Well, now that Moby has appeared on the Mirror Project, 9622 is going to be under a lot of pressure to come up with its own celebrity cameo.
Any ideas? They have to be cheap.
(
)
I could come up with at least a couple of bucks to get Jurgen Prochnow to stop by and make a cameo comment.
You hear me Jurgen? Come on, baby!
Posted by: kafka, esq. on April 16, 2003 06:34 PMAnd I just want to make it absolutely clear that under no circumstances should Miguel post pictures of naked men in this thread.
Posted by: kafka, esq. on April 16, 2003 07:08 PMParticularly himself. Though that might count as a cameo.
Posted by: stavrosthewonderchicken on April 16, 2003 07:25 PMIt's a little known fact that Miguel appeared as the jack of hearts in a "Saucy Portuguese Authors" nudie playing card deck circa 1957.
Posted by: kafka, esq. on April 16, 2003 07:28 PMI'm pretty confident I could get
Wilford Brimley
to stop by, or a reasonable facsimile thereof.
Posted by: Crash on April 16, 2003 08:34 PMAre you saying that you would actually impersonate Wilford Brimley?
Posted by: kafka, esq. on April 16, 2003 09:19 PM
what about one of the coreys? haim or feldman could use the exposure, I'm sure.
Posted by: whatnot on April 16, 2003 10:58 PMThat is the worst picture ever, lupo. My eyes! AIEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!
Posted by: ufez on April 16, 2003 11:10 PMHmmm. We need someone cool, who drimks, who cracks wise, who has a flair for interpersonal relations, who has a certain savoir faire...
What about someone everyone vaguely remembers and intensely dislikes but whose name blessedly never registered?
Someone like...Henry Silva!
Posted by: Miguel on April 17, 2003 12:59 AMOr...
...whose name annoyingly refuses to be dislodged from one's memory bank, like John Saxon!
Posted by: Miguel on April 17, 2003 01:02 AMI think Gutenburg's got a little camel toe going there, Lupo, and that's just wrong.
Posted by: Crash on April 17, 2003 02:25 AMOh, I don't know about worst picture EVER...... Imean, there's spandex, and there's heavily implied penis, and a cute dog to boot. Not as in "kick." Which is to say that perhaps you are right, and in fact, this is the worst picture ever.\
Note to future thoroughly drubken users: "" equals "eneter" does not.
Posted by: kaibutsu on April 17, 2003 02:36 AMOh, I don't know about worst picture EVER...... Imean, there's spandex, and there's heavily implied penis, and a cute dog to boot. Not as in "kick." Which is to say that perhaps you are right, and in fact, this is the worst picture ever.\
Note to future thoroughly drubken users: "" equals "eneter" does not.
Posted by: kaibutsu on April 17, 2003 02:37 AMWhich is a grammatically poor way of saying that "" does not "eneter" equals.
Posted by: kaibutsu on April 17, 2003 02:38 AMSlide them wallets back into your ass pockets, fellas, we work this mamajamma right, we can all MAKE money :
I give you late nite infomerical pitchman Billy Mays, the new face of 9622.net.
Plus, he's got some good news about " title="" target="_blank">OxiClean.
Posted by: dong resin on April 17, 2003 03:41 AMYes, Tim actually requested an autographed Billy Mays photo and to my surprise...he actually GOT ONE! Woah! I'll be damned! So if any of you want an autographed picture, ask them Orange Glo folk and you just might get one!
*faints with the fuckin' excitement*
Posted by: Miguel on April 17, 2003 04:25 AMBtw, thundersluts, dong, Stav, Lupo, Kaf, EBK, TJ and indeed all of you - if this earlier endearing fact about Portugal didn't convince you to emigrate, I'm sincerely hoping this very recent study will finally bring you all over to Portugal. ;)
Posted by: Miguel on April 17, 2003 04:41 AM
on Can we stay at your house until we get ourselves sorted, Migs?
Seriously, I'd love to live in Portugal, if I could find some kind of gainful employment, like lighting the cigars of cult authors of something.
Posted by: stavrosthewonderchicken on April 17, 2003 05:37 AMThe funniest bit of that, Miguel, is Tiago Craveiro's big explanation/justification quote which clocks in at exactly one 8th of the usual windy "brief" quote from a spokesperson, and lacks the usual attempt to offer any kind of rebuttal or alternate view.
"It's true".
That's not even a real sentence.
Posted by: dong resin on April 17, 2003 05:39 AMAw yeah! Billy Mays got game!
(In a very monkey and un Ian Fleming sort of way)
9622: Baked on, burnt on, caked on savoir faire!
Posted by: aw on April 17, 2003 07:12 AMAw yeah! Billy Mays got game!
(In a very monkey and un Ian Fleming sort of way)
9622: Baked on, burnt on, caked on savoir faire!
Posted by: aw on April 17, 2003 07:13 AMI think a more avuncular presence is called for.
How about him? or him? maybe even him? but only if he's made up like this?
And for musical accompaniment...
Posted by: jonmc on April 17, 2003 08:32 AMI meant if he was made up like THIS, doggone it. Now the jokes ruined. I'm such a galoot...
Posted by: jonmc on April 17, 2003 08:35 AM
Anyone who was on Battlestar Galactica and The A-Team should be worshiped like the god he is.
Posted by: Cyrano on April 17, 2003 08:47 AMMy god, and I was going to post Dirk Benedict! I have sung of Starbuck's many charms before (and if 9622 had a search feature, I'd tell you where). And, I actually have a personally addressed and autographed 8x10 glossy of him that my brother got for me (at a Star Trek convention) several birthdays ago. My little ten year old heart used to stutter at the sight of him on our TV screen.
This was, of course, before my heart became the charred and twisted lump it is today.
Oh look, it's Starbuck as Miguel!
Posted by: witchstone on April 17, 2003 09:38 AMHow about this clever little pixie?
Or I'm hearing that the entire Red Wings franchise can be had for a used band-aid and wish.
*runs the fuck away from tj and adam*
Posted by: ufez on April 17, 2003 10:32 AMIf we ever need a lawyer, I nominate this guy.
*runs the fuck away from ana and yhbc*
Posted by: jpoulos on April 17, 2003 11:01 AMTom Cody in Streets of Fire. Eddie in the original Eddie and the Cruisers. (more recently, the burned out adult Trip Fontaine in the Virgin Suicides.)
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the new 9622 cameo, Michael Paré!
If we ever need a Peter Pan, I nominate this guy.
Seriously, I think he's fantastic.
I would seriously love it if Mr. Pan would pop in and say hi. That's one of my favorite sites.
Posted by: jpoulos on April 17, 2003 11:40 AMufez, now is not the time to be mocking us unruly Detroiters. Especially ones that have alot of free time and violent tendencies.
That, and I just got word that Marty is going for stitches. To use his words: "I split my melon and I'm leaking gravy".
Posted by: tj on April 17, 2003 11:43 AMThat's one of my favorite sites.
Did we really need to know that?
Posted by: Vidiot on April 17, 2003 12:05 PMNot only a celebrity, but a web celebrity. Plus, you get Peter Pan, Little Lord Fauntleroy and The Fairy Princess all in one.
So, 2 votes for Mr. Pan? Do I hear another? Do I?
I believe we have two votes for Dirk Benedict as well.
Maybe a co-cameo?
Posted by: Cyrano on April 17, 2003 12:29 PMImagine, Starbuck and Fairy Princess, hand in hand!
*raptures*
Posted by: witchstone on April 17, 2003 12:40 PMThe obvious solution is to get Dirk to dress up like Peter Pan.
And there's only one monkey I know with the persuasive powers to make that happen.
Witchy, you're on.
Posted by: jpoulos on April 17, 2003 12:52 PMActually, I bet ColdChef could push the right buttons, too.
Posted by: jpoulos on April 17, 2003 12:52 PM
No love for Brolin? I'm jsut saying, James Brolin would put on a pixie outfit for, like, a bottle of Southern Comfort.
Posted by: kaf on April 17, 2003 12:59 PM
Gabe Kaplan took a break from show biz for a time, concentrating on becoming an expert financial advisor and champion poker player.
HA! This is true. I actually just saw him last weekend on ESPN2 doing play-by-play for the World Series of Poker.
He's really let himself go. He looks like one of Juan Epstein's genital warts.
Posted by: jpoulos on April 17, 2003 01:23 PMPhase one: Rent a Peter Pan costume
Phase two: Road trip!
Phase three: ???
Phase four: Cameo!
Posted by: Cyrano on April 17, 2003 01:23 PMI would seriously love it if Mr. Pan would pop in and say hi.
Oh yes - he's got my vote. I worship at his toe shoes.
I actually just saw him last weekend on ESPN2 doing play-by-play for the World Series of Poker.
I actually watched that too. Man. If the World Series of Poker and the World's Strongest Man were on at the same time, it would be a small taste of Heaven.
Maybe we could arrange The World's Strongest Men Playing Poker. Or at least Crazy Eights.
Posted by: kaf on April 17, 2003 01:33 PMThe guy who played Boxey looks like that Jack guy from Will and Grace.
Appropos of nothing, Boxey played Harry Potter Jr. in a 1986 movie called Troll.
Posted by: witchstone on April 17, 2003 01:41 PMMaybe we could arrange The World's Strongest Men Playing Poker.
I think the World's Strongest Men should play the World Series of Poker guys just so we could see the most of those nylon workout suits ever gathered in one place.
Posted by: Cyrano on April 17, 2003 01:44 PM*peers out from ultra-secret hiding place*
Sorry teej and adam, but you knew I had to make at least one snarky comment.
Are we cool?
*Ow! Motherfucking shit, ow! fuck, shit, mmph, mmphhh! MMMMPPPPPHHHHHMMMMM!!!!!*
Posted by: ufez on April 17, 2003 01:58 PMMr. K, I think you should write a book called "The World's Strongest Men Playing Crazy Eights."
I swear I would buy ten copies of the hardback edition.
Magnus Ver Magnusson: Eh, Garret, you are many three having?
Gerrit Badenhorst: I have only the card with kitties and some clowns.
exeunt
disclaimer: I don't remember how to play Crazy Eights.
Posted by: kaf on April 17, 2003 03:18 PMOkay, I'll ask.
Whazzat, jon? "Slept"? "Kinda"?
Don't tell me you're saving the rest of that story for pudding night, are you?
Posted by: Chico on April 17, 2003 03:45 PMI Slept With Moby will be on your gravestone, jon.
Chico, if you haven't heard this story, then I've got one to tell you about sending a CD and book to Turkey.
Posted by: witchstone on April 17, 2003 03:47 PMOh, never mind. I should know better by now than to open up my trap in here and, well, remove all doubt. (Hold that Turkey tale, witchy. I love a good shipping story.)
And aren't all the World's Strongest Men named Samuelsson?
They all look like either Bam Bam Rubble or Bam Bam Bigelow. Not a Pierce Brosnan or Jackie Chan in the bunch.
Posted by: Chico on April 17, 2003 04:13 PMThe verbal barbs I recive make my ill-advised drunken(yet entirely truthful) blurt worth it.
Posted by: jonmc on April 17, 2003 04:14 PMDid the woman you slept with, who slept with Moby, realize that he's gay?
(Isn't he gay?)
Posted by: jpoulos on April 17, 2003 04:18 PMNo, no poulos. The woman I slept with, slept with another woman who slept with Moby. Having never met this other woman, I have no idea what she realizes.
I keep strange company.
Posted by: jonmc on April 17, 2003 04:20 PMI'm torn...
"9622.net: I keep strange company" is the obvious choice, but:
"9622.net: The woman I slept with, slept with another woman who slept with Moby" just speaks to my soul.
Posted by: Cyrano on April 17, 2003 04:34 PMCatching up:
Dirk Benedict - recently appeared on Graham Cracker Norton's show on BBCAmahrica, and he hasn't held up that well over the years: (teeny pic from BBCA website) (fuzzy Real clip from brit channel4) Then again, Graham's (Norton, not Brad) archives would be a good place to look up b-list celebs for us, not to mention other webcrap.
Moby sleeping: I don't know if this tops anything, but I almost (as in almost.org, remember that?) slept with a woman who was a former girlfriend of William "Greatest Ameican Hero" Katt. (If you have the bad taste to contact him, just mention "Keri Unpronouncable" - and I thought I'd told some crappy personal stores on MeFi!)
Billy Mays: Would somebody please dump some OxiClean on that bad dye job and see what color his hair REALLY is? (Hey, and guess who owns the domain name OxyClone.com, and is secretly setting it up for his annoying personal Oxymoron List, tentative completion date: 2007?)
Finally, I thought you guys had standards here. No celebrities should be considered for cameos unless you can provide a picture of him/her posed WITH A MONKEY (NOT a dog, but extra points for a Gutten-bulge).
Posted by: wendell on April 17, 2003 05:53 PMA dear friend of mine, with whom I did in fact do sexy thangs one drubken night in university many years ago, well, she touched Iggy Pop's willy once.
That's pretty cool, isn't it?
Posted by: stavrosthewonderchicken on April 17, 2003 08:30 PMSteve Guttenburg...
eeew. *cringes*
I'll never sleep again.
I know that was really Wierd Al's body with Steve's head photoshopped on. How mischevious you can be, J-PO!
Posted by: kc on April 17, 2003 09:02 PMwendell, I was all ready to refute your Dick Benedict claims, but I'm just now realizing Rowdy Rodey Piper is back on TV, so I gotta go...
Posted by: Cyrano on April 17, 2003 09:03 PMUgh, gag reflex acting up....must leave-
ACH!(sorry (but seriously.))
uum...when I said, "Dick Benedict" ya'll knew I meant, "Dirk," right?!?
Posted by: Cyrano on April 17, 2003 09:11 PMRowdy Roddy's back? Where? How? (Remember, I'm in the Pacific Time Zone, there may be a chance for me to catch a left-coast fed) Anyway, "They Live" is on my top-ten guilty pleasures list (four of which will NEVER appear on the web under my name). Standing up to Hulk Hogan AND wearing a kilt in the ring? Can you get cooler than that?
Posted by: wendell on April 17, 2003 11:08 PMGotta be Ron's brother:
Oh, and I love Dick Benedict with a side of hollandaise.
Posted by: machaus on April 18, 2003 12:20 AMOh, WHAT -- no one wants Nipsey Russell?
C'mon...he rawks...
Posted by: roe/metrocake on April 18, 2003 12:23 AMI suggest the late Scatman Crothers as the Official 9622 Celebrity. "Hong Kong Phooey" AND "Black Belt Jones"? The man was a god.
Posted by: Vidiot on April 18, 2003 01:26 AMIt's like, when someone burns toast...
No-one said "toast" like the late Scatman Crothers, number one superguy.
Posted by: kafka, esq. on April 18, 2003 01:36 AMOh, and Readymade, I live around the corner from those TBN freaks. I can stop by and kidnap Rev. gene Scott no problem.
Posted by: kafka, esq. on April 18, 2003 01:37 AMIs the site completely whacked right now or is it just me? (and possibly the vodka)
OK, and...
kaf, I have this recurring Indie Movie Script Fantasy about someone who decides the best way to make their move-to-Belize money is by kidnapping the freaky-ass purple wig of that Jan lady.
wendell, I just had the WWE on in the backround when I got home and there he was. It was like 1986 all over again. (And, tangetilly related, if there's anyone out there who can help me give a shout out to Paul Boesch, please do...)
Posted by: Cyrano on April 18, 2003 05:45 AMOh, and spelling horrors aside, I think "Tangetilly Related" would be a cool name for a shot.
Posted by: Cyrano on April 18, 2003 05:46 AMDong_Resin's Good Friday message is pretty inspirational.
Is that Hello Kitty gone bad, donger?
Posted by: tizzie on April 18, 2003 08:46 AMYou know, kaf, if you go to this site about Jan Crouch, the purple-haired mistress of mysteries, there's a story about how she can pray to God and get him to fix her washing machine. That could come in handy if she lives near you.
Sorry about the pop-ups. Damned Tripod.
Posted by: readymade on April 18, 2003 05:38 PMYou know who would be cool and could be, with a few choice e-mails drafted by the likes of Kaf, wangled?
During some of his hours-long tirades against the perils of the free market system and the consumerist ideologies being spread across the world by American corporations, Fidel Castro would sometimes lighten things up with his Foster Brooks impression.
Posted by: Chico on April 19, 2003 11:13 PMWell it sounds like it is too late to get Idi Amin. Damn.
Actually, that bastard doesn't deserve to die a peaceful death. But there are bits of his legend that are ... well ... priceless.
Posted by: tizzie on July 20, 2003 09:15 PMIs the above spam URL looping back to 9622 for everyone?
So, this comment spam has occured a few times. I'm assuming these are bots, did I miss a discussion about this?
It's a botched URL to some kind of pharmacy.
Post already!
aww man, there was a rare witchstone sighting and I missed it!
Damn it!
Posted by: tj on October 26, 2003 02:43 AMWitchstone, you last mentioned Dirk Benedict here. Anyway I only popped in here for a quick glance at the monkeys, and having fulfilled my good deed for the day I shall now depart hence. Oh, if I get a vote for a celebrity appearance then I vote for stav's friend who touched Iggy Pop's willy. That has to be celebrity worth celebrating. Which leads me to remember that it's time for me to find some beer now.
Posted by: flying walrus on February 20, 2004 07:52 AMwhat is it about this thread that the comment spam bots love so much?
Posted by: tj on February 20, 2004 12:44 PMBut you never told me if you liked the design or not!
Posted by: ColdChef on February 23, 2004 07:52 AMA note about posting images:
We encourage users to post images, especially those hilarous pics of monkeys
wearing dresses or programming for Linux. But posting images that reside on someone
else's server is considered by many to be bandwidth theft. Our thoughts
on the matter, along with some solutions to the problem, can be found
here. Thanks.
In an effort to help eliminate spam (and to preserve the sanity of the 9622 Volunteer Simian Spam-Cop Brigade) all threads older than 30 days will now be closed to comments.