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Is this just a Kentucky thing? I've seen it twice now.

What does it mean???

The Land Of Race Car Ya-Ya's
Where Dice Dangle Like Testicles From Rear View Mirrors.

Wait a minute.

I think that's my ex-boyfriend.

The truck, or the cojones?

Both.

That's not half the story either, is it?

Not that our Iberian neighbours are any better. Here's an old joke:

One day a man was visiting a small village in Spain. He walks into a restaurant and is immediately surrounded by a wonderful smell. He could hardly wait to try the local cuisine.
He asks “What smells so good?”
The waiter explains “Once a week we have a bull fight around here. What you smell is cojones à la andalusa from the bull. But I am sorry sir: you will have to wait until next week to get some because only one person can be served as there is but one bull in the fight.”
So the next week the man goes in and orders the cojones. He is in luck because he got there and ordered them first. They were frying and he smelled the wonderful smell and could hardly wait.
When they were brought out however, he was disappointed at the size of them. The ones he saw served the last week had been bigger. But he ate them hungrily.
Before leaving he comments that they had been quite tiny.

“Well I am sorry Señor", replies the waiter, "but sometimes the bull he wins!”

*groan*

I laughed so hard at that joke, I think I just wet myself a little bit. Just a little bit.

What does it mean???

Well, for some extremely tiny penises, a colossal red truck (the southern version of the big red Corvette) just simply isn't an adequate enough level of sublimated psychological compensation.

Coincidentally, there is little known tale about the spotlessly clean purple Saturn Ion that pulled up behind this truck at a stoplight, saw the balls, and tried to insert its radio antenna into the trucks tailpipe.

Honestly, the first ones I saw were bright yellow on a bright yellow truck, and I thought, "Oh, is this a gay thing?"

Nope, now I'm thinking, it's a redneck thing.

I plan a truck with not just replica testicles, but representations of all the various human organs and sweetmeats variously pasted about its chassis.

Like Slim Goodbody with wheels.

License plates on Kaf's truck? "HLLRSER"

My truck has such delights to show you.

Big step up into the cab, and mind the three-penny nails.

(the southern version of the big red Corvette)
Thought a Red Escalade was the thingy now down south. In high school remember guys "hanging" a noose usually with Garfield in it under their jacked up 70's muscle cars.

The big-ass trucks still are pervasive down South. (the mega-SUVs are everywhere, but they tend to be driven by yuppies and soccer moms.)

And if you go to West Virginia, they have "duallies" -- pickup trucks with two wheels in the front and four wheels in the back.

Weird. Here they have five tires in the front and mostly three in the back.

The balls dangling from a truck will just make the driver's penis look even smaller. Or like he has elephantiasis. Which, I have to say, is pretty hot.

Did you have the bun yet, readymade?

I'm all confused.

There is still bun in oven. He says hello. I have months and months to go. I'm pretty sure they mess with your mind when they tell you how many weeks you have...it works out to be more like 9 and a half months (10 if you're really screwed), which might as well be eternity when you reach my stage (six months).

I look like an Oompah Loompah though, so that's a plus.

But can you do the little dance they did? If not I want my money back.

What do you get when you're wife is all...
Fat?
A kid at the end of a nine month old...
Spat?
Blaming the condom is a lion of shame
You know exactly who's to blame:
The mother and the father!

[There's been no nine-month spat...I thought I would resort to stereotype because it was convenient. There wasn't a condom either.]

I can't wait until Lil' Nacho is like 19. I'll show up at his dorm room with transcripts of all postings related to him and pics of mom gallavanting around NYC with drunken strangers. Then I'll refer him to a good therapist. Or bartender.

9622.net: There wasn't a condom.

"BALLS ON THE BACK OF A TRUCK GIVES THE PHRASE REAR ENDING NEW MEANING."

(yes. you have permission to hit me the next time you see me.)

How wrong would it be to walk around with a pair of these hanging out of your zipper?

Yeah, that's what I thought. Damn.

Sometimes I wish I could have a set of big hairy ones without the other part.

To quote the great philosopher Andrew Dice Clay:

"It's a three piece set."

I mean, you wouldn't order a bacon and tomato sandwhich. You gotta have the lettuce, too.

Valerie: of your own? or just to keep in the toy chest like Beenie Babies?

Wow. You guys put a lot of thought into this.

If you could ever experience the pain when you accidentally smash them on a bike seat, you might rethink your acquisition of the marble bag there Val.

Well. Yes. I guess that's what makes balls both an assett and a liability. I always wanted stick my hand down my pants and warm it up like I've seen so many men do. You know, some men (not all, this is not a sweeping generalization) just like to sit with their hand on their balls. When I've asked some men why they like to do that, the response has always been because it's warm down there.

Makes sense, not very sexy, but it makes sense.

Maybe you're just inspiring them.

Oh.....go on.....tell me more about my eyes....

That's just stupid.

"Because it's warm down there" is man-code for "because I need to be ready at a moment's notice should the opportunity to masturbate present itself"

Is it dumb or just setting myself up for frustration, to spend the evening half-cocked, listening to the best 70's-country band in the Midwest, and hitting on an extrememly attractive Belgian woman who's going to be deported on Wednesday after 12 years in the states?

Is it dumb or just setting myself up for frustration, to spend the evening half-cocked, listening to the best 70's-country band in the Midwest, and hitting on an extrememly attractive Belgian woman who's going to be deported on Wednesday after 12 years in the states?

Um notsnot, what were you thinking, not like a guy; just hitting on the woman...ah too late now. Your hang over will clear you up.

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