9622.net

Ya know, you make one labia size joke and then *pow* it's time for a new thread.

Jeez...

Commish has been into the mescaline again.

Alert the National Guard, all flagpoles will need a 24-7 sentry for the next week.

flagpoles?
vas is das, der flagpoles?
oh, vell ...
"ha, ha to you, then danger_crash!"

9622.net: laughs in the face of danger and tweaks the nose of peril.

I WANT THAT HAT!!!!

mariachi monkey, does he take music request? One-Ton-Tomato. For me, just isn't a Sunday's w/o mariachi music.

mariachi monkey, does he take music request? One-Ton-Tomato. For me, just isn't a Sunday's w/o mariachi music.

TJ Monkey blames the salad.

I'd like a little vinaigrette with my hallucinatory salad, please.

Commish, did you have something to do with this?

A witness told police she later saw the gorilla sitting at a bus stop on a street near the zoo.

Couldn't you north-easters have arranged for a getaway car? Sheesh. Let a brutha monkey down!

Happy monkey birthday to Quonsar! (if yer lookin')

KONSE'S BIRTHDAY!?!?! oh boy..........

Someone please tell me how to post an image using a mac so I can celebrate the quonsariversary!

I just stopped by Brittney's blog, and there was an interesting juxtaposition: underneath her current picture, in which she displays,uh, ample cleavage, are the words "itty bitty". Odd, huh?

I'm seriously considering getting the "Buddy" face at the top of this page tattooed on my bicep.

Opinions? Advice? Scorn?

Concern! Concern for your pores and tender follicles!

Concern!

*can't stop saying concern!*

I passed delicate along time ago, kafstah, but thanks for the, um, concern.

'sides, people will see that on my arm and think it's a self portrait. cool.

Concern!

I never got a tattoo, but I had one that I was always telling people I was going to get, so that's pretty much the same thing, right?

It was an Edward Gorey devil in a 3-piece suit.

Well, either that or Strawberry Shortcake. I never decided.

Also, I had a friend in high school who got "FUCK YOU" tattooed on the inside of his bottom lip. We used to joke about that being the worst possible tattoo, and then one day he got it.

This is indicative of a larger process leading towards very, very poor decision making skills.

*inside* his lip? Ouch.

I have never gotten a tattoo for the same reason that I've never gotten a bumper sticker on my car - by the time I find one I like, I'm already over the urge to display it.

Although miladyfes has enacted a permanent ban on all tattoos, earrings (piercings of any kind, really), ritual scarring, CO2 potato guns and motorcycles, I've always kind of wanted (a) my family coat of arms on my left bicep, and (b) one of those big-ass green-and-yellow curlicue asian dragons like the Yakuza have, across my shoulderblades.

If I outlive her (fat chance, that), I'll get the crest.

Ok, who let jpolous out again?

12 Monkeys!

Hmmm ... yes, ana - apparently, I let Lupo out.

You people just don't know how many 300-pound gorillas we have in Massachusetts, do you?

Fes-
what about potato guns that you arm with a standard-issue bike pump? I keep one of those in my car - great party game.

Yhbc

how did you post that cute little dancing mariachi monkey?

I never got a tattoo, but I had one that I was always telling people I was going to get, so that's pretty much the same thing, right?

Me too, with the added bonus that this 'buddy' of mine, who I not so secretly Hate With A Passion™ got it instead, and no doubt now tells all the hookers that it was his idea.

valerie: you need to have your own webspace to post pictures, as 'splained by our adminisimians here. However, while freebie sites like www.photoisland.com work just fine for posting standard pictures (which are usually in .jpg format), they don't let you store pictures that are in .gif format like the animated monkey. The .gif files are the ones that move, so to post them on a page you need your own webspace, which I get from verizon as part of my subscription with them.

Once you have a place to store your pictures and animations, all you have to do is post a direct link to one of them to make it appear on the page. If, say, you have a dancing monkey picture at www.myspace/sillyanimations/monkey.gif, you could type out a comment in the form [img src="www.myspace/sillyanimations/monkey.gif"] - but using carets instead of square brackets - and the dancing monkey picture would appear.

A good introduction to simple HTML (which is really what this is all about) is here, if you're still interested.

Hope that helps!

Now, if what you were really asking is why I had a picture of a cute little dancing mariachi monkey in the first place, I'm afraid I can't answer that question on the advice of my therapist.

Hey, I just read that shite, errrr, article about "Vice" magazine in the NY Times.

Not politically correct? Drinks cheap beer? We've got that. I am not so sure about trucker hats, however.

Are we on the hipster train here at 9622?

So, drinking cheap beer becomes hip after I graduate from college and can afford to stop drinking Shaffer?

Swell.

True cheap beer story:

When my mother and aunt and uncle were in high school, my grandfather (who's a not-quite alcoholic alcoholic) switched from drinking Budweiser to Carling Black Label because, in his words, "the kids wouldn't steal it." So he basically just fell in love with the worst possible beer imaginable, and now can't drink anything else. And I'm pretty certain he's the sole reason his local liquor store even bother's stocking Black Label.

YHBC
Thank you for the explanation.
I am trying to learn HTML language but without shoe verbs I'm lost.

But one day, I'll know it like the back of my back.

The best cheapies I ever drank?

Sterling silver label: 3.95 a CASE for bar bottles ar Pinch Penny Liquors in Carbondale, Illinois ca. 1985. That includes the buck deposit. I drank a LOT of this back in the day.

Drummond Brothers: They only sold it in 12-packs, and it was bottled in those shorty bottles like Red Stripe comes in. Their imputed motto? "Have a Drummy with a Dummy."

Weidemann: also available in bar bottles, super cheap, and you get a buck back if/when you bring back the case, which is just awesome, and I mean that in the traditional sense, "to generate awe." (this being an era when you culd get a pack of Marlboro Reds for a buck even at the Citgo next to Pinch). Imputed motto: "Weidemann Weep." (say it out loud)

Stroh's: Super cheap, and it came in both quarts (subtle!) and 16-ounce "pounders". I once broke a pounder bottle over my head to win $20. Didn't hurt, but I woke up the next morning with glass in my hair, which can be disconcerting.

Old Milwaukee. The proto-"Beast." Mother's milk to the Chicago contingent. You couldn't get Old Style, so this had to serve as our homesickness medicine.

Stag: a foul local brew, desultorily made by G. Heilemann Brewing. Q. How do you make a Carbondale Martini? A. Stag beer with a booger in it.

But the ultimate cheap beer drinking experience? Rhinelander Bock. The guy at Pinch actually GAVE us two cases of this stuff for FREE because he literally could not sell it at any price. We drank it ice cold, and it still initiated a gag reflex the first coupla swallows.

Ah, how can you forget the inestimable and possibly onomatopoeic Blatz beer?

But my number one beer for taking along seven cases for a night of camping is Lucky Lager. 11oz. bottles that look like something from a dispensing chemist and rebuses on the bottlecaps.

Good times.

Didn't Haffenreffer used to do that?

They still do, and so does Ballantine, but they haven't updated the rebuses in a while. The answer to one recent cap of mine was "Richard Nixon."

Somebody poke the rebus guy, make sure he's alive.

Oh, and Schlitz, Olde English 800, Steel Reserve, Haffenreffer, and Meister Brau are the best cheapies.

I want to get some Blatz beer and Utz potato chips for the ultimate in onomatopoetics.

For consistent access to cheap drinks, take up curling. In Canada, can't imagine it's different in the states, every curling rink has a club lounge attached to it, offering both cheap beer AND cheap hi-balls. Sure, you have to fumble a bit with a broom, but how hard can that be, right? I mean, have you SEEN curlers? Not exactly high end athletes.

9622 could enter a team into the 2010 Olympics. It'll all be happening where I live. You can all crash at my place, and I will also offer cheap drinks.

No, Take The Skinheads hurling....

A great crowd showed up decked out in a fine assortment of jerseys.

Including us. (Chico and Towerbrave were also wearing hockey gear, but pictures are mysteriously absent.)

Also: At the diner after the show (and y'all, Queens has way better diners than B'klyn), they have monkey on the menu.

Yes, but as I recall, we had the wittiest diner waiter in history, eh, vidstah?

Curling? But do they have shirts?

True dat, brothah Jon.

I loved it when someone ordered a milkshake and he asked "Do you want it hot or cold?"

Well, I guess maybe you just had to be there.

I asked for a hot milkshake, damnit. But did he deliver? Noooo. He was all, like, being witty and charming and fast with the service and whatnot. You know, I don't think he was serious at all.

Oh, and here are the scant few pictures I have of us monkeys from that night:

Vidiot and Bari - an uncharacteristically focused shot;
Vidiot and Bari - as the rest of us saw them by night's end;
jon and Pips, making sure the tank was full before we went to the rocker room;
Me, Jon's arm and Vidiot
Towerbrave encourages the Hockey Monkey, which drove the poor beast into a frenzy.

Anyway. There's more shots of the mighty Z's here if it matters, but them's all the monkey shotses.

1. Is the chick in front of Towerbrave in this shot wearing a skirt made of metrocards or am I having an acid flashback.

2. If so how come I didn't notice that Saturday night? I'm oblivious, but not that oblivious.

Yessir, them's Metrocards covering the lower half of her body.

I asked her what the occasion was, and she just shrugged. I'm guessing it was either laundry day or she was expecting to win an Oscar.

And you were pretty busy working the back half of the room (where the hardcore kids were) and singing along with the hooligans on stage, so I'd understand the occasional leggy hipster slipping under your radar.

(I'm throwing you a line here, bro, grab it.)

Cheap beer? One word: Lemp. three bucks a twelve. In 2003, not 1985. The only problem is that it has to be dry-ice cold to be drinkable.

One time I accidentally swigged from a friend's spit cup, and realized it was an improvement over Lemp.

Jeezus, notsnot. Why the hell would someone name a beer Lemp? What, was it founded by the seventh stooge of the seventh stooge or something?

At least Meister Brau, Old Milwaukee and even Blatz could be construed in some distant faraway place as maybe having had some kind of cachet in the pre-Jurassic past.

But ... Lemp? I'd expect something that tasted like an old biker's hair.

Arr! E's got The Lemp! Cut 'is leg off and feed it to the..ummm...hermit crabs?

That damn El Presidente was in town tonite - rode past my office in his motorcade en route to big bucks fund raising dinner at the home of the guy who owns the Cincinnati Reds (among other things).

If you look at my office you'll see a nice ass print on the third window from the left on the third floor facing the expressway - that'd be mine.

I. Cannot. Get. THEHOCKEYMONKEYSONGOUTOFMYHEAD! AHHH!

Actually, Lemp was a rather popular beer in the early 1900's, along with...Greisedieck Bros (say it out loud). The Lemp brewery still stands in south St. Louis, near a nice misic venue I frequent. The mansion in which various members of the Lemp family sommitted suicide is a restaurant, and the old caves under the plant are a haunted house every year at Halloween.

Jaysus, I look hammered in that pic.

(Sad thing? I wasn't.)

I. Cannot. Get. THEHOCKEYMONKEYSONGOUTOFMYHEAD! AHHH!

This should remove it quite nicely. Although, it will continuethe vicious cycle...

From this wonderful place.

Uh, thanks jon... a change is as good as a rest, they say.
My budgies really dug it.

Also, I love Hawaiian people and Hawaiian music, but the language has too many apostrophes.

Budgies, you say?

You know, there are two ways to put down your budgie.

Budgie?

I have to say, after seeing the Creatures, Budgie is a great, great musician. But I also have to say, he's a little weird.

My Budgie existed first, dadgummit. Plus they did "Nude Disintegrating Parachutist Woman."

And I heard of the band before I heard of the bird.

I thought a budgie was a bird.

There was also an old teevee show called Budgie.

"There was also an old tee vee show called Budgie."

Oooh. What old TV show? Tell, tell.

I've never heard of it.

Never heard of it before, but:
"Budgie"

Featuring Gimli, Son of Gloin as "Laughing Spam Fritter", no less.

I'm sure I speak for more than one of us when I say, in slow motion:
W.
T.
F?!?

Whoa, whoa, whoa...he's the f*cking dwarf?!?

Man...

Although, personally, I'd rather have this on my resume.

And there's quite the chasm between this and this...

I've been working on Judy Garland compilations all morning. If this keeps up I'll be gay by lunch.

Who knows Photoshop (Crash!)??

We need a copy of Al Franken's "new" book: Rush
Limbaugh - Not Just a Big Fat Idiot, but a Big Fat
Racist Junkie Idiot :-)

Oh, that makes me so happy! Hey, I usually don't rejoice in other people's misfortune, but in Limbaugh's case, I'll make an exception.

Junkie? You mean like a junkfood junkie? Or is Rush sniffing tv tube cleaner?

No sir, he's doin' the hillbilly heroin, OxyContin!

What a hypocrite.

Couldn't happen to a nicer guy.

Sorry, no, it could.

(9622: If this keeps up, I'll be gay by lunch.)

Well, it's almost two o'clock. Should Pips be worried?

We'll disuss it over a pina colada.

You couldn't come up with a "gayer" drink than a pina colada?

We might need to call the FAB FIVE to "straighten you out."

A note about posting images:

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