I am going to be having such a good time while you all are out traipsing around some big, wild city! I'm not the least bit jealous! None of us are, right, fellow flyover/leftover/way over there monkeys?
Posted by tizzie at May 22, 2003 04:18 PMI'm going to try all those cocktail recipes that Miguel posted over on the 'filter, and then I'm going to call jpoulos and have aural sex, she said, wishfully.
Posted by: tizzie on May 22, 2003 04:22 PMI love it when you all talk dirty.
Not that I've heard much clean talk here, so maybe it's a love-it-all-the-time thing. Still.
Posted by: Chico on May 22, 2003 04:39 PMI don't have a phone Tiz, but give me a time, and I'll share some spirit in my Jacuzzi(w/o the sex if you don’t mind).
Pick a star, moon or planet and I’ll host a toast at that time, and scream it really loud too. You can do that in Texas, a country-style-state, they'll just think it’s par for the coarse being a red-nakkid person in Jacuzzi.
Look at the woman at the top of this thread! Can't get much cleaner than that!
Let's reflect on a Witchstone episode today:
********
Conversation in staff kitchen:
Coworker (while rummaging around in fridge): Damn, I saved a cookie in here from yesterday [we had a catered lunch] and some asshole stole it!
Me: Oh.
*********
Damn, that cookie was good.
Posted by: witchstone on May 22, 2003 04:52 PMLook at the woman at the top of this thread! Can't get much cleaner than that!
Let's reflect on a Witchstone episode today:
********
Conversation in staff kitchen:
Coworker (while rummaging around in fridge): Damn, I saved a cookie in here from yesterday [we had a catered lunch] and some asshole stole it!
Me: Oh.
*********
Damn, that cookie was good.
Posted by: witchstone on May 22, 2003 04:52 PMWait, how did that happen? I only hit post once, and I didn't get an error message or anything.
Posted by: witchstone on May 22, 2003 04:54 PMTypical last-cookie-eater-Manhattan-catered-lunch-style-partygirl-making-fun-of-the-hicks-excuse.
Posted by: Miguel on May 22, 2003 09:21 PMI enjoy putting food in the corporate fridge that no one else would dare taste, like leftover pate or kim chee, and then watching the horror on their faces when I offer them a bite.
"I'll stick with my Slim-Fast bar!"
Dear god, I'd rather have my tongue cut out with a rusty scissors than eat a slim-fast bar.
Posted by: tizzie on May 22, 2003 09:38 PMIn honour of all those left out of the party, I will now divulge the traditional Portuguese unlonely masturbation technique. What you do is sit on your hand for 15 minutes until it's well and truly asleep. When there's no feeling in it whatsoever, close your eyes and start wanking. Your hand will feel foreign, romantic. It'll feel as if someone else is doing it for you.
Sad, innit?
You have to be quick though
Posted by: Miguel on May 22, 2003 09:40 PM
Hey! Who wants to have an online cocktail festival while the New York-bound monkeys are risking their lives with insane cabbies? Can I get a hootie-hoo?
Posted by: Mars Crash on May 23, 2003 12:32 AMBack when I was a dominatrix, I'd sit on a client's hand until it was asleep and then make him spank himself with it.
Ah, the days of wine and roses.
Posted by: witchstone on May 23, 2003 09:01 AM*steps gingerly into the bath with tizzie, eyes shining from her all-aglowness. inefectually trying to hide the ear-to-ear smirk, for once more the old sit-on-the-hand sob story hath worked its magic* :)
Posted by: Miguel on May 23, 2003 09:36 AMWitchstone, we'll have to compare techniques this evening.
Posted by: cowboy_sally on May 23, 2003 09:42 AMWashing Your Woolens In A Bubble Bath When Tizzie Doesn't Drag You Fully Clothed Into Hers, Part 1:
Honeymoon with the love ewe. (possibly nsfw, county web thingy blocked it).
Posted by: ufez on May 23, 2003 10:53 AMYou know, as much as I hate self indulgent & pornographic filmmaking disguised as art, I feel a bit bad for ole Vincent.
Posted by: witchstone on May 23, 2003 12:18 PMFrom Gawker:
Vincent Gallo's message board
People impersonating actor Vincent Gallo have been leaving messages on his website's message board. (Shock! Horror!) He's not too happy about it: "if I notice any polluted messages, which usually come from bitter, jealous, ugly, poorly-hung men, who are unhappy at work and wished their whole life to be like me, I will remove these unproductive nasty little posts and I would like to say to these twisted queers and half-men, I feel sorry for you. All I ever wanted to do was be me. I hope one day you feel the same about yourself and release yourself from the petty, small-minded urges of polluting this message board and distracting its wonderful members. So go ahead and say whatever you want nasty about me, but know that we will all know by your insults just how small your pecker really is and how miserable your life has always been and how long it's been since any girl under 500 pounds responded to your cheap lines at the local pub. As for girls who badmouth me, I don't know what I did to offend you, but I'm sorry. Please forgive me and be nice. My mom was mean. She never liked me. So have a heart."
The above...uh thought you could never ruin a Friday....would you like a knife with those feelings. Was at a Cure concert some guy stabbed himself 5times.
[Thom leaves computer stares at Sun for a few seconds goes back to the computer & only sees blind spots]
Hootie Hoo!!
What's our first drink an Old Fashion buying the ingredients on the way home, w00t w00t.
I just passed a guy rolling down the 7th Avenue sidewalk on his Segway, sporting one of those german army helmets popular with some of the gnarlier Harley riders. He looked like one bad motherfucker on his mighty metal steed. Be prepared for Segway gangs to terrorize small towns and take over the East Coast crystal meth trade.
Posted by: liam on May 23, 2003 02:27 PMliam, that's odd, since I was just remembering about 2 years ago when I saw a pack of kids (about 10) on those Spree scooters and I thought :"That has got to be the wimpiest biker gang ever"
Posted by: tj on May 23, 2003 02:37 PMLiam, you have just put The Fear Of God into me. I bet too, like Hitler, he was a vegetarian, non-smoking teetotaller.
The Hell's Angels of this century will be politically correct, Segway-driving higieno-fascists hunting down the prawn-nibbler and the snack-enthusiast. Their main cause will be websites like this one about nothing in particular.
Wasting energy will be the baby seals of the Noughties.
*shiver*
Posted by: Miguel on May 23, 2003 02:44 PMIsn't it "hoody hoo"?
Let the hills people decide...any hills people who can hallow-err, with a sexual connotations?
a pack of kids (about 10) on those Spree scooters and I thought :"That has got to be the wimpiest biker gang ever"
He hee he, my last image of south beach besides the great breaststesses, love it when a woman smiles at you then takes her top off looking at you but sits with her boytoy, not really but you can't be fingered as a pervert.
but you can't be fingered as a pervert
So untrue. Just the other day I was fingered by-
::rereads post again::
-nevermind.
9622: Would you like a knife with those feelings?
Thomcatspikese at its very best.
Posted by: Miguel on May 23, 2003 03:02 PMA note about posting images:
We encourage users to post images, especially those hilarous pics of monkeys
wearing dresses or programming for Linux. But posting images that reside on someone
else's server is considered by many to be bandwidth theft. Our thoughts
on the matter, along with some solutions to the problem, can be found
here. Thanks.
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