Exhibit A: Bob Dylan out on the town
Exhibit B: Sumo wrestler
Exhibit C: Easter Penitents in Seville
Exhibit D: "Mask" by Ron Mueck
Exhibit E: British troops in Basra, Iraq
What do these five photographs have in common? Can you come up with one catch-all caption that is equally hilarious no matter what exhibit it applies to?
Nah, who am I kidding? It's just me. Just choose any pic. Please? *boo-hoo!* It's been a hard day on the ranch and I really could do with a laugh right now.
Posted by at April 15, 2003 06:40 PMExhibit A: "Hi, Gwyneth!"
Exhibit B: "Beans, beans, they're good for your heart..."
Exhibit C: "Where the white women at?"
Exhibit D: Steve @ Linnwood decides to retract his comments regarding foldy
Exhibit E: "Well, the lash wasn't so bad, and I'm really looking forward to the rum part..."
Haha! Thanks, Vidiot.
I toyed with Exhibit B - "The jury's still out", "9.8; 9.9; 10; 9.9, [deceased]", but gave up in the end. :)
Posted by: Miguel on April 15, 2003 10:40 PMWhoa, has anyone looked at this site on Apple's Safari? browser? Yikes!
Posted by: machaus on April 15, 2003 10:59 PMA ."Water? I quit drinking that in 1983. I'd never have made it without gum."
B. Tenki did as the police told him and shut his eyes and mouth tight, wondering just where they could possibly hide a man from the ever powerful Yakuza.
- or -
"These sobriety tests get worse every year."
- or -
Masterful use of color assures that Yugi will never be dethroned in the centuries old of discipline of "shit origami".
C.
"Stop trying to act all innocent, Larry, I saw your sheet lift up.
Besides, everyone knows you're the only one that eats lentils."
D. MALKOVICH!
E. "Look, I don't wanna cause trouble, but Field Medic Reynolds listens to nothing but mp3s of Chicago and Streisand, and more to the point, I'm almost certain the Anthrax vaccine isn't a suppository."
Posted by: dong resin on April 15, 2003 11:56 PMAlternate for D :
Superman's dad just won't budge on the whole "pot is no worse than beer" thing.
Masterful Postponing of the Expected Fart Joke Leads Portuguese Reader To Mop Cupboard
Posted by: Miguel on April 16, 2003 12:00 AMmachaus, I just consider it a feature. Now back to the important stuff...
Posted by: ana on April 16, 2003 12:13 AMAlternate for C:
( American Airlines boarding gate: )
"Oh, none of you guys have nail clippers? Okay, go right on through."
A). Fuck, Don Henley really should start doing coke again.
B). Fujiko scored a 6.7 in the "Best Balls of Okinawa" competition.
C). Dipshits wearing asshats.
D). Operation Boy Scout Freedom.
E). Shawarma? More like Scha-wing!
Posted by: ufez on April 16, 2003 01:21 AMWhoa, has anyone looked at this site on Apple's Safari? browser? Yikes!
That's not a browser, that's a $20 hooker with a heart of gold!
Posted by: stavrosthewonderchicken on April 16, 2003 04:38 AMDear Aliens,
You wanted proof that the human race was not suitable for your hybrid-regeneration projects. I've enclosed five pictures that should quite readily suffice.
Love,
Earthling
No, tj, I believe it's properly spelled "quitcherbitchen". At least it was spelled that way on a bumber sticker I saw.
Posted by: adampsyche on April 16, 2003 09:26 AMPersonally, I reject the notion that a company can just unleash a new browser on the market and expect everyone to rewrite their pages around it. If this site looks like hell in Safari, then as far as I'm concerned that's the fault of the people who developed Safari.
</derail>
Posted by: jpoulos on April 16, 2003 09:38 AMLike I have nothing better to do with my time than keep tabs on the doofuses in MetaTalk?
Posted by: Vidiot's Gawd on April 16, 2003 01:59 PMBob Dylan looks like a combination of: 1. an oldtimey riverboat gambler and b. Avril Lavigne.
Posted by: ColdChef on April 16, 2003 02:42 PMVidiot, I passed a street named Vidiot today. No lie. I'll have to retrace my steps when I have the digital camera with me.
Anyone chancing upon Tizzie Lane, please do the same!
Posted by: tizzie on April 16, 2003 03:03 PMExhibit A: Penny Marshall glowers as she realizes "A League of Their Own" is not going to go down in history as the greatest baseball movie ever made.
Posted by: readymade on April 16, 2003 03:45 PMANNOUNCEMENT:
Vidiot, Chico and myself will be visiting the world's only gourmet rice pudding emporium. All NYC monkeys are welcome to join us. It's on Spring Street between Mott & Mulberry in SoHo.
Rice makes for exceptionally grainy flingin' poop, ya know.
Posted by: jonmc on April 16, 2003 03:50 PM"...the world's only gourmet rice pudding emporium."
"Gourmet" and "rice pudding" are mutually exclusive terms, my gustatorially-challenged friend.
Posted by: Crash on April 16, 2003 04:07 PMI only had rice pudding once, when I was something like 7 years old, and its yuckiness still haunts me.
Posted by: tizzie on April 16, 2003 04:17 PMIts faux-velvet yuckiness will surely haunt me all the days of my life.
Oddly enough, I'll be wearing faux velvet to the puddinging. If I can get my jacket back from the cleaners, that is.
Last time I wore it was that unfortunate episode with the chickens and the Elmer's glue. You remember, right? Good times, good times.
Posted by: Chico on April 16, 2003 06:17 PMExceptional thread. Although I am intimidated by the last picture.
"Does anyone have anything worthy to report?"
"You there, in the oversize man-diaper. That's cause for arrest. Call security. Tell them to secure 'willy-nilly'! "
Posted by: aw on April 16, 2003 09:09 PMNo faux velvet for me. Mine's irrevocably sullied by the incident with the Supreme Court justices, Cheez Whiz, the dwarf, and the oil drum full of Reddi-Wip.
Posted by: Vidiot on April 16, 2003 09:56 PMby the way, I invited a non-monkey to the puddin' party. Hope that's okay.
Posted by: Vidiot on April 16, 2003 10:20 PMNow, if this thread were a couple days later, we could claim that all the pictures were taken AT the Pudding Party:
A: "I'd rather have tapioca, dammit."
B: "More rice pudding! And don't go easy on the cinnamon!"
C: "It's the only way to avoid getting your tie stained, honest!"
D: "No more pudding for you!"
E: "Okay, maybe not the ONLY way.."
Ya notice, that E is the only one of the pics that show ANYBODY smiling?
D: Thinking noone is watchin, a Klansman strokes his candle.
E: "Hey, chums, why the hell are we in a goddamned LINE, when regulations dictate a Circle?"
Posted by: kaibutsu on April 17, 2003 02:47 AMHa ha, Kai!
Here are some more creepy Andalusian penitents, i.e. wannabe Klansmen, to light your wick:
And here's the Sevilla Snowflake/Patagonia Sportswear Group:
That's enough hoods till 2063!
That's the scariest thing since TJ got four of the evil Empire Crimson Guard Stars Wars action figures on his eleventh birthday in 1984.
Oh wait. That's not scary. Carry on.
Posted by: Mars Crash on April 19, 2003 02:18 AM"Man, Mummenschanz just ain't been right since Rupert Murdoch bought it and tried to give it that 'Fox News Channel edge'."
Posted by: dong resin on April 19, 2003 03:17 AMA note about posting images:
We encourage users to post images, especially those hilarous pics of monkeys
wearing dresses or programming for Linux. But posting images that reside on someone
else's server is considered by many to be bandwidth theft. Our thoughts
on the matter, along with some solutions to the problem, can be found
here. Thanks.
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