Well, the big day isn't until Saturday, but traffic is way down on weekends 'round these parts, and Cowboy_Sally deserves lotsa hits for her very own birthday thread. Best wishes!
Posted by Vidiot at September 05, 2003 02:29 AMAnd wow...Jo Ann Worley? Swoosie Kurtz? Buddy Bolden? Michael Winslow? Roger Waters? Sergio Aragones? "Slapsie Maxie" Rosenbloom? Pretty august company sharing your birthdate there, kid.
Posted by: Vidiot on September 5, 2003 02:29 AMIf I had me a digital camera, I'd be drubk and posting images of incomparable lewdness and indestructable silliness.
As it is I'm stuck with text. So thank you, cowboy_s, for making some rather depressing times in the life of el pollo magnifico recently much less so with your funky shout-out stylings, and a very very happy birthday to you indeed!
Yu0 r0x0r.
Posted by: stavrosthewonderchicken on September 5, 2003 06:03 AMShe popped my blogging cherry,
And she can pee standing up.
Her shout-outs are extraordinary,
Let me raise my cup -
To Cowboy Sally! Happy birthday, sweetie pie!
"incomparable lewdness and indestructable silliness" is our newest tagline.
Smurfy Smurfday, Cowboy Sally Smurf! Welcome to age 28!
Posted by: notsnot on September 5, 2003 09:11 AMHappy Birthday, kid. May your day be filled by watching The Cremaster Cycle with Skeeter Davis Greatest hits playing in the background. We male monkeys would show our stuff for shoutouts, but they don't make napkins that big. hehehe.
Posted by: jonmc on September 5, 2003 09:11 AM
May the most hilarious, charming, adorable, potty-mouthed monkey in the house have the most amazing birthday ever.
Tonight I'll have a stiff one in your honor. You make the interweb a better place.
Posted by: brittney on September 5, 2003 09:22 AMApropos of nothing: I'm going to see The Monkey King tonight. Full report to come.
Posted by: Vidiot on September 5, 2003 10:43 AM
So anyways I says ta Sally
what-cher doin, Sally-gal?
I got my shiny dancin’ shoes
ta twirl ya fast and so I shall.
We’ll hit da juke joints on da row
and when we gets ta movin good
I’ll get a cab (I’s rollin dough)
and take us down ta “Knock on Wood”.
Da band takes stage at nine o’clock
wit golden horns and flat-wound strings
ta play da bebop and da rock
fer dancin’ cats and chicks dat swing.
She laughs an gives her hair a swirl.
Ya gotta love dat Sally-girl.
--B.B. King
Happy Birthday, cowboy_sally!
Posted by: Fes on September 5, 2003 11:01 AMaww, thanks guys. you made this monkeygirl well up.
Cowboy_Sally deserves lotsa hits
vidiot, you're not still on about this spanking thing, are you? I suppose I should be girding myself for the inevitable birthday ass-assailment.
But seriously, thanks. This has cheered me considerably. For whatever reason, I am being punished by the gods today. I guess all that hubris has finally caught up with me!
~wink~
Posted by: cowboy_sally on September 5, 2003 11:36 AMStrange convergence or just coincidence, I can't say, but as I stumbled on this thread, I was listening to "Fuck and Run".
Hope you have a great one, sally, and as always, we want pics!
Posted by: ufez on September 5, 2003 11:38 AMCowboy Sally is the kindest, warmest, bravest, most wonderful human being I've ever known in my life, and even now I feel that way - this minute.
Happy Birthday, Sally!
Posted by: ana on September 5, 2003 12:52 PM~wink~
*vaguely disquieted by the unnerving suspicion that today's cowboy_sally birthday revelation is that she's actually fold_and_mutilate*
*eyetwitch*
Posted by: Fes on September 5, 2003 12:53 PMCouldn't be, fes. c_s has seen me eat meat and didn't even flinch. Plus the idea would be way too scarring to my psyche to contemplate.
Posted by: jonmc on September 5, 2003 12:56 PMYou know, if there's any asses that need to be kicked, or names taken for that matter, we your vigilante army (or "Sally's Angels," if you will) will take care of it for you. You deserve a drama-free birthday.
And don't worry about getting old just yet, kid. You'll still be getting carded for a few decades to come.
(Hee hee. "Fartass.")
Posted by: Chico on September 5, 2003 12:57 PMOoh, "Sally's Angels," I like that. Dibs on Jaclyn Smith.
*flips hair, points .45*
Posted by: jonmc on September 5, 2003 12:58 PM[voice from speaker]
"My name's cowboy_sally, and these fartasses work for me..."
Posted by: Fes on September 5, 2003 01:03 PMNow I've got the Charlie's Angels theme in my head playing behind this.
Tha-anks, guys.
Posted by: Chico, in mid-gigglefit on September 5, 2003 01:38 PMGrr. My link up there is broken.
Lemme have a do-over:
Posted by: brittney on September 5, 2003 02:01 PM
Jesus wept, Brittney, that's beautiful.
Now, to the rest of you, I'd like to ask you to join me in the Shining Path.
~chuckle~
Posted by: cowboy_sally on September 5, 2003 02:45 PM~chuckle~
*eyes narrow, nostrils flare, asshair bristles menacingly*
Posted by: Fes on September 5, 2003 02:53 PM*pulls Sting out of sheath*
*notes the lack of glowing*
Don't worry Fes, it's not really foldy...
And Happy B-day Cowboy Sally, you thing from another world you.
Posted by: Cyrano on September 5, 2003 03:29 PMOh hurray…A Birthday Celebration…Happy Birthday Cowboy Sally.
[Thom looks at his recently stocked wet bar with glee]
So what you have?
Beers: Red Stripe, New Castle or Michelob Ultra
Wine: Cabernet Sauvignon 2000
Liquor: Vodka, Tuaca, Brandy, Large Empty Gin Bottle, Root Beer Schnapps
Assortments: Ginger Ale, Various Sodas
[actually most of the spirits above are in car waiting to go home]
Here is a tune wanna-b-rap-lyrics for you too.
Yes, various sodas are great, you don't have to actually chose a flavor, you think, then open, the flavor rushes from your brain to your taste buds. Please note, don't be listening to the rap kid)the link I provided above),...my penis is 3inches may leave a short flavor ;P
Posted by: Thomcatspike on September 5, 2003 05:07 PMHappy birthday, you absolute demon of karaoke.
You know I do wrong stuff with those toilet pictures, don't you.
Posted by: dong resin on September 5, 2003 05:43 PMHappy b-day, c_s!! Hope you have a lovely drunken day of it.
Posted by: aine42 on September 5, 2003 06:33 PM9622.net : I do wrong stuff with those toilet pictures
Posted by: stavrosthewonderchicken on September 5, 2003 09:27 PMI just passed buzzed and I'm rounding the corner toward hammered. And at this exact moment I'm listening to blind faith. And earlier this evening I told an englishman named lyndon where to buy sandwiches on the lower east side.
Just felt like gibbering. Carry on.
Posted by: jonmc on September 5, 2003 10:00 PMAlso has anyone besides me ever heard the song "Gotta Get Up," by the Bottle Rockets?
Has there ever been a more accurate description of bottom-level working stiff life? especially when theres nothing to fill the gap.
Thank god for blogging, and writing, and new york.
Posted by: jonmc on September 5, 2003 10:15 PMGibber. Gibberty-gib, gib-gibber.
Oh, and Happy Birthday, cowboy_sally.
(yee-haw!)
Posted by: yhbc on September 5, 2003 11:11 PMJon,
I'm a big Bottle Rockets fan (of course; they're from st. screwy!). Half of the band gets together with some local players to form Diesel Island, and plays my favorite bar once a month - all 60's and 70's outlaw country, all night. The other week, instead of Diesel Island, though, the full cast of the Bottle Rockets showed up for a practice gig before a tour. SWEET!
I've got a bottle of Maker's Mark for my sister's wedding tomorrow. Well, I only need enough to fill up my flask. So the rest, well, it's accompanying me right now. w00t!
Posted by: notsnot on September 5, 2003 11:58 PMHappy birthday, cowboy_sally. Some "cards" from wigger. courtesy of http://easybakecoven.net/ via http://relicious.blogspot.com/
Oh, you prefer art?
Posted by: alicesshoe on September 6, 2003 12:46 AMIt's cowboy_sallymas! I hear the spankings are especially harsh on this holiest of days.
Happy birthday, and don't forget to pad your ass.
Posted by: Mars Crash on September 6, 2003 03:10 PMOwww! The ass-pads are wearing out already.
I have gone out and gotten drunk the past three nights. I feel like a country song stereotype. I'm older, and sadder, and my car is broke down.
I will have you know that I ran into jonmc on friday and he divulged, in his semisober state, that he was the sleuth who figured out what day my birthday was on. Cheeky monkey!
Oh, and notsnot, hope your sister's wedding went well. I myself attended a conference yesterday with a flask of Knob Creek in my pocket. I think I scared some people.
Me and a friend once rode the rides at Playland in rye, with a flask of Bookers, then we got chili-cheese-steak wedges and pats hubba, then he yakked on my car door.
Posted by: jonmc on September 7, 2003 09:47 AMYou should see the other stuff that Jon has sleuthed out. Mutha just LOOKS drunk. He's actually a deep-cover agent for the CIA.
Okay, okay, I just wanted to type "deep-cover agent."
Posted by: Vidiot on September 7, 2003 12:34 PM**makes note: this "vidiot" knows too much. Investigate possible liquidation to see if it's worth the cost of the ammo**
Posted by: jonmc on September 7, 2003 12:46 PM*strolls along merrily, whistling as he goes*
Hmmm...what's this?
*picks up seemingly-abandoned, yet quite full bottle of Maker's Mark*
*sips experimentally*
Mmmm! Seems fine to me! I do like some good bourb--
*slumps to ground*
Posted by: Vidiot on September 7, 2003 05:24 PMjonmc: "then he yakked on my car door."
The inside of the door or the outside of the door? That's key...
inside. The stain never completely went away. Damn chili.
Posted by: jonmc on September 8, 2003 09:58 AMI had a friend puke on my dashboard once going down the highway in Tulsa. I pulled over to the shoulder of the road, reached across him to open his door, undid his seatbelt, and pushed him out of the car while yelling profanities at him. Unfortunately, he was already finished by this point in time. It's not fun.
Additionally, one of my fondest childhood memories is coming back from my parents friends' house. My sister and I were riding in the back seat of the Bronco II while my mom drove and my dad rode in the passenger seat. It wasn't long before he had unrolled the window and began heaving chunks that splatted on my sis's window. I squealed excitedly as she freaked the fuck out.
He tried to blame it on the hostess's (admittedly really shitty) lasagna. I was too young to realize at the time that my dad was just wasted. That makes it even better now.
Posted by: ufez on September 8, 2003 10:47 AMI once, in a fit of misdirected propriety, vomited into my own hat.
Posted by: Fes on September 8, 2003 12:47 PMI used to work with a guy whose claim to fame was that he could vomit into an empty beer bottle.
Posted by: Vidiot on September 8, 2003 01:04 PMNOTE TO SELF:
If you lock yourself in a glass box and fast for months, women will show you their boobies(SAFE).
Perhaps. Nothing else has seemed to work.
Posted by: jonmc on September 8, 2003 01:43 PMWell there's something to be thankful for.
No matter how pathetic our lives are, any one of us could be the guy whose claim to fame is that he could vomit into a beer bottle. As in, that's what he's famous for.
Think about that the next time you're feeling sorry for yourself.
Posted by: Chico on September 8, 2003 03:08 PMWhat's even more pathetic?
I think it's pretty cool.
Posted by: Vidiot on September 8, 2003 08:47 PMA note about posting images:
We encourage users to post images, especially those hilarous pics of monkeys
wearing dresses or programming for Linux. But posting images that reside on someone
else's server is considered by many to be bandwidth theft. Our thoughts
on the matter, along with some solutions to the problem, can be found
here. Thanks.
In an effort to help eliminate spam (and to preserve the sanity of the 9622 Volunteer Simian Spam-Cop Brigade) all threads older than 30 days will now be closed to comments.