Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the master melody-maker, and surely one of the finest beings on this or any other oxygen-atmosphere planet:
Joe Jackson!
It is time someone recognized the magical confluence of every single event prior to Joe Jackson's conception that came together in one perfect moment to allow the creation of this man, this God, this Joe Jackson.
Please celebrate Joe Jackson Day responsibly.
Posted by kafkaesque at July 14, 2003 02:21 PMjeebus, kaf, did you do a Google image search for "mincing pedophile" to get that pic?
Posted by: Cyrano on July 14, 2003 02:23 PMMy Google image search for "mincing pedophile" was, I assure you, totally unrelated to that picture of Joe Jackson.
Posted by: kaf on July 14, 2003 02:25 PMWow. We have now ensured that anyone googling "mincing pedophile" will be directed to this site. Good work, lads!
Posted by: witchstone on July 14, 2003 02:32 PMKept having brain farts with this guy. When he was first being play hated on, Teh Eagles were mentioned too. Kept reading thinking Joe Jackson Jackson Brown. Sorry, can’t say I’ve heard JJ’s music.
Posted by: Thomcatspike on July 14, 2003 02:36 PMMr. Catspike, I can't believe you haven't heard "Is She Really Going Out With Him?"...a staple at every bar pretty much everywhere.
Or "Stepping Out", a big 80s hit.
Posted by: kaf on July 14, 2003 02:37 PMRight now, in Puerto Rico, the youngsters are celebrating Joe Jackson Day in the traditional way: they gather in the town square and, as one, sing a heart-breaking version of "I'm a Man". Some of them will make that passage to manhood this Joe Jackson Day. Not all are so lucky, and are overcome by the flurry of spears.
Posted by: kaf on July 14, 2003 02:39 PMI find that "Is She Really Going Out With Him" and "Jesse's Girl" make good companion pieces. You can arrange the mood depending on which one is first.
Posted by: witchstone on July 14, 2003 02:43 PM*imagines a "heart-breaking" version of "I'm The Man" sung in the third person as to directly reference the author*
"He's the man who gave you the yo-yo."
Thank you for not pointing out my crass, crass error in calling "I'm the Man" the obviously worng "I'm a Man", Eyeball. And on Joe Jackson Day of all days!
Posted by: kaf on July 14, 2003 02:51 PM"Stepping Out" is one of those catchy sing-along tunes with indecipherable lyrics, so you end up singing odd bits like "Blah blah, stepping oooouuut, into the something, into the something!"
Real geek cred, there.
Posted by: tizzie on July 14, 2003 02:53 PMI would like to break into the Joe Jackson day thread with some earth shattering music news.
Please commence with the festivities.
Posted by: eyeballkid on July 14, 2003 02:57 PMWow! That's great news for people like me who didn't get to see them first time round.
I wonder if Joe Jackson will sit in on a few numbers?
Posted by: kaf on July 14, 2003 02:59 PMDay-um! Best news I've had all day, ebk.
(errr, except for that spam from "Julio Joly" offering me "hot granny action sjxkxlkjbv"...but I won't go there.)
Posted by: Vidiot on July 14, 2003 03:02 PMjeebus, kaf, did you do a Google image search for "mincing pedophile" to get that pic?
I get the impression that in 15 years, that phrase will be applied to Michael Stipe.
And ebk, when I read that this morning, I thought first of where they would play in Dallas and how much it would cost, and then second if you'd seen that yet.
Posted by: ufez on July 14, 2003 03:04 PMSorry can’t say I’ve heard JJ’s music, over & over... as Kaf alluded, a song that will spoil a fun bar scene when played.
I'm here in Dallas and rarely hear him now, he is a tad better than country, just a tad, no twang.
Ha ha, "Is She Really Going Out With Him", thought it was a Squeeze song all this time, whom did "Black Coffee in Bed". Those two songs sound like they were cut off the same album is why I grouped 'em, ya'll.
Posted by: Thomcatspike on July 14, 2003 03:05 PMPop Up Video is rad.
I have a 2 disc live Joe Jackson cd. I'm not sure why, but there is three, no kidding, versions of "Is She Really Going Out With Him?" on it. (regular, acapella and acoustic) I'm going to send a copy to Miguel, along with this gem I found yesterday (which is mostly hit and miss, and the album that migs sent out is far better).
Posted by: eyeballkid on July 14, 2003 03:16 PMSweet! It's Joe Jackson day in the Men's room at the office too! I just heard a musak version of "It's Different for Girls" while standing up, facing a tile wall.
Posted by: eyeballkid on July 14, 2003 03:29 PMLet's see...Possible Pixies reunion, Rob Halford rejoining Judas Priest, Duran Duran is back together, and Topps is going to start issuing new Garbage Pail Kids.
Apparently we've fallen through a wormhole into 1986.
Posted by: Crash on July 14, 2003 04:02 PMOh great. That means I won't be getting laid for three years.
Stupid wormhole.
Posted by: jonmc on July 14, 2003 04:07 PMI have that album too, Eyeball. I'm convinced it's the only necessary Joe Jackson item.
Posted by: kaf on July 14, 2003 04:09 PMWhich is not say, of course, that even the lowliest Joe Jackson effort is not preferable to any other human's paltry output.
Posted by: kaf on July 14, 2003 04:12 PM"Is She Really Going Out With Him" and "Jesse's Girl" make good companion pieces.
Jessie's Girl heard twice now since reading this, at least it was not the other tune twice is all I'm saying.
Thomcat, you're not getting in the spirit of Joe Jackson day
Posted by: tj on July 14, 2003 04:37 PMLet's get security in here.
Strap that rat-cage to his face!
You love Joe Jackson don't you, Mr. Catspike?
Posted by: kaf on July 14, 2003 04:43 PMJJ site, first line:"I think that even the most rootless traveler sometimes has to put his foot down somewhere familiar," says Joe Jackson. "You can't only go forward. Sometimes it's healthy to look back."
Quite a statement for an artist who's not known for repeating himself.
To deep for me, unless you think, dope! ever leave your wallet behind while vactioning.
Posted by: Thomcatspike on July 14, 2003 04:47 PMLupo, once Eyeball gets a VW, we will complete the trinity of darkness!
Posted by: kaf on July 14, 2003 05:03 PMa VW may not be in my near future. i have just paid off my little piece o' crap and don't want another car payment for a while. but when i do buy one, can we design leather jackets and be in a VW club?
Posted by: eyeballkid on July 14, 2003 05:08 PMI've listened to him a lot over the years, though sometimes I listen to him and think, Joe Jackson : Elvis Costello :: Billy Joel : Bruce Springsteen.
Like, he's alright, but he's a pale imitation of something else that's way better.
I am, of course, one to talk.
Posted by: Gorillas On My Street on July 14, 2003 05:08 PMWell, what are you [and not, say, Joe Jackson] a pale imitation of?
Posted by: kaf on July 14, 2003 05:16 PMIs this the first annual JJ day? Or have I been missing out all these years?
All I remember about JJ is sitting in a room full of very angsty gay boys who loooooooved some or another album. I just drank beer and wondered why I never had a boyfriend.
Posted by: readymade on July 14, 2003 05:22 PMWaitacottonpickinminute! It's not really Joe Jackson day. It's Bastille Day masquerading as Joe Jackson day. Those crafty French, trying to get me to eat their French bread and make with the French kisses...and now this!
Tryin' to pull a fast one on me, eh?
Posted by: readymade on July 14, 2003 05:25 PMMais non! Nous ne sommes pas Fran --
-- I mean No! We're not French!
Posted by: kaf on July 14, 2003 05:28 PMOh, that's how you spell it.
All this time, I was wondering why we would celebrate Bad Steel Day.
(Still, any excuse to watch my "train derailment bloopers" video and listen to a little Einsturzende Neubauten. (Which, it seems, is Nouveaux Bâtiments en Chute in Googlefrench. You're welcome.))
Posted by: Chico on July 14, 2003 06:18 PMDid you know that most of Einstuerzende Neubauten's catalog is actually written by none other than Joe Jackson? It's true!
He dashed off Haus Der Luge one night after a particularly enthusiastic live version of "Jumpin' Jive".
Posted by: kaf on July 14, 2003 07:54 PMCole Porter recorded the song "Night and Day," but Joe Jackson recorder the album.
So, like, who's better?? Obviously, JJ.
Posted by: tizzie on July 14, 2003 08:03 PMIt's a little known fact that JJ was, in fact, a precursor to John the Baptist. The original lyrics to "On Your Radio" heralded the coming of Jesus Christ. Unfortunately, at the time, there was an utter lack of radios and the song never caught on.
Posted by: eyeballkid on July 14, 2003 08:27 PMAfter seeing the Joe-as-Nosferatu picture (and reading the thread), I have changed my mind viz my swap CD.
No Joe for you!
Posted by: yhbc on July 14, 2003 08:57 PMOf course, it's different for girls. Maybe tizzie will get some Joe.
Posted by: yhbc on July 14, 2003 08:57 PMDid I ever tell you the story of how I met JJ as part of my job?
When I first moved to New York, I got a job working as the personal assistant to a Very Famous Person's business manager. (More famous than JJ? Pas possible!) I got the job by acing the interview, during which the VFP walked into the room and I didn't even flinch. (I looked up at him, went, oh, so it's you, then, okay, and finished whatever it was I was going to say. Far as I care, he peaked 30 years ago.) Anyway, for the first and last time in my life, I was cool when it counted.
Cut to about a week later. I'm still getting acclimated, learning the ins & outs of the job, and I turn a corner and there's JJ staring at me. I lose it a bit -- You're -- you're -- Joe Jackson? and of course he's there on business, and he's all, Yeah, that's me, now could you get me a cup of coffee or something?
I got laughed at in that office for weeks afterward about it.
(He's not the biggest guy in the world, and he has all the twerp-with-a-chip-on-his-shoulderness in real life that you'd get from his music.)
Posted by: Chico on July 14, 2003 09:22 PMall this linking will drive miguel mad. beat crazy, in fact.
Posted by: whatnot on July 14, 2003 11:24 PMChico, are we supposed to feel envious that you were Gregg Allman's manager's personal assistant?
Posted by: witchstone on July 15, 2003 10:13 AMGregg Allman, he's ... so ... ummmm ... well ...
Hey, I'd be impressed by Jim Varney.
Posted by: tizzie on July 15, 2003 10:23 AMI would be too, what with that rising from the dead and all.
[insert "Earnest Goes To" joke here]
Posted by: Cyrano on July 15, 2003 10:39 AMHey, there's no shame in assisting the dead. they need all the help they can get, I imagine.
Posted by: jonmc on July 15, 2003 10:55 AMI think that, now that Joe Jackson Day has mercifully passed, we should declare today to either be Jim Varney Day or Gregg Allman Day.
KnowwhutImean, Vern?
Posted by: Vidiot on July 15, 2003 11:04 AMPlease. Please stop. I'm having flashbacks to 6th grade when we named our class "Ernestville" and Jim Varney came to visit us and we all wore "KnowhutImean" shirts and we got on TV.
*shudders*
Posted by: witchstone on July 15, 2003 11:08 AMwirchstone, you poor, poor girl. No child should have to ever come face to face with Jim Varney.
I can only imagine what the therapy bills must be like.
Posted by: tj on July 15, 2003 11:17 AMSomeday, when I'm very drunk or have Alzheimer's, I'll sing the Ernestville song for you.
Posted by: witchstone on July 15, 2003 11:21 AMI...I can't believe Joe Jackson Day is over.
*stares balefully at the new day, now rendered empty and meaningless*
*hears the sound of tinkling piano keys and tapping toes from far, far off*
Joe Jackson Day is never really over. Not in our hearts!
*shaves fake receding hairline into own scalp, blinking through the tears*
Posted by: kaf on July 15, 2003 11:28 AM**Ponders defending Gregg Allman, realizes he's already dug himself awful deep into a big hole on that score and realizes that Duane was the keeper Allman**
Posted by: jonmc on July 15, 2003 11:33 AMOnly 364 more days until next Joe Jackson Day!
...
We could celebrate Shoeless Joe Jackson day today, if that'd help, kaf.
Actually, as long as we're talkin' music...this record is beyond cool. I'm diggin' this whole junkshop compilation trend lately.
Posted by: jonmc on July 15, 2003 11:36 AM*calls Ray Liotta*
Ray's down with Shoeless Joe Jackson Day.
Posted by: kaf on July 15, 2003 11:43 AM*calls Ray Liotta*
Ray is emphatically not down with Carrot Top Day.
Posted by: kaf on July 15, 2003 11:54 AMoooh, to have Ray Liotta's digits:
"Loved you in Operation Dumbo Drop!"
*click*
Posted by: Vidiot on July 15, 2003 12:18 PMWhen are we not talking about music, jon?
(And witchy: Gregg Allman? I wish.)
Posted by: Chico on July 15, 2003 12:30 PM
Well, tomorrow guess [I] know will what be day!
Day Spike of Cat Thom!
Posted by: kafker on July 16, 2003 12:11 AMTell Liotta that he would have never made it out of the Ozarks alive if he hadn't lied about shagging my girlfriend.
Pockmarked Bronx bastid.
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