An exciting new website is collecting crap drawings of monkeys or, more suggestively, drawings of crap monkeys or crappings of drawn monkeys.
P.S. The kinky Brits call them "rubbish monkeys", which is garbage and actually means monkeys who enjoy being rubbed.
Posted by at February 03, 2003 05:00 AMOn the 3rd floor there is a typed sign on the microwave that reads "Do Not Use Microwave." Scrawled above this is "Why? Is is out of order?" and then someone wrote "It will unmap the human genome!" which just makes me laugh every time I see it.
Posted by: witchstone on February 3, 2003 12:58 PMThat's a great idea!
I think I'll walk around my work putting up little signs saying "Do Not Use Water-Cooler", "Do Not Use Copy Machine" and especially "Do Not Use Toilet".
Posted by: kafka-purely-artistic on February 3, 2003 01:06 PMI am going to be on the radio this afternoon.
I hope I don't sound like an idiot.
Posted by: tizzie on February 3, 2003 01:22 PMWhat a vain and foolish hope, Tizzie.
Just accept your idiocy and you'll feel much better.
Posted by: witchstone on February 3, 2003 01:24 PMThe important thing to remember when you're on the radio is that hand gestures are largely ineffective.
Posted by: kafka-purely-artistic on February 3, 2003 01:29 PMAlso, I highly recommend doing a Danny Bonaducci "My voice is changing" impression while you're being interviewed.
Big, big laughs.
Posted by: kafka-purely-artistic on February 3, 2003 01:30 PMit'll be on the local news segments of All Things Considered on WNKU - they have streaming audio. The local segments are after the national news on the half-hour.
I'm gonna giggle and squeak, I know it!
Posted by: tizzie on February 3, 2003 01:33 PMWhat are you going to be talking about?
Is it pie? I would talk about pie.
Posted by: kafka-purely-artistic on February 3, 2003 01:34 PMThey do that stuff live? I would expect them to tape it.
Posted by: jpoulos on February 3, 2003 01:37 PMMake sure you somehow squeeze "9622.net: Home of the Monkey Love" into whatever you're talking about.
Posted by: jpoulos on February 3, 2003 01:38 PMI taped it this morning. I didn't talk about pie, though. I talked about our company donating a building. I was fine until she asked me what it looked like, and then I started going "Uh, well, it's made of bricks, and uhmmmm... it has windows! Lots of windows! *giggle*squeak*"
Dork dork dork.
Posted by: tizzie on February 3, 2003 01:40 PMAlso, try to get bleeped. A nice "fuck" or "thunderslut" might do that trick.
Posted by: brittney on February 3, 2003 01:41 PMThanks for the tip, Miguel. I did not know that bowling shirts destroy your audio credibility.
Posted by: tizzie on February 3, 2003 02:03 PMEspecially if you yell GUTTERBALL! a couple of times for no good reason, or try to order a round of drinks from the interviewer.
"I think it was basically an admirable move by my company to donate - GUTTERBALL! - this fine building"
"That's really great, miss uhhh Tizzie Bonobos. Can you tell us more about his building?"
"Sure! I'll take another Pabst Blue Ribbon. Well, the building... it's made of bricks, and uhmmmm...GUTTERBALL! it has windows! Lots of windows!"
Posted by: kafka-purely-artistic on February 3, 2003 02:14 PMI think that may have crossed the line from conceptual humor to incomprehensibility.
Posted by: kafka-purely-artistic on February 3, 2003 02:15 PMHoly shit, did you see that news about Phil Spector? Killed a lady in his bathtub? Weird!
This could get me bumped outta the headlines, dammit.
Posted by: tizzie on February 3, 2003 02:55 PMHey Tizzie, I'm a lazy monkey. Set us up with a link to the audio.
Posted by: ana unagi on February 3, 2003 03:35 PMI heard it at about 4:05. I suspect it'll be on about 5:05 too, but I'm not sure. I didn't squeak, but I sounded nervous and warbly.
I hope jonmc is ok...
Posted by: tizzie on February 3, 2003 04:25 PMHe's on a subway or bus somewhere, telling a story about Hostess Sno-Balls, Chico-Stix, Bubble Tea and Lothar and the Hand People to a gang of non-English speakers. They nod and make small noises in their throats occasionally.
Jon continues, undaunted.
Posted by: kafka-purely-artistic on February 3, 2003 04:25 PMWhere's Marquis these days, speaking of Missing Persons.
Posted by: witchstone on February 3, 2003 04:26 PMThis quote from Spector is alarming, funny, and completely warped:
"It had to stop," Spector said of his behavior in a 1977 Los Angeles Times interview. "Being the rich millionaire in the mansion and then dressing up as Batman. I have to admit I did enjoy it to a certain extent. But I began to realize it was very unhealthy."
Posted by: readymade on February 3, 2003 04:39 PMSeriously, who doesn't dress up like Batman at home these days? Well, I don't, but that's because I'm dressed like this.
Posted by: witchstone on February 3, 2003 04:43 PM
I'm OK, ufez. I'm just taking a break. My brains are a plumb tuckered after a year of nonstop bloggin', mefi'in' and 9622in' is all. I'd've hung back a bit longer, but I don't wanna worry anyone needlessly. And don't worry, Baba Looie is just a place holder, I didn't delete everything in a fit of pique or anything...see?
But yeah, the Spector news is a drag, coming hot on the heels of the Pete Towshend business, it makes me wanna go check into the nearest monastery quite frankly. Plus the mefi thread on the news is a festival of stupidity and flipness, bad enough to drive one to Jedidiah Purdy's Adult Day Care Center.
I'll be hanging in the background, kids. Just gotta chill for a bit.
Posted by: jonmc on February 3, 2003 04:46 PMGlad to hear you're okay, jon. Just wanted to make sure we didn't need to toss up another monkeysignal. By all means, enjoy your break. Just give us a peep from time to time to let us know you're alive (*cough cough* coldchef *cough cough*).
Posted by: ufez on February 3, 2003 05:08 PMI'm stealing that, Jon.
9622: A festival of stupidity and flipness.
Posted by: Crash on February 3, 2003 05:23 PMSorry, it was on at 4:05 and then they never repeated it. I hope I didn't sentence you to two hours of news needlessly, ana!!
Posted by: tizzie on February 3, 2003 05:54 PM9622.net: This could get me bumped outta the headlines, dammit.
Thanks, Tizz
Posted by: Thomcatspike on February 3, 2003 05:56 PMI heard Tizzie!
I heard Tizzie!
Oddly, you sound exactly as I imagined you would. (PS - that's good.)
Posted by: jpoulos on February 3, 2003 06:08 PMHow the hell did I miss it? I've been listening since 4. Damn. Is it archived?
Posted by: ana on February 3, 2003 06:15 PMOddly, you sound exactly as I imagined you would
What does she sound like?
If I was on NPR, I would do a "Pepp'ridge Faaahm" kind of voice.
So, just to wrap up here, I would talk about pie and use an annoying voice. I'll just sit here and wait for the calls to come flooding in.
Posted by: kafka-purely-artistic on February 3, 2003 06:26 PM*ring-ring*
Mr. Esque? Yes, we here at NPR hear that you speak with an annoying affectation and like to talk about pie. We would like you to be a guest on "Talk of the Nation." Can you make it for this Thursday? Great.
Our people will keep in touch.
Posted by: readymade on February 3, 2003 06:34 PMWhy, that'd be ideal.
Would a Fred-Gwynne-from-Pet-Sematary voice be acceptable?
Sometimes, death is bettah. Than pie.
Posted by: kafka-purely-artistic on February 3, 2003 06:58 PMI like how this thread really has nothing to do with the picture.
So what's the deal with Phil Spector? Drug-fried brains or natural eccentricity/
Posted by: b****fire on February 3, 2003 07:06 PMI like how this thread really has nothing to do with the picture.
So what's the deal with Phil Spector? Drug-fried brains or natural eccentricity/
Posted by: b****fire on February 3, 2003 07:07 PMI can't find it damn it so I'll post it here.
My thinking if I'm wrong shoot me as it will end my mesory. Either Adam or Lupo mentined this monday, about this link(the link in question is linked with-in)?
Posted by: Thomcatspike on February 5, 2003 05:56 PMDude. We are so ahead of the curve it ain't even funny. Well, actually it's kind of funny in that being so far ahead of the curve we often go careening off the road and end up entangled in the dense underbrush and sometimes ice-plants.
Posted by: kafkajayhawkins on February 5, 2003 05:59 PMA note about posting images:
We encourage users to post images, especially those hilarous pics of monkeys
wearing dresses or programming for Linux. But posting images that reside on someone
else's server is considered by many to be bandwidth theft. Our thoughts
on the matter, along with some solutions to the problem, can be found
here. Thanks.
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