Satisfaction Guaranteed or Your Monkey Back. (Ad spotted at LGA.)
Posted by Vidiot at August 28, 2003 09:39 AMLGA... Little Green A**holes? Lawyers, Guns, and Alcohol? Leftist Guerilla Anarchists?
I want my monkey back.
Posted by: tizzie on August 28, 2003 10:13 AMAlso note that last year - we were Number Seven. This year, we're Number One (and most of the top ten too!)
Posted by: tizzie on August 28, 2003 10:19 AM#1. Hurray...but is that by "date", the post is dated 01/01/03.
Posted by: Thomcatspike on August 28, 2003 10:53 AMThat's kind of bothersome, actually. Does that make us the drubkest people anywhere (well, anywhere on the web, but still)? Or just the ones who talk the most about it when we do?
Either way. This does not reflect well on the rest of the world.
(Oh, and LGA=Laguardia, although I'm so going to call it Lawyers Guns & Assholes airport from now on.)
Posted by: Chico on August 28, 2003 11:12 AM[Arnold Horshack happy voice]
Ooooh! Ooooh!
[/ Arnold Horshack voice]
Mention, my LIL Brother in Iraq is on his way to Kuwait then a few weeks later, home. His returning home will end my thomcatspike-ish blog, which just had it's one year anniversary Aug 24th. I'm also accomplished my main goal: more than 1000 visits in a year. Which was all due to my LIL Brother.
Back to the scheduled program, other word(s)to make #1?
Monkey? trying to think some obscure cool wicked word.
The Canuckleheads that I hung out with in Victoria, BC used the phrase "wicked-cool" more than any mere mortal should. And this was in 2001.
I vote for "flaming elmo shittenpants" as our next #1 phrase.
Posted by: ufez on August 28, 2003 11:22 AMCool deal, TCS! My brother might actually be rotating to Iraq at the end of the year, which could entail my moving to Fayetteville to housesit while he's gone.
Posted by: Cyrano on August 28, 2003 11:35 AMYay, TCS, I'm glad he's coming back soon!
(that's funny, ufez, up in New England, "wicked cool" is a de rigeur part of speech.)
Posted by: cowboy_sally on August 28, 2003 11:38 AMNot south of New Haven it isn't. But then again that area's not really considered New England, but suburban New York.
Posted by: jonmc on August 28, 2003 11:47 AM[Arnold Horshack happy voice]
Ooooh! Ooooh!
[/ Arnold Horshack voice]
I don't know why, but this just made my head explode. I will now imagine that all of TCS's entries are voiced like this. (Congrats, Thom)
Posted by: romakimmy on August 28, 2003 11:48 AMNever let it be said that the Italian beurocrasy system is without a rather black sense of humour.
Posted by: romakimmy on August 28, 2003 12:03 PMfrom the Framley Examiner (via Big Blue):
Bernadette Hazzard was strapped to the back of a bear and ridden round the town by monkeys dressed as little pirates for no real reason after yet another misguidedly heavy drinking session at Sockford Civil Court.
I thought it appropriate for around here.
Posted by: notsnot on August 28, 2003 01:51 PM"My speed-of-light egg timer has only one grain of sand in it, which is more than enough."
Turn that baby over when someone starts to get on my nerves.
Posted by: tizzie on August 28, 2003 02:11 PMSend Lawyers, Guns and Assholes
The shit has hit the fan....
He was drinking a pina colada at Trader Vic's
And his ass was perfect
His comrades fought beside him - Van Owen and the rest
But of all the Thompson gunners Roland was the best
So the CIA decided they wanted Roland's brass
That son-of-a-bitch Van Owen blew off Roland's ass
Roland the assless Thompson gunner (Time, time, time
For another peaceful war
Norway's bravest son But time stands still for Roland
'Til he evens up the score)
They can still see his assless body stalking through the night
In the muzzle flash of Roland's Thompson gun
Cool deal, TCS! My brother might actually be rotating to Iraq at the end of the year,
Wish it was cooler for all there though, still troops there or going. Plese do keep us informed Cyrano.
[/clearing throat of Arnold Horshack's voice]
Wicked cool thanks All.
PATTY HEARST
HEART THE WORST
OF ROLAND'S ASSLESS CHAPS AND BOUGHT THEM
In Ireland, in Lebanon, in Palestine, in Berkeley...
I [heart] the worst of Roland's assless chaps. (Because assless chaps need love too.)
Posted by: Chico on August 28, 2003 07:30 PMWe've seen Chico express that love, too, and suffice to say it ain't pretty.
Posted by: Vidiot on August 28, 2003 07:49 PMY'know, I'm only working for half a day today, so I decided against shaving. Also with the move and all we haven't done laundry for about a month, plus there's an unexplained stain of my sneaker. I probably could've forgone bathing as well.
Hygeine is overrated.
Posted by: jonmc on August 29, 2003 10:01 AMEveryone is working a half-day today but me! What are we, Europeans?? No wonder the economy's still in the shitter.
If anyone needs me, I'll be in my office! *glares*
Posted by: Fes on August 29, 2003 10:25 AMIf anyone needs me, I'll be in my office! *glares*
...playing minigolf.
*glares back*
Posted by: cowboy_sally on August 29, 2003 10:37 AM**stands in front of fan and wafts BO at everyone**
**cackles manaically**
Posted by: jonmc on August 29, 2003 10:57 AMSussed! dammit. My machinations are like unto a fly on a sunlit window, easily espied and even easier to swat.
Jon! Jesus, man. Two words: "Byyyy Men-nen."
Posted by: Fes on August 29, 2003 11:04 AMJust a reminder to all New York-area monkeys planning on attending my cookout tomorrow:
BO-wafting is discouraged. Bathing is not.
(signed)
The Management
Posted by: Vidiot on August 29, 2003 11:06 AMHa-Ha!
It is the new revolution, capitalist pig-dog!! Radical Slovenliness. Neat people, your days are numbered.
**spits out tooth, picks nose, wipes on pants**
Posted by: jonmc on August 29, 2003 11:07 AMDon't ever accuse me of being a neat person. (You've seen my apartment, bucko, and it's more slovenly than yours.)
But my apartment is also a small one, and I have neighbors on three sides of my backyard, and hygiene is good for maintaining proper relationships with them.
It's not like I have doilies around the place, fer Chrissake.
Posted by: Vidiot on August 29, 2003 11:14 AMOkay, I'll have myself scraped and deloused. Only for you, man.
Posted by: jonmc on August 29, 2003 11:21 AMEveryone is working a half-day today but me!
And me! I am not working a half-day! I am taking the whole day off!
*opens beer*
*laughs*
*runs around the room naked*
*flushes the economy down the shitter*
/me ordinarily has Fridays off.
/me was asked by his boss to work four hours OT today, for no apparent reason. (usually we hire freelancers for extra staffing needs.)
/me is incapable of saying "no", and like an idjit, agreed.
Grrrr...
It's not like I have doilies around the place, fer Chrissake.
*starts crochet-ing madly*
/me ordinarily has Fridays off.
Don't cry for me, Argentina.
And me! I am not working a half-day! I am taking the whole day off!
Lucky ducks...me, whole day at the office, yet it's slow so hardly working :)
Posted by: Thomcatspike on August 29, 2003 01:35 PMA note about posting images:
We encourage users to post images, especially those hilarous pics of monkeys
wearing dresses or programming for Linux. But posting images that reside on someone
else's server is considered by many to be bandwidth theft. Our thoughts
on the matter, along with some solutions to the problem, can be found
here. Thanks.
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