I'd just like to point out that Ufez is, apparently, a cheater or something.
Sure, some would argue that he's just plain better at fantasy soccer than either I (the Torn ACLs) or kafkaesque (The Scampi of Doom). But I prefer to make unfounded accusations than face my own inadequacies. It's just my way.
Posted by jpoulos at May 12, 2003 01:40 PMUfez is a good boy! Stop saying those awful things about him, or I'll come over to your house and kick your mom's ass.
Posted by: Ufez's Soccer Mom on May 12, 2003 02:24 PMThat game kind of sucks because there's no message board or anything. I want to preen and posture and bemoan cruel fate!
Posted by: kaf on May 12, 2003 02:37 PMDammit mom, ever since that kid pantsed me in Cub Scouts you've been trying to fight my fights for me. I've told you before, I'm old enough to handle it myself now! And dammit woman, where are my crackers and lemonade?!? And I want Ritz, not those nasty Wheat Thins you keep buying!
As for my lead, it's pure, blind luck. It wouldn't have anything to do with my setting up the league or having an uncle that works for the Sporting News web department*.
I'd trade 200 points for a Burn win though. Sheesh.
*this is a bald-faced lie. My uncle is actually an ex-hippie that now builds stuff out of wood in his garage.
Posted by: ufez on May 12, 2003 02:38 PMReally, my uncle is an ex-semi-hippie who installs cable and kills bugs. One of em anyway.
Posted by: jonmc on May 12, 2003 02:41 PMIs it too late to sign up? I'm insanely addicted to Kings of Chaos right now, but want to try my hand at a fantasy sports dealie sometime soon.
Posted by: adampsyche on May 12, 2003 02:45 PMIs it too late to sign up?
I don't think so Adam, but be advised, we're five weeks (or about 1/6 or so) into the season, so you'll be at a bit of a disadvantage. See here for more details.
And Kaf, there are weekly update and shit-talking threads in the Locker Room, if you don't mind slinging shit with the knob-knockers that are in there (myself included). Here's this weeks.
Posted by: ufez on May 12, 2003 02:52 PMYeah, it would be a little late, as I would guess, just by the time that has gone by, and the fact that I don't know how to play anyway.
Ah, well. You all can join my army of dwarves, though. We kick ass.
Posted by: adampsyche on May 12, 2003 02:58 PMfantasy league soccer?
What happened, did your DM leave for grad school or something?
Posted by: Fes on May 12, 2003 03:03 PMBut soccer is the official sport of 9622!
*waits patiently for hockey input*
Posted by: kaf on May 12, 2003 03:12 PMAnd just wait til Fantasy Darts! Now that is big fun! Or fantasy bowling!
Posted by: kaf on May 12, 2003 03:14 PMWhile sumo, once again, is unjustly relegated to second-class status?
Now fantasy LAWN darts, count me in.
Posted by: Fes on May 12, 2003 03:15 PMsilent arc, point down
not recommended for kids
fantasy lawn darts
Dammit?! Dammit?! Is that how you talk to your mother? After all the meals I defrosted for you!
*sob*
Here's your Ritz, but the lemonade has vodka mixed in. And it's no wonder why!
but the lemonade has vodka mixed in. And it's no wonder why!
Oddly enough, my mom has been constantly giving me shit for falling down at the bowling alley on our vacation last week. She was drunk too!
Posted by: ufez on May 12, 2003 03:26 PM"look out!" screamed Mom from
the porch. My brother Boo had
no chance: toe severed.
When y'all start fantasy curling, let me know. I'll have my broom ready.
Posted by: adampsyche on May 12, 2003 03:37 PMThis man must be stopped at all costs. Forget tar & feathers, I say we use marshmallow and oreo crumbs.
Posted by: jonmc on May 12, 2003 03:49 PMban my oreos?
Suck it, Hitler-boy! take your
wheat germ and shove it.
Oreo filling.
Much better than lollipops,
to watch a lickin'
This man must be stopped at all costs. Forget tar & feathers, I say we use marshmallow and Oreo crumbs.
Today you sue;{old timers voice} back in the day, you make a better product to sell to put them out of business, dope.
Man, the poor kids of California, glad to be gone{yet plan to be back in 3years}. Wiat most health nuts wouldn't go this far, or have they? Saying this as I see more granolas in Texas.
I was chatting with Ufez recently and he brought up his "soccer fantasy league." I thought he meant "fantasy" as in "popular in America" so I really paid no heed. What I do remember from the conversation was his philosophy on picking players. It involved darts.
Posted by: eyeballkid on May 12, 2003 04:56 PMToday you sue;{old timers voice} back in the day, you make a better product to sell to put them out of business, dope.
Ha! I defy any mortal to create a substance as perfect as the Oreo Cookie!
Posted by: cowboy_sally on May 12, 2003 05:34 PMHydrox ain't bad -- the creme is wetter. And the new Chocolate Creme Oreos are much better than I'd expected.
Posted by: Vidiot on May 12, 2003 05:47 PMI'd put money on a Softball Mom over a Soccer Mom any day of the week. They have bats.
Posted by: Cyrano on May 12, 2003 05:48 PMHa! I defy any mortal to create a substance as perfect as the Oreo Cookie!
you've never had a Deep Fried Mars Bar, I take it.
And the Garbage Plate at Nick Tahou's in Rochester is pretty damn good too. (And I just wanted to type "garbage plate.")
Posted by: Vidiot on May 12, 2003 05:49 PM9622.net: the creme is wetter.
A mind in the gutter is a terrible thing to waste.
Ah! The nastiness of the orange-cremed Hallowe'en Oreos cannot be matched, unless it is by the Hallowe'en Hostess SnoBall, which is truly not fit for human ingestion.
Posted by: kaf on May 12, 2003 06:16 PMHydrox, while a suitable (and vegan) alternative, will never surpass the perfection of the Oreo.
(And anyone who thinks so is a chowderhead!!!)
Posted by: cowboy_sally on May 12, 2003 06:51 PMSweet Jeebus, j-po. I just copped to the name of your fantasy team.
Ouch. Ouch. Ouch.
And since we're talking footie, this week is the 2nd round of the Champions League semi-finales. Inter-Milan derby tomorrow, and (*crossing fingers*) Juventus-Real Madrid on Wednesday. The first round of semi's last week were beautifully fierce- if you folks Stateside can get it on cable, do.
Posted by: romakimmy on May 12, 2003 07:14 PMYes, the UEFA Champions League matches are on ESPN 2. I caught the Man U - Real Madrid matches.
Real is crazy good. Seems unfair to have all those stars on one team!
Posted by: kaf on May 12, 2003 07:17 PMReal is crazy good. Seems unfair to have all those stars on one team!
And now they want Beckham too. I caught the first leg of the Madrid-Juventus matchup. I'll have to tape the second one while I'm at work and watch it later. Here's rootin' for the Juvvies.
Posted by: ufez on May 12, 2003 09:06 PMI love the word chowderhead. Especially when said with a brooklyn accent thus rendering it "chowdah-head."
Also I used to take two Oreo Double Stuf and eat one cookie off of each then stick em together to make Quadruble Stuf. After a few of those, I'd go outside and chase cars.
Also the the White Fuge Covered Oreos are mighty fine. Sort of the pink Peruvian Flake of the cookie world.
Posted by: jonmc on May 12, 2003 10:30 PMTONIGHT ONLY AT THE 9622 ARENADOME:
Murderous Twinge
with special guests
Vengeful Urine
That link gave me a festering, pus-filled boil, three gallons of "light" mayonaisse and a failing grade on my LSATs.
Posted by: jpoulos on May 13, 2003 11:42 AMWhen I was a kid, I was walking out in the countryside one day when I stumbled into a clearing filled with deer and elves. They looked like they were planning something. I realized then that the deer were up to no good.
Clicking on this link was kind of like that.
Posted by: kaf on May 13, 2003 11:52 AMThat link gave me a festering
Hey now. Let's not get personal. That creme was wetter when I got there.
Posted by: Fes on May 13, 2003 12:33 PMas an aside, I saw Vengeful Urine in '94 and they were fabulous.
Posted by: Fes on May 13, 2003 12:37 PMWe've got urine on the brain here, don't we? What would freud say?
Posted by: jonmc on May 13, 2003 12:40 PMVee haf vays of maching you lern das Cherman vrom das Simpsons, fraulein.
Posted by: Fes on May 13, 2003 12:58 PMGerman sounds best when yelled at the top of one's lungs. Just watch Das Boots if you don't believe me.
Posted by: adampsyche on May 13, 2003 01:46 PMDas Boots? Wasn't that the All-German version of Riverdance?
Posted by: jpoulos on May 13, 2003 01:47 PMI saw it on Cinemax, it's full title is "Knockin' Das Boots." At first, I was somewhat interested, then I grew more interested, then more intersted, even MORE intersted, more, mooooore, MORE, MOOOOOOOOREEEE...
...and then I lost interest.
Posted by: Fes on May 13, 2003 01:52 PMLanguages of Love:
Vietnamese, then German,
and then Arabic.
Das Boots is actually short for Das Boot 2: Electric Boogaloo.
Posted by: cowboy_sally on May 13, 2003 01:54 PMI think there was a Spike Lee joint released shortly afterward called Das Booty. But this* is unconfirmed at the present time.
[*has anyone ever had an English prof tell them never to use the word "this" as a noun without the signifier immediately afterward? what, like it's that freaking hard to remember what I was referring to?]
Posted by: adampsyche on May 13, 2003 02:03 PMOn preview, jonmc stole my thunder. Give it back, dammit!
Posted by: adampsyche on May 13, 2003 02:04 PMUnd Das Blingen-Blingen, yass.
Actually germans in the hood would be difficult since no Deutschlander would allow precious bier to fall on der kurb.
Posted by: jonmc on May 13, 2003 02:14 PMWenn ist das Nunstruck git und Slotermeyer? Ja!...
Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!
Unsinnig in der Membrane,
die unsinnig ist im Gehirn!
Vite line
Iss going through zee mind
Vite line
Iss driving me out of zee mind
Ist like der Jongle.
Zumtime it Machen me vunder
How ich Keepen vrom goink Ünter.
Itz hart to tell vether ve are Cherman or Yiddish.
Und yet:
Ich bin ein nachtmare valken
Psychopath talken
All I vanna do ist Zoom Zoom Zoom Und Der Boom Boom
Just Shaken Za Roomp...
Posted by: jonmc on May 13, 2003 03:14 PMCan't believe no one's said it yet, but:
DON'T MENTION THE WAR!
I mentioned it once, but I think I got away with it.
Ve haf meat hier! In ze buildink!
Posted by: Vidiot on May 13, 2003 03:16 PMfur shizzle meine nizzle.
*stands*
*cheers*
Also,
Mutter zed nach Sie outen
Ich gehe zu nach Sie outen
Don't be excited by the Shmuck that ich gott
I'm just still fraulein from the block?
Don't be excited by the Shmuck that ich gott
I'm just still fraulein from the block?
We all rue the day someone showed Miguel how to post inline images...
Posted by: jpoulos on May 13, 2003 03:27 PMHee hee, Lupo. As I never tire of pointing out, it was dong resin who kindly set out the instructions for me. :)
Posted by: Miguel on May 13, 2003 03:41 PM*launches into rendition of Beach Boys' "That's Not Me" from "Pet Sounds".
Posted by: Miguel on May 13, 2003 06:48 PM*launches into rendition of Beach Boys' "That's Not Me" from "Pet Sounds".
with the added chorus no, no...sounded more like It ain't me babe...
Impersonating a Portuguese cult author is punishable by pummelling with poo.
Beware.
Posted by: tizzie on May 13, 2003 08:57 PMI for one am totally offended that this thread has drifted from it's intended topic, (the praise of one such monkey, i.e. ME) into this filth of urine and poo. And I held you all to higher standards!
Posted by: ufez on May 14, 2003 01:29 AMDon't be sore ufez, this thread had everything pee, poop, soccer, oreos,gender confusion and german rap.
If we don't have bizarre thread drift then the terrorists have already won.
Posted by: jonmc on May 14, 2003 09:37 AMWait a minute, the pee and the gender confusion are in the next thread over.
My bad.
Posted by: jonmc on May 14, 2003 09:40 AMThat's incorrect. Miguel is a greedy bastard who never gives reacharounds.
Posted by: jonmc on May 14, 2003 10:24 AMRight, I'm sick of these impersonations. I'm changing my Monica.
Posted by: Miguel on May 14, 2003 10:39 AM/me never thought he'd see the day when Migs starts talking with a Bawston accent
Posted by: Vidiot on May 14, 2003 10:42 AM/me never thought he'd see the day when Migs starts talking with a Bawston accent
Posted by: Vidiot on May 14, 2003 10:42 AMI loaded the page, scrolled way down and this was the first thing I saw.
Miguel, the commonalities between us are truly staggering.
Posted by: brittney on May 14, 2003 02:16 PM*throws water on lupo*
C'mon, get up. You act as if this is the first time you've heard Miguel and Brittney discuss their mutual penchant for fellatio. Where you been, man!
*tries to look nonchalant while vainly attempting to hide brittney-induced 'discomfort'*
Posted by: Fes on May 14, 2003 03:27 PMI bet, though, I could learn much from Miguel who is, undoubtedly, the Dick Suckin' Master.
Posted by: brittney on May 14, 2003 04:02 PMI mean, 'cause we could all stand to improve our skills at the hands of the Master!
Posted by: readymade
on
May 14, 2003 04:06 PM
I mean, 'cause we could all stand to improve our skills at the hands of the Master!
Hands. Yes. Now you're getting it. It's all about the hands.
Damn, now I'm sorry I can't be in New York for the 23rd. :-)
Posted by: jpoulos on May 14, 2003 04:33 PM*finds a 10-foot pole*
*feels inadequate for some strange reason*
Posted by: Cyrano on May 14, 2003 04:36 PMHands, yes. And vocalizing during the act.
Both those things are essential.
That, and big, floppy clown shoes. The mens LOVE those.
Posted by: brittney on May 14, 2003 04:36 PMHoly Christ's Crap!
I finally return and this is what I read about? Reacharounds and whatnot?
For shame.
The firey gates of hell open wide for you primates.
Posted by: BunnyF**e on May 14, 2003 04:41 PMJesus would almost certainly grant a reacharound.
He's a Giver.
Posted by: jpoulos on May 14, 2003 04:42 PMReacharound is one of my favorite sex terms ever. That and Nantucket Clam Roll.
Posted by: cowboy_sally on May 14, 2003 04:45 PMWhoa, what is a Nantucket Clam Roll?
And maybe my favoritest of all: Donkey Punch.
Posted by: brittney on May 14, 2003 04:46 PMI prefer the term "Dirty Sanchez." Or, alternatively, "Dirty Hitler."
Posted by: ColdChef on May 14, 2003 04:46 PMAlso, I never heard any of these terms before I met you people.
Posted by: ColdChef on May 14, 2003 04:47 PMJust be careful y'all.
Cunnilingus is a lot like being in the mafia: One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit.
This is not necessarily a bad thing...
Posted by: jonmc on May 14, 2003 04:53 PMSomebody tell B****fire what a donkey punch is.
I dare ya.
Posted by: jpoulos on May 14, 2003 04:53 PMI'm not actually sure if Nantucket Clam Roll is in fact a real sex act or just a product of someone with a slightly wackier imagination than GG Allin, but the definition is so vile, so awful, that even I, I who bring 9622 to new lows with every post, cannot in good conscience post it here.
I also like "shitpigs."
Posted by: cowboy_sally on May 14, 2003 04:54 PMWhat? That's like telling my mom, and I'm sure as hell not going to do that.
And where's amberglow when you need someone to bring up felching?
Posted by: ufez on May 14, 2003 04:55 PMIncidentally this is an invaluable (NSFW) resource.
Posted by: cowboy_sally on May 14, 2003 04:57 PMWe used to have a neighborhood bullshitter who'd talk about a trick with an alka-seltzer tablet. Can anyone verify that that's real, or is it an urban legend?
Posted by: jpoulos on May 14, 2003 04:58 PMTHANK YOU, cowboy_sally. That site is possibly the finiest illustration of why I love the internet.
For B****fire, from the sexual connotations dictionary Ms. Sally linked above:
Donkey Punch: Banging a girl doggy style and then moments before you cum, sticking your dick in her ass, and then punching her in the back of the head. This should give you a tremendous sensation, but for it to work correctly, the girl must be knocked out so that her asshole tightens up.
(There is no fucking shame in my game, people.)
Posted by: brittney on May 14, 2003 05:04 PMCan anyone verify that that's real, or is it an urban legend?
Has anyone ever seen that Canadian call-in sex show lady on the Oxygen network? It's kind of like Love Line but a whole lot creepier b/c the host (I think her name is Anne something) is over 50 and wrinkly. Anyways, she had a special on a few weeks ago with homemade sex toys, which was a farce, b/c she just talked about putting electric toothbrushes on her clit (like nobody had ever thought of that). Anyways a caller called in and talked about plopping in an Alka-Seltzer and oh what a relief it was. So, there's some sort of weird Canadian validation for you.
Posted by: ufez on May 14, 2003 05:09 PMBrittney, also from that dictionary:
The Tony Danza: Similar to the Donkey Punch, only just as the male is about to blow, he yells out "Who's the Boss?" and then he punches her in the back of the head.
He he.
Posted by: cowboy_sally on May 14, 2003 05:09 PMCS, I'm calling my friend Mark to read him that over the phone as I type this.
Posted by: brittney on May 14, 2003 05:22 PMThe Jedi Mind Trick: When banging your partner, you repeatedly shout "I'm NOT fucking you, I'm NOT fucking you".
Posted by: brittney on May 14, 2003 05:27 PMOh...oh, my.
"Hands up...baby hands up...gimme your heart, gimme gimme your heart, gimme gimme..."
Posted by: metrocake on May 14, 2003 05:53 PMI have just spent the last 90+ minutes creaming my panties...
CHAMPIONS LEAUGE SPOILER - highlight the next line
Juventus 3 (Trezugeut, Del Piero, Nedved) - Real Madrid 1 (Zidane). We're goin' to the finals, bay-be. Forza Juve!
*blows post-coital smoke rings while idly ruminating on The Bucking Bronco*
Posted by: romakimmy on May 14, 2003 06:02 PMThe Bucking Bronco:
While doing it doggy-style with your girlfriend, grab her pigtails then whisper sweetly into her ear:
"Your mom/sister is much better in bed."
Hold on for dear life. Spurs optional.
Posted by: romakimmy on May 14, 2003 06:11 PMfelicidades, roma (I don't know Italian, you'll have to settle for Spanish).
I hate the team that lost. Spoilt bastards. (the guy that scored the goal for them excluded.)
And may I add:
9622.net: I have just spent the last 90+ minutes creaming my panties...
Posted by: ufez on May 14, 2003 06:26 PMI don't think I like you people any more.
Posted by: stavrosthewonderchicken on May 14, 2003 07:26 PMNo, wait, that was just indigestion.
Shall I dance for you now?
Posted by: stavrosthewonderchicken on May 14, 2003 07:27 PMNow this thread is unraveling to the point of nekkidness, Oh my! Hurray!!!
Posted by: Thomcatspike on May 14, 2003 07:51 PMNo kidding! I have a seminar all day and this is what happens.
There wasn't one reacharound at the whole meeting.
Posted by: tizzie on May 14, 2003 08:32 PMThis is the most socially irredeemable thread I have ever, ever, read on 9622.net, and it really goes a long way towards explaining just why this sort of irresponsible behaviour had to be contained within a smaller, more secure milieu which would not contaminate the cultured society at large
Cool. Thanks!
Posted by: yhbc on May 14, 2003 09:28 PM/me *winks* at lupo, since everyone seems to be doing awful things already.
Posted by: yhbc on May 14, 2003 09:29 PMCan a chicken, even a wonder chicken, ever truly be naked or is he just plucked? And basted? and if so in what?
It's all beside the point, anyways. I'd dance naked for everyone's delight but my assis all covered in talcum powder and I'm afraid I'd raise a cloud of dust like pigpen.
Posted by: jonmc on May 14, 2003 09:41 PMReplace "delight" with "disgust" and "talcum powder" with "skid marks", and you'll see why I won't be dancing.
Posted by: Vidiot on May 14, 2003 10:36 PM*watches the youngsters celebrate their sexuality with good-natured bemusement, secure in the knowledge that, with age and experience, comes control and expertise. In the end (heh), you can do all the freaky shit you want, but if you can't bring her off, you might just as well be doing push-ups, sweetheart*
So, romakimmy, how you doin'? *long smile*
Posted by: Fes on May 15, 2003 12:01 AM*puts on the Sinatra, dials Fes's number, refusing to embrace this contemporary foolishness*
No, really - all the beautiful sexual violence should be conducted through the fucking itself. Put your backbone into it, lads. All this slapping and punching is a turn-off.
Slow and long and hard and wet and sweet, with lots of dirty talk is also good.
Nowadays all the porn films feature hair-pulling and slapping. Me no like.
Posted by: Miguel on May 15, 2003 08:12 AM9622.net: Slow and long and hard and wet and sweet, with lots of dirty talk is also good.
Posted by: jpoulos on May 15, 2003 08:33 AMFor some reason I feel like I've stumbled into the morning after. Like when you're in college and you come home around 7 am and all your (male) roommates are sitting around in their underpants, with rueful and sheepish looks on their faces. Fes, jpo, adam, miguel....and no ladies in sight since 12:04.
Posted by: cowboy_sally on May 15, 2003 09:27 AMThey've been in the drawing room playing canasta. They had me make tea for them. I was happy to do it, although this french maids outfit is kind of binding.
Posted by: jonmc on May 15, 2003 09:42 AMroommates are sitting around in their underpants, with rueful and sheepish looks on their faces
*yawns, scratches, puts on pants*
Who wants coffee?
Posted by: Fes on May 15, 2003 09:57 AM*sigh*
Oh, allright, I'll put the kettle on!
damned heels are killing me
Posted by: jonmc on May 15, 2003 10:01 AMAre we going to get around to talking about blowjobs again? It was like Penthouse Forum without the black plastic bag yesterday.
"Dear 9622.net, I never thought it would happen to me, but..."
Posted by: Cyrano on May 15, 2003 10:24 AM"... I'd pretty resigned myself to a night of reading another "une Caption, s'il vous plait" thread, where there was a knock at the door. I yelled, "Who is it?" and the reply came back: "Thundersluts!" And then something happened to me that changed my life..."
Posted by: Fes on May 15, 2003 10:26 AMYou better watch where you're going with this, or I'll be forced to show Mrs. Fes the teabagging photos from last night's revelry.
Posted by: cowboy_sally on May 15, 2003 10:29 AMlike Penthouse Forum without the black plastic bag yesterday.
Hey, I thought *I* was the only one into autoerotic asphyxiation around these parts!
Posted by: cowboy_sally on May 15, 2003 10:31 AM*has sudden revelation while looking at tea service and becomes unhinged*
Posted by: jonmc on May 15, 2003 10:32 AM
Allow me to restore some remnant of proportion here, you scurvy pervs. For is not Monica Belucci is the only reason real men will be watching Matrix Reloaded?
Ah Monica Belucci. She even made a 12-minute long rape scene seem a little bit less horrendous. No, no she didn't.
But seeing her later romping around naked kind of helped ease the pain.
That said, I still haven't seen the first Matrix.
Posted by: ufez on May 15, 2003 11:49 AMMorning after? Meh. I'm more of a "Morning Glory" girl myself.
Slow and long and hard and wet and sweet, with lots of dirty talk is also good.
Santo cielo, Migs. If you are half as talented in between the sheets as you are with cobbling a phrase, your wife must be one satisfied chica. *fans self*
I'm with ya, ufez.
There can never be enough naked romping.
Posted by: jonmc on May 15, 2003 12:01 PMCollege + morning after = the stench of sour beer. "Ah, how I love the smell of sour beer in the morning."
Damn. Now I'm thirsty and my tounge feels fuzzy.
Posted by: metrocake on May 15, 2003 12:03 PM*fans self*
*quick stab of jealousy*
*recovers quickly. It's Miguel, after all. There's no shame in losing to a Master*
*orders gimlet, resumes air of imperturbability*
Posted by: Fes on May 15, 2003 12:03 PMCollege + morning after = the stench of sour beer. "Ah, how I love the smell of sour beer in the morning."
Damn. Now I'm thirsty and my tounge feels fuzzy.
Posted by: metrocake on May 15, 2003 12:03 PM*****
Uh, Admin Gods, I got this error message during my posting:
"An error occurred:
Rebuild failed: Renaming tempfile '/home/jpoulos/9622.net/index.xml.new' failed: Renaming '/home/jpoulos/9622.net/index.xml.new' to '/home/jpoulos/9622.net/index.xml' failed: No such file or directory"
Meep?!
*****
*slides into Fes's lap, plucks gimlet out of hand*
Fes, caro, I'm hard to get. All you have to do is ask me.
*sips gimlet, smiles, and walks to the other end of the room*
Posted by: romakimmy on May 15, 2003 12:38 PMSlow and long and hard and wet and sweet, with lots of dirty talk is also good.
Miguel, please don't forget that I'm next on your dance card - and you're next on mine!
*swipes romakimmy's fan*
**Sits alone with his pocky**
This is what I get for being your maid I suppose
**straightens seams and adjusts garters**
**remebers secret weapon**
**pours cocktail, licks eyebrows**
*sips Manhattan, swallows hard, follows kimmy to far side of room*
okay, I'm asking, I'm asking!
Posted by: Vidiot on May 15, 2003 01:05 PMI'm gonna guess that the error you got, metrocake, was because of the standard server glich couple with the fact that Fes was posting at the same instant.
Everyone: please let me know if you get that error message.
Posted by: jpoulos on May 15, 2003 01:21 PMI don't have bodily fluids, merely bodily gels. Much more convenient packaging. Less mess.
Posted by: jonmc on May 15, 2003 02:38 PMHere some ice-cubes for you all, plus they glow to see better in the sheets...{thom hands some out & sits on the remaining & goes back to lurking}
Posted by: Thomcatspike on May 15, 2003 03:21 PM
Fes, caro, I'm hard to get. All you have to do is ask me.
If you find yourself in my lap with a gimlet in your hand, meine kleine liebchen, you don't escape that easily. But maybe I whisper "pretty please?" in your perfect ear...?
Posted by: Fes on May 15, 2003 03:35 PMsmoking crapping literate monkey skateboard.
apple nipple crap
Posted by: jpoulos on May 15, 2003 03:36 PMI suppose dressing up in a zoot suit, black shirt, white tie, and entering one of those Mafia nightclubs with Kimmy on one arm and Tizzie on the other is out of the question?
Posted by: Miguel-Pushing-His-Luck on May 15, 2003 03:49 PMNot out of the question, but a little expensive.
For half the price you could have jonmc and I.
Posted by: ufez on May 15, 2003 03:51 PMYe gods, you people have been, er, active. I'm not going to walk into some Caligula revival scenario when I meet up which'yall in NY, am I?
Oh. Well. I guess I'll saddle up, then.
*flags maid and orders up a carafe of wine made by virgins and and order of fried ram testicles wrapped in linen paper*
Posted by: readymade on May 15, 2003 03:56 PMI'd say she's saucy enough! (and I mean that in a good way)
Posted by: tizzie on May 15, 2003 04:50 PMAnd speaking of saucy wenches, where's that Witchstone? Hasn't she been missing for a while now?
Posted by: tizzie on May 15, 2003 04:51 PMTo the ram: my apologies. I would have thought they put you under for that little operation.
To the maid: Sauce, yes. Delightful, as usual. Although you need to adjust your hemline upwards, dearie. The modesty will get you nowhere in this business.
To tizzie: I like my broads both saucy and uppity, so I aspire to both. So, you driving up to NY to visit? We can order around the maid!
Posted by: readymade on May 15, 2003 04:57 PM(The fabulous saucy wenchstone is in CA for a week, I think)
Posted by: readymade on
May 15, 2003 05:06 PM
You know, I don't see Kaf weighing in lately either. And he lives in California...?
Coincidence?? I think NOT!!
Posted by: Even Way Saucier! on May 15, 2003 05:31 PMwait this thread is now dressing itself; saucing the meats...
Posted by: Thomcatspike on May 15, 2003 06:07 PMAnd that is the difference between we decadent neo-Roman simians and the barbarian hordes blueward: our meats? always well sauced.
Posted by: Fes on May 15, 2003 06:09 PMahhh yes, vidiot, done to a turn...
readymade, I am tempted!
Posted by: tizzie on May 15, 2003 08:31 PMAlthough you need to adjust your hemline upwards, dearie. The modesty will get you nowhere in this business
Ach. I'm not just a piece of delectable meat. Besides, If I adjust the hemline any further upwards, I'd be able to hold the tray up with no hands.
Please forgive any typos as I had-alonmg with a couple pints at my usual watering hole and my 16oz beer for the train-the "tijuana special" (a double shot of tequila and a can of Tecate at this joint. I love New york.
Posted by: jonmc on May 15, 2003 10:09 PMThread is dying (shame), but in response to romakimmy La Belucci? even BETTER La Bellucci, courtesy of Fark. Of course, NSFW.
Reminds me of growing up in an Italian neighborhood in Chicago, ca. 1982 (age 14 - do your own biological math). Ugga-wugga.
Posted by: Fes on May 16, 2003 02:53 PMTrivia Fact:
The photographer of La Bellucci covered in honey and Belgua caviar is Fabrizio Ferri, the husband of prima ballerina Alessandra Ferri
Posted by: romakimmy on May 16, 2003 05:38 PM
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