I don't have much to say at the moment, I was just looking for an excuse to post this monkey. (via that Nameless Site) And he's a pretty happy monkey. and it's all about the monkeys.
Posted by adampsyche at February 16, 2003 06:40 PMdude, that monkey's happy 'cause he's a'drinkin'!
Posted by: eyeballkid on February 16, 2003 07:24 PMWhy do my thoughts drift to Lisbon right about now?
Posted by: b****fire on February 16, 2003 07:45 PMAfter the crack kicks in...it's the bartending monkey! :D
Posted by: roe/metrocake on February 16, 2003 08:42 PMI don't need no voodoo drug, I just chiggalug on my coffe mug...I dont need no kiss and hug, I just chuggalug on my coffee mug!!
Posted by: jonmc on February 16, 2003 08:51 PMWow.
That is really amazing.
That really is truly amazing. That is so amazingly amazing I think I'd like to steal it.
Done!
Posted by: yhbc on February 16, 2003 11:10 PMThere's something about it that gives me the squickies. That might be a by-product of too much beer last night, but none-the-less, gives me the creeps.
Bravo!
Posted by: readymade on February 17, 2003 01:17 AMMy grandpa had one of these:
He would shake the drink, pour it, drink it, and then smoke would come out of his ears. Hours of fun for grown-ups and kids alike.
Of course, old Charley Weaver ended up on Hollywood Squares, and I don't think he was ever in the middle.
Posted by: tizzie on February 17, 2003 09:29 AMTurn on Animal Planet right now, the red-penised monkey is on Jeff Corwin!
Posted by: adampsyche on February 17, 2003 10:35 AMAh, it's over already. The little bugger peed on Jeff's head, though.
Posted by: adampsyche on February 17, 2003 10:36 AMJeff Corwin doesn't get pissed on enough. I know he gets pissed on quite frequently, but it's still not enough.
And it'd be great to see some poo flung at his face.
Posted by: ufez on February 17, 2003 11:38 AMAs a weather-related aside... Serious injuries were also avoided Saturday night when a salt truck slipped into the Ohio River, sank completely under the water and remained on the river bottom Sunday.
That cracks me up.
That monkey hasn't got a clue. Any bartender worth a damn could shake with one hand and set up glassware or prepare a garnish with the other.
This monkey knows a rookie when she sees one.
Posted by: brittney on February 17, 2003 01:10 PMTee hee, Tizzie: I read that "sank completely under the waiter". Shades of "three martinis and I'm under the groom".
Great, great monkey, Adam - perhaps the greatest of all time!
Posted by: Miguel on February 17, 2003 01:12 PMSpeaking of monkeys and celebratory boozing - please raise a toast to the latest Monkey in the world, my Baby Boy - born Jan 23rd - he's a wonderful little package, and much like the simian in this thread - he's already peed on my head. He's off to a great healthy start.
Posted by: kokogiak on February 17, 2003 02:41 PMThat is so nice, kokogiak! I am very happy for you and the little pee-er. Are there pictures of this monkey-child that we can oooh and ahhh over?
Posted by: tizzie on February 17, 2003 02:47 PMYeah! We want pictures and we want 'em now!
*makes various screeching chimp noises*
(congratulations!)
the world needs more monkeys. commence mating, all, please.
congrats, koko
Posted by: ufez on February 17, 2003 03:11 PMThanks all, Here's the wee tyke,
Yawning and Flexing just like his Papa.
Posted by: kokogiak on
February 17, 2003 03:15 PM
If you can all stand a little more monkey news:
I am 99% sure I have a new job-parttime at first to go into full time. I just have to be run briefly past the boss from out of town, who, I have been told, will do what the local boss wants. And she is the one that wants me there. She called ME.
Coincidentally,(unless you believe in the providence of God, which I do) we are being GIVEN a second car in a couple of days which means I have transportation.
And she tells me I will make at least 1 1/2 dollars an hour more than at my previous job (which is where she knows me from.) Plus there will be BENEFITS. Yay!
THAT is a fantastically beautiful baby! you done good!
Oh, and this baby-he has a name?
Ufez, I have made as many monkeys as I am going to make. Three should be enough for anybody.
Posted by: b****fire on February 17, 2003 03:20 PMWhy yes - can't believe I left his name out, we're so proud of it - River Paul Taylor. And no, it's not "after River Phoenix", there's a lot of personal meaning for our family in that name, relating to things Alaskan, Buddhist, Ethereal, Eternal and Beautiful (summing up as best I can). And we're done too - one boy, one girl, we've got our matched set.
Posted by: kokogiak on February 17, 2003 03:29 PMOh. Oh dear.
Those fists. That hat. The yawn.
I'm in baby love.
Congratulations, dude! They never seem to stop peeing on heads, not even at 4 years old.
I think it's a monkey thing. Refer to Jeff Corwin's freshly peed-on head up above.
By the way, great news...Karen (otherwise known as aw in circles such as these) is going to be adopting Jasper soon, with the blessings of his birth mother (otherwise known as baby mama).
Posted by: adampsyche on February 17, 2003 03:51 PMYay, Adam, Karen and Jasper!
What a splendid monkey news day.
Adam and AW, that's wonderful!
Give the little feller a hug for me -or ice cream if he can talk you into it.
koko, that is a great picture. aw and adam, fantastic news. We need more good news like this. More Monkeys!
Posted by: ana on February 17, 2003 04:03 PMHoly guacamole! That's a lot of monkey news in a short thread--I think I might have to start drinking extra early today to celebrate.
No, not really. I'm trying to quit smoking and the beer just makes it super-duper difficult.
Posted by: readymade on February 17, 2003 04:05 PMkokogiak, Congrats! And I must say, that's one damn cute baby. And I just had a baby 2 months ago, so for a new mother to admit cuteness in anything but her own spawnling, surely means that it's an adorable baby! :)
And Yay Karen, Adam and Jasper! Whoo hoo! I tell ya, we've had so many new monkey babies lately that we should all find a central state and have a baby fest. A babypallooza if you will. Beer, BBQ and baby admiration. :)
Posted by: dejah420 on February 17, 2003 04:34 PMYa'll make my uterus throb.
Congratulations to the new parents, ye people getting laid more than me! I'm certainly with Tizzie, et. al--that baby is painfully precious.
Big congrats to my man Adam on his newest familial revelation, which, I am proud to say may have been first announced at my little site. I happen to think the Psyche family is hugely attractive--the entire lot--and am tickled at the good news.
And strength be to the fabulous readymade in her quest for cleaner lungs. I've done it, it's tough--but so very worth it. {A secret: When I got really fiendish, and nearly relapsed, I found some pot, smoked that instead and instantly forgot my craving. Just a tip for insanely desperate moments.)
Posted by: brittney on February 17, 2003 04:49 PMJust a tip for insanely desperate moments.
Actually, I'd say that's not a bad tip for any moments.
Posted by: pardon me on February 17, 2003 05:25 PMjesus christ, first alll my friends in real life quit, now all you fuckers are too.
*stands alone smoking in the cold*
Posted by: tj on February 17, 2003 05:38 PMThe only reason to take Brittney's advice for me? To see me running naked in the streets screeching about how the monkeys really did eat my brain. But that's just me. Makes me completely batshit.
However, I thank you for the vote of confidence. I am a big fan of smoking so I'm sorry to see it go, but I think I would like to keep my lungs a few years more (Even though I'm actually waiting for the scientific study that qualitatively proves that smoking is good for you--it seems I have a long wait).
Posted by: readymade on February 17, 2003 06:04 PMCome look at all the old people in North Carolina. The smokers all look like crap-lots and lots of extra wrinkles. At forty-four I still look a lot younger than my mom did in her thirties.
She quit smoking unfiltered Camels cold turkey about ten years ago. She's one tough old bird.
TJ, my brotha, I quit smoking about 6th months ago which caused several tobacco farmers to love their retirement nest eggs. If I can do it anyone can.
Posted by: jonmc on February 17, 2003 06:56 PM**lights smoke, joins TJ in outcast corner**
don't worry, man. I'm still here with you.
Posted by: ufez on February 17, 2003 08:13 PMNote to self: just because your 4 wheel drive vehicle can get down your parents' driveway, doesn't mean you'll be able to get back up. At least not without two hours of shoveling.
Thanks one and all. I'm sure you can understand why this isn't announced at my blog.
Posted by: adampsyche on February 17, 2003 08:16 PM*lights smoke, joins the boys*
Of course, that doesn't stop me from heartily congratulating where congratulations are due... Congratulations, kokogiak and adam (and bunny too)!
I haven't had my first coffee yet. Did I miss anyone?
Posted by: stavrosthewonderchicken on February 17, 2003 09:30 PMHoly doodle, what a great day!
How good of y'all that you're keeping the primate-positive part of the populace properly peopled with, um, paragons of perspicacity?
Sorry. Maybe I should start smoking. Can I bum one off someone? (Stav, I just made a fresh pot. Who needs topping up?)
Adam, bunny, koko, I extend my congratulations to all three of youse at least as far as I extend my alleged alliterative ability.
Posted by: Chico on February 17, 2003 09:41 PMShit, a chicken just reminded me that I'm fresh out of coffee.
It's going to be a looooong morning when I get up. And I had to park my car at the grocery store by us because I couldn't get up the freakin' driveway.
Posted by: adampsyche on February 17, 2003 09:49 PMReality TV! Not for the squeamish!
Me (tizzie) on local cable interview program 'Northern Kentucky Magazine,' tomorrow morning at 10:30. Does it get more exciting than this? Probably, but still I feel a few flutterbies - it's live, so if I break out in spots, it will be right there before dozens of viewers. Dozens!
Posted by: tizzie on February 17, 2003 10:17 PMA child named River(and an aborable one, I'll admit) and adam and aw's tyke is named Jasper(also an adorable kid). And my parent's after being presented the their first born, whadda they do? They call it "Jon." Way to be imaginative there, parental units. Someday, if I get rich, I'm having my navel smoothed over.
Posted by: jonmc on February 17, 2003 10:17 PMAre girls allowed?
*lights up a cigarette, joins the boys*
Posted by: witchstone on February 18, 2003 10:04 AM"Sink."
"No."
"Mirror."
"No."
"Tub."
"No."
"Barbisol."
"What was that first thing you said?"
"Jon."
"Bingo."
Not to worry Jon, we named our boy Thomas. ;) Our neighborhood had their quota of cool names, so we decided to be different by being traditional. ;)
(I do love the names River and Jasper though...)
Posted by: dejah420 on February 18, 2003 11:17 AMCongrats to all on all the good news.
That poor monkey is but a red X, a fading memory of monkey beersick.
Posted by: kafkaskance on February 18, 2003 12:46 PMDoes refreshing a 500 error page duplicate a post? Absolutely!
Posted by: adampsyche on February 18, 2003 12:50 PMThere is no monkey, to coin a phrase.
By the way, on a somewhat related note, you should all see Dog Soldiers. It's badass.
Posted by: kafka-lycanthrope on February 18, 2003 12:55 PMGood day all,
That monkey at the top must be shake'in it to: Oww, DRINK IT UP BABY! (drink it up baby)
PS, can we get a "search" for this site or is that something I need to put a cork into it, my mouth. I thought of it watching Fandango yesterday.
I know that if I were in NYC tonite, I'd be putting on my snowshoes and going here to see our monkey friend chico play music. WoooHOOO!
Posted by: tizzie on February 18, 2003 02:58 PMNice, I could only get the October schedule to come up, what's the name of the band, chico?
Posted by: Thomcatspike on February 18, 2003 03:48 PMI want a fucking monkey butler already. It's the year 2003 - is that too much to ask? I think not.
...although a friend of mine, for some reason, claims she would prefer a sherpa to a monkey butler. Feh.
Posted by: UKnowForKids on February 18, 2003 04:11 PMSounds like a Christian Rock band.
Like a "Stuffin' Martha's Muffin' for Jesus" sort of thing.
Posted by: the academy of st. kafka in the fields on February 18, 2003 04:17 PMDoes that meant that someone is having sex with Martha on behalf of Jesus?
Posted by: witchstone on February 18, 2003 04:19 PMWell, my friend. Yes. Yes it does.
Because Jesus is shy about things like that, even though he had a ragin' boner for Martha Quinn.
Posted by: the academy of st. kafka in the fields on February 18, 2003 04:21 PMI would like to apologize to the entire world for that last comment. It was bad and wrong and right-minded individuals would do best to ignore it.
Posted by: the academy of st. kafka in the fields on February 18, 2003 04:21 PMFrom monkey butlers to Jesus's boners in 5 posts. I think I've found the right place for me.
Posted by: UKnowForKids on February 18, 2003 04:25 PM9622.net: From monkey butlers to Jesus's boners in 5 posts
Posted by: the academy of st. kafka in the fields on February 18, 2003 04:28 PM
Doktor Kafka, Mister Mojo would, I'm sure, rise to thine namecheck. Why Mojiewojie settled for Debbie Gibson over the Mighty Quinn never made no sense to me.
(Great Jesus Boners! I go do some work for a few hours and suddenly y'all are flirting and drinking! Great Googly Moogly, but I got some catching up to do! Hand me the opener, this bubbly shizz ain't no twist-top.)
Tizzie, I wish you could come, too. In fact, I wish all of youse could be there. Not because I have a total attention-hog complex, but because it would be cool to actually see you all. (Is it time for another get-together?)
(I post my gigs on my front page, if it matters. Those gig services are sometimes a little dodgy, and even the papers ain't the best.)
Parenthetically,
T.
So, what did you do with St. Martin? Cements blocks and the Hudson?
Posted by: witchstone on February 18, 2003 05:29 PMI thought St. Martin got rich with his chain of one-hour dry cleaning shops. If that's him, then he'd be too busy to be out in the fields all the time, and kafkaesque might be just, erm, helping a brotha out by doing a little field-time by hisself.
(You know? I saw Jesus at McDonald's at Midnight, and I probably could have asked him. He would have known, right? He knows everything.)
Posted by: Chico on February 18, 2003 05:39 PMcommon 7, from the picture at the top...looks like he is rolling dice, no.
Nice pic, chico.
Posted by: Thomcatspike on February 18, 2003 05:41 PMYeesh. That's my American Idol money shot if ever there was one.
I'm so much prettier now, as two or three of you can shurely attest.
Posted by: Chico on February 18, 2003 06:05 PMI'm tired. I thought you were talking about monkey butter.
Posted by: b****fire on February 18, 2003 07:06 PMPS, can we get a "search" for this site or is that something I need to put a cork into it, my mouth.
If the Master of The Server upgrades to MT 2.6, we can use the built-in MTSearch. Just sayin'.
Posted by: stavrosthewonderchicken on February 18, 2003 09:08 PMSounds like the beer talkin'.
'Course, that could be the voices in my head.
Posted by: tizzie on February 18, 2003 09:14 PMI'm so much prettier now, as two or three of you can shurely attest.
True, ever since he got the boob job he's so much more confident, and it shows.
Posted by: jonmc on February 18, 2003 09:33 PMI think you're all pretty. And it is definitely the beer talking.
Posted by: UKnowForKids on February 19, 2003 01:08 AMMy god! I just heard that Skeleton Warrior has shuffled off this mortal coil.
I am devastated. It is the end of everything. Laughter, love, nay even--hope.
Posted by: witchstone on February 19, 2003 11:35 AMIt is at times such as these when we must dig down deep within ourselves and ask "What would Sekelton Warrior want us to do?"
Well, I think I know what he'd want.
He'd want us to find a Greek hero and beat the living piss out of him.
That's what he'd want.
Posted by: the academy of st. kafka in the fields on February 19, 2003 11:46 AMCan't I just beat the piss out of one of these women? I'm sure Skelly would dig that too.
Posted by: jpoulos on February 19, 2003 11:48 AMIt still brings tears to my eyes when I think of Skeleton Warrior in The Police video for "King of Pain" video, over in the corner choking on a crust of bread. One of the most moving performances I have ever witnessed. Apparently SW was one of the few people who was allowed to called Sting "Gordon."
Posted by: witchstone on February 19, 2003 11:55 AMHello department of redundancy department, can I talk about a video?
Posted by: witchstone on February 19, 2003 11:57 AMThe Police really got a little arrogant, when they started making videos of their own videos. Next: the video for String's Jaguar ads.
Posted by: the academy of st. kafka in the fields on February 19, 2003 12:21 PMWhy do men suffer from Sting envy? All the bitter comments in the world won't add up to one little tree in the rainforest, now will they?
Posted by: tizzie on February 19, 2003 12:38 PMWhy do men suffer from Sting envy? All the bitter comments in the world won't add up to one little tree in the rainforest, now will they?
Revolution Number 9, number 9, number 9....
Posted by: tizzie on February 19, 2003 12:39 PMMy theory is it's because of the video of the video of "Don't Stand So Close to Me."
Posted by: witchstone on February 19, 2003 12:41 PMWho's bitter? I just think he's annoying.
Posted by: the academy of st. kafka in the fields on February 19, 2003 12:42 PMAnd nothing can excuse his acting performance in "Brimstone & Treacle".
Posted by: the academy of st. kafka in the fields on February 19, 2003 12:43 PMWell if he would like to practice being annoying, might I suggest the following time and place:
Tizzie's Boudoir
ASAP.
mmmmmmm, be annoying a little to the left, there, Sting.....
Posted by: tizzie on February 19, 2003 12:45 PMTizzie, be careful, that man can go for hours.
Can anyone say "vaginal chafing"?
Posted by: witchstone on February 19, 2003 12:47 PM"Vaginal chafing"
*rimshot*
I'm here all week, folks.
Is it shiny because of the sequins? Or because it's made of metal?
Posted by: curious witchstone on February 19, 2003 01:30 PMStop it with the bathroom talk you perverts.
Also, did you know that the drummer at Bob Dylan's infamous Royal Albert Hall concert(not actually at the royal abert hall, but you get the idea) was also the sweet-breathed biker in the Breath Savers commercials?
He was. See...
(I love lives like this. Whoever said there are no second acts in american lives had his head up his ass)
Posted by: jonmc on February 19, 2003 01:35 PMmmmm mmmmmmmmmm mm mmmmmmmmm!! mmmm mmmm!
Posted by: Whoever said there are no second acts in american lives on February 19, 2003 01:44 PMAh yes, that's something to be proud of. Most of us can only dream of being in a Breath Savers ad.
Posted by: witchstone on February 19, 2003 01:54 PMBut all that goodwill is kind of wiped out by his compliance in playing "Just Dropped In (To See What Condition My Condition Was In)."
To have helped give Kenny Rogers a career automatically demotes you two levels in hell.
Just advocatin', here.
Posted by: LIVE from Roasters! on February 19, 2003 05:50 PMI have actually been to the Chillicothe Correctional Institute. I did not meet Johnny Paycheck during my brief visit (to do an interview of an inmate for a magazine) but I can testify that when those big metal gates clang shut behind you, it is a sound you remember forever.
Posted by: tizzie on February 19, 2003 09:46 PMDamn, tizzie, you really do need to write the book of your life.
Posted by: witchstone on February 20, 2003 09:59 AMTrue story. It was in 1986. I went as a freelancer to interview a convicted murderer for a local gay newspaper - the point was to find out if the murder had really been a gay hate crime or just a robbery that went bad. We sat at a metal table with folding chairs, and they took off his handcuffs while I talked with him. A guard stood across the room. I bought the murderer a can of Mountain Dew, and he drank it while he told me how he and his friend had choked their victim with a tire iron after he couldn't get any more money out of the ATM.
Posted by: tizzie on February 20, 2003 10:49 AMhe told me how he and his friend had choked their victim with a tire iron after he couldn't get any more money out of the ATM.
I think I saw that same story on Maya the Bee one time.
Posted by: kafka can't jump on February 20, 2003 11:43 AMA note about posting images:
We encourage users to post images, especially those hilarous pics of monkeys
wearing dresses or programming for Linux. But posting images that reside on someone
else's server is considered by many to be bandwidth theft. Our thoughts
on the matter, along with some solutions to the problem, can be found
here. Thanks.
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