Just in case anyone feels that things are getting a little too vulgar or, you know, sick, here's a happy little thread with ducklings in it just for you.
Just look at the duckies! They're so cute!
Posted by kafkaesque at January 21, 2003 07:57 PMDucklings are perversity personified and you know it, kaf.
Posted by: readymade on January 21, 2003 08:02 PMCome on, man, my first stuffed toy was a duckie, and Duckie and I were inseparable for years (unless you count the one night he fell into the toilet.)
Posted by: b****fire on January 21, 2003 08:09 PM
I loves me some baby ducks, too.Haha!
**Pulls back bow**
Posted by: Ted Nugent on January 21, 2003 09:08 PMI loves me some baby ducks, too.HAhahahahah!
**pulls out bowie knife**
Posted by: Amy on January 21, 2003 09:12 PM"Serve well chilled for casual entertaining. Great around summer barbecue, picnics or at the cottage. Enjoy on hot summer days as a cooler. As a base for fizzy fruit spritzers. Serve with strawberries or blueberry desserts."
Posted by: ashbury on January 21, 2003 10:16 PMAwwwww.
Here, you will find no sarcastic, ironic, or humorous jape, jab, jest or joke from me, nor a pithy yet poignant summation or dismissal, neither still a world-weary and knowing sigh.
Those are, however, cute ducks.
Thanks!
Posted by: yhbc on January 21, 2003 10:25 PMI must EAT THE DUCKIIIIIEEEESSSS!!!!!
Raar! :D
Posted by: roe/metrocake on January 21, 2003 10:39 PMI personally hate ducks.
and rabbits.
I gotta go cuz I got me a drop top
And I can flip the switch and make the ass drop
Are those duckies in a wagon?
I'm reminded of a tumbrel:
"Tis a far, far better thing that I do than I have ever done." *quack*
"Tis a far, far better rest I go to than I have ever known." *quack*
That's right, it's A Tail of Two Cygnets, by Charles Duckens.
Posted by: Crash on January 22, 2003 12:08 AMNo barking from the dogs, no smog
And mama cooked the breakfast with no hog ...
~flees back to metafilter, cheeks filling with barf~
Posted by: dong_resin on January 22, 2003 12:56 AMIn other happy ducklings and rainbows news, I've been shortlisted for a bloggie.
I'm not sure how I feel about it, actually, but I will of course buy you all Malt Liquor if you vote for me me me. Can't hurt, right?
Posted by: stavrosthewonderchicken on January 22, 2003 01:30 AMOK, I voted for you.
Send my malt liquor to:
Crash Davis
c/o The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints
Temple Square
Salt Lake City, Utah
84180
Also be sure to mark the outside "HANDLE ONLY WHILE WEARING YOUR JESUS JAMMIES, EVIL SPIRITS INSIDE".
Posted by: Crash on January 22, 2003 01:55 AMYou all know that no-one can nominate 9622 for anything. Because if they hear about it, they will come, and when they come I will be confused, and when I'm confused, all hell breaks loose.
No No No No No No No.
Even though I'm of the opinion that we deserve the best of the best awards.
Posted by: readymade on January 22, 2003 03:49 AMHad to stop at a red light,
Lookin in my mirror and not a jacker in sight
No No No No No No No.
That's not happy fuzzy duckling-y!
I personally hate ducks.
Neither is that!
and rabbits.
*cries*
What about...sniff...chickens?
MOM! The guys are being mean and weird again!
See y'all! We're going snowboarding for a few days! Don't forget to feed Humbert Humbert and Lolita!
Posted by: adampsyche on January 22, 2003 08:53 AMLolita's got to be the one on the right, right?
Posted by: stavrosthewonderchicken on January 22, 2003 09:25 AMJesus H.! I am sponsoring a prize for which Metafilter is nominated! Help me think of something good.
Posted by: whatnot on January 22, 2003 10:14 AMbtw, the category is "best programming of a weblog site" or something like that.
Posted by: whatnot on January 22, 2003 10:15 AMthank gawd Adam left 'em the remote, so they can watch kitty porn.
Posted by: tizzie on January 22, 2003 10:18 AMHow does that saying go? "Every time a kitten masturbates, God kills..."
Something like that. Well, now that Adam's off, I guess we'll find out.
Posted by: Chico on January 22, 2003 11:33 AMThey're just so happy!
Look at them duckies!
Hoo!
Posted by: kafkaesque on January 22, 2003 11:46 AMHad to stop at a red light,cheeks filling with barf~thank gawd Adam left Jesus H.!Are those duckies in a wagon?No No No No No No No.rabbits.
Lookin in my mirror and not a jacker in sight 'em the remote, so they can watch kitty porn. WHILE WEARING YOUR JESUS JAMMIES,Help me think of something good.to mark the outside "HANDLE ONLY EVIL SPIRITS INSIDE".for which Metafilter is nominated! "Every time a kitten masturbates, God kills..."
I prefer the duckbilled platypus. Why doesn't anyone ever use the platypus as the "cute thing that we coo over"?
Why God? Why today?
*cue orchestra*
I'm all through here, on my way
There's nothing left here that I'll miss
Why send me now a night like this?
Who is the girl in this rusty bed?
Why am I back in a filthy room?
Why is her voice ringing in my head?
Why am I high on her cheap perfume?
I'd rather marry a duckbilled platypus than end up like poor old Oedipus Rex....
As long as we're on the subject of muical billed beasts...here's the most important duck in musical history...and the Triumphs and their somewhat baffling retort to "Walking The Dog"....
Posted by: jonmc on January 22, 2003 12:12 PM"Jesus H.! I am sponsoring a prize for which Metafilter is nominated! Help me think of something good."
Oh, it so ought to be one of these.
And some of this.
Posted by: Crash on January 22, 2003 12:13 PMhere's the most important duck in musical history...
I find it amusing that a single blog can not contain all the useless rock-n-roll trivia and odes to junk food that jonmc can produce. :-)
Posted by: jpoulos on January 22, 2003 12:17 PMOH MY GOD. SOMEONE GAVE HIM A BLOG. BOW DOWN BEFORE HIM.
Posted by: eyeballkid's shame on January 22, 2003 12:52 PMBOW DOWN BEFORE HIM.
Yeah, right. Like I'm gonna get on my knees in front of dong_resin. zod only knows what might happen.
Posted by: jpoulos on January 22, 2003 12:57 PMFunny thing just happened, btw. I just added dongster's site to my blog roll and then, seconds later, blogrolling.com went down.
Interesting.
Posted by: eyeballkid on January 22, 2003 01:00 PMWell, play with fire, pay with server crashes and downtime.
At least, that's what my great-grandpappy always said.
Posted by: Chico on January 22, 2003 01:04 PMAnd lo! It was written in ancient prophecy that a man would come, bearing the name of a wee-wee, and with him would come the weeping of servers, not to mention the weeping of sores.
Posted by: kafkaesque on January 22, 2003 01:07 PMDidn't Nick Cave write a song about Weeping Sores?
Posted by: eyeballkid on January 22, 2003 01:08 PMThis is the weeping sore
A sore in which to weep
While the ducklings
Quack and cheep.
In a way, aren't all songs about weeping sores?
Well, aren't they?
Posted by: jpoulos on January 22, 2003 01:11 PMCrash, the test I saw on the: The World's First Spatula-Free Pancake Maker, it worked as in sucko-matic. The testers were two young girls on the local news, so who knows may be an absence in cooking as this was Dallas.
But your blog it reminds me of this incindent with KROQ in LA.
Posted by: Thomcatspike on January 22, 2003 01:13 PMNow, just wait a minute here. Don't go poisoning this nice, happy ducky thread with all this talk of weeping sores. Unless they're weeping ducksores. then, feel free.
Posted by: kafkaesque on January 22, 2003 01:14 PMI'm pretty sure that Christina Aguilera's song "Dirty" (and the attached video) cause weeping sores.
Posted by: eyeballkid on January 22, 2003 01:17 PMDaily Lunch update:
Along with my sandwich Archway Iced Molasses (for which many selfless moles gave their asses) cookies, Jalapeno Cheese Nips, and Tang, I am also eating Maruchan Instant Lunch, Chicken flavor, in honor of Stavros over in the Orient, whom I of course voted for in the bloggies.
Posted by: jonmc on January 22, 2003 01:18 PM
Why doesn't everyone just go ahead and tell us everything they're eating?
Posted by: kafkaesque on January 22, 2003 01:23 PMWhy doesn't everyone just go ahead and tell us everything they're eating?
Sack lint. I'll let you figure that out.
Posted by: eyeballkid on January 22, 2003 01:27 PMI'm pretty sure that Christina Aguilera's song "Dirty" (and the attached video) cause weeping sores.
But you have to admit, the assless chaps are bitchin'. Not so sure about the "there be treasure here, matey" X-marked panties though...
The ducks do not appreciate this sort of dirty talk.
Posted by: kafkaesque on January 22, 2003 01:30 PMWhy doesn't everyone just go ahead and tell us everything they're eating?
Duck a l'orange.
Well, in the interest of total disclosure, I should say that the one on the right, Harold, in fact kind of likes that sort of thing.
Posted by: kafkaesque on January 22, 2003 01:41 PMOf course, I meant that Harold likes Dirty Talk and not Duck a l'Orange, because that would be wrong.
Posted by: kafkaesque on January 22, 2003 01:42 PMLike some kind of sick baby-duck-cannibalism-fest.
Posted by: kafkaesque on January 22, 2003 01:43 PMI should also mention that I didn't intend for this thread to bring anybody down, eider.
I slay me.
Posted by: kafkaesque on January 22, 2003 01:47 PMDude. Seriously. What the hell are you talking about?
Posted by: witchstone on January 22, 2003 01:54 PM*peeks head in*
Just here to say I miss you all, but that right now I am working on securing myself some freelance work for The Nashville Scene. Don't wanna jinx shit, but things are looking good.
Go me! And go Stav! (You got my vote, dear.)
Posted by: britney on January 22, 2003 01:57 PM*peeks head in*
Just here to say I miss you all, but that right now I am working on securing myself some freelance work for The Nashville Scene. Don't wanna jinx shit, but things are looking good.
Go me! And go Stav! (You got my vote, dear.)
(post, slut)
Posted by: britney on January 22, 2003 01:57 PMDude. Seriously. What the hell are you talking about?
(Thom looks sheepishly down at his feet)
Why doesn't everyone just go ahead and tell us everything they're eating?
( shouts)Nooo Not Ping! quack OO
Would you believe I've never actually eaten duck? I've eaten buffalo, conch, rabbitt and alligator and I've drunk Cold Duck but I've never noshed anything with a bill on it.
Posted by: jonmc on January 22, 2003 02:39 PMObviously Britney Spears has posted in this thread pretending to be our Brittney.
Well, now what? I recommend counseling.
Posted by: witchstone on January 22, 2003 03:54 PMI desperately need one of those monitor mirrors. People are sneaking up on me and ruining my goofing off, and it's getting on my last nerve.
Posted by: tizzie on January 22, 2003 04:24 PM(Just let it be noted that I was doing a different version of post, dammit and not really talking about what I was eating) (or drinking)
Posted by: witchstone on January 22, 2003 04:34 PMI've never noshed anything with a bill on it.
Ok, that's how you do, affording all that food you snack.
Posted by: Thomcatspike on January 22, 2003 04:35 PMI had two Spicy-Hot McChicken sandwiches, a Value-SizeŠ french fries, and two cans of Coca-Cola ClassicTM.
Tonight I plan to poop like there's no tomorrow.
Posted by: Crash on January 22, 2003 04:49 PMI know people that call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat or a prostitute
Just noticed this tagline. It's fantastic, I love it. Who wrote it?
Posted by: witchstone on January 22, 2003 04:52 PMI was going to say your momma, but I was afraid I'd get hit.
Posted by: eyeballfish on January 22, 2003 05:26 PMIt's true. The back of my neck does look like a pack of weiners.
Posted by: eyeball kid's momma on January 22, 2003 05:34 PMi've never said anything that anyone ever went
9622:blah blah blah.
i'm a loser.
Posted by: goneill on January 22, 2003 05:39 PM9622: blah blah blah i'm a loser.
You're one up on me, now, there.
Posted by: Chico on January 22, 2003 05:52 PM9622: blah blah blah i'm a loser.
You're one up on me, now, there.
Posted by: Chico on January 22, 2003 05:52 PMcan we calm down with the oneupsmanship? this is not posting as a competitive sport.
sheesh.
Posted by: eyeballkid getting all one upped and some junk on January 22, 2003 05:58 PMDamn! Chico beat me to the punch.
In other news, this painting smiles down on us from the living room wall, for all of those duck-billed platypus fans out there (I know there are many). My stepfather, who was a very, very strange man painted it. He was a great artist, and would have very much appreciated the monkey-site if he had ever known what the intarweb was.
It's called "The Monotreme's Picnic." He sure was great.
Posted by: readymade on January 22, 2003 05:59 PManyhow, that was a sympathy 9622: - it doesn't count.
Posted by: goneill on January 22, 2003 06:03 PMWell, since the only thing that I love more than platypi are porcupines, that painting is now my Mona Lisa.
Posted by: witchstone on January 22, 2003 06:10 PMI once ran across a very large porcupine in the wilds of Alaska. I decided it would be prudent to give it a wide berth.
That story really has no point, except to one up everyone with the facts that:
a) I've been to, nay lived in, Alaska
b) I've seen a wild porcupine
c) I must be very brave
Just noticed this tagline. It's fantastic, I love it. Who wrote it? CC???
Posted by: Thomcatspike on January 22, 2003 06:21 PMHere's ze leetle ducks!
*pulls out butcher knife*
Um bork bork! Um bork bork!
cold chef wrote that?
I'm not sure that was my guess.
I was hoping that may summon him, our overlord of laugh, how about a CC& C for friday.
I lurve that painting, readymade. Are there any others? Like, for sale, even?
Posted by: whatnot on January 22, 2003 07:02 PMFunny conversation I can't post to my weblog 'cause he reads it:
he: So, Bryant Gumble's wife says I can't just date regular women anymore, that I need people who won't want anything from me, and that she would hook me up.
me: yeah?
he: So she hooked me up with Alicia.
me: -waits-
he: Silverstone.
me: You fucking liar.
he: Yeah, I took her to this little Italian place in the Villiage. She loved it.
me: Really? What did she have?
he: The veal.
Posted by: brittney on January 22, 2003 07:54 PMI just ate my first ever pistachio nut. It was delicious.
Why dont you people tell me these things??
Posted by: jonmc on January 22, 2003 09:24 PMYour first pistachio nut? Wow, jon. They were actually invented a long time ago.
Posted by: tizzie on January 22, 2003 09:29 PMI have a list of things you'll need to try now:
Whole grain bread
apples
a nice glass of whole milk
Get back to us on those, and we'll move on to baked potatoes and roast chicken.
Posted by: tizzie on January 22, 2003 09:33 PMYou forget, tizzie, I used to be a baker. The first batch we made every morning at 3AM was 7-grain. From the appearance of the ingredients in the gigantic Hobart mixer one of those 7 grains was belly button lint.
Posted by: jonmc on January 22, 2003 09:53 PM
Ok:
Voted for Stav, you can send my Malt Liquor to Crash. ;)
Kneeling in front of Dong_Resin: Pictures...I want pictures!
Eating: I'm eating a twinkie. Yes, they're bad for you...yes, they may not even be food...but I had a craving and caved. There it is. Ugly, but true...
Kafkaesque puns: Snicker. ;)
Feminist tagline: That was me...I was feeling particularly snarky at the time. Posters who shall remain nameless had really gotten up my nose about something...probably the fact that they continue to breathe, despite all the voodoo dolls I keep throwing in the fire.
And last, but not least...the Aquatic Temple of the Ducki Lama wishes you all a happy swim, smooth eggs and plenty of expresso. Praise Ducki. Quack.
Posted by: dejah420 on January 22, 2003 10:24 PMMan that Bloggies layout is majorly quacked. What's up with that?
Posted by: pfattmeff on January 22, 2003 10:44 PMA note about posting images:
We encourage users to post images, especially those hilarous pics of monkeys
wearing dresses or programming for Linux. But posting images that reside on someone
else's server is considered by many to be bandwidth theft. Our thoughts
on the matter, along with some solutions to the problem, can be found
here. Thanks.
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