9622.net

That guy in #5 looks like a slightly-less-manic Jim Carey. The dog, however, is truly handsome even though his nose is on crooked.

#4 looks like she's got her thumb where...well, where the sun doesn't proverbially shine.

Why is Oksana Baiul holding a pair of rats???

PS: nice camel toe!

Also: we really should try to do something to save those defenseless baby orangs from Leno's inanities. PETA's going to throw a shitfit.

I'd just like to say that today is my MetaFilter second birthday.

And my six month anniversary.

An actual conversation from this morning:

Me: You know what today is?
Wife: Of course!
Me: You do?
Wife: Sure.
Me: Today is my second MetaFilter anniversary!
Wife: Oh. It's also your six month WEDDING anniversary. But congratulations to you and Miguel.

I considered telling her that Miguel doesn't hit number 2 until later this year, but I let it drop.

I turn Mefi-two in a week from yesterday. Gift-wise, I'm probably just getting the finger again this year.

The only good thing about MeFi lately is it makes us look good by comparison.

[/bitch]

Picture 2: OK, can anyone prove that those two Chihuahuas are actually alive and not corpses packed full of pharmaceutical-grade China White? Shame on you, Oksana.

Picture 4: She's holding that dog like a six-pack! Shame on you, whatever your name is.

It's not one finger per anniversary? Shit, and I thought I had something to look forward to.

Vidiot, in my experience, the number of fingers is determined by how, um, relaxed you are.

Or how much lube you use.

uh, clarification would merely lead to further embarrassment, so I'll just shut up now.

9622: clarification would merely lead to further embarrassment

Or how much lube you use.

Someday, I would like to buy Tizzie a drink. And this is only one of the reasons.

Oh yeah, Vidiot, bring your camera again today, I'm sure we'll find photoworthy shit on today mission.

You two are on another gustatory mission? I better go buy stock in Rolaids.

(awwww, thanks, Cowboy Sally!)

When you go out with Tizzie, the waiter will buy your second drink for you (or maybe he just felt bad that I was sitting with such a lush).

Witchie, we're just damn friendly hereabouts.

Plus, I probably put that guy's kids thru school on my bartab.

Half-Gustatory, Half-Musical, tiz.

Also, I mite disturbed that, if the "What I'm listening to widget on my blog is correct, I seem to have fallen asleep listening to Bocephus. Insane quantities of beer bring out my inner bubba, apparently.

bring your camera again today

Will do. Now I really should get off the computer so I can go to the bank, pay my rent, run errands, etc in time to meet up with you.

and when cowboysally buys tizzie that drink, I sure as hell wanna eavesdrop.

I didn't get the job. Is it ok for me to torch the office?

Only in a nice way, adam.

(sorry to hear that, by the way.)

Bummer, dude. Keep tryin', the worm will turn.

Sorry to hear that, adam. Jeez. Yeah, torch the office! Slash the seats! I've got the brickbats ready.

Adam, they are not worthy to inhale after you pass gas.

At least he was nice about it. And to think that their office was directly across the street from a White Castle.

On second thought, this may be a good thing after all.

Ah, White Castle. Site of one of my parent's first dates. So you can thank that turreted alabaster house of grease for the amazing specimen of manhood you've come to know.

why am I not surprised, jon?

Weren't you supposed to pay your rent?? Git a move on....

Sorry to hear about the job, Adam. On the other hand, not getting a job is a great excuse for wallowing in self-pity and binge-drinking, so it's not all bad.

Also, I have no idea who the last 3 people in the pictures are. And I have a teevee and everything!

I considered telling her that Miguel doesn't hit number 2 until later this year, but I let it drop.

Thanks for the laugh Chef...

a great excuse for wallowing in self-pity and binge-drinking.

My ears are burning.

And, of course, ear-burning. Thank you for reminding me of the ear-burning, Cyrano.

Summer Sanders is an ex-Olympic swimmer and host of various shows for kids (I remember one on Nickelodeon that was fucking horrible the "celebrity" judges (who were mostly all from Nick shows as well) had to guess what a kid had accomplished). She looks disturbingly like my Chilean high school Spanich teacher. I took three years of Spanish for a reason.

Thank you all. Actually, it's probably for the better, as it was longer hours and fewer dollas than I wanted, so I guess it's better that I am free to look elsewhere.

Your suggestion sounds great, but I don't drink. It's days like this that I damn near want to take it up again, tho.

And, if you didn't get a mix from me, you can download the songs.

Summer Sanders's dog[in a yawning voice]
Aww...you think my master would be famous enough on her own, she would wear her own ensemble..ruff.

Melonie Hamel's dog, not Summer Sanders's dog, read the notes wrong should of just said #3...whooops.

ColdChef, your musings about your mefi birthday prompted me to look up my own. I am two today, too! Where's the feckin' cake? Let's do something "terrible".

... like get sushi, and not pay.

Thanks Adam for the mp3s, should of said mp4 to coincide with two other comments I made.

Have a nice weekend all...off to the big office for an end of the season work party...beer & wine included.

my 2 year is june 15, but my 2 year for first going to the site is may 19, i think. the day after the kaycee nicole story broke.

ha, coldchef, the first comment i remember of yours was in this thread about NYT article about goodlooking people which followed this model around and i pointed out that her boyfriend wore izod shirts, which was probably why he wasn't getting into the "trendy" clubs. you agreed with me and i knew then that you were a good 'un.

My first encounter with the Chef was in the infamous Ben & Jerry's thread, where he coughed a boatload of the good ones...

*blows a kiss to whatnot and witchstone*

Hi, I'm ColdChef. You may remember me from such threads as "Celebrity Ice Cream: Attack of OREOSpeedwagon" or "Haiku for You: A Primer."

I can remember hourly checking threads back in Aught-One for recent comments from Stavros and Kaf and beating myself about the face and neck because they were infinitely funnier than me.

And I remember this as the first time I jumped to the aid of Miguel who I claimed to love.

Later, I came to the startling realization that I actually did.

Oooh. Here's where I brought monkeys into it.

Get your own blog, fuckwit! Or wait--is this the ColdChef episode of This is Your Metafilter?

*winks saucily*

you know you have arrived at mefi once some asshole tells you to get your own blog (fuckwit). it is a rite of passage. a beautiful thing.

Interesting. The two-year annie of when I first signed up for MeFi was last month, apparently. I should've cashed in on that one. Would've too if my user name was a little less true to my real one.

Happy 2nd to all of you though. My official one won't be until December.

My two year is July 30th.

Two years? Monkeys, puh-lease!

My 3 year anniversary comes around in August.

Such BABIES!

Meant to inlcude a link.

*waits for jonmc to come in and flaunt imminent 4-year anniversary.*

Take this MetaFilter silliness elsewhere! I envision a ragtag nomadic caravan sweeping across the plains, looking for a port where they may recline and discuss their user numbers.

*pelts everyone else with condemned cole slaw*

Do know that I am merely joshing with my braggart-y ways. I've less than 100 comments and under 5 FPPs in 3 years. I barely consider myself a MeFite.

I just think it's really funny when people do do that.

I think I'll go post a dramatic goodbye over there that insinuates what a bunch of subhuman cretins everyone but me is.

*eats condemend cole-slaw*

Hey, this tastes better than the regular shit

*muppets around the cubicle with eyes bugged out chanting lines from Beowulf and spitting up hearts, stars, moons, diamonds, horseshoes, and red balloons.*

post-toasties!

And then reload the page 500 times a minute for the next 3 days.

Every time some dicksmack does that, I just know they are reloading that thread continuously until their fingers bleed.

Dicksmack is good.

Chickenfucker is good.

Cockface is good.

but Ratatouille-Ass can't be beat!

Actually I've always been fond of "Pudwhacker" because it implies that the recipient of said epithet does not even warrant the use of a precious swearword, and instead deserves only a somewhat innocuous and confusing insult.

whatever, hamspanker.

Nadlicker

buttwhiffer

Kafkaesque tells me to get my own damn blog.

choadsmoker

apesnaker

scabscratcher

taintmuncher

I've loved Kaf ever since he dressed me down. That's when I knew he and I were friends.

I can't lay claim to dicksmack.

But, I also like FuckNozzle, fuckass, dicklick and gaper.

skeeterpeter

I've loved Kaf ever since he dressed me down.

I remember it well! Chef ws wearing Aramis, I was wearing Windsong.

Like the corners of my mind.

Queeb
Fuckstick
Entropic Honeyguzzler

Doorknob is kind of nice too.
As are:

Milquetoast
Melbatoast
Toasterhead
Nunstroker

calling someone Burt Reynolds is always degrading too.

Someone should really get dong_resin in here.

cunni bunny
Horatio Fellatio
whimsical piece of sumo shit

Omigod! I can't believe I missed all the MeFi memories! I think Kaf was the first to give me a good MeFi ribbing, and I promptly ran and hid again. Or maybe it was Optamystic. But it was one of my MeFi crushes. Now I reserve my internet crushes for simians only. And one chicken.

And the Ben and Jerry's thread! It might be one of the only threads in which I actually entered more than one comment.It was always the ridiculous threads that intrigued me. No wonder I ended up here.

Memories
Light the corners of my mind
Misty watercolor memories
Of the way we were...

"Queeb" is uncomfortably close to my real name, which 13 year old boys picked up immediately and persisted in calling me "Queebie, queebie" when they wanted my horrified attention.

It pains me still.

I hit the 2 year mark on the 16th.
So far the only person I can remember being a dick to me at metafilter was y2karl, who then did a 180 and apologized to me as if I were a mob boss via email. Maybe he was being sarcastic, I didn't mouse over each word to check.
I think he's a tiny bit unbalanced, that one.

Reading back some of the old 9622 threads, it seems a I faun over Kafkaesque a lot. I don't think I intended this. I don't know what I was going for, particularly when all I really ever wanted was hot sex with eyeballkid.

Don't we all.

Unrequited lust is a fucking bitch.

(And I should point out that dong resin invited me here initially. You have only him to blame.)

Don't stop the fawning! I love the fawning!

This isn't about you, Kafka, I'm just beginning to learn that I don't necessarily need a man to be contented in life. I've been watching a lot of Oprah lately, and I'm coming to grips with some things at long last. Hell, I'll always care for you, but it's well past time I get to know dong resin again.

Metaphorically, I mean.

fawn away.
you can fawn away.
stay all day, if you want to.

please?

post!

I...I think I need a tissue.

That is a wonderfully ambiguous statement.

Or simply gross, I can't decide.

9622.net: I think I need a tissue.

I jus got home from the second 9622 boys nite out. It was fun. I'm drunk and sweaty. we took pictures. You will laugh.

Photos of drunk sweaty boys...I better do more than laugh!

I left vidiot and chicobangs at grand central station. They may still be passed out at the oyster bar or something.

Also there's not much that's more inspiring than watching your short order cook do curls behing the counter.

I also have decided that my alter ego is "Snik Snak Skaduliak" in honor of the Go-Nuts.

I can't believe I missed all the epithet tossing whilst I was out restaurant reviewing. And the fawning! Damn, I missed the fawning.

The good news is that I came home to an Uncle Fes CD, and it is soooo groovin'!

*smooches*

I'm only recently up after getting home around 5am. (Oyster Bar was closed, so we were forced to find a conventional bar for the next couple of rounds, and then to a diner.)

I'm gonna go put up the pictures now. I'm frightened of what I'll find. (Brittney, I think all you'll do is laugh.)

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