9622.net

Is this the sort of expression I'm looking for - or what?

Miguel, I hate to tell you this...but that first photo...well, ahem, is a DOG.

I really expected a monkey.

Oh definitely! It's the prevaricating finger.

The sad news is that here at Ashcroft Enterprises, our IS overlords are installing some new web-use spy stuff, and I fear that soon my visits to 9622 will be horribly foreshortened. At least until the novelty of thought-patrolling wears off.

Is that a brain in the dogs bowl?

When I'm trying to explain something from the site to my wife, she will always say, "Oh, did one of your MetaFilter friends say that?" And instead of saying, "No, it was on 9622.net." I just go..."Uh, yeah."

Or I'll say, "It was on the OTHER MetaFilter thing."

Or I'll just say that I made it up myself.

Such as: At Mardi Gras this weekend, some hootchie mama walked by and I elbowed my brother and said (very loudly), "Look at the shitter on that critter!"

And later, the little woman said, "You must have gotten that off MetaFilter, because you're not that funny."

This is why I had no desire to order a bowling shirt (cool as they were). It's difficult enough trying to explain the site to the wife. Imagine trying to explain to perfect strangers.

LOL! My fiancee refers to all of you (everyone at all three mefi hangouts) as my "two-dimensional friends." Luckily she is a monkey lover herself, as some of you know who have seen her paintings. She's used to it by now. With other people I just say that it's a website. Period. You folks have more "real" qualities than a lot (not all) of people I'm in law school with. Too many still haven't learned not to take themselves so seriously. How do you explain to people who are not close friends what is going on here? Any suggestions? I usually just say that it's just a website and quickly move on to something else.

I don't even mention it to most people. I have a few select freinds who I think would "get it." I sent a freind here and had here read the infamous VD thread among others, and she said that when she "finishes laughing her lungs out through her asshole" she may contribute.

I showed another freind the thread at Kaf's site about the self-mashing potato, I don't think I've ever seen her laugh as hard.

I introduced three "real world" friends to MetaFilter. People who I thought would "get it."

None of them lasted a week.

Try getting regular blue collar type people to call you "dong".

The minute I mention "Internet" and "friends" in the same sentence, the eyes glaze over.

When I went to London & met Walrus & Jude (whose screen name eludes me at the moment), I had to explain to my friend who I was meeting. I said "Oh they're just people I *cough* know from *cough* mumble mumble website mumble mumble."

I've been meaning to ask this of the married crew. With the exception of Adam & Walrus, nobody's significant other ever posts here. Is it because it's "your" area and they don't want to encroach? Or because we're all crazy? Do they ever swing by to see what smack you're talkin'?

Or is it that they just don't know how many of your bodily functions 9622 has control over?

Column C.

When I met Kafkaesque in New Orleans, my brother kept referring to him as my "internet date." He and my sister-in-law were taking bets on how big of a freak he would be. "He's from California, bruh! He ain't gonna eat fried food."

They were disappointed by Kaf's (relative) normality.

I refer to it as "the monkey site I go to", when people say "what's that?" I say "um...it's just about monkeys" and leave it at that. they probably think it's like National Geographic or something.

I would never, EVER discuss 9622 with the squares. They just don't understand. I mean, you shoulda seen the looks I got in NY when I told them I was going to a Mefi meetup. "Now, wait, you're going to a party in Brooklyn? And you've never met these people? It's an internet thing?" Yeesh.

The office sidlers know that my browser is likely to have something odd on it, so a picture of (for example) a monkey eating a burrito and playing an accordian would not generate much concern or question.

MissusFes is not all that interested, to be honest. She gets the same look on her face when I mention "internet friends" as she does when I mention wargaming or beer brewing - beatific indulgence. She's an elementary school teacher - it comes with the territory. And in return for that indulgence, I do my part to make sure that her life doesn't suffer for my odd digital pecadilloes.

Or that you're into crazy monkey sex.

I'm not embarrassed about my "internet communities" or meeting people from MeFi or 9622, I just don't want people asking about the site and then showing up and revealing all sorts of skeletons. Like the fact that I'm actually a 400 lb man living in South Dakota.

...whose screen name eludes me at the moment...

roobarb.

We need member pages. Suitably wacked member pages, of course.

We need member pages

Does anyone here NOT have a blog?

Roobarb! That's it. Thank you, Detective. You may have just saved a life.

The absolute worst is trying to explain net humor.
I gave the All your base thing a good 20 minutes with my non-interweb people back when that happened, even delving into the background of the Zero Wing game, and how the meme form of humor goes back to the earliest written hieroglyphs, which was probably a lie, and I eventually just gave up.

I don't have a blog. I am blogless. Or, as I prefer to call myself: blogfree.

I don't have a blog.

Well, the both of you, get one. I've got one. Last updated in September, I think. Very simple and effective.

I dunno, people told me to get a blog for like a year, and I finally got one, and then I ran out of shit to say.

Yeah, me too. But some things simply must be done for the sake of form, you know? *shrug*

Having nothing to say never stopped me from talking.

I thought of the idea of user pages a while back, but didn't bring it up, I guess because it could come off as kinda exclusionary. It would be neat, and if done right it could be fun.

We did, long ago, plan to compile a list of all our blogs. Is that something we should finally do?

I guess because it could come off as kinda exclusionary

Yes, I don't think it should be exclusionary, and I think the best way is to have some sort of template that could be easily filled out and submitted -- and that anytime a new user posts, he or she should be encouraged to set up a user page.

Maybe it's too much work, though. This place seems to work best when it doesn't require too much effort.

Fuck it, dude. Let's bowl.

That's just, like, your opinion, man.

I'm sure I'm one of the last people to find this, but I'm in love:

The Bush/Blair music video

No, you're the second last. That was funny.

You're in love? Look at the two of them, eh?

There's one guy at work who knows about the existence of this place, and that's only because over the last year (before I ever heard of this place and met all my new frie-ends!) we've collected an entire wall full of monkey articles clipped from papers all over the place, just to break up the monotony of work. You know.

Aside from that, I don't hide it from anyone, but it doesn't really come up, except as "this website where someone found [_________]."

Running out of things to say on your blog can be big problem. I've spent many months wrestling with this dilemma, and after long hours in the lab I feel that I have come up with the answer (or as we call it in the scientific community: "theoretical quasi-solution").

At first it almost seemed too obvious to me. How could people not have realized this sooner? The answer to writer's block that has plagued the creative community for millenia is:

My g/f is the only one aware of it, and she has absolutely no interest in on-line people. It didn't even really get brought up until I got my CafePress beer mug with tj's great logo on it. When asked about it, I just shrugged and said "off shoot of MeFi, you know MetaFilter? it's about monkeys and people dicking around all day at work or drubk at home." She just kind of said "oh" and asked me to take out her trash.

kaf, you're a genius!

I'll never go wordless again! Bless you!

Back in a sec, thundersluts! I've got me some blogging to do!

Just use your new powers for good only, young Chico. Or to harass the lower mammals.

He must've died while carving it.

Yes, but why would he carve "eeeeeaaaarrrrrrrrggghhh...."

No, no, AAAAARRRRGGGGGHHHH, in the back of the throat.

Is anyone planning on coming to Winnie's in NYC on the 22nd?

see here

Come see the violence inherit in the system! Help, help, I'm being repressed!

Hey ana, I started another thread here, since the other one was closed. Personally, I think MeFi karaoke is just a bad idea.

"Tie a yellow ribbon..."

I don't care about the karaoke, I just want to hang out while I'm in the city.

pour enough booze down me and I could be coaxed into a version of "Bohemian Rhapsody" if I had the right backup singers.

I can sing "Mama Mia" with the best of 'em.

"... and my next number will be an enchanting little tune from a british singer who goes by the name of Joseph Cocker..."

and asked me to take out her trash.

but, did you get some spending cash?

At my work's Christmas party, they had a deadly combination: Karaoke and NO BOOZE!

You can't have one without the other!

We all rely on the booze to make us forget any unfortunate earworms, like say, a rousing rendition of

Shoot that poison arrow through my hea-ar-ar-art.

Well, at my house I just call it the "monkey site". My husband pretty much ignores it except to ask how Miguel is doing once in awhile.

But trust me. You don't want him here. After all HE is the one that called Matthowie's cell phone when I got kicked off the blue site. Behind my back, I might add. O the horror!

Man Mig, I tried to answer your thread, W/o double posting, to sum it up: on preview, What everyone else has said.

PS, why is it we think those outside of our surroundings have no idea of our lives, but we have no problem spewing the knowledge we share? No answer to the question as it was phrased as a dog who chases its tail, there is no point, to point, it goes in circles, that's why.

Oooh, kaf. That's harsh. Sorry.

I don't know. It's not the worst idea. And I wouldn't mind just hanging out with y'all neither.

And hey, those of us who don't (or won't) sing can mock applaud wildly. I could see it working.

The thing is, you can't really hang out and have a conversation while people are caterwauling all around you.

Song guaranteed to have everyone sing along:

Bon Jovi's "You Give Love a Bad Name."

I've sung karaoke exactly twice, Johnny Cash both times. I don't think I need to do it again. Luckily, the MeFi people in Southern Califronia couldn't organize anything if their lives depended on it, so I don't have to worry about it.

A good year for Mardi Gras. Next year, all you bastards are coming down.

Weary New Orleans rests after Mardi Gras

· Arrests were up 27 percent, with police making 1,634 arrests compared to 1,189 last Carnival.

· Major crime -- robberies, batteries and assaults -- dropped 42 percent, from 207 last Carnival to 120 this season.

· A volunteer clean-up force logged 2,200 hours to bolster the city's normal sanitation efforts.

"New Orleans should be proud it carried out its Mardi Gras traditions in high style this year despite some challenges," Nagin said.

ColdChef, I would totally be there! Actually, if you invited us to New Orleans any old day of the year, I'd say yes.

We should plan a 9622 meet-up for the cd swap and swap our discs in person. Swap disc karaoke, even.

The thing is, you can't really hang out and have a conversation while people are caterwauling all around you.

After reading why MF can't do politcal discussions, I see why the meet-up is up for Karaoke.

So is this our common, we love to socialize, I do, like an idol, Dean Martin, with a drink in hand. Face it, life is a circle, no matter where you start or stop, you always make it back around again, hopefully with a drink in hand, or a round for the table;P

I refuse to face the fact that life is a circle.

Life is more like a dodecahedron, and a really sharp and pointy one at that.

Witchie its the only way to roll along,& Kaf you do have a point.

I thought the only way to roll along was merrily. Jeez, all my paradigms are shifting.

St. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band

Saint Pepper?

He's the saint in the purple satin jacket.

Witchie--Hi-larious video!

And the webby thing, my husband thinks it's a nice time-waster or something. And having an online journal was fine with him, until I started writing one as someone fictional. Then he got worried. But fictional life is so much more exciting than non-fiction, I never ran out of things to say..

Who knows? He might have something to worry about!

Some quick points to make:

Ay to the members' pages.

Welcome back, Witchy.

When I tell my coworkers about meetups and things, I just expect them to think that I spend my time in chat rooms. When I've tried to explain 9622, I find myself lying about it as a "discussion forum".

But we discuss things!

And why did you welcome me back? Was I gone?

I can't believe I wrote St. Pepper. That's hilarious.

Whenever I'm at home and decide to drop in to 9622, my little 2-1/2 year old daughter inevitably sees it and shouts across the room "I want to see the Monkeys!", running over hoping for a Monkey Tour.

Her favorite items from the internet include Monkey/Panda/Asimo(robot) Photos from Yahoo News, the 9622.net mascot image, and this odd photo-portrait toy.

Dr. Pepper?

Pips likes 9622. She says it's the funniest place on the web. She's smarter and wittier than me* so she should post here more.

Let's apply massive amounts of peer pressure so she does!!

*then again so is a brick of Velveeta...

Don't sell yourself short, jon. I think you're smarter than Velveeta.

Perhaps you're right, but I'm not as smart as Brie. It's that European schooling.

9622: not as smart as Brie

Yeah, but who can say they haven't been occasionally outsmarted by a wily camembert?

Melts betta than chedda.

Yeah, but who can say they haven't been occasionally outsmarted by a wily camembert?

Technically I can, but I'm afraid that it had more to do with the roquefort I was with than any wit on my part.

my little 2-1/2 year old daughter inevitably sees it

Oh. Oh dear.

True, witchest.

Using roquefort as a crutch is not a very gouda habit to fall into.

behold the power of cheese

Venezuelan Beaver Cheese?

It always comes back to Monty Python, doesn't it.

Get your free samples!

Cheese waits in the darkness, plotting its evil dreams of world dominion.

Even now, at your local cheese shop, the Morbier is nudging the Stilton and whispering "soon, my friend, soon." in a whispery cheese-breath.

I just pretend you're all brilliant old men (no women, funnily enough) exchanging and critiquing eachother's first drafts, and that I'm lucky I have the secret password to look into your musings, from which so much inspiration, pointers and words of technical wisdom arise.

The monkeys I explain as an oblique reference to a dead founder which I don't get but am too shy to ask about.

I describe each of you as the new someone-or-another. Jon is the new Kerouac, etc.

Awful, but true.

It would, of course, be difficult to raise up a standing armée de fromage because, as we all know from childhood...the cheese stands alone.

I met someone once who doesn't like obscene amounts of parmesan on their pasta. I think they were an alien.

Then I, sir, am an alien!

I hate parmesan. I am not an alien.

They are not aliens, adam. They are simply non-Italians. But nobody's perfect, eh, paisan?

Just to thicken the plot further, I must point out that I also hate pasta.

Migs--Why no cranky old broads? I'd say we're almost 50/50 here, unlike alotta other sites....Just curious.

Because he can't figure out how to turn on our myriad of switches and knobs!

It is perplexing!

Are you trying to say that there is a difference between men and women, and that this can sometimes be pointed out for humorous effect?

I want to be the New Haley Joel Osment.

I see...um...dead...stuff...

Even now, at your local cheese shop, the Morbier is nudging the Stilton and whispering "soon, my friend, soon." in a whispery cheese-breath.

The Stilton had better watch out. The cow's milk faction will stab a member of the sheep's milk faction in the back any day of the week. To say nothing of the horrors they inflict on those of the goat's milk persuasion.

Then there's the always unpredictable rogue aerosol faction...

Um, I thought Haley Joel Osment was the new you.

And I would pay to see a band called Goat's Milk Persuasion. Just to hear what they'd sound like.

they're not ba-a-a-a-d

*shoots self in head*

* shoots kaf in head two or three more times. just to be sure. *

You shouldn't have shot him, he was only a scapegoat!

Actually, I think I may pull through.

*shoots tizzie point blank*

*turns to lupo*

Well, I think our work here is done, don't you?

*is raptured*

No, no, Kaf, brave soul, you shall stay here, and I...I shall undertake a perilous quest to win freedom for a maiden and eternal fame for myself. Farewell, Kaf!!

Gimme some sugar, baby....

*rides off into the sunset*

*unraptures*

Dammit, lupo, I said kill, not wound! I guess if I want a job done, I have to do it myself.

*shoots kaf again*

*reraptures*

Hmm. Lupo, I think we may be in totally different films.

*runs off and stabs people*

It's this terrible asterisk violence that I object to so str--

*is stabbed*

Hmmm... I'm doing "Weekend at Bernie's 2". What are you in?

*wanders through--whistling and stealing the change out of your corpses' pockets*

Who shot me? Thanks, thanks a bunch.

Who shot me? Thanks, thanks a bunch.

Even in heaven it won't post, dammit!

Let's not bicker and argue about who killed who.

All I said was "Have a nice day", and he shot me, man!

*nukes the site from orbit*

*mumbles to self: "it's the only way to be sure... it's the only way to be sure..."

Fes, you old BBS-lovin' dog, you!

woof!

I for one welcome our n...

*shoots self*

{{ring, ring}}
Peter Falk:Hello,

Thom: Yes, Mr Columbo, we may need your assistance, do what, no really, ok...hold on.

[Thom goes & gives everyone a good kick]

Thom: Sir, come quick.
Peter Falk: why?

{{{beep beep}}}

Peter Falk: the line gone dead, hmmm someone hand me my cigar.

*tiptoes, whispers*
Sure is quiet in here...

*faintly audible howling*

*chirp chirp*

*chirp chirp*

*sound of scratching on windshield*

So this quiet, you say it....

*is shot by everyone who raises themselves from the death to do it*

Ummm - is it too late to talk about how I handle the delicate subject of the interaction of the MeFi/9622 world with the "real" one? Because I just wanted to say that I had almost convinced Mrs. Commish that neither one was a "chat room", and I wasn't spending all my spare time trying to pick up 16-year olds of indeterminate gender, and then #mefi comes along and I have to admit that, well yeah, that really is a chat room, but the people in it are still the same bunch of intelligent and erudite persons who - um - talk about monkeys and such, and ...

Aw, I knew nobody'd be around this late, anyway.

Shoot.

NO! Wait! I didn't mean -

* falls down dead *

Explain this to my wife...are you kidding?

She's freaked out enough by the fact that I spend all my waking hours either surfing MeFi/MeTa or chatting with "people you don't even know" on #mefi...I don't think she's ready to hear about 9622...

What Fes so eloquently said goes for me as well.

um, where is everyone?

I'm drubk and have no one to play with

* Plays with tj, then stabs him *

urp, koff, die

and welcome, gsteff, apparently the new initiation is stabbing one of the admins, congrats!

how very Golden Bough....

Awful lotta nice lookin' corpses in here...

The things that happen here when I spend an hour or two playing Jedi Outcast.

*impales self on lightsaber*

(by the way, I'm working on the babysitting for the next Meetup, which I only found out about yesterday. my brother will be in Detroit having surgery, so my parents will be with him, but aw's parents should be able to provide dino-sitting for us. yes, jasper is convinced that he is an eoraptor.)

Oh my gosh, it's an eoraptor! Run for your lives!!!

(unless you're already dead, at which point it's pointless)

*crashes through the wall in a rocket ship Flash Gordon-style and impales Jeffrey Dahmer with the pointy bit*

Your non-violated corpses can thank me later.

Cool, Poulos. You even matched the woodgrain. Kudos.

danke.

Kudos for Poulos and Germany
Winter for Poland and France.

[man with smoke rings above his head, thinking with his hand to his jaw]
Peter Falk: So let me get this straight, your saying a EORAPTOR, is our man. hmmmm.

Peter Falk: Let me write this down..e o r a ptor.. ok so you say it's green with scarry claws...oh dear, me!

*switches channel*

Your honor I'd like to request a 15-minute recess to take care of some personal, absorbant-adult-undergarment-related business...

I'd just like to say that the dog featured in the picture that began this particular bout of navel gazing is really cute. He looks like he's had a hard day pulling someone's sled and is ready for a cold one.

...and below him Mr Powell is saying, just a little more guy you can do it.
[dog scratches nuts in reply]

Ruff, Ruff Mr kaf
[dog pours beer into bowl]
Arf you go..excuse-arf the brain food...arf arf.

The upturned hind legs look odd, as if he only goes downhill. Is he a tobogganer among sled dogs? (Not that he doesn't deserve a cold one).

*heads off to search for a picture of a luging sled dog*

I think he's just trying to elevate his tired foots.

More like he's trying to keep its arse off the ice, it cold. Looking at the dogs futher down I take this idea. But I have seen dogs in the snow slide on their ass this way, like liam may have been eluding too. Tobogganer-dog indeed.

Wow.

On the weekends, Jasper teaches me how to promounce the names of all the dinosaurs.

I just noticed that the dog in the photo has its hind legs hoisted. As though it has been poked in the rear by some cartoon rabbit, and is now trying to treat said wound by plunging it deep into the snow.

(on preview: X-Post. but oh well.)

(btw: greetings, all. my first hello after submitting to the filth that is 9622. everything right is wrong again.)

Salutations!

Dennis, there's some lovely filth down here!

"HELP HELP! I'm being repressed!"

I just said that!

Come and see the oppression of the masses!

welcome kaibutsu.

I need to come here more often. By the time I get to a thread, it's all over.

Perhaps it's cause and effect, walrus.

A note about posting images:

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