Call me gullible but Gossip List seems a great deal more credible than the usual dirt. Most of it's "well known" and not very damning but there are a few shockers along the way. Though nothing to compare with what we monkeys have heard about celebrities and would never repeat here...
Posted by at February 19, 2003 02:24 PMFirstName: Miguel
LastName: Cardoso
Gender: Unruly Boner
Occupation: Cult Author by day, Simian Superhero by night
Dirt: Poo-flinger. Drunkard. Claims to live in "Portugal", clearly a fictional country. Has been known to attack umbrella thieves.
Finally. An answer to the question that's been plaguing me for so long:
Does anyone, anywhere, still care about John Schneider?
Posted by: the academy of st. kafka in the fields on February 19, 2003 02:37 PMFirst name: Crash
Last name: Davis
Gender: Xtreme Conjugalist
Occupation: Comedy lawyer-baiter and car wrecker
Dirt: Poo-carpetbomber; proto-Nazi, compass-confirmed right wing loon; Male nympho; looks good in tights; Proust-mocker; closet homophobe and Liberace-defacer; Photoshop-challenged; if provoked, will listen to - and actually enjoy - Heavy Metal
I resent that. I would never mock Proust.
Now, who is she again?
Posted by: Crash on February 19, 2003 03:04 PMIt's supposed to be poo-not MUD-that we fling here, boys.
Posted by: b****fire on February 19, 2003 03:04 PMIt's supposed to be poo-not MUD-that we fling here, boys.
Posted by: b****fire on February 19, 2003 03:04 PMCat things about the Dukes of Hazzard?
Either I get the weirdest error messages or I need to go up on the meds.
Posted by: b****fire on February 19, 2003 03:06 PMWell, it's refreshing to know that Jerry Springer takes his hookers to better hotels now than when he was mayor of Cincinnati and took them to the TraveLodge in Newport, Kentucky.
Nice place. You can get cooties just by driving past.
Posted by: tizzie on February 19, 2003 03:06 PMDid I say Proust? Sorry, Crash - I meant Prowse, Juliet Prowse. The gal who taught Sinatra how to dress. Or so they say.
lies about her age, likes to shave off five years, likes to dress trashy, has large natural boobs ....
Who among us doesn't!?!? I was planning to have most of those lines inscribed on my tombstone.
Posted by: tizzie on February 19, 2003 03:14 PMAnna Wintour:likes to fart loudly in Conde Nast bathrooms and then leave without washing hands
...and just where has she been all my life?
Posted by: jonmc on February 19, 2003 03:15 PM"Sorry, Crash - I meant Prowse, Juliet Prowse."
That's better. I'd mock her until the cows came home. I'd mock her until she begged me to stop. I'd mock her so hard, she'd have permanent bedspring dents on her back.
Posted by: Crash on February 19, 2003 03:16 PMBefore you go getting the wrong idea, I meant back when she looked like this:
Just wanted to clear that up, since she's been dead for a few years now.
Posted by: Crash on February 19, 2003 03:20 PMJenna Jameson: available for private dates with fans for only $6000 an hour.
Sweet! *starts saving euro pennies*
Posted by: romakimmy on February 19, 2003 04:57 PMew. there are a lot cheaper ways to catch crabs, darlin'.
And, from a guy's perspective, $6000 will buy a lot of jars of mayonnaise.
Posted by: jpoulos on February 19, 2003 04:59 PM(I'd like to apologize to anyone who "got" that mayonnaise joke. And to anyone who didn't, please move along. Nothing to see here.)
Posted by: jpoulos on February 19, 2003 05:01 PMHumour me, dammit. I've had a very bad 48 hours. And sort of drubk, thanks to my boss. *sticks tongue out at lupo, then blows an air kiss across the room*
Posted by: romakimmy on February 19, 2003 05:19 PMum, sorry. That was sort of cranky. Please ignore the chick from Rome having a minor hissy fit.
Posted by: romakimmy on February 19, 2003 05:35 PMWe're all just so glad you're back, Kimmy!
Posted by: the academy of st. kafka in the fields on February 19, 2003 05:37 PMThanks!, Boss of Romakimmy for getting her drbunk. W/o you, we would have never had her blow lupo kisses so far accross the world. See, kimmy bosses are useful in life, they push us over our ledges.
Excuse me, as I'm doing my self-review and now compelled to jump out the window...bye y'al.
Posted by: Thomcatspike on February 19, 2003 05:57 PMRemember it's not always the highth that will kill, but the car below, and it's mine, no thanks.
I'm just funnin', kimmy. We missed you. Don't go away any more.
Posted by: jpoulos on February 19, 2003 06:52 PMMayo? I'm afraid to ask...but I'm sure the truth is way better than the things I could make up...
And I'm with Tizzie on the whole losing a few years, big boobed, eye tuck thing. ;)
Posted by: dejah420 on February 19, 2003 07:13 PMI find myself also growing some rather large boobs too as the years go by. Sadly, they are carpeted in fur...
Posted by: stavrosthewonderchicken on February 19, 2003 08:00 PM*does the festive Romakimmy's Return dance, whilst ogling the chicken breasts*
Posted by: Miguel on February 20, 2003 12:58 AMAs I can see the light at the end of the tunnel of The Very Long Project, I promise ya'll will be seeing more poo flinging coming from Rome soon.
And yes, Thom, my boss is very very cool. My ex fianceè is not. Hence crankyromakimmy.
*blows air kisses at all and sundry, slaps Migs hand as it steathily creeps towards stav*
There are plenty of furry chicken boobies for everyone, tesoro
ex fianceès, as a rule, are subhuman once they recieve that title.
Posted by: tj on February 20, 2003 01:20 PMI've never had an ex-fiance, but it sounds cosmopolitan.
Posted by: witchstone on February 20, 2003 04:16 PMTechnically, aren't I married to my ex-fiancée?
Posted by: kafka, esq. on February 20, 2003 04:19 PMExactly, grasshopper. Exactly.
Adam's getting all Lao Tzu on our asses.
Posted by: kafka, esq. on February 20, 2003 04:29 PM"Is a butterfly an ex-caterpillar?"
As a turd is an ex-filet mignon.
Posted by: Crash on February 20, 2003 05:05 PMKind of reminds me of a little story my brother e-mailed me the other day. He's a gym teacher at a local high school. John is the other guys' gym teacher. I think that's all the backstory you need:
"This may sound like a joke, but it's a true story.
Last semester, John and I both have 1st hour Frosh classes, and for some of the units it works well to combine. This is the case one day when I see one of his kids (a weird, foreign kid whose name I cannot recall just now) walking when he should be running during warm-ups. Now this alone is not strange - he's often not on the same page, typically tardy, and just generally odd. He's eager to please, but I've often wondered if he's a little slow or just too damn foreign (from Africa most recently, may be Egyptian. Definitely speaks French - hell, I don't know). In any case, I shout over for him to start jogging. He doesn't. I call to him again. Still no jogging, but now some head shaking. He's walking his laps, and I point out to John that he isn't doing too much. As he comes around we both tell him to get moving, then we both notice he's now openly crying. We call him over to see what's up. He says, 'My parent died last night.' We're like, 'Your parent?!' He says yes. I can't believe the kid is in school even! Being the source of support I am, I fucking walk away. Not my department, man. Good luck, John. Anyhow, John has no clue either and rightly lets him know that he should be talking to his counselor about this. So the kid gets sent to the counselors. And here's where the story gets good.
Apparently at his counselor he again says his parent has died. The counselor is freaking - I mean, how can we not know this already? She says, 'Which one?' He says, 'No, you don't understand, my parent died!' She again asks which one. The kid is now in tears and telling her she doesn't understand, and that she should ask John because he understands the situation.
To wrap this up, as you may have guessed, he may speak French and 10 other languages, but he doesn't speak English well enough to correctly pronounce 'parrot.' And here's the kicker - when he first told us his 'parent' had died, I thought it was an odd thing to say and thought he just maybe meant 'parrot,' but I decided not to say anything for fear it would sound like I was making a joke."
Posted by: aine42 on February 20, 2003 08:15 PMMiguel, you may also like A List. (No relation to "A List Apart.")
Posted by: Britain on February 21, 2003 10:18 AMSince we're gossiping, did all y'all take the political quiz? I can't be bothered to look through the whole Metatalk thread for my 9622 buddies. Just curious. I think I got around the same score I got a couple of years ago when I took it. I remember being similar to Ken Livingstone then as well.
E L/R: -4.5
A/L: -6.97
So this parrot, has he joined the choir invisible?
Posted by: b***Yfire on February 21, 2003 10:42 AMSo this parrot, has he joined the choir invisible?
Posted by: b***Yfire on February 21, 2003 10:43 AMSo this parrot, has he joined the choir invisible?
Posted by: b***Yfire on February 21, 2003 10:43 AMSomebody smack her quick, I think she's having a seizure.
Posted by: witchstone on February 21, 2003 10:44 AMI turned out to be not only Ken Livingstone, but Walrus as well.
Posted by: kafka, esq. on February 21, 2003 11:40 AMIf this keeps up: Wood, Elijah. A very nice man. FOD. It will ruin all my enconters with him. Especially in my story where he is a little boy and I give him toys & candies.
Posted by: Thomcatspike on February 21, 2003 12:04 PMObligatory: "Dude. What the heck are you talking about?"
Posted by: kafka, esq. on February 21, 2003 12:10 PMEconomic Left/Right: -6.12
Authoritarian/Libertarian: -6.97
(For what it's worth. Which isn't much.)
Posted by: jpoulos on February 21, 2003 12:29 PMI'd never seen the test before today (I took the week off Mefi to do my stupid job for a while, sorry). Course, the rock I'm currently living under doesn't get much sunlight, but whatever.
- Economic Left/Right: -9.00
- Authoritarian/Libertarian: -6.67
Which seems a bit extreme, but hey, online testing doesn't lie. Right?
*simultaneously: phone rings, loud knock at the door*
Posted by: Chico on February 21, 2003 12:37 PMEconomic Left/Right: -4.88
Authoritarian/Libertarian: -7.49
I am a mindless peace monkey who knows nothing about politics.
Posted by: kafka, esq. on February 21, 2003 12:45 PML/R: 1.12
A/L: -5.69
This makes me, I believe, the right-most 9622 (semi)regular of those who posted, a few ticks east of Snr. Cardoso. If I had taken this test circa 1990, I would have probably scored about -7 on the left/right axis, but significantly less libertarian.
The funny thing is I consider myself very much a moderate Democrat, and I've never voted for a Republican for any important office. Most of my "do or die issues" tend to align squarely with the Democrats. But obviously, as I've grown older, some of the more idealistic/pie-in-the-sky planks of the Democratic platform just don't ring true to the "real world."
Whatever. Feel free to call me George W. Pardon Me.
Posted by: pardon me on February 21, 2003 02:38 PMThe funny thing is I consider myself very much a moderate Democrat,
That sounds about right (er..correct). The Democratic Party is no longer Left of that center line. I'd put it around a 1.0.
Posted by: jpoulos on February 21, 2003 02:44 PMMy score was
Economic Left/Right: -5.75
Authoritarian/Libertarian: -5.33
I think that means I play well with others.
Democratic Party is no longer Left of that center line. I'd put it around a 1.0.
Mine was a -1.0 on the dot, and I'm always told at work I'm a bush lover, right winger. But I'm not i tell ya. {as thom polishes his Dick Nixon autograph} -2.14 for social. Really you have to thank Texas for opening my eye's to no parties. As an ex-Californians I didn't know how good I had it.
here comes the sun...mother fucker ate my post.
kaf, I was keeping in themes of things the thread is on gossip. My bad really as I made the comment but didn't hit the post button till way later, missing my connection to a previous comment. So the guy I mentioned use to come play & shop at my store on several occassions at Knott's. This was when his family would ride Montazuma's Revenge and other rides in Fiesta Village as he was too short to go on them, I'm guessing. He was just making it big, yet was still unknown. Now telling a story about when I was 23 and giving candy & toys to a child just doesn't go well with the gossip of today about him. Especially when I tell, I had to ask him also to play in the corner. You work at amusement park you're also a baby-sitter but mostly for adults.
I laughed at the post about Juliet Prowse because I just read the book by Sinatra's old butler who says both Frank and JFK were astonished by the fact Prowse was smooth shaved. In the '60s that was unusual but she was a dancer and dancers did that because of their skimpy attire.
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