Many things in this world get better with age. Cheese, for one. And wine. Fucking C-Span.
But none so much as dong resin.
In which case, hooray for 30 years old today!
Happy day to you, dong.
Since you make most of mine not suck so damn much.
Posted by: brittney on July 18, 2003 08:38 AMI'd been waiting for another birthday. It's been so long.
Happy Days and Nights of Dong Resin!
Posted by: witchstone on July 18, 2003 09:00 AMOh gawd, this calls for something special.
Lemme go see if I can scan my butt on the color copier.
That is *so* not dong. Where's his vestigial tail, hmmm?
Happy birthday, sweet cheeks.
Posted by: cowboy_sally on July 18, 2003 09:31 AMSenor Resin, my brother by another mother, happy b-day paisano. In your honor I will attempt to dunk everything I eat today into hi-test coffee.
Also, send me an e-mail, I have a project you'd be perfect for.
Also there's a "fucking C-Span" now? I so have to get better cable...
Posted by: jonmc on July 18, 2003 09:38 AMFucking C-SPAN stars Bob Packwood, I think.
Happy birthday, Dong, even though you're too busy looking at French guys in leotards to appreciate it (err, the birthday, I mean.)
Posted by: Vidiot on July 18, 2003 09:59 AMMy mother groaned, my father wept,
into the dangerous world I leapt;
helpless, naked, piping loud,
like a fiend hid in a cloud.
~William Blake
Happy Birthday to you, Dong - a true fiend hid in a cloud!
Posted by: Fes on July 18, 2003 09:59 AMMan, our parents sure did do lots of the sexing up in Septembers and Octobers of yore. Oh and dong, when you read this, I found that other Showcase Showdown CD (in Tulsa. Left it there to, dammit, but at least I know where it is). When I re-claim it, I'll burn you a copy.
Happy b-day, man.
Posted by: ufez on July 18, 2003 10:21 AMOctober is the historically traditional sexing-up month. The harvest is in, the grapes pressed, the wood cut, the weather turning chill. October brings on the first real intimations of the autumn, and subsequently of mortality.
And NOTHING makes people hornier than impending, inescapable doom. It's a scientific fact!
Posted by: Fes on July 18, 2003 10:28 AMI found that other Showcase Showdown CD
Dude, I thought you were talking about "The Price is Right."
Posted by: tizzie on July 18, 2003 10:33 AM"The Price is Right" makes me hornier than inescapable doom. Well, actually, they are a lot alike.
Posted by: tizzie on July 18, 2003 10:34 AMI think this is probably a little more accurate:
Happy Birthday, donger.
Posted by: jpoulos on July 18, 2003 10:37 AMMy parents must have been May/June folk. We have 4 out of 6 kids born between February 16 and March 16.
Posted by: witchstone on July 18, 2003 11:00 AMWe have 2 December babies (out of 3 total) in my house, so my parents must have had their annual coupling in March in those days. Maybe St Paddy's day got Dad feeling sentimental.
Posted by: jonmc on July 18, 2003 11:04 AMHappy birthday you fine hunk of man, you.
See the cashier for your complimentary round of golf and half price personal pizza.
Posted by: kaf on July 18, 2003 11:25 AMLupo, that is brilliant. My boss's baby shower is at lunch today - mind if I copy it for her card??
Posted by: tizzie w/ an attitude on July 18, 2003 11:27 AMha! please do. Hallmark is sorely lacking in Evil Baby greeting cards.
Posted by: jpoulos on July 18, 2003 12:02 PMObviously you are not familiar with Hallmark's Basket Case/It's Alive series.
When something feels so right
It's as perfect as a sunset
Or a vengeful, deformed infant
Taking out the bloodlust
Of its painful existence
On the tender flesh of the innocent.
Happy Anniversary, sweetheart.
Dong! As a special birthday gift, I'm going to go fling poo (not the nice kind) at John Ashcroft today, who happens to be darkening Portland's door this afternoon.
Happy birthday!
Posted by: readymade on July 18, 2003 12:20 PMHappy Birthday Dong Resin, the Big 30 for you?
They did tell you about being 30: you do everything thrice or none at all, either way make sure you have fun.
Dong, for your birthday, I recommend you see Spellbound. Then perhaps your atrocious spelling will improve.*
*Obviously, there is nothing wrong with your spelling and I was just looking for an excuse to tell people to see this movie.
Posted by: witchstone on July 18, 2003 02:29 PMHappy dong day! Lots of July kids 'round these parts. Freakin' Cancers.
Posted by: adampsyche on July 18, 2003 02:36 PMA MAGNIFICENT, LUXURIOUS, BAWDY BIRTHDAY, BROTHER DONG!
Full of laughter and love and intrigue!
Thanks for being such a mensch!
Posted by: Miguel on July 18, 2003 02:51 PMMiguel, my friend! Do you have a suggested cocktail for toasting this auspicious day?
Posted by: tizzie on July 18, 2003 03:06 PMFor dong, Tizzie, nothing less than a very dry Martini or two or three. It goes with his spare, pure aesthetics - espresso, dry martinis, clear prose - and gets you very, very drunk.
I am now having one, listening to his CD - in fact acting a bit lovesick.
*slaps himself*
Posted by: Miguel on July 18, 2003 03:25 PM
Geez, you July babies. Dong, I am fresh out of birthday poo. But I do have a bit of Christmas poo left and a smidgen of anniversary poo, so...
*flings*
Posted by: Cyrano on July 18, 2003 04:00 PMYay! Another July baby. Happy b-day, Dong.
Since my b-day cruelly falls on a Tuesday this year, I'll be spending this weekend celebrating it. Looks like I've got a lot of b-day toasts to be raising at the pub tonight.
Sure hope the other customers don't mind all the poo flinging.
Posted by: aine42 on July 18, 2003 04:44 PMI think Link Digger over at Weird Links said it best when he said: "On this day [thirty] years ago, I stuck my head out of a vagina and cried."
You can't beat that sentiment.
Posted by: Crash on July 18, 2003 06:08 PMIn honor of "The Dong's" birthday, I give you:
Silence of the Lambs: The Musical!
Featuring the showstopping "If I Could Smell her Cunt."
Posted by: ColdChef on July 18, 2003 08:05 PM
Really? It's my professed lord and savior's birthday?
*puts up tree, waits for drunken dong_resin to squeeze down the chimney and piss on the presents*
Posted by: eyeballkid on July 19, 2003 12:22 AMWhat a fantasticly amusing thread this is.
Why aren't they all about me? See how well that works out?
Thanks for the wishes you fine people.
Monkey love is the best love of all... second only to tube sock full of warm Crisco with Gape-Nuts mixed in for bite.
Miguel... try to say something nice, will you? Jesus. Grump.
Monkey love is the best love of all... second only to tube sock full of warm Crisco with Gape-Nuts mixed in for bite.
Dammit, she's been cheating on me again.
Posted by: Vidiot on July 19, 2003 05:23 PMHappy belated birthday, Dr. D.
But stay away from the toads anyway.
The birfday wishes are not too late, but the advice, well, you know...
Posted by: dong_resin on July 26, 2003 05:58 PMA note about posting images:
We encourage users to post images, especially those hilarous pics of monkeys
wearing dresses or programming for Linux. But posting images that reside on someone
else's server is considered by many to be bandwidth theft. Our thoughts
on the matter, along with some solutions to the problem, can be found
here. Thanks.
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