Last night after a wonderful keilbasa supper, I sat joyfully waiting for the first weekday of my vacation to begin. Sadly around two A.M. , the teeth on the right side of my jaw began to hurt. Actually it was more like someone was crushing them with pliers. So as soon as I could I dragged my self to the dentist three blocks down, where after writhing in the waiting room for an hour, I recieved the first leg of an emergency root canal. It's all that Pocky and Mars Bars come back to haunt me. I'm also amazed at the calm of dental professionals in these situations.
So here I sit, home alone in my scivvies, numb-lipped and waiting for the company of my fellow monkeys.
Posted by jonmc at September 22, 2003 12:42 PMJaysus, that's terrible, jon. On the first day of your vacation, no less. My own (neglected) teeth twitch in sympathy.
Thank you, or if I were to say it out loud, "Dang Boo."
Get 'em taken care of. It may sound nuts coming from me but health is everything. On the plus side I have a prescription for vicodin if I need it and I found out that my cable system has VH1 Classic. Yesterday they played "Colored Lights" by the Blasters, with I last saw the one time they played back in 86, I think. Plus they played "Tired Of Toein' the line" by Rocky Burnette. This is what MTV used to be like before it got possessed by satan.
Posted by: jonmc on September 22, 2003 01:08 PMIf there were ever three words that should not form a phrase, they are "emergency" "root" "canal".
Condolences.
Posted by: Crash on September 22, 2003 01:21 PMA plug of tobacco on the tooth and a swig of something very alcoholic - that Bacardi 151 comes to mind - affords temporary relief, jon. Allow it to nestle on the offending tooth, till it does its insensitivising job.
As you will be insensitive for a while, you might like to avoid talking to your girlfriend, watching French films, reading poetry, buying new clothes or voting.
Here's hoping the dentist got down to your roots - way beyond the Cheap Trick zone, I'd say. :)
Posted by: Miguel on September 22, 2003 01:24 PMOuch Jon, that sucks, hope the pain goes away soon....iirc from my root canal one day recovery time, hang in there. Sounds like you're making the best of it though. Doing a "triple-V"; vacationing, VH1-ing & vicodin-ing yourself.
Ah, the emergency root canal. I had one when I was 16 due to my dentist being an idiot. On the plus side, I was able to walk out of French class over the French teacher's objections (She objected in French, no less. Such dedication to her job. I hate French teachers).
It's not fun, but the painkillers are nifty. And years down the road you get a lovely fake tooth. So, you might want to keep an eye on your dental insurance plan benefits.
Posted by: salmonberry on September 22, 2003 03:15 PMTrue story: my little brother's teeth grow back, like a shark's. He is somewhat unruly; he has been known to get into the occasional fistfight; on these occasions, he has had teeth knocked out. They grow back.
I had a cavity once, got it filled, the filling fell out (I swallowed it) and then the cavity filled itself in. So I suspect it's genetic, to greater and lesser degrees. But it's awfully disconcerting to our dentists.
Posted by: Fes on September 22, 2003 03:39 PMA plug of tobacco on the tooth and a swig of something very alcoholic - that Bacardi 151 comes to mind - affords temporary relief, jon.
Wow, I had no idea 'till now how many root canal patients there are roaming the streets around here.
Anyone know exactly what sort of medical problem driving around, blaring 50 Cent loud enough to rattle the huge plastic wing on the back of your Civic cures? Because that's apparently an epidemic, too.
Posted by: arto on September 22, 2003 03:42 PMThe numbness has almost worn off. Once that happens, the dentist said I could eat. I want some tomato soup and a grilled cheese sandwich, and a beer.
Thanks for the well-wishes. Believe me I feel a helluva lot better than I did this morning.
Posted by: jonmc on September 22, 2003 03:43 PMJon: If I could, I'd send you an .mp3 of D.O.P's seminal punk rock classic "The Dentist".
But, alas, as D.O.P. never released anything I'm only able to transcribe the mighty chorus:
I hate going to the dentist
Tell me why I have to see the dentist
I wanna slap his ugly face
He starts drilling
Drilling through
the holes in my teeth
OUCH!
Uh, maybe that made you feel worse?
Posted by: soundofsuburbia on September 22, 2003 03:52 PMNow I feel 17 - punch drunk on cheap liquor and in the vincinity of a swedish high school disco all over again. Damn myself for quoting D.O.P!
Posted by: soundofsuburbia on September 22, 2003 03:56 PMHandy tip: If you make sure and refill your vicadin and manage to not eat them all this week, they make very good assets for bartering or selling, at least to college kids, in my experience. Hope you do get better soon though, jon.
o/t: Anyone else signing up for Upcoming.org? Lemme know. I'd love to keep an eye on what shows and events you all are going to.
Posted by: ufez on September 22, 2003 04:08 PMMucho, mucho sympathy Jon, & get that Vicodin prescription filled. We're on the same shitty dental plan, and you are going to have to sell those pills to pay the bills, I'm afraid.
Glad to hear that you are plugged in. If you see that Zebra video, I want a full report.
Posted by: krimur on September 22, 2003 04:13 PMyou poor baby. ouch is all i have to say.
when i was nine or ten i had a cavity filled without the benefit of novacaine because i was scared of the needle. it really, really, really hurt.
i'm not scared of needles anymore, just pain.
Posted by: Valerie on September 22, 2003 06:48 PMmy little brother's teeth grow back, like a shark's.
Freaky. I have a mental picture of Beldar Conehead.
Imagine if Beldar were a sort of dwarven mongol biker, and you're getting very close.
Posted by: Fes on September 22, 2003 11:16 PMOw.
Jon, I think I took a picture of your dentist on my road trip this weekend:
"Tired Of Toein' the line" by Rocky Burnette.
Jon, I think I saw that about a month ago, but it looked like a Dexy's Midnight Runner vid, especially once I did some research on Rocky Burnette. Am I crazy, or did VH1 Classic switch the titles?
Posted by: mikro on September 23, 2003 09:42 AMImagine if Beldar were a sort of dwarven mongol biker, and you're getting very close.
I think I'd rather get far, far away. Although I am open-minded, dwarven mongol bikers have never been my type.
I usually go for the high-brow Sasquatch types.
Then you want my OLDER brother. Not so much on the high brow, but plenty of Sasquatch. We three hit the town, it looks like two Hell's Angels are taking their moderately-frightened lawyer out for drinks.
I recently moved to basic-only cable, and VH1 Classic is one of the channels I miss the most. I saw Caterwaul's "Flower and a Stone" video once. Special place I have for that one :)
So long as you're flipping around that region of the dial, don't discount MTV-Espanol. I saw a Natalia Oreiro video whose funky euro-goofiness what only enhanced by Ms. Oreiro's Barbarellaesque, uh, intriguingness.
Posted by: Fes on September 23, 2003 10:10 AMAnother weirdly cool thing about VH1 Classic: the Nagel-y intro and outre spacers between videos.
Posted by: Fes on September 23, 2003 10:15 AMOne of these days, I'll dig up my tape of a Serbian music video I was lucky to record a few years ago. It features paramilitary leader Arkan's wife performing Meredith Brooks's "Bitch", wildly off-key.
(And if you can parse THAT sentence, my hat is off to you. Need. More. Coffee.)
Posted by: Vidiot on September 23, 2003 11:35 AMTizzie, you sure that's not "monobrow Sasquatch types"? There are certainly more of them running around.
At least around here in Oregon.
Posted by: readymade on September 23, 2003 11:51 AMWow! I've still got a star. I feel all conspicuous now.
Posted by: readymade on September 23, 2003 11:52 AMUgly Rumor Alert: Readymade knocked down Stan Chin and took his star. Pass it on!
Posted by: Vidiot on September 23, 2003 12:43 PMOn the train platform this morning, I passed a person with unruly black hair, a flannel, jeans, and some grubby shoes. "Wow," I thought to myself, "a short jonmc".
Turns out it was a woman.
Posted by: ufez on September 23, 2003 01:06 PMSo...was the she-me hot? At the very least did I have some nice boobs?
Posted by: jonmc on September 23, 2003 01:51 PMWho's to say that I didn't get my gold star for sexual favors, huh? Maybe I "traded" Stan for it?
If I could get up out of this chair, I'd show you how sexy "pregnant" can be. You'd see!
*grunt* *snort* *gasp*
Posted by: readymade on September 23, 2003 02:02 PMUPDATE:
The post
"Ugly Rumor Alert: Readymade knocked down Stan Chin and took his star."
should read:
"Ugly Rumor Alert: Stan Chin knocked up Readymade and gave her his star."
--The Management
Posted by: Vidiot on September 23, 2003 02:10 PMI, um, well.
It's a fickle star, as all badges of merit should be. Showing up for one comment, showering glitter upon one who probably doesn't deserve it, and then disappearing the next, driving the star-recipient back into stark, howling anonymity.
That star is a harsh mistress....
Posted by: readymade on September 23, 2003 02:31 PMSo...was the she-me hot? At the very least did I have some nice boobs?
Can't really say. I only got a brief sidelong glance at the face. And as you well know, flannel isn't exactly as cleavage inducing as a halter top. I do think she may have been waiting for the train with her girlfriend though.
It's odd though. I've gone through many a circumstance in which I've seen the face of a friend through a different race, but never an alternate-gender doppelganger.
Posted by: ufez on September 23, 2003 03:20 PMThat star is a harsh mistress....
Thought the star is in your {{{belly}}};D
...how much longer to go, Readymade?
did I have some nice boobs?
Jon is your jaw filling better? sure you may still have some tension in that jaw, from saying AWWwww so long, that's what bother me the most during my "ordeal”(oral deal). This may take the sting away...
(I stopped with the star, because I don't know perl enough to have it go in automatically every time. The best I could do was have a script look for your name every few minutes and stick it in when it found it. Not the best way to do it. Even then it didn't show up until someone else posted a comment and the page was rebuilt.
But now that I hear that sexual favors are involved, I'm reconsidering.)
Posted by: jpoulos on September 23, 2003 03:29 PMI've had some of my own dental misadventures.
I'm not impressed Jon.
Good god, man! That's one squick-inducing image. What the hell happened?
Posted by: ufez on September 23, 2003 03:56 PMOuch, dude. I remember you telling me in new york, that you'd had some gnarly dental work. Tell, does LA have the same plague we do, ghetto dentists operating out of storefronts next to bodegas, all of them with a smiling tooth and "dentist" written in 8 languages? or is that a big apple thing.
I didn't use one. I retain a modicum of sense, believe it or not.
Posted by: jonmc on September 23, 2003 05:24 PMYes, we do have those dentists. They're in every strip mall in the Valley. Instead, I went to an upscale dentist in my neighborhood who charged me my first born but gave me nice drugs.
Posted by: eyeballkid on September 23, 2003 05:44 PMUfez, that pic has patented Rollover Dental Surgery Disaster™ text built right in.
Posted by: eyeballkid on September 23, 2003 05:47 PMJon's dentist don't work too hard
Always at the pub
Jon says he ain't comin' back till they're down to a nub.
I haven't been to a dentist in almost a decade.
I am inordinately proud of this vagabond-esque fact.
Posted by: stavrosthewonderchicken on September 24, 2003 09:08 AMVagabondesque is my cousin's name. Kind of the poorly drawn Spike to my Snoopy. Or is it the Doo to my Dum?
What I'm saying here is that there are various cartoon dogs which represent either me or my cousin in this scenario.
Shoot. I should have made handouts.
Posted by: kafka, esq. on September 24, 2003 10:56 AMI feel like doing something wholesome today. Anybody wanna come to my house and play jacks then read Richie Rich comics over milk & cookies?
Posted by: jonmc on September 24, 2003 11:01 AMSo tell me, is the greenroom really green?
Good on you to meet El Vez.
Posted by: readymade on September 24, 2003 12:52 PMYou lucky SOB. I just saw that interview and was thinking of you. I also emailed in a request for "Psycho" on the live by request show.
Posted by: jonmc on September 24, 2003 12:52 PMOoooh, good request, Jon. (I e-mailed a request for "You Tripped At Every Step.")
The green room is the same off-white as the rest of our office. (There's greenery in it, though.)
Posted by: Vidiot on September 24, 2003 01:12 PMWhat's ol' Richie Rich up to these days, anyway?
(Hanging out at Soho House with Paris Hilton, I bet, and doing lots of blow.)
Posted by: Vidiot on September 24, 2003 01:13 PMActually, I believe his blow habit ate up the family fortune and he's been doing golden shower porn with his "partner" Sluggo.
Posted by: jonmc on September 24, 2003 01:20 PMIt's 3pm. I haven't shaved in 3 days. I'm still in my boxers and bathrobe. I've been wafting between reading on the back porch, webbin' and TV. I'm eating candy corn and I just cracked my first Rheingold of the day and winamp fired up the Guess Who's version of Johnny Kidd and the Pirates' "Shakin' All Over."
Life can be sweet.
Posted by: jonmc on September 24, 2003 03:17 PMVidiot! How excellent. Elvis Costello is right up top on my "I would marry him and have all his babies" list - right behind you monkey guys, of course.
Posted by: tizzie on September 24, 2003 03:33 PMBrittney, the cruel review is up.
Tizzie reveals her inner meanie! Film at 11!
Posted by: tizzie on September 24, 2003 03:57 PMNah, that wasn't cruel. It was an evidently-well-deserved thrashing, delivered with attitude and without schadenfreude or viciousness.
Posted by: Vidiot on September 24, 2003 04:14 PM*Still giggling about Frozen Vegetable Guy's Mamaw*
We want more, Tizzie!
(I enjoyed it tremendously. Thanks!)
Posted by: Miguel on September 24, 2003 07:59 PMYay, tiz!
Also : I just met Elvis Costello.
If I met him, I would ask him to squeal for me. He squeals magnificently, particularly on King of America, which I love with an unseemly passion.
Posted by: stavrosthewonderchicken on September 24, 2003 10:13 PMWonderchicken passing wisdom on to one of his acolytes:
"Kid, theres no such thing as a bad beer. Also ditch the black t-shirt..."
Posted by: jonmc on September 24, 2003 10:53 PMBrava, Tiz!
That place sounds absolutely wrteched--I would never eat there.
So, WELL DONE!
Posted by: brittney on September 25, 2003 01:00 AMWhat's with all the monkeys?
How darest thou ask such an impertinent question, child, on this the feast day of St. Lancelot of Evolution, patron saint of rock & roll chimpanzee secret agents?
(also, they're monkeys. What's not to love?)
Posted by: arto on September 25, 2003 05:09 AMBy the way, and I've never asked this before, but what's with all the monkeys, you freaks?
Posted by: stavrosthewonderchicken on September 25, 2003 05:53 AMIf I met him, I would ask him to squeal for me. He squeals magnificently,
Sting makes grunty sort-of animal noises that I find disturbingly erotic.
Maybe that's what's with the monkeys.
Posted by: tizzie on September 25, 2003 08:22 AMOne night I was bored and went into the mother thread, and read, if not all, most of it. I think one must look to brother tj for the answer to the eternal question, "What's with all the monkeys, you freaks?"
The seed was planted by him. Randy devil.
Posted by: readymade on September 25, 2003 08:55 AMSting makes grunty sort-of animal noises that I find disturbingly erotic.
I also find Sting and his noises disturbingly erotic. And it has nothing to do with his singing.
Posted by: Valerie on September 25, 2003 08:58 AMTiz, great read: Don't eat here...the read was terrific, sorry about your taste buds & date though hope they were not offended. ...I'm off to the Dentist all, Dr. Payne, it's just a cleaning so no pain :P
Posted by: Thomcatspikecross&bones on September 25, 2003 04:09 PMPoor Thomcatspike! Jon, cowboy_sally, eyeballkid, stavros - sheesh, this place is dental hell.
Do we need to have a flossing thread?
Or a threading floss?
Sorry.
Posted by: tizzie on September 25, 2003 04:18 PMAnd thanks for all the compliments on the review. *blush*
There's another one on there where I gave jonmc and vidiot a shout-out - my "New York City friends." WoooHOOO for the Kentucky girl with friends in the big city, heh.
Posted by: tizzie on September 25, 2003 04:31 PMWow. Thanks!
(Is it wise to admit in Kentucky that you have "New York City friends"?)
Posted by: Vidiot on September 25, 2003 06:44 PMnot if her friends have "right purty mouths," which neither of us do...
Posted by: jonmc on September 25, 2003 07:05 PMIt's simple.
Monkeys are funny.
Posted by: The Great and Powerful Tay-Hota on September 25, 2003 11:14 PMA note about posting images:
We encourage users to post images, especially those hilarous pics of monkeys
wearing dresses or programming for Linux. But posting images that reside on someone
else's server is considered by many to be bandwidth theft. Our thoughts
on the matter, along with some solutions to the problem, can be found
here. Thanks.
In an effort to help eliminate spam (and to preserve the sanity of the 9622 Volunteer Simian Spam-Cop Brigade) all threads older than 30 days will now be closed to comments.