I know, I know! But I'm the one who grew up doing fallout drills where the sixth graders had to stand over top of the kindergarden kids.
I had little notebooks and putt-putt golf pencils hidden in the basement so that I could write my diary when we went into hiding.
Posted by: tizzie on February 8, 2003 11:25 AMI'm with ya, Tiz. I clearly remember thinking "I'm not doing this book report. We'll all prob'ly get blowed up by then anyways."
Ah, this Condition Orange thing is bringing back the good old days of my kidhood.
Posted by: Mars Crash on February 8, 2003 12:22 PMIf we did have a shelter we would have plenty of canned beets and canned hopping john. That's the ONLY way I would ever eat either one.
Moral of the story-never let your husband go to the grocery store alone.
Posted by: b****fire on February 8, 2003 12:33 PMIf you guys want to hear real live artillery, come visit me. They have been booming their heads off for the last three days or so. It's kinda cool in a way, but annoying when it's at night and the house rattles.
Posted by: b****fire on February 8, 2003 12:35 PMHey Lupo, if you're reading...the US is playing Argentina on ESPN2.
umm...so I'm saying I'd have full soccer coverage in my shelter!
Posted by: kafka, esq. on February 8, 2003 12:57 PMI haven't got anything. We'll go with the first round of ICBM's.
Posted by: Crash on February 8, 2003 01:04 PMIf the bombs start raining down, I'll grab a bottle of Jack Daniels and my girl and make wild drunken love on the front lawn. If there's time I may even allow my self a cigarrette afterwards, cause what the hell, you know.
Although I would bury my record collection so that the survivors/colonizers of our charred planet would be well supplied with Little Richard, the Ramones, and Arthur Lee & Love records which is a priority in building a civilization.
BTW....I'm baaaack... and I've missed ya
Posted by: jonmc on February 8, 2003 01:11 PMSince I live on the 2nd floor, no basement, just some crabby-ass neighbors, I'll take the bomb.
You folks had bomb shelter drills, that's scarry, or funny or ewww..., ok preperation was a post WWII thing I'll give you that, I'm a youngin.
Lets see, for me: tornado drills, earthquake drills, fire drills, smog-alert days meaning: no school recesses or PE...and we had to take a canned-food & blanket to school at the start of the year, incase the The big one hit.
No wonder we love food as a society, we have drilled to the point were all drilled out on the in sides, so now to stuff ourselves with comfort, food. Pass the preparation H please.
Posted by: Thomcatspike on February 8, 2003 01:13 PMSo, jonmc, did you bring a note from your mother? Hmmm?
(welcome back!)
Posted by: b****fire on February 8, 2003 02:59 PMSo, jonmc, did you bring a note from your mother? Hmmm?
(welcome back!)
Posted by: b****fire on February 8, 2003 03:00 PMMy shelter will have all the Buffy episodes, 24 cases of Blue Heron ale, and a phone so that we can order delivery. Possibly some cookies and pistachios, perhaps some salty snacks. Definitely some Lush brand skin lotion, as one must moisturize in the case of emergency. The monkey butler, my elephant lamp and our Swedish foam bed--they will be there too. And of course the platypus painting.
Posted by: readymade on February 8, 2003 03:05 PMTiz your water, 11 & 1/2 ounces??? 1/2 ounce of air, as it looks like a 12oz can.
Jon, what is the one food item to out live us all?
[this could be an eternity of; just being a favorite or preserved to withstand the bomb]
Now I have that 80's song, You dropped the bomb on me...ba-by. in my head, bye folks.
Posted by: Thomcatspike on February 8, 2003 03:30 PMSlim Jims, Twinkies, and of course Pocky...
If I was feeling masochistic, I'd pack some corn flavored lollipops. (I'm not kidding. I have one sitting in my kitchen drawer. Easily the weirdest tasting thing ever...)
Posted by: jonmc on February 8, 2003 03:34 PMI'll take those beets off your hands, bunny. Nothing like a little apocalyptic arbitrage.
Posted by: ana on February 8, 2003 04:35 PMOoooh, readymade, you have one of those Swedish foam beds? I might show up at your cellar door!
Candy bars that divide up into tiny squares would be an excellent fallout food, because you could portion them out over long periods of time.
And sporks, because they are much more efficient than either a spoon or a fork.
Posted by: tizzie on February 8, 2003 04:43 PMjonmc, I think you are on the right track with the SlimJim and Twinkie sort of thing. They have a half-life longer than uranium.
Posted by: tizzie on February 8, 2003 04:44 PMMy Döömsday Shëd* will have 36 copies of Def Leppard's Pyromania.
y'know, just in case.
* a photomat with tinfoil on half of the roof. I'm not really that committed to surviving.
It's weird, but between growing up in the cold war and growing up catholic, my head was filled with all kinds of tales of the coming apocalypse.
I used to have dreams that a big fissure would open in the sky, and either a big hand would reach down and pull me up, or a big fireball would fall and burn me alive.
Now I have dreams that I go to work having forgotten to put on any underwear.
I think that's progress.
Posted by: tizzie on February 8, 2003 04:54 PM[offtopic]
We interrupt these lighthearted doomsday musings to bring you scenes from bella Roma.
Because I have been having way too much fun with the new office toy lately to not share.
[/offtopic]
Unleash Courtney Love on Iraq and all should be well.
That Courtney chick is too high.
Rommakimmmy!!!! I love those photos! They are magnificent. Show more, please!
Posted by: tizzie on February 8, 2003 08:54 PMDang,that gal is starting to make Anna Nichole Smith look good.
Just say no to drugs, people.
Posted by: b****fire on February 8, 2003 09:40 PMNah, ana. Skankalicious breastestes can be a Good Thing (tm). Besides, I am seeing a weird corrilation between Ms. Love's pose and the nyad pic (7th pic).
'Course, it could just be the extraordinarily late hour and the fact that I have been up at the butt crack of dawn for the past 3 days, which could also explain my spelling.
Posted by: romakimmy on February 8, 2003 09:43 PMI have been up at the butt crack of dawn...
Ah, Dawn, nice girl..with a nice buttcrack..
Posted by: jonmc on February 8, 2003 10:05 PMOooooh, Miguel, that's cold. That'll drive everyone out, but wouldn't that be the way to cleanse the bowels of America? By sending over our nastiest, cheesiest, skanks and ho's?
Posted by: aw on February 8, 2003 10:26 PMI may regret saying this, but up close and cozy with the DMZ as I am, I can't help secretly hoping for a war again. It would make life interesting, that's for damn sure, and after millions of dead North Koreans due to famine, I loathe the bastards in power up there even more than I loathe the current American administration, if that were possible. Of course currency devaluation would make my life savings worth less than toilet paper, so maybe it's not such a good idea, after all.
Posted by: stavrosthewonderchicken on February 8, 2003 10:26 PMYeah, no fallout shelter here at casa by the lake...but, considering all the industrial and military stuff around us, we'll never hear the one that gets us.
Stav, I was thinking about you the other day, when doing some research on NK...man, it must be crazy for you now. (Well, crazier...)
The world, hell, handbasket. What a freaking mess we've found ourselves in, no?
Posted by: dejah420 on February 9, 2003 12:35 AMHey, this wasn't supposed to be a depressing thread, you serious monkeys, you.
It's more like a "What would you take to the desert island except that the desert island is in your cellar" thread.
So. With that clarification in mind, a list:
The Murakami books I bought and haven't read yet
My favorite old holey wool sweater
The Fukouko 9000 and extra batteries
Massive quantities of cheddar cheese
Cases of booze, yep.
Dental floss
Check, check, double check.
Posted by: tizzie on February 9, 2003 10:41 AMDidja ever see The Quiet Earth?
Nice little meditation on waking up and finding yourself totally, and completely, alone.
But think about this: You could totally make whatever icky human noises you wanted, whenever you wanted. Aw yeeeeeah.
Posted by: kafka, esq. on February 9, 2003 01:05 PMWhy Kaf! Surely one's own icky human noises are no more harrowing than others'.
I hear the Japanese have stereo systems in their lavatories to deal with them. Way to go.
Being human alive is often disgusting.
Posted by: Miguel on February 9, 2003 01:18 PMThat whole "last person on Earth" thing was one of my childhood fantasies.
Now, of course, I would be consumed with wondering what happened to my children, and all the cool shit I thought of doing when I was a kid would be right out the window.
Posted by: Crash on February 9, 2003 01:22 PMSurely one's own icky human noises are no more harrowing than others'.
You just don't know the right people. I'll send you a tape.
Posted by: kafka, esq. on February 9, 2003 01:34 PMAnyone read Wittgenstein's Mistress? Kind of takes the pleasure out of being the last person on earth. I almost went bonkers* while reading it.
*as in the technical term
Posted by: witchstone on February 10, 2003 03:47 PMSounds like his days are numbered.
But as a parting gesture, he resurrected this thread!
Posted by: tizzie on September 22, 2003 11:27 AMWorry not, at this very moment, llamas[*] are now scouring the globe, looking for a child born at the right time[**], to be the chosen one... evil2.
[*] No, not lamas. Llamas. It's complicated.
[**] Meanwhile, Paul Simon is going into hiding. Coincidence?
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