Yes, it was a year ago today that our great leaders launched the wonder that is 9622.net, named after the MetaFilter thread where monkey-loving first became the preferred sport of champions and thundersluts everywhere.
Here is the Kafkaesque-posted picture which started it all:
WHEEEE! and YAY! and HERE YEA, HERE YEA!
Let the celebrations begin!
Posted by Miguel at April 25, 2003 12:22 AMNot going all maudlin on you here, but I'd like to thank my friend ColdChef for being the first to invite me to one of the wonderful MeFi cross-thread sprees ("enough of all that well-thought-out stuff!") which led me to get to know all you guys and gals.
It hasn't been easy putting up with me - but it sure as hell has been easy loving you. :)
Posted by: Miguel on April 25, 2003 12:38 AMI'm sipping some beer out of my 9622.net mug. I'm very at peace with the world, in spite of listening to a 4th OT hockey game on my fucking alarm clock radio. But it's cool. Pictures will follow (when, again, I can find someone willing to host). Cheers, everyone!
Posted by: ufez on April 25, 2003 01:02 AMI feel priviledged to have been invited and included, for I consider you all some of the finest people I know. At the same time, I feel indulged that you've let me make the worst of wisecracks, scads of filthy poetry, thinly veiled come-on's, and enough embarassing personal anecdotes to fill an entire season of Blossom. Thank you, CC and lupo, for giving me such a pleasant alternative to the Blue, and thank you all, for giving me the gift of your acquaintance, the charity of your indulgence, the reassurance of my faith that there are more important things than mere politics, for sharing my love of strong drink, good vittles, a good smoke and convivial conversation and, most importantly, for giving me a year's worth of the pleasure of your company.
*glass high*
The barbarians may call it 2003, but every year is truly the Year of the Monkey. None flingeth poop such as thee! Salud.
Posted by: Fes on April 25, 2003 01:10 AMFes: that was gorgeous. Thank you for making me laugh mistily. You beautiful bastard.
Posted by: ufez on April 25, 2003 01:41 AMand now: filthy haiku!
The hoary Zen lords,
never gave such advice as this:
keep dick off curtains!
One innocent wipe,
and the missus will cut your
balls off and eat 'em.
One thinks Siddharta
would have mentioned this, since he
was such a cock-wipe.
At least Confucious,
between fucking the milkmaids,
should have said something.
Don't even get me
started on what happens if
test the back door.
Sorry, that's:
Don't even get me
started on what happens if
you test the back door.
5-7-5, baby!
Posted by: fes on April 25, 2003 01:50 AM*breaks into song and dance, remembering those, dark difficult days when the much-needed Fes was nowhere to be found*
*decides it's high time pikachu lolita, Optamystic and all the other much-missed sisters and brothers checked in!*
Up late getting ready for a road trip tomorrow.
Our motley crew has really come together here at 9622. For something started as a way to stop annoying MeFi in general, this has really blossomed. I'm glad to have all of your acquaintances, and so pleased to see the general tone of inclusion and friendliness here.
The original little group of monkeys from the Mothership has grown so much. That's the best thing. New faces like Readymade, Cyrano, Dejah, Kaibutsu, Cowboy Sally, Metrocake, Vidiot, Chicobangs and all the rest make this place continually fun to be around.
We've got jon's liver, Bunnyfire's Turkish communiqués, ColdChef's vodker, jpoulos's continual server mastery, TJ and Stavros's fine site layout, Miguel's penchant for baby animal pics, Eyeballkid's wisdom and general supercoolness, Fes' zen bravado, Witchstone's 80s cavalcade, Thomcatspike's loveable inscrutability, Tizzie's dog-lovin' heart, Anathema and YHBC's crouquet grudge match (get better Commish), Adampsyche's adorable kid and hockey wailing, Dong Resin's puppy-kissing moistness, Brittney's film bonanza, Mr Crash Davis' acute wit, Liam and Walrus' occasional flurries of activity, Ufez Jones' just plain goodness. Even occasional Pfeffings and Avogadroings.
Hell. I shouldn't have done that. I know I forgot someone. Krimur/Lilboo's visits. Mars Crash's drunken shenannigans. Aw, Pardon Me....everyone!
We've had 9622 babies born, meetups, Cd Swaps, Helping-Hands Monkey Bricks and Haiku-fests with very little ugliness.
Seriously, we have a good group here, and it will only get better with more and more new faces.
And, of course, feces.
See you on Monday.
Posted by: kafka, esq. on April 25, 2003 03:47 AM
Happy, happy birth-day!
Happy, happy birth-day!
Cha-cha-cha!
9622 is a most excellent place, and I love you all! Thanks for letting me be a part of this grand and glorious mess.
Posted by: tizzie on April 25, 2003 06:56 AM9622.net: Occasional Pfeffings and Avogadroings.
I want to thank you all for making this such a warm, funny and real place to be. The internet is a powerful thing, but it's young and still trying to define itself. I think sites like this help do that--they help redefine the 'net as more than banner ads and amazon.com bargains. They help the 'net remain about people.
Well, primates anyway.
Happy Birthday, everybody.
Posted by: jpoulos on April 25, 2003 08:16 AMHappy Birthday us!
What'd we get? How about some onions for my liver?
Maybe we should go out to Brooklyn and see if Jacques Torres will make us a poop shaped chocolate cake.
All goofing aside, there's a real nice camaraderie here. I do feel priviliged to be invited, as fes says. Cheers, y'all.
Posted by: jonmc on April 25, 2003 08:33 AMI'm sipping some beer out of my 9622.net mug. I'm very at peace with the world, in spite of listening to a 4th OT hockey game on my fucking alarm clock radio.
ufez, welcome to my hell. this is what i was experiencing just last week, and the nightmares have never stopped. yes, your team too will experience the bite of those fucking mighty ducks, who have been the perennial laughing stock of the nhl, now getting their quaky little revenge. like kafka said, wail, wail, WAIL!
And, glad to know you folks. There are days when I'm here too much for my own good, there are weeks when I hardly have a minute to visit, but it's good to know that, in the turbulent sea of the Intarweb, there's a little haven we call Monkey Island. *sniff* There's no place like home, there's no place like home!
Posted by: adampsyche on April 25, 2003 08:52 AM[flintstones moment]
Happy Anniversary, Happy Anniversary,
Happy Anniversary, HAAAAAAAAAPPY ANNIVERSARY.
[/flintstones moment]
Seriously gang, it's been fun. You all rock...you're the best little monkey friends a zoo inmate could ever want.
And now, filthy haiku:
primate opinions
interesting and obscure,
with limited poop.
Dejah, you call that filthy?? I know you have a small baby in the house and everything, but you're going to have to do better than that!
A Fletch moment: "Doc,
are you using the whole hand?"
I dread my check-up.
###
Suits have many meetings,
but the last one was bad: boss
floated a brown breeze.
Michael from Finance
fell dead, he was the closest.
all wished they were Mike.
Idle thought before I
passed out: "If I smell farts, do
I thus inhale shit?"
###
More check-up worries:
Why does my doctor always
freely grab my balls?
It's hard to cough when
I'm screaming, and he is a
ear, nose and throat man.
And to be honest,
that big thermometer is
making me nervous.
###
There'll be more like this today. The Muse is upon me!
Keep in mind that the possibility exists that my Muse is Jimmy Kimmel in drag.
Posted by: Fes on April 25, 2003 10:07 AMTry having your breasts
slammed between two parts of
a heartless machine
It can't possibly
be worse than having the doc
call you "sweety-meat"
I remember getting that inaugural email from J.po or whomever inviting me, and very specifically not any "of those dirty Jews", here to the site.
My first thought was "Christ, I don't have to contribute anything, do I?"
It's been gravy ever since.
Also born on this date: Guglielmo Marconi, Edward R. Murrow, Ella Fitzgerald, Meadowlark Lemon, Al Pacino, and the little man that lives in my head and advises me on things.
Posted by: Fes on April 25, 2003 11:03 AMYou mean Al Pacinco.
And stop asking me to say hello to your little frien'.
Today is the 50th anniversary of DNA.
I don't know why I felt it was important to bring that up. It's early. I'm not caffeinated yet. You figure it out.
ooooh. dirty haiku!
Posted by: eyeballkid on April 25, 2003 11:10 AMAnd thank you all for making my work day and coffee breaks more interesting, amusing and poopfilled than it could otherwise have possibly been
Posted by: lurking@work on April 25, 2003 11:16 AMAnd thank you all for making my work day and coffee breaks more interesting, amusing and poopfilled than it could otherwise have possibly been
Posted by: lurking@work on April 25, 2003 11:16 AMMe and Pete pissing
off bridge: Pete: "Water's cold!" Me:
"Also very deep!"
###
Took me two trips to
the beach to figure out that
'tato goes in front.
###
One lesbian frog
to another: "It's true! We
do taste like chicken."
###
I've always felt that
skidmark contest about depth;
real champs judge on width.
###
Never fuck your pets,
because from then, you call?
they think: "Wha - fuck again?"
###
Before DNA
CSI guys stood around,
with thumbs up their ass.
Ah, the Double Helix..
Because after all, who wouldn't want two of this bunch...
Posted by: jonmc on April 25, 2003 11:39 AMGreat hanging out here
With all you crazy monkeys
I loves flingin' poo.
Congratulations
On a momentous birthday
(It's my mom's, too.)
Damn, haikus are hard
at least, before my coffee
Fes makes it look fun.
I of course meant that it was the 50th anniversary of the discovery of the double helix (and nearly twenty since the start of the human genome project.)
DNA, of course, has been around since we were monkeys.
Posted by: eyeballkid on April 25, 2003 11:48 AMIn three months time I
will quit my office job for
life of studentry
which will sound the death
knell on my days of flinging
poo with monkey friends
this can only be
healthy for all parties who
are involved right now
Fes Haikus make for
loud and sharp snorts in classroom
my students look up
Oh, and one more thing:
Bottomdwelling: twice our age!
Kudos, eyeballkid!
what can one give on
such an occasion but one's
own birthday tranny?
studentry sounds like
it could land you in da joint
better plea bargain
I really did all the work. I just let Watson in because I felt sorry for him after I shagged his wife.
Posted by: Crick on April 25, 2003 11:57 AMAfter looking at that picture, studentry may be the least of your offenses...
Posted by: jonmc on April 25, 2003 11:59 AMtheory on server
error: hard drive is crowded
with lup's vast pr0n stash.
he goes to dancing
with himself? all digital
resources vanish
Subsequently, apes
hit Post button, wonder "what
the fuck, damn server!"
Meanwhile, no one hears
from Lupo for six minutes.
What is he doing?
Only clue? Inside
of server room has oddly
stuccoed walls...? Uh oh.
Chimps see Witchy's pic
beg her: link to bigger .gif?
Right click, Save As... done! :)
Damn, I'm always late to the party. Now all that's left is Diet Dr. Pibb and bekherovka.
Oh well. Happy birthday 9622!
Posted by: cowboy_sally on April 25, 2003 12:03 PMNinety-nine bottles
Of poo on the wall. Ninety-
Nine bottles of poo.
(Good thing about poo
It makes it easier to
Write rhyming haiku.)
The meter sucks though
Double dactyls can be more
Enjoyable to write.
Witchy-Tranny pic
downloaded; site goes silent
for six long minutes.
Last night, I began the celebration:
(and if you can't tell, yes, that's my 9622.net frosted beer mug in me hand)
Feel free to photoshop me into witchy's tranny picture if you like. I'll be hard to offend today.
Cheers, hugs, and good vibes all around.
Posted by: ufez on April 25, 2003 12:17 PMGosh, I'd forgotten
How tricky dactyls can be
Clumsy stab follows:
Higgledy-piggledy
Mig-u-el Cardoso
Posts baby animals
inline, as in Blort.
Does Schweppes Girl know her
Dipsomaniacal
hubby's gazing on fauna
While swilling his Port?
Reading this thread Birthday Card, reflects this place a party...Happy Bithday 9622.net
Noticed yhbc made the first comment, I mention as I'm wearing the pin, more like a badge with the 9622net logo on it that yhbc and his wife made me, woOO woOO.
PS, gotta run, threw poo for Confetti!!!
dear 9622
cause of much snarfing; bill for
screen repair in mail
simian brethren
glasses in one hand, poo in
other; raise glass, PROUST!
anniversary?
Sweet! Excuse to party tonight.
(Like reason needed)
liquor and haiku
monkey Bacchanalia! but
where are the midgets?
Proust? Fussy guy with
pastry fetish? I'd rather
raise my Guinness glass
And holler "Slainche!"
As I hear the Irish do.
Now you've found me out;
Don't we all just want
to have a drink with Roma-
kimmy anyway?
What would I ask for?
Valpolicella drizzled
through arse cleavage, please!
*swats Fes*
Cubicl'd drones
hear many laughs from my cell.
Must be monkey biz.
Eyeballkid got free cheesecake - we get tranny butt.
Go figure.
If we were gonna have a 1st year greatest hits list, I'd have to say that I think my favorite pic is still ColdChef/bride/orca/tongue. Where is that baby?
Posted by: tizzie on April 25, 2003 02:22 PMWouldn't a punny
haiku from the Uncle Fes
read something like this:
One lesbian frog
to another: "It's true, we
do taste like poulet."
I found this site in August (or June?--I can't remember anymore), just about the time I had become completely disenchanted with MeFi. I have a thing for monkeys anyway, and here you all were, my favorite contributors to MeFi, all collected in one place, throwing scat, eating junk food, and drinking cocktails with funny umbrellas in them. I thought I had died and gone to a feces-filled heaven!
I was so moved that I wrote Lupo a note, expressing my admiration for the site, for monkeys, and for the throwing of poo in general. I enclosed a picture of me dressed as a flying monkey, drinking beer and flipping the bird. For some strange reason, he actually wrote me back.
It's true that I never wrote over at the Filter--that place scares me still--but you people seem to bring it out of me. It must be the civility masquerading as poo-flinging and drunken hijinks. But under it all is a clear respect.
I've gone and made myself all verklempt.
Three Bronx Cheers!
*thhhhhbbttttttt*
Posted by: readymade on April 25, 2003 02:23 PMMy favorite pics?
1. Lupo as referree: tweet!
2. Witchy in her 80's getup in the limo
3. Kaf as John Lennon with Crazy Straw
4. The Readymade-Pink Separated at Birth lineup
5. Miguel, His Cigar, and his Come Hither Eyes
Any way we could put together a Gallery of Rogues, to include all the phine photoshoppin' that's been done over the year?
Posted by: Fes on April 25, 2003 02:35 PMWell, tranny butt is free cheesecake in a manner of speaking. Cottage cheese perhaps, but cheese nonetheless.
I nominate the "venereal disease" thread as our finest moment. A freind of mine read it and reported that she was "lauging her ears out thru her asshole."
I can think of no higher praise.
Posted by: jonmc on April 25, 2003 02:43 PMWhat would I ask for?
Valpolicella drizzled
through arse cleavage, please!
it begs to be asked
would our dear Fes use a glass
or pour from bottle
and my contribution for the Gallery of Rogues photoshopping
Posted by: romakimmy on April 25, 2003 03:37 PMHere is my gift to the monkey haus this auspicious day:
There are many drinks
to imbibe this auspicious
day; Drat! Cocktail Splash!
would our dear Fes use a glass or pour from bottle
Both! Pour from bottle
above; wine crosses Eden,
catch in glass below.
:D
Posted by: Fes on April 25, 2003 04:09 PMHotchacha! Whisky shots all around!
Yet another reason to celebrate today, for I've learned that I've a school to return to this summer! Yohoho!
Posted by: kaibutsu on April 25, 2003 04:23 PMprodigious veggie,
readymade. very green. so,
can I borrow it?
no Valpolicella
in sight- Gattinara si
will do in a pinch
Argh! Photoisland hates my
Baby monkey shot:
pink tee-shirt on new-born ape.
i'm drunk on champagne
who says that office parties
aren't enjoyable?
especially when
the booze is free and easy
as jagger's virtue?
I think I first de-lurked during Brittney's Most Embarrasing Music thread (I still have that "Transformers: The Movie" soundtrack. Don't make me use it!)
A lot like Big Blue
Are the drunken poo flingers,
Minus the dipshits.
I must bow to the
superior wisdom of
the signorina
Pinches, as always,
are gladly given at the
request of pinchee.
That wily Fes is on a roll today! Between his smooth talkin' and that big zuchinni, I'm getting all a-flutter.
Witchy, save me a glass!
Posted by: tizzie on April 25, 2003 04:43 PMi will always share
booze with my kentuckian
primate counterpart
I can't stay quiet!
Such a momentus event
Deserves to be noted!
Three cheers for monkeys
Who always find the humor
Within everything.
Before I return
To deep lurking mode, is this
The thread of the year?
a-flutter indeed
'twixt wine at work and smooth talk,
tiz, my cheeks are flushed
double entendre
aside, vast haiku powers:
Fes & Chef, all kneel
Today is the 50th anniversary of DNA
(Since I'm momentarily delurking ... If DNA has only been around for 50 years, does that mean my parents have no genes?)
Posted by: pardon me on April 25, 2003 05:17 PMI'm already there
How anticipatory
when there's good wine near
Aah! I've been verbed!
Happy birthday, '622. And many more.
Posted by: pfatt meff on April 25, 2003 05:28 PM*dances like no one is watching*
Hey! No one is watching!
Posted by: j.edwards on April 25, 2003 05:31 PMAlas, 'tis time for
me to depart; the timeclock
neareth cocktail hour,
And weekend beckons.
Once again, I must thank you
all, for myriad things:
perspicacity,
for one; tolerance for two,
but mostly, for being
the kind of people
with whom I'm proud to be called
a fellow monkey.
Good night, angels and
devils; Tomorrow begins
year two; tonight? DRINK!
Oh, I'm in tears at the threads that jonmc and pardonthou posted. Hey J-po, we need another search referral thread. Stat! Um, haiku is probably necessary:
eyes are wet from tears
you fuckers are funnier
than Charo naked.
A Haiku must be in order,
For this Birthday Celebration
Ok I'll try a...HaChoo, excuse me, I sneezed
As my Haiku
Is about as good
As a wet HaChoo
May this thread
Drink, be merry & devilish in play
Till the cows come home
If you don't look like Charo
Then party naked all day long
My 9622.net monkeyz...
Now may I have a beer...
Posted by: Thomcatspike on April 25, 2003 06:12 PMNinety Six Two Two
monkeys are in da hizz-ouse
Time to take a nap
sorry, all I got folks...
Just watched the end of "Two Headed Transplant"
wow that was crappy.
do not click this link
your whole day will be shot down
production ceases
Pardon, Pardon Me...
why are you only lurking?
You to should fling poo
More regularly.
Pardon my impolite query,
but Pardon is missed.
Finally, it's toasting time!
To the founders!
To the admins!
To the rest of us!
To the lurkers!
To the referring thingies!
God, I love this place!
lurk lurk flurry lurk
happy birthday flurry lurk
lurk lurk flur...more wine
I just mixed up a lovely shaker of margaritas, I had some salt ready, pint glass clean and waiting....
and then I realized I had no ice cubes. This is the alcholic equivalent of blue balls. Water does not crystalize fast enough, dammit.
Posted by: jonmc on April 25, 2003 10:15 PMNo ice? In New York? This early? I can't believe it, Jon. But I'm mixing up a pitcher of guitas too and, if necessary, will drink them warm!
I've been trying all day to open a chat room for 9622, to no avail - just to say hello and happy birthday. Anyone know any tricks?
Posted by: Miguel on April 25, 2003 10:24 PMOr the late-night munchies equivalent of trying to make a bowl of blueberry muffin mix just so you can eat the batter all night and realizing you don't have an egg.
Posted by: Cyrano on April 25, 2003 10:26 PMi am drinking the first one warm while the Mrs. cooks up some Trader Joes Crab Rangoon ravioli to be served in Vodka marinara.
Sha-weet.
Jon. Hi to Pip! And you both need this website, believe me: http://www.vodkaphiles.com/recipeout.cfm?ID=67
:)
hey, izzat Kindall in a sailor suit?
/me wants to eat dinner at Jonmc's.
Posted by: Vidiot on April 25, 2003 10:37 PMWell, Randy here, with his trusty computer, just located ColdChef for us!
"I guess my wish for the guys at 9622.net is that they all basically die."
This carpet transplant doesn't half make me fart, Doc."
Why thank you, dong.
*recomposes himself*
These newbies, no fuckin' respect for a founder's well-intentioned jokes. One mention in a Kaf editorial and they start slagging off the poor furriner's efforts.
*sends scurrilous memo about Cyrano to admins, on stiff cardboard*
Posted by: Miguel on April 26, 2003 03:59 PMStill, I'll leave the captions open on these next ones. ;)
Exhibit A:
EXHIBIT D:
Jonmc takes it upon himself to feed the starving children of the world, adjusting the reccomended diet ever so slightly...
Posted by: jonmc on April 26, 2003 04:11 PM
Happy Anniversary to all the 9622ites (or '2ites for short?), you bungee monkeys...
I've always wondered about the potential relationship between haiku and Hello Kitty.
And I always prefered Throwing Poo to Throwing Muses.
"9622.net is the true spirit of the internet. That's why it must be shut down"
- Whichever Politician You Hate Most
Caption A:
"Nearly shot off my mouth, there..."
or
"I think I just spotted Michael Moore in the third row... BELCH!"
Caption B:
"Plasticman ejected from the soccer/football game for making a goal while different parts of his body were at both ends of the field"
Caption C:
"Oh yeah, I'm ba-a-a-d! I'm one phat dope carnivore... Don't call me Simba, call me Siminem!"
Caption D:
"Asian Treats: Kids Don't Know It's Not Bacon!"
Caption E:
"Yes, I've been almost totally swallowed by this manatee, but I'm feelin' alright..."
Caption F:
"Artist's conception of the original Big Bang Creation of 9622.net"
Whatever!
This carpet transplant doesn't half make me fart, Doc."
Comedy gold.
Throwing her vote in for 9622 chat!
Posted by: tizzie on April 26, 2003 05:02 PMlate to the party--
bearing poo-laden tidings
for you simians.
________________________
happy, happy, joy, joy!
you all have rescued me from many a bad day. Thanks!
Exhibit A:
"These are my cold dead hands..."
Exhibit B:
"Okay, punk -- you've earned yourself a swirlie in the locker room for sure!"
Exhibit D:
One of the highlights of your visit to PorkLand is when a trained biologist offers bacon to a feral child. Don't try this at home!
Exhibit E:
Johnny Cash adopts a child from Iran. After the initial culture shock, she's adapting quite nicely.
Dammit, I missed the anniversary. I was still in the frickin' hospital. (Long story, no need to go into it all at the moment, things will be better soon, all that stuff). The important thing is -
Thanks to everyone for a great year. Happy Birthday 9622.net, and best wishes to all the friends I have made along the way.
Posted by: yhbc on April 26, 2003 09:37 PMCommish! We saved you some cake!
errr, sorry. Wasn't cake, was it?
Posted by: tizzie on April 26, 2003 11:56 PMMigs, I was actually referring to myself. Four hours or so of vodka drinking after Waking Up In The Middle Of The Goddamn Night Thinking About Her will make one a bit punchy.
;)
Posted by: Cyrano on April 27, 2003 02:54 PMBuck up, Cyrano. It ain't all that bad.
I'd also like to say that it's been a privilege and an honor to know such estimable monkeys. TJ has brought an interesting facet to my otherwise non-internet-complicated life.
Phlbbbbt!
Posted by: Mars Crash on April 27, 2003 09:03 PM...Also, I'd like to say that I miss Fish-O-Phile and Pikachu Lolita.
Posted by: Mars Crash on April 27, 2003 09:14 PMMan, now I feel all guilty about bumming out the thread.
Here, lemme try to happy it up again...
Where is the Ichthyophile?!
*sigh*
I miss Fishfucker. And his name is so poetic.
Posted by: readymade on April 28, 2003 12:40 AMJeezus H. Presley with nuts & berries. I picked a bad time to go off and shoot a video. I was suffering out there in the sun the last couple of days.
Happy anniversary to the 'toot, from the last one to the party. Y'all have made these last few months a bit more bearable. I loves youse, alla ya, you simian freaks.
Posted by: Chico on April 28, 2003 03:34 PMHello? Anyone left? Hm.
(Sees everyone laying about, smiling and unconscious, smeared with poo and fully spent from the days-long anniversary bacchanalia, he cracks open the last warm Schlitz and starts with the dishes while Nina Simone sings mournfully in the background, and the first fingers of light reach through the blinds in this, the second glorious year in the life of our meeting place.
Seja bem, Old Year of Our Monkey.
Guten Morgen, Brand New Year of Our Monkey.)
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