9622.net

I wouldn't dream of it, Migs. I already have that look without trying.

Actually, My Uncle Vinny used to work for Donald Trump. He was a blackjack dealer at the Taj Mahal in Atlantic City. He even met him a few times.

Oh my god. That Trump picture is deliciously hideous.

Mostly Michael Bolton's long flowing locks drove me crazy (he's cut them off now). I love long hair, but many men need to realize that if there is thinning on the top, no amount of length is going to make up for it. It just looks BAD. Cut that shit, off, man!

Two words: Steven Seagal.

and two more words: Action Lama.

On the other head, isn't it amazing how slimming blonde hair can be?

Wow. (NSFW --ed)

Still on the belly dance theme, there's the blowsy Bagdhad style, as captured by Peter Hairnet.

Can I do that image inline? NSFW, but it's no cool.

I would, Adam. It's too far down in the thread to cause trouble - and it's innocent enough!

I wouldn't Adam. I tend to actually read the threads and hence would come across the image and then get fired.

Nope. Don't do it, son.

Wouldn't go over too well for me.

Diego Maradona was a great football player, don't forget.

Now if only I could find a pic of great Spanish film director Pedro Almodovar...

Me, I'm going for the freshly-arrested Nick Nolte look. [So don't even dream of it, jonmc!]

Looking at Nick, that is how I looked this morning no joke...even mentioned in my blog my new look way back before folks seemed to think long...in a way doing it for my hippie dad.

I wouldn't either - as usual, I didn't think. Coming here is something I do instead of working - I keep forgetting those who can work and play at the same time. Sorry, Lupo - I've been disappointing you lately, I know. I feel bad about it, damn.

Anyway, from big mouths to big heads, on which no hair, no matter how lustrous and full, can look good. [Guaranteed no photoshopping involved; all proceeds to the Bill Wyman Cranium Reduction Centre.]

Aw, ok. But do promise to take a gander at it when (you think) your boss isn't around to see.

Either my skull is getting bigger or my skin is shrinking.

Aw, think nothing of it, my friend from across the pond. I just have a particularly sensitive (read: prudish) workplace.

I used to, but you know how perverted us cows are.

Oh Adam, that's cuuute! But it's not right for the thread, if only because she has a perfectly acceptable hairstyle.

And Jon, the size of your head has nothing to do with shrinking skin. Rather, it's because you're surrounded by people who keep reminding you of your own inherent greatness, savoire faire and class in the face of all the abject indignities of the world. Or some shit like that.

Man, if I had a nickel for every time I saw a naked chick dancing with a chimpanzee, I'd have $21.35.

People! The server is made of people! It's people!

On the other hand, I'm quite disturbed by the fact that Charlton Heston fits comfortably in the middle of my name.

I would like to point you all to a video of some of the most spectacular drubkenness ever recorded.

Thank you.

Er, try this link. Trust me, you'll want to see this.

Damn. That's some fine drubkenness. One to show the grandkids.

Some have noted that Peter Arnett bears a startling resemblance to "The Creature" in Young Frankenstein.

And Jon, the size of your head has nothing to do with shrinking skin.

Jon's statement struck me as more: too, it. So which head were you talking about Jon?

Wow. Wow. It's a real thing of beauty, to catch someone that far gone.

They're such a cute couple, him egging her to keep walking and her not able to form words.

(Is this film eligible for Oscar consideration next year?)

On particularly bad days, let a particularly bad boa take the rap.

Now that's not safe for work.

That's what would have happened to Daryl Hannah if Deckard hadn't put her out of her misery.

Then we're stupid and we'll die!

Ok, so she had good hair and all, but goddamn it, nekkid chicks dancing with monkeys can go in any thread, as far as I am concerned. Can I get a witness?

*witnesses*

Actually that's how my head was physically feeling, plus my teeth hurt, and I'm a total dentophobe, but I'll probably have to bite the bullet and go. Hold me mommy.

Plus the naked chick monkeydance didn't work on my machine and no one loves naked chicks more than I.

On the plus side the pushcart guy didn't gimme any lip when I asked for mustard on my fries.

Brittney: thanks for the lovely video. That girl is a walking advertisement for drubkeness. There are good drunks and bad drunks, these last being 99%. She I'd classify as a great drunk.

I love how she, while slumped against the wall, making unintelligable, unearthly sounds, flashes a peace sign.

Good will to mankind, indeed.

Yes, that video was great.

Thanks Brit, agree Mig...don’t mind females when the get durbnk but that was defiantly not sexy fun drunk. More like babysitting time durbnk...you know, where you have to baby-sit the fool, then when not in the bathroom like you have better things to do with your time. But instead you watch and wait near by with your cordless-porcelain-teleee so they can have a close call to Raaalph on the bucket line...

Dude. Seriously, what the heck are you talking about?

That drubk chick in the video made more sense than that.

I like Sharon Osbourne's hair.

Michael Jackson's, on the other hand, has to GO.
Along with the rest of his face.

Re the first pic on this thread-Ivana and Marla must be very happy women now.

Ivana and Marla, while no doubt happy, are I'm sure trying to wash every vestige of that man out of their (bountiful, both of them) hair.

Seriously. Imagine actually having that hair in your bed. (Repeatedly.) Euch. It looks like cotton candy at the end of a hot day.

I'm enjoying being grossed out by things today.

Dude. Seriously, what the heck are you talking about?
Folks, you have never had to baby-sit a drunk? Let me shake your hand if you have not. Take the but out; should throw up better:P

I like Sharon Osbourne's hair.That pic is of Sharon?

Nothing could ever compare to the hair you will witness at this frightening concert event.

I never know how to respond to Thomcatspike's words... Should I be happy, because I really do understand them, or should I, based on the words of my peers, be fearing for my sanity? I don't know...

That said, I think I shall relate my highest achievement of the last twenty-one-and-a-few-months years.

This happened the night of the January protests in Washington D.C.; I had driven down from Boston with my old friend Jeff, whom I hadn't seen in months, and Rahul, whom I had been hanging out with in Budapest during the winter semester. Rahul was hosting us; we stayed with his Uncle Giti, a seventy-year-old goat of an Indian, outside the city.

After the protest, we swing by the house to bpick up our things and hit the road. Rahul wanders off to do something typically responsible, leaving Jeff, Giti and myself in the kitchen.

Giti: "Can I offer you something to drink? We have milk, soda, water, orange juice, whiskey..."

Jeff and I swing to attention.

Jeff: "Whiskey? Why, yes, I'd love some whiskey."
Me: "You'll drink with us, won't you?"

The next thing I know, we've finished a bottle of Wild Turkey, and Giti has brought out a bottle of 30-year-old Jack Daniel's. Which we, completely belligerant already, proceed to kill.

We all then decide to stay in D.C. for the night, and have dinner at a nice Greek place down the street, where Jeff is unable to read the menu, so we get into an argument about who is better at ordering food. Every five minutes, someone asks us to keep our voices down. Giti promises to meet us in Singapore, if we ever call him from that faraway land. I spend hours hitting on Rahul's high-school girl friend who we picked up on the way down, and whom I'm fully certain I'll never see again. According to later reports, I was gesticulating wildly through the entire affair, nearly hitting people just outside my frame of vision at every pass. Jeff ends up spending a lot of time locked in the bathroom, not actually throwing up, it turns out, but looking at things, and contemplating them.

The next day, on the road, Rahul calls Jeff and I "ridiculous," and says that we were "exactly stereotypical drunks." This is, needless to say, the highest compliment either of us has ever recieved. We laugh outloud at the mention of the words "stereotypical drunks" from that day forward.

(ok, that was long. don't hate me because i'm beautiful!)

*this reminds me that I still haven't found the occasion for killinng that bottle of absinthe sitting in my room yet. I smuggled the thing across at least four borders, and now it's just collecting dust...*

I have a friend who frequently pisses off everyone at every table around us at restaurants, usually before the mass quantities of alcohol begin to pass through our system.

Also, at the moment, my hair resembles that of a Journey Air-Keyboardist, so I am very offended by this thread.

And it's been a long long long time since I've been drubk. I mean, in the months or something.

So, wait, did you mean Rahul's girlfriend from when he was in high school, or his current girlfriend who is still in high school, or both?

It's just not Journey without Steve Perry.

It's still just Journey with Steve Perry, however.

kaibutsu, that rocks.

"*this reminds me that I still haven't found the occasion for killinng that bottle of absinthe sitting in my room yet..."

A man went to his doctor, very concerned.

"You've got to help me, Doc," he said. "I've been passing gas lately and I
haven't been able to control it. It comes out no matter where I am or who
I am with. And to make matters worse, it makes a noise I've never heard
before."

"What do you mean?" asked the doctor.

It makes a sound like 'HONNN-DA'. . .just like that. It's weird. And
people turn around and stare at me worse than if I just fluffed in the
regular way. It's embarrassing."

"I can imagine," said the doctor. "I've never heard of this symptom
before, but I'll look it up."

The doctor got out a huge medical book and began thumbing through the
pages. "Suzuki. . .no. . .Kawasaki. . .no, that's not it. Ah, here it
is, 'HONDA." He looked up at the patient and said, "You've been drinking
absinthe, haven't you?"

"Why, yes I have," said the man, astonished. "But how could you possibly
know that?"

"Well, it says right here, 'absinthe makes the fart go HONDA!'

*kaibutsu stares blankly at the punch line for a moment, then starts twitching, rocking back and forth, holding his hands to his temples...*

i think you broke something...

Pentagon Believes Iraqi TV Tape of Saddam May Not Be Recent

War is ugly.

I think she must have been drubk.

Once, when drunk, I was convinced to shave my head to a length of about 2 inches...and dye it fire engine red. It was not a good look for me.

Talk about your hangovers...

Um...shave the hair...not the head. Oh, you know what I meant. ;)

You know, I like that 9622 is not only FIRST in this google search, but furthermore that members are responsible for most of the top ten. Furthermore, I think this article which turned up in aforementioned search, explains a lot about one of our most beloved contributors.

Heh kaibustu. And damn proud of it, too. Though like all serious boozers, we were surprised to hear it. In fact we find it funny - and a bit offputtinh that the rest of the world drinks so little:

Like what do you pussies have with your lunch and dinner?

Kaibutsu - dammit, some Freudian knot is at work in my brain!

I shaved my head right at the start of the war. I figured that if I'm gonna feel like shit, I might as well look like shit.

And I do look like shit.

Right now, I have that "the-chemo-went-fine" look.

I have never shaved anthing other than my face and I'm not very good at that. I usually end up looking like I had a fight with an electric knife.

What's also odd is my upper body is nearly hairless but my legs are downright furry. I look like I tried to do full-body depilatory and got bored halfway through.

Like what do you pussies have with your lunch and dinner?

Now, I reckon this is Miguel trying on 'American Idiom', and failing in an amusing European way, mostly because we know he ain't. American, that is. Cute, sure. Cutest damn Portuguese-English author I've ever known!

"Like what do you pussies have with your lunch and dinner?"

Hm. Not myself, unfortunately.

(ba dum dum.) Thanks folks. I'll be here all, um, morning.

Foda-se! Why is it, every time I try to unobtrusively slip my way into the culture here, Mr. Mindreader Man is standing by to stamp his big, muddy, gay Royal Canadian Mounted Police boots all over my fake poor immigrant's passport? ;)

Like what do you pussies have with your lunch and dinner?

Don't let them hassle you, Miguel (although the question does, for some reason, generate an appetite for [ahem] pie). Around here, most of the pussies have iced tea with their meals, it's goddamned pitiful. I typically have either a vodka and tonic (no smell! you can be drunk all day, and the prudes are none the wiser) or a Sam Adams lager of some sort, although occasionally a Guinness, and there's a brew pub nearby that has an excellent Pilsner they serve that goes great with their beef stew. For dinner, a glass (perhaps 2) of bardolino or valpolicella (for the heart, don't you know). I cap off the evening depending on mood and season. In winter, homebrew and a tot of Rumplemintz; Spring is the season for gimlets (and homebrew); homebrew summer ales through the hot months, and in autmumn a pony glass of either Bailey's or Drambuie (and a homebrew). And although I've officially put down the coffin-nails, I must confess I still occasionally sneak a smoke out the back porch.

ah, miguel... one day you'll learn that i'm really only in it for the benefits.

Like what do you pussies have with your lunch and dinner?

Company work standards: two beers or more, as long as it does not affect your work, or effect...whoops one too many…Main office has a keg every Friday, in San Diego…

With lunch: Kool-Aid

with dinner: Lately, Newcastle Brown Ale.

Fes: you, Sir, are a true American gentleman and know how to live. I raise my Knickerbocker Glory to you!

[From kaibutsu's big-breasted Mountie link:]

Starring:

Isis Nile
Asia Carrera
Misty Rain
Sahara

What is it with these porn stars and geography? Deltas, Savannahs... Is there a Tundra Omsk? And, if there is, is she intelligent, outgoing and interested in alfalfa?

Sweet Southern ice tea.

My son shaves his head, especially before drill meets. Looks scary, but he ain't.

If you have ever seen a picture of a falcon, you know what he looks like (the expression, not the feathers.) And I raised him on sweet tea and ice cream.

Yes, I know I'm random today. Too much sunlight. (seriously!)

Like what do you pussies have with your lunch and dinner?

Your question reminded me when I worked in the automation field, we had these cabinets that we put the PLCs in...Anyway all the German ones had a universal key, that was really useless, you could pick the lock with a tooth pick, but the reps pointed out one main feature to these keys & being under 21 at the time, thought cool, the feature: opening the tops of your bottled beverage, those Germans do know the key to lunch.

Thom, you need to get out of the sun too. ;-)

actually, need some sun, been inside way too long, the sun brings smiles...even when you are burnt, becuase you smile at everyone hoping no one slaps your back...try it.

because:becuase, how you would say it after some one slapped your burnt back.

you, Sir, are a true American gentleman and know how to live. I raise my Knickerbocker Glory to you!

You shame me with your praise, Miguel. It is my fervent hope that someday I may aspire to be a bon vivant as debonaire, loquacious and charming as yourself. Until that day arrives, my glass, whatever its content, is continually raised to your health and prosperity.

You know something, since I've never heard most of you all speak. I always "hear" eyeballkid and kaf's posts in these laid-back SoCal surfer accents. ColdChef sounds, in my head at least like that cajun chef who used to be on PBS all the time, and Brittney drips twang like a Dixie Chick. I'm probably completely wrong but what the fuck.

I wonder if us tri-staters all sound like John Travolta, dese-ing and dose-ing and youse-ing all over the place. Except for poulos and the commish up in mass. who I'll bet you have dropping r's like cliffy claven.

Just a thought.

Though here in St. Louis the accent is strap-flat midwestern (save for the regional modification of the word "forty" to "farty"), I apparently still retain my Chicago clip. Which, according to reports, gets worse as I drink, until deep in my cups I could be heard to say "Yo, guh, lez blaze! I got a fin from my ma, dat'l buy us a coupla dogs wit everyting and anadda brewski."

My brothers tell me I talk like a hick though. Whertever, y'all.

McNally's hearing voices again...

Post, homie!

Conversely, in my head all of you sound like Madge from those Palmolive commercials. Especially, you, Jon. C'mon, type "your soaking in it!" for me. Once is all I ask.

youse soakin' in it.

And fes ain't kiddin' about chicago accent of his. sounded like one of the Superfans. In real life I speak in pretty much a non-stop highspeed slurring mumble.

Actually, none of the NYC mefites had any audible New York inflections.

I forgot to mention TJ. In my head he just slurs a lot.

I've lived in too many places to have one accent. Hell, I was doing Maggie Thatcher impersonations at the age of 8. Mostly I usually just sponge off of whoever I'm talking to, which is probably annoying, but I can't seem to help it.

if by slur, you mean shouting profanity, then you're absolutley right.

and "drips twang like like a Dixie Chick" just sounds dirty.

I always "hear" eyeballkid and kaf's posts in these laid-back SoCal surfer accents.

So in your head at the beginning of each sentence you add, dude, pause, then end it with dude again?
I hear your accents in your writings all. The flow of one's tongue hangs above the words one writes.

All of you are just words on a screen. No accents, just thoughts in my brain. Thinking of any of you actually SPEAKING would be rather traumatic. More iced tea, please.

Witchstone, do I have a Kentucky accent? C'mon, be brutally honest!

And jpoulos, you heard me one the radio. Do I sound like Loretta Lynn?

I couldn't tell what sort of accent you had beneath the drunken rambling.

No, you don't have a Kentucky accent as far as I can tell.

That's reassuring. My hiccups were content-neutral.

That's reassuring. My hiccups were content-neutral.
Are we talking sounds or smells now?
Because I'm burping my lunch now, got have a mint for my onion breathe :P

Got said it as a child, now say it because of hearing the word so much in Texas. Anyone else stuck with some crappy vocabulary because of where you moved?

The only one of you who have heard me speak is Brittney, who said I sounded like Carl the talking brain, from the Space Ghost classic "Chambraine".
I took that as a compliment.

Interestingly, Brittney sounds like Kurt Loder.

I sound like Brak.

I'm like Witchstone, I've lived all over the world, so I don't really have an accent that can be tied to any one location. Also, I do that thing with adopting local accents too. I don't mean to, but I, like Madonna, sported an English accent after I'd been in London for a few weeks.

But, for some reason, in Holland, I spoke Dutch, but apparently with a German accent...as everyone thought I was German...and in Paris, I announced myself as a Texan and said "Bon Jour, Y'all!", so I wouldn't have to massacre their language more than the one time it took for them to all speak English at me. (I've never gotten the hang of Romance Languages...I like a good gutteral diphthong...)

I haven't had a good guttural diphthong since I was an altar boy.

I'm given to Scottishisms like "on ye go" and "Christ there goes ma teeth", although I am in fact an utter american.
I've noticed these days I call my self an "utter american" interchangeably with the way I used to call myself an "utter asshole".

What was my point again?
Oh yes : eat more soy.

9622.net: I like a good gutteral dipthong

Jon said I sounded all mellow and shit when I talked to him at his old work. I've been told I have a midwestern sounding accent, though.

I also have no discernible regional character to my speech, which is strange since I am not that well travelled at all. My father is New York born and bred and is the only person on his side of the family without the tell-tale Queens nasality. Maybe it's some inherited accent gland malfunction.

According to Lisa, I do ponounce "Wolf" "woof" which she finds incredibly amusing for some starnge reason.

Nah, my cousin in Central Illinois has a midwestern accent. The kid sounds like a dang banjo. Adam has one of those unshakable calm voices like Carlton The Doorman on Rhoda.

Ditto what witchie and deja said. The family is currently making fun of my habits of using "eh?", "I reckon", "bikkies", and generally ending all statments with an upwards intonation.

Even speaking in Italian causes the natives to scratch their head a bit, as I work with a mix of different nationalities. Apparently I speak Italian Roman Slang with lashings of Aussie, Kiwi, Yank, and Romanian. Strangely enough, my French accent has improved, but I'll be damned if I can remember more than 3 phrases from high school.

I have a sometimes-cartoonish Boston accent, but my mother has the Mother of all Accents. It's some sort of offshoot of Bostonese and it's prevalent up in Lowell, where she grew up. She tends to put extra syllables in where they don't belong. "Pool" sounds like "POO-ell", for example. She also not only drops her R's, but changes the vowel sound altogether. "Short" no longer rhymes with "whore"--she pronounces it "shot" or "shawt".

Funny thing. I noticed just this morning that in certain circumstances I slip into it too. If, for example, I hold the door for someone and they thank me, I'll respond "SHOO-ah".

(I've never gotten the hang of Romance Languages...
It's all in the tongue...rolling your Rs, or ERs yet i have to thank my Scandinavian friends on this, as they talk from the back of the throat, ORs, then I was able to roll them ERs.
Aurora is a great name for rolling ERs.

Keep forgetting, anyone do the voice blogger? they had free trial of it, but I have yet to do it.

Keep forgetting, anyone do the voice blogger?

*shudders* 9 times out of 10 hearing a recording of my own voice causes me to faint in consternation.

The 10th time I'm usually drunk.

No, lupo, to truly hear the english language not only murdered but mutilated, you'd have to meet my maternal grandparents, who went straight from the Lombardi region of Italy to a tiny, almost completely Italian/Canuck town in Vermont's Green Mountains. They apparently speak Italian with a french accent, which when they speak english makes them sound vaguely Cajun. They've also regaled me with statements like "Jonata, Where Is You? Come in the Chicken, I need to talk it to you." and of colorful appellations like "salome en barca" and "bigliacco" & "brutta bescia." My grandfather was also fond of calling me "Cesare" back when I had a goatee, after some obscure Italian war hero named Cesare Battista, whom he said I looked like. And yes, they do wave there arms around when they talk and Nonno is fond of wife beater undershirts. He also reinforces rural North Country Stereotypes by loving pigfeet and Genesee beer.

Sometimes I like to hit my tongue with a mallet and then ask people stuff.

Sometimes I like to hit my tongue with a mallet and then ask people stuff.

I hope you ask them "Why?"

9622: "Short" no longer rhymes with "whore"

I'm not sure if there's a Detroit accent. I think we just mispronounce the word "roof." My grandmother had an annoying habit of pronouncing "wash" and "rinse" as "warsh" and "wrench." Drove me crazy.

Apparently Teej and I are hard to tell apart on the phone. I heard both of us back to back on an answering machine once, and I guess it's true. I'm a little raspier. Kinda like TJ doing a Nick Nolte impersonation. It was disappointing since I thought I was all satiny smoove.

I pronounce Brillo (as in, the pads) as Bree-lo, and aw thinks I'm pretty fucked up for that.

I don't know about my accent. I'm from California, which I think is a pretty light accent. I do say "dude" on occasion, I'll admit it.

and yet I pronounce Skee-Lo, Skillo... (not really)

Reports from the field seem to indicate that I sound like one of the Superfans. Based on recordings, I feel like I sound like the bearded baritone from the Oak Ridge Boys after two black beauties and a box of Antony y Cleopatra greens.

...I feel like I sound like the bearded baritone from the Oak Ridge Boys after two black beauties and a box of Antony y Cleopatra greens.

Whoah. Flashback. The Oak Ridge Boys' baritone always gave me special tingly feelings as a wee one. Yes, one of my first sexual crushes as a child was on a disembodied baritone floating from the speakers of the hi-fi. You may all commence laughing and pointing now.

Kaf, as a So Cal boy...bet you would have an accent to me, being a Northerner Californian, a light accent indeed, backed by the sounds of an educated vocabulary. Myself, I'm told I talk through my nasal passage...most southern take I guess that I'm from New York, yet I notice the guys in Texas who grew up in Orange Co, Ca. have a similar sound. But I say you guyz, not used guys...sheesh.

Dude,I forgot my ers, southerners, ay.

I'm definitely the type to pick up regional accents... I remembah tha first time I dropped an ah... I was making some inane comment about crossing the Chahales Rivah on the T, and stopped mid sentence to stare at my tongue, not understanding what it had just done. Two yeas of livin' in Medfahd didn't do much fah my English.

I also have no discernible regional character to my speech, which is strange since I am not that well travelled at all.

That's really odd, jon, in a synchronicitous kinda way. Just a couple of days ago, I was woolgathering and one of the things that pranced through my mind was that you might have a Sopranos kinda Noo Yawk accent. Dunno why.

Also, I am determinedly transoceanic in my accent, all though you might pick up a few bent vowels and cadences that belie my Canuckitude.

I have some free FTP-accessible webspace, and propose a 'Read Your Favorite 9622 Tagline' project. We can make and upload mp3s, and thus know forever how we all sound (fake Aussie accents not only accepted, but encouraged.)

Details to come later this afternoon! Ladies and gentlemen, start your microphones!

I sound like a deracinated English prick. I like all American accents - in fact every accent I've ever heard. Except maybe Geordie - that's the sound of Newkie Brown, jon.

I have heard the voices of some of my monkey-talkin' mates and what surprised me (I'd forgotten) is how polite and, at the same time, informal and welcoming.

MeFicionados were just as warm and soft-spoken. Then I'd wake up next day, open the Filter and find one of them had told me to go fuck myself.

I guess Americans use writing as psychoanalysis or something. For "something", the three words "severely screwed up" often spring to mind.

Healthy people are the other way round - bwahahahaha!

Kaf sounds like a normal person. He could be the serial killer, he's so normal.

Me, on the other hand? I sound like Cooter from the Dukes of Hazzard.

I hate my voice -- too damn nasal. Chronic allergies suck. I have no discernible regional accent, except for when I'm talking about the South or am homesick, and then the drawl creeps in. (Where I went to school in upstate NY, everyone told me I had a STRONG Southern accent, which is utterly laughable. Such statements usually caused me to lay a real Suthrun drawl on them.)

(and thank GOD I don't have the West Virginia twang that some of my extended family has.)

I sound just like Elmer Fudd, only on helium.

Honestly, I think I only have an Okie accent when I talk to one of my parents on the phone, but my wife still says I do. Of course, she can't pronounce either of the r's in "quarter".

Oh, and any word with three syllables really is stressed on the first syllable. UM-brell-a. PO-lice-man. IN-sur-ance. If you don't prounounce them that way, you just aren't speaking CO-rec-ly.

When the Rain comes, they run and hide their heads!

I sound like a newscaster, with a pretty bland but a fairly basso voice for a chick. All of my r's end up sounding like r's, I don't have any "watchoodoin'" type things going on, and basically, I could read the news and depress everybody with my sober yet aloof delivery.

Luckily, I'm neither sober nor aloof.

Yeah Kaf, I do the "dude" thing too. Also, "cool". And "groovy". Groovy really seems to confuse people. I find that amusing. ;)

Alright, I put my money where my mouth is, and throw down the guantlet : Wonderchicken Radio presents Faux Velvet Mockery. Nothing fancy, just a quick reading in a slightly goofy voice.

You wanna throw up a recording, just drop me an e-lectronic mail for the username/pass. I gots 20 Mb o' space - should be plenty.

Er, that eamil should be this.

Fubk me, I'm drubk.

OK, so I spent entirely too much time and energy on this, but it's the weekend so why the hell not. I've remixed myself with a hastily procured 'evaluation copy' of Sonic Foundry, which I will naturally delete from my system immediately.

It is dumb and quite lame, as I've never even attempted anything like this before, but I had some fun making it, and that's what counts, right?

I present to you: Velvet Mockery, The Remix.

Alright, I put my money where my mouth is

I read that as "put my monkey where my mouth is."

I need more ice tea. And chocolate. From Turkey.

Wonderchicken, that's fucking hilarious.

Freebird! Freeeeeebiiiiiiirrrd!!!!!

Late to the party as usual....oh well

In spite of my strictly Okie upbringing and spending the last five and a half years (minus about ten months) in Texas, I have no discernable accent either. But any time I feel it slipping in, I make a very conscious effort to suppress it like a marathon runner that is turtle-heading during a race.

The summer after my freshman year in Waco, I was selling diet pills at a kiosk in a mall in Tulsa. A lady came up to inquire about them, and while I was giving her the pitch, she interrupted me and asked me what part of Canada I was from. I laughed a bit and told her that I'd never been to Canada (which I hadn't at the time). She proceeded to ask me where I was raised and I told her that I'd lived my entire life in Ok and Tx. She didn't believe me, but oh well. The kicker is that she was Canadian herself and thought she had found some kindred canuck spirit. I apologized to her and sold her some diet pills.

Of all the accents that I've been accused of having, I've gotten Canadian by far the most. I can kick on a drawl if needed though. Same why my g/f who grew up in Honduras but went to bilingual school has no discernable accent but can sound like a 90 year old Colombian woman in ESL school when she feels it.

That woman developed a sort of reverse progeria from those diet pills, and when on to become Avril Lavigne.

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