makes jonmc the new witchstone.

Hmmm...will Dannon like you better when you're going around licking people?

I know I would.

Oops, make that "Jannon."

me and my friggin' yogurt fetish...

Oops, make that "Jannon."

me and my friggin' yogurt fetish...

Oh, balls.

which makes jonmc the new witchstone

except, I should never wear anything spandex, clingy or low cut...

Stalker #2

You're not supposed to see that until after Witchy and I have a drink together tomorrow nite. While wearing bondage gear, of course. At the airport.

Reason #38 why Sheryl Crow should only use her voice for singing:

"I think war is based in greed and there are huge karmic retributions that will follow. I think war is never the answer to solving any problems. The best way to solve problems is to not have enemies."

stalker #2?

While wearing bondage gear, of course.

Without panties, iirc?

Hmmm...will Dannon like you better when you're going around licking people?

I know I would.

Please say yes to pardon me.

you guys are just nasty. I don't think I am going to hang out at this website anymore. i like you all and I enjoyed the witty repartee, but it isn't worth picking thru all the "adult material". I had enough of that crap 22 years ago.
When Miguel comes back tell him goodbye for me.

Someone said, when I first came to the site, that they couldn't figure out why I was here. At this point I am wondering the same thing. I always feel like I have to take a bath after reading some of this crap. It is true that no one is holding a gun to my head-and I guess I just realised this is just not a good place for me to be.

I will never forget how kind to me all of you have been, and I do take away that memory. I wish you all well.

I feel bad now.

Oh Dear.

Man!

Wouldn't it be dirtier without the lube?

9622: You guys are just nasty.

Let me get this straight: that Miguel, he vibrates?

I, for one, welcome our new Miguel-free overlords.

b****fire: Oh, balls. :(

You have violated the unwritten rules of 9622, namely:

Citing tired MeFi jokes.

Repetition will result in your total and complete banishment from the garden.

Everybody clap your hands if you believe in bunnyfire. Or something.

Or at least sadistic and unrelenting mental anguish.

Ha, god tried that bit, and look what happened! We're kings of the world!

And metrocake started it.

SadCake!

: looks piteous :

B-b-b-but I just got here...

Or at least sadistic and unrelenting mental anguish.

again.

*Calls the Nephilim*

: bites Kafka on the ankle in lieu of sarcastic yet pithy reply :

Sigh. Anyone wanna play a game?

Stop it. I'm getting excited.

Bite thee not mine ankle. For when thou bite of my ankle, surely you bite every ankle.

And that's probably more ankles than you really wanted to bite.

What. The Fuck. Ever.

NASTY! nasty posts ... don't mean a thing

*bites Lupo's ankle*

Bite or smite? Decisions, decisions...

So, as far as I can tell, Miguel was last seen working in an Industrial Cow Lube Factory.

Is that right?

There once was a puppy with bite
Who gave both his owners a fright
He nibbled their ankles
Those small teeth, they rankled
Now the small puppy's left out at night!

And John is being stalked by Fruit-at-the-Bottom yoghurt?

There once was a puppy with bite
Who gave both his owners a fright
He nibbled their ankles
Those small teeth, they rankled
Now the small puppy's left out at night!

Sigh. Anyone wanna play a game?

Sure, let's see what we can make TMT stand for...

Tasteless Masturbatory Threads
Tasty Manatee Tenderloins
Throbbing Monkey Teats

...

And I'm double-posting, damnit.

Smite me! :/

Ufez; Tubular Manly Testicles.

I don't think I am going to hang out at this website anymore. i like you all and I enjoyed the witty repartee, but it isn't worth picking thru all the "adult material".

As foretold by prophecy.

The puppy turned quickly to crime
Selling dope for a nickel and dime
That pup would turn tricks
for the price of a fix
*Last line deleted in the name of decency*

Or, for us anxious wimmen, "Terribly Meaningful Talks."

mmmmmmm... manatee tenderloins...

Tasty Meat Tubers

Tyler Mary Tyler?

Terrible Macaque Tentacles

Storybook ending:
"Now he plays in the sun all the time."

:)

for pervs: Toot Mah Tittiez...

Everybody clap your hands if you believe in bunnyfire. Or something.

Make It Clap, Busta Rhymes Featuring Spliff Star